28-12-2019, 10:50 PM
Meera quickly started preparing lunch for her husband. She had gone to the temple in the morning itself unlike her usual time in the evening so as to pray for the recovery of Prabu’s father. Passing by the mango grove behind her house had triggered the memories of how her descent to sexual depravity began though she didn’t realise at that time that that was when it had all actually started. As she was lost in those thoughts, she did not start her usual chores as she should have and was now hurriedly cooking, so as to have the food prepared before her husband returned home. Luckily she could hear her husband’s motorbike as he arrived home just as she sat down on the sofa after finishing cooking.
As she served him lunch, she wondered whether she should inquire about Prabu’s father’s current health situation. Though she really did want the old man to recover her primary concern was to know about Prabu and his expected time of arrival. Only the talk about his father’s health condition could naturally lead to information about him too that she was eager to learn. What if he was to come here, how does that change anything she thought. He would be coming with his wife and he may not even want to come and see her. After all he had got everything he wanted of her. He had tasted every bit of her body. He had enjoyed her in every possible position that he fancied. She on her part had done things for him that she had not even done for her husband. What more is there for him. I have already fulfilled all his desires.
It’s not fair that I blame him only for having used me she thought. I was equally to blame. I did everything willingly as lust blinded me to great sin I was committing. I could have and should have stopped him. Even if the first time was excused as something done in a moment of weakness, I had plenty of time to ponder on my betrayal of the trust my loving husband had on me. I should have forbade him from ever seeing me when I was alone. (I couldn’t forbid him from ever coming to my house as that would have made my husband wonder why Prabu is not visiting him anymore.) But I became a slave to those forbidden pleasures that he was giving me. All the variety, the unaccustomed foreplay drowned me in exquisite sensuality that shattered my resistance. I still needed to see him to know why he did not at least explain his situation to me and simply left without any forewarning.
This question was what that greatly disturbed her. Some of the reasons she could think of for this happening brought a chill to her heart. However since nothing adverse had happened so far she believed there could be reasons that were not as bad as that she feared and she tried very hard not to think about. Anyway only Prabu could clear those doubts, she reasoned in her mind. That was the reason she needed to see him and not because she wanted to renew their adulterous relationship, she tried to convince herself.
“Any news on Prabu’s father’s health?” she asked slowly as she replenished his plate with some more vegetable that she had cooked.
“He is a fighter, he is hanging on and the doctors are amazed and pleased at his will power,” replied Saravanan.
“Oh, that’s good,” she replied showing no expression on her face.
Saravanan thought back to his visit to the hospital yesterday. Prabu’s mother had come to him crying. She pulled him to a corner and spoke to him with tears flowing down her cheeks.
“Forgive me my son, I know my husband had forbade Prabu ever to come back but with him in this condition I am trying to contact him to come back here and see his father one last time before he passes away,” she started sobbing more heavily after saying this.
Saravanan’s heart went out to see that old woman suffering like this. Not only she knew her husband was battling for his life, but their only son was unable to be with them in this most trying time for the family.
“That’s okay Ma, you don’t have to apologise. I am not so cruel to get angry for this but don’t lose hope, father will pull through. He has a strong will.”
Prabu’s mother looked at the kind face of the man who had been greatly wronged by her offspring. Which other man would have this much of sympathy for a family that had caused great distress and chaos to him and his family. Overcome with emotion she buried her face in his hands. Her tears wet his hands as she wept in gratitude. She slowly looked up at his face again.
“Prabu’s father had been so angry at what he had done that he had scolded him very harshly that day when he came back after meeting your wi…..” she couldn’t say the word as it hurt her still to think of that and it would again hurt Saravanan to be reminded of that day.
“His father is an honourable man and he was mortified that his son had behaved in such a disgusting and dishonourable manner.” She paused for a moment after saying this and then continued. “He banished his only son from his sight but after that he had become a broken man. His health started deteriorating slowly after that.”
Saravanan thought to himself Prabu’s deeds not only affected me but his family too. He had pushed his father to an earlier death than his father would have otherwise had.
