Adultery My wife, why did she betray me (completed)

[manas]

Earlier I have tried to characterise the protagonists. To understand the questions raised by you, we need to view from Meera POV. Meera does not have all the details what we have. Let’s put ourselves into the shoes of Meera.
Meera’s thinking will be similar to this:-

Initially:

Oh Prabhu. What have you done to me? I never knew sex can be so much enjoyable. I craved for you again and again. As a woman I like to spend my life with you. But as wife and mother? I love my husband and my kids. Oh God! What should I do? Till now nobody knows our affairs. It is a small town and people will come to know someday. I don’t want to meet Prabhu again. I don’t want to cheat my husband anymore. Whenever I face my husband, I feel pity of myself. I want end the relation with Prabhu. But how? I am not able to control myself. With Prabhu’s company I forget everything, every resolution is blown away. The pleasure he is giving! No, I can’t think more. What happened to me?

After Sravana discovered Prabhu- Meera while returning after tyre puncture.
I almost lost my heartbeat when my husband caught us together. Prabhu managed somehow. He was kissing and fondling me just before hand. It is a very narrow escape. Did my husband suspected anything. I don’t know. He such a nice person. He consoled me and what am I doing? I am cheating him behind his good heart. I need to stop this. I must not meet Prabhu outside at any cost.

After Saravana question for pink Jasmine.

My husband appears to be suspicious of me and Prabhu. I need to caution him not to visit me now. What a fool I am. I should not have wore the saree Prabhu gifted me. What to do? He was so adamant. I could see the satisfaction in his eyes. As if I am his wife. In a way I have become his wife. To tell truth, I am more than his wife. I have become his property now. I have surrendered myself to him willingly and whole heartedly. But why I am getting pain in cheating my husband. I must stop.

After Saravana discovered bank passbook of Prabhu.

Prabhu visited me after returning from Chennai. I got almost caught hiding. Somehow I managed by telling Prabhu came to meet him. Did he believe? I doubt. I have to caution Prabhu and we should be more careful in future.

After temple meet

I was unnecessarily worried. He does not suspect. He can never think badly of his wife. It is only my imagination. He does not suspect me. Hey God! You only know, how much I want to overcome my lust. Please help me.

After intimacy at Prabhu’s house:

Prabhu is incorrigible. He is mad for me. I almost lost my composure on his adventure. If somebody would have seen? I was losing control over me. Thank God! Nobody suspected. I could stop in time. True, I was enjoying his passion. He was so hard! I am getting wetted by thought of it. My whole body is longing for him. When will he be free to pleasure me with his beautiful manhood? I can’t stand anymore. He said will visit me immediately after wedding ceremony is over. How long things can continue this way?  Why I am not able to control myself?

***
After a long period we enjoyed each other. He is never satisfied.
My husband did not come for lunch today. He has arranged for a full time maid for house. Does he know our liaison? I really don’t know. Even, if he is aware, he will never tell me. He has never scolded me for anything, he loves me so much. It’s bless in disguise. At least now I am forced to control myself. My family is saved. My kids.

***
Prabhu can’t meet me in my house. He is phoning me every day to meet outside. We can’t continue our relationship. Yes, I am also missing him a lot, his kinkiness, his passionate lovemaking. But I can’t sacrifice my family for physical pleasure. My poor husband. I only I have made him poor. He does not deserve this. His love, his reputation, I did not care for anything for my temporary pleasure. I must not meet him.

***
Today he made love to me in open. I agreed to meet him only to talk. But things changed. I had option to retreat but lust overtook my conscience. He dominated me overcoming my freak unwillingness. I helped him to dominate me completely.  One side I wanted to stop for my husband. Other side craved for heavenly pleasure. I can’t stop this. I feel miserable. Only death can give me piece.

***
I have tried to contact Prabhu, but his phone is dead. Even he also did not contact me. What happened to him? I am worried. Should I ask my husband? No no I should not. He will suspect me.

***
Pravbhu has left country after marriage. He did not tell me anything. He has broken my trust. It’s not that he wanted to marry me. Not that I would have married him leaving my family. We shared so intimate moments together sharing almost everything. Every time he said he is not thinking for marriage at this point. I presumed he will propose me some day. After all, we were almost like husband-wife. I would not have agreed to his suggestion. Still how could he hide such important decision of his life? I was not going to be hindrance to this. He definitely did not trust me. I feel like being cheated. He befriended with me for sex, for his pleasure only. It was already in his mind, he will dump me after his satisfaction