“The reason why I am telling you this now is that even if his father did not want to see him again, now when he is fighting for his life, he keeps mumbling his name. He subconsciously wants to see his son. The doctors advised us to try and get him here. I think he is holding on to his life just because of that,” the old lady said her tears drying up for the moment.
He had come back home yesterday after spending quite some time, there in the hospital.
When Saravanan reached back to his shop after his lunch he was lost in his own thoughts. What will happen if Prabu does come back. He would surely not make any effort to meet Meera as he had promised. Last time he did that without any impunity because he was under the impression, I was unaware of his secret liaison with my wife but now he knows that’s not the case. Moreover, he had seemed genuinely remorseful for the havoc his actions had caused me and his family, and he would not want to break his promise. His wife would also be with him and at this grave time sex would hardly be in his mind.
What about me though pondered Saravanan. What am I going to do. I can see the difficulties Meera is suffering not being able to forget her affair. I was wrong, I thought Prabu’s absence would solve all the problems, but I can see I had been wrong in that assumption. I do not want a relationship that is uneasy or forced upon Meera. The question is, what does she want. More importantly knowing what she wants, what would I do about that. There was some vague thinking on my part but my thoughts were not crystalized yet.
Meera had a slow thoughtful lunch after her husband had left for work. Things are moving back to a greater confusing time and she was unsure how she would react or how she would handle it. She sat on the sofa and though of switching on the TV. At least let me immerse myself in something else for the time being she thought. That’s when she saw the film magazine on the table in front of her.
(A little more than 2 ½ years before)
Prabu walked in jauntily into the house. There was no sign of any limp from him.
“Couldn’t see you for the last two days, what happened?” Meera asked him with the bright smile on her face showing that she was pleased to see him.
Prabu was very happy internally on seeing that smile on her face. He had not come there on purpose. He wanted her to miss his visits. He must make her feel bored in the mornings without his presence.
“I had been forbidden to go anywhere by my mother. She got so scared after my little accident,” Prabu’s smile was equally bright.
“So how did you get away, sneaked away from home is it?”
“I am a good person not sneaky,” He said showing all his teeth in big smile. “Had to beg my mom to let me go out. Had to make all sorts of promises that I would be very careful on the bike anymore.”
“Yeah, yeah, very good boy.” She said that as if to tell him she knew how naughty he was.
He walked in and sat on the same long sofa she sat on. She noticed he did not sit on the single sofa chair like he usually did.
“You seemed to have recovered, I didn’t see any limp.”
“Yes, the ache was there only for a day. It was so boring at home. Moreover, I couldn’t even smoke to pass the time.”
He was reminding her that he was one who did not make empty promises and he had quit smoking as he had vowed to her. Meera still wanted to needle him.
“You could have always sneaked out to the back of your house to smoke,” she said with a mischievous smile on her face.
“Your kidding is it. I made you a promise didn’t I. How can I break any promises made to you.” She could not quite make out the look with which he was looking at her. Was it friendship, fondness or something more. The look created a disturbing feeling within her.
To break that mood Meera asked him,” what’s that in your hand?”
“Oh, this is just a film Magazine I bought today,” Prabu replied.
Meera perked up on hearing this,” really let me see that,” she asked excitedly.
She opened and started going through the magazine. She suddenly realised he had moved to sit close to her and was glancing at the pages along with her. Should she move or not. His presence so close to her disturbed her but in a pleasant manner. He reached out and opened a few pages before stopping at a particular page.
“Now, who does that remind you of,” he asked.
The page had a large picture of the actress Ambika. (She was a popular Tamil heroine in the eighties). She knew that he had commented earlier to her once that she had a great resemblance to that actress and that actress was his favourite heroine.
Meera purposely tried to play ignorance. “Who? I don’t know!!”
Prabu knew that she knew and that she was purposefully teasing him. Besides woman like to be told and hear for themselves someone else telling them how beautiful they are. Well if she wants to be coquettish than I can play that game too he decided.
“She looks exactly like Kavita.”
“What!! Kavita?? Who is that,” Meera asked dismayed.
“My neighbour two doors away from my house.”
“Oh, she is very attractive is it.” Prabu was amused to see the disappointment and even a little bit of jealousy on her face.
He was well aware she knew he was attracted to her, but she had taken that nonchalantly, as she was sure she would not be affected by it and also with a little pride that she was being admired by other men. Women are however competitive as far as beauty is concerned so even though in her mind she thought Prabu meant nothing to her it still upset her to know that he found someone else more attractive when all the while she was thinking it was her.
“Yes, for a 11 year old girl she is a beautiful child. Ambika must have looked like her at that age.”
The happy smile that suddenly blossomed on Meera’s face pleased Prabu very much. He was getting closer and closer to his goal. Even though his hands itched to grab her body now he knew it was too soon and would spoil his plans. A time will come soon when his arms would be wrapped around her body as will her arms around his. The thrill was in seducing a woman as beautiful as this who had no intention of being unfaithful to her husband. You can’t get the same excitement with a woman who is already willingly waiting to be involved in an affair.
“What?? She is only a 11 year old child?” Meera’s delight could be seen on her face. She did not realise she was so openly displaying her feelings to him.
“Yes, but I know of another person who I think is even more attractive than Ambika,” Prabu said his tone somewhat more seductive.
A smile still played on Meera’s face,” who,” she asked her voice too several octaves lower.
“The woman sitting beside me.”
Meera dared not to turn and look at Prabu. “Now, you are making fun of me. Look at her,” Meera said referring to the picture,” she is so beautiful.”
“That’s because of all the make-up. Even without that you look as good as her but if you were to make-up like that you would out beat her in beauty.”
All the praise was causing a thrill in her heart, but she nevertheless wasn’t going to show it.
“Something is wrong with your eyes, you better see a good eye doctor,” Meera teased him.
“My eyes are perfectly fine, only you are not aware how attractive you are. Surely Saravanan would have remarked to you that you look like Ambika.”
Those praises of her beauty were in the early years of marriage but not for some time now. Even then he had never remarked she looked like this actress.
“He is not much interested in movies. He only comes along when I want to see one.”
Prabu looked at the picture and looked at her several times. Seeing this Meera asked him,” Why are looking like that.”
“Don’t get angry but I was wondering how you would look in this type of modern dress.”
“Chee, don’t talk nonsense, she is an actress and must dress up like that. I am a housewife. I can’t wear those types of clothes.”
“Yeah, I understand. You would be the talk of this town if you ever dressed like that, but I have never seen you in anything than a Saree. Not even a churidar.”
“Oh no, when I was young, I used a half saree and now only sarees. Our family ladies don’t dress in anything else.”
It just reflected her very conservative upbringing he thought. He wondered how wonderful it would be when a conservative woman like her start engaging in licentious sex. She certainly can’t do that with her husband. The social and moral restrictions she was brought up with will not allow her to express herself with her husband, but they need not prevail with her adulterous lover. That was what he aimed to find out.
“Meera, I think you will look beautiful in other clothes too but you can’t beat a saree to enhance a woman’s good looks when properly worn.”
Meera knew he meant such things as low hips, revealing a woman’s curves and belly and jackets that reveal arms, cleavage and much of the back. In the big cities, women may dress like that but not in small towns like hers. Besides she would feel very uncomfortable dressing up like that.
“Meera try leaving you hair loose like this. You don’t have to cut it shorter like this but you do what I say and then see Saravana’s reaction. He won’t leave you alone for a minute,” he laughed.
He was actually taking a lot of liberties talking with her like this but she too was allowing him to. Her hairs was always braided but now she wondered if she should try this. There was no harm in it after all.
He left after that after talking to her for some time. She thought of the way he had looked at her. Poor guy had such a pitiful yearning look she thought and laughed to herself. Never mind he will get cured of this as soon as he finds a wife for himself. Then he would be going around her like a kitten around the legs Till that time, even though she found it interesting and joyful talking to him. She considered it nothing more than passing time and she had no other intentions whatsoever.
Meera felt a bit sweaty. She had finished all her work and there was still almost an hour before her husband came home for lunch. Well better take a bath first she decided. As she was bathing, she washed her vagina as usual. She was surprised to find it was a bit sticky as she cleaned it. My god, how did this happen she was shocked. She had been aroused without realising it. Now that made her uneasy.
Meera was looking at the magazine in front of her as her thoughts came back to the present from the time over two and a half years ago. If only she knew then what she knew now. It is dangerous to spent time alone with another man, especially when that man can talk humorously and entertainingly to you.
As she served him lunch, she wondered whether she should inquire about Prabu’s father’s current health situation. Though she really did want the old man to recover her primary concern was to know about Prabu and his expected time of arrival. Only the talk about his father’s health condition could naturally lead to information about him too that she was eager to learn. What if he was to come here, how does that change anything she thought. He would be coming with his wife and he may not even want to come and see her. After all he had got everything he wanted of her. He had tasted every bit of her body. He had enjoyed her in every possible position that he fancied. She on her part had done things for him that she had not even done for her husband. What more is there for him. I have already fulfilled all his desires.
It’s not fair that I blame him only for having used me she thought. I was equally to blame. I did everything willingly as lust blinded me to great sin I was committing. I could have and should have stopped him. Even if the first time was excused as something done in a moment of weakness, I had plenty of time to ponder on my betrayal of the trust my loving husband had on me. I should have forbade him from ever seeing me when I was alone. (I couldn’t forbid him from ever coming to my house as that would have made my husband wonder why Prabu is not visiting him anymore.) But I became a slave to those forbidden pleasures that he was giving me. All the variety, the unaccustomed foreplay drowned me in exquisite sensuality that shattered my resistance. I still needed to see him to know why he did not at least explain his situation to me and simply left without any forewarning.
This question was what that greatly disturbed her. Some of the reasons she could think of for this happening brought a chill to her heart. However since nothing adverse had happened so far she believed there could be reasons that were not as bad as that she feared and she tried very hard not to think about. Anyway only Prabu could clear those doubts, she reasoned in her mind. That was the reason she needed to see him and not because she wanted to renew their adulterous relationship, she tried to convince herself.
“Any news on Prabu’s father’s health?” she asked slowly as she replenished his plate with some more vegetable that she had cooked.
“He is a fighter, he is hanging on and the doctors are amazed and pleased at his will power,” replied Saravanan.
“Oh, that’s good,” she replied showing no expression on her face.
Saravanan thought back to his visit to the hospital yesterday. Prabu’s mother had come to him crying. She pulled him to a corner and spoke to him with tears flowing down her cheeks.
“Forgive me my son, I know my husband had forbade Prabu ever to come back but with him in this condition I am trying to contact him to come back here and see his father one last time before he passes away,” she started sobbing more heavily after saying this.
Saravanan’s heart went out to see that old woman suffering like this. Not only she knew her husband was battling for his life, but their only son was unable to be with them in this most trying time for the family.
“That’s okay Ma, you don’t have to apologise. I am not so cruel to get angry for this but don’t lose hope, father will pull through. He has a strong will.”
Prabu’s mother looked at the kind face of the man who had been greatly wronged by her offspring. Which other man would have this much of sympathy for a family that had caused great distress and chaos to him and his family. Overcome with emotion she buried her face in his hands. Her tears wet his hands as she wept in gratitude. She slowly looked up at his face again.
“Prabu’s father had been so angry at what he had done that he had scolded him very harshly that day when he came back after meeting your wi…..” she couldn’t say the word as it hurt her still to think of that and it would again hurt Saravanan to be reminded of that day.
“His father is an honourable man and he was mortified that his son had behaved in such a disgusting and dishonourable manner.” She paused for a moment after saying this and then continued. “He banished his only son from his sight but after that he had become a broken man. His health started deteriorating slowly after that.”
Saravanan thought to himself Prabu’s deeds not only affected me but his family too. He had pushed his father to an earlier death than his father would have otherwise had.
“The reason why I am telling you this now is that even if his father did not want to see him again, now when he is fighting for his life, he keeps mumbling his name. He subconsciously wants to see his son. The doctors advised us to try and get him here. I think he is holding on to his life just because of that,” the old lady said her tears drying up for the moment.
He had come back home yesterday after spending quite some time, there in the hospital.
When Saravanan reached back to his shop after his lunch he was lost in his own thoughts. What will happen if Prabu does come back. He would surely not make any effort to meet Meera as he had promised. Last time he did that without any impunity because he was under the impression, I was unaware of his secret liaison with my wife but now he knows that’s not the case. Moreover, he had seemed genuinely remorseful for the havoc his actions had caused me and his family, and he would not want to break his promise. His wife would also be with him and at this grave time sex would hardly be in his mind.
What about me though pondered Saravanan. What am I going to do. I can see the difficulties Meera is suffering not being able to forget her affair. I was wrong, I thought Prabu’s absence would solve all the problems, but I can see I had been wrong in that assumption. I do not want a relationship that is uneasy or forced upon Meera. The question is, what does she want. More importantly knowing what she wants, what would I do about that. There was some vague thinking on my part but my thoughts were not crystalized yet.
Meera had a slow thoughtful lunch after her husband had left for work. Things are moving back to a greater confusing time and she was unsure how she would react or how she would handle it. She sat on the sofa and though of switching on the TV. At least let me immerse myself in something else for the time being she thought. That’s when she saw the film magazine on the table in front of her.
(A little more than 2 ½ years before)
Prabu walked in jauntily into the house. There was no sign of any limp from him.
“Couldn’t see you for the last two days, what happened?” Meera asked him with the bright smile on her face showing that she was pleased to see him.
Prabu was very happy internally on seeing that smile on her face. He had not come there on purpose. He wanted her to miss his visits. He must make her feel bored in the mornings without his presence.
“I had been forbidden to go anywhere by my mother. She got so scared after my little accident,” Prabu’s smile was equally bright.
“So how did you get away, sneaked away from home is it?”
“I am a good person not sneaky,” He said showing all his teeth in big smile. “Had to beg my mom to let me go out. Had to make all sorts of promises that I would be very careful on the bike anymore.”
“Yeah, yeah, very good boy.” She said that as if to tell him she knew how naughty he was.
He walked in and sat on the same long sofa she sat on. She noticed he did not sit on the single sofa chair like he usually did.
“You seemed to have recovered, I didn’t see any limp.”
“Yes, the ache was there only for a day. It was so boring at home. Moreover, I couldn’t even smoke to pass the time.”
He was reminding her that he was one who did not make empty promises and he had quit smoking as he had vowed to her. Meera still wanted to needle him.
“You could have always sneaked out to the back of your house to smoke,” she said with a mischievous smile on her face.
“Your kidding is it. I made you a promise didn’t I. How can I break any promises made to you.” She could not quite make out the look with which he was looking at her. Was it friendship, fondness or something more. The look created a disturbing feeling within her.
To break that mood Meera asked him,” what’s that in your hand?”
“Oh, this is just a film Magazine I bought today,” Prabu replied.
Meera perked up on hearing this,” really let me see that,” she asked excitedly.
She opened and started going through the magazine. She suddenly realised he had moved to sit close to her and was glancing at the pages along with her. Should she move or not. His presence so close to her disturbed her but in a pleasant manner. He reached out and opened a few pages before stopping at a particular page.
“Now, who does that remind you of,” he asked.
The page had a large picture of the actress Ambika. (She was a popular Tamil heroine in the eighties). She knew that he had commented earlier to her once that she had a great resemblance to that actress and that actress was his favourite heroine.
Meera purposely tried to play ignorance. “Who? I don’t know!!”
Prabu knew that she knew and that she was purposefully teasing him. Besides woman like to be told and hear for themselves someone else telling them how beautiful they are. Well if she wants to be coquettish than I can play that game too he decided.
“She looks exactly like Kavita.”
“What!! Kavita?? Who is that,” Meera asked dismayed.
“My neighbour two doors away from my house.”
“Oh, she is very attractive is it.” Prabu was amused to see the disappointment and even a little bit of jealousy on her face.
He was well aware she knew he was attracted to her, but she had taken that nonchalantly, as she was sure she would not be affected by it and also with a little pride that she was being admired by other men. Women are however competitive as far as beauty is concerned so even though in her mind she thought Prabu meant nothing to her it still upset her to know that he found someone else more attractive when all the while she was thinking it was her.
“Yes, for a 11 year old girl she is a beautiful child. Ambika must have looked like her at that age.”
The happy smile that suddenly blossomed on Meera’s face pleased Prabu very much. He was getting closer and closer to his goal. Even though his hands itched to grab her body now he knew it was too soon and would spoil his plans. A time will come soon when his arms would be wrapped around her body as will her arms around his. The thrill was in seducing a woman as beautiful as this who had no intention of being unfaithful to her husband. You can’t get the same excitement with a woman who is already willingly waiting to be involved in an affair.
“What?? She is only a 11 year old child?” Meera’s delight could be seen on her face. She did not realise she was so openly displaying her feelings to him.
“Yes, but I know of another person who I think is even more attractive than Ambika,” Prabu said his tone somewhat more seductive.
A smile still played on Meera’s face,” who,” she asked her voice too several octaves lower.
“The woman sitting beside me.”
Meera dared not to turn and look at Prabu. “Now, you are making fun of me. Look at her,” Meera said referring to the picture,” she is so beautiful.”
“That’s because of all the make-up. Even without that you look as good as her but if you were to make-up like that you would out beat her in beauty.”
All the praise was causing a thrill in her heart, but she nevertheless wasn’t going to show it.
“Something is wrong with your eyes, you better see a good eye doctor,” Meera teased him.
“My eyes are perfectly fine, only you are not aware how attractive you are. Surely Saravanan would have remarked to you that you look like Ambika.”
Those praises of her beauty were in the early years of marriage but not for some time now. Even then he had never remarked she looked like this actress.
“He is not much interested in movies. He only comes along when I want to see one.”
Prabu looked at the picture and looked at her several times. Seeing this Meera asked him,” Why are looking like that.”
“Don’t get angry but I was wondering how you would look in this type of modern dress.”
“Chee, don’t talk nonsense, she is an actress and must dress up like that. I am a housewife. I can’t wear those types of clothes.”
“Yeah, I understand. You would be the talk of this town if you ever dressed like that, but I have never seen you in anything than a Saree. Not even a churidar.”
“Oh no, when I was young, I used a half saree and now only sarees. Our family ladies don’t dress in anything else.”
It just reflected her very conservative upbringing he thought. He wondered how wonderful it would be when a conservative woman like her start engaging in licentious sex. She certainly can’t do that with her husband. The social and moral restrictions she was brought up with will not allow her to express herself with her husband, but they need not prevail with her adulterous lover. That was what he aimed to find out.
“Meera, I think you will look beautiful in other clothes too but you can’t beat a saree to enhance a woman’s good looks when properly worn.”
Meera knew he meant such things as low hips, revealing a woman’s curves and belly and jackets that reveal arms, cleavage and much of the back. In the big cities, women may dress like that but not in small towns like hers. Besides she would feel very uncomfortable dressing up like that.
“Meera try leaving you hair loose like this. You don’t have to cut it shorter like this but you do what I say and then see Saravana’s reaction. He won’t leave you alone for a minute,” he laughed.
He was actually taking a lot of liberties talking with her like this but she too was allowing him to. Her hairs was always braided but now she wondered if she should try this. There was no harm in it after all.
He left after that after talking to her for some time. She thought of the way he had looked at her. Poor guy had such a pitiful yearning look she thought and laughed to herself. Never mind he will get cured of this as soon as he finds a wife for himself. Then he would be going around her like a kitten around the legs Till that time, even though she found it interesting and joyful talking to him. She considered it nothing more than passing time and she had no other intentions whatsoever.
Meera felt a bit sweaty. She had finished all her work and there was still almost an hour before her husband came home for lunch. Well better take a bath first she decided. As she was bathing, she washed her vagina as usual. She was surprised to find it was a bit sticky as she cleaned it. My god, how did this happen she was shocked. She had been aroused without realising it. Now that made her uneasy.
Meera was looking at the magazine in front of her as her thoughts came back to the present from the time over two and a half years ago. If only she knew then what she knew now. It is dangerous to spent time alone with another man, especially when that man can talk humorously and entertainingly to you.
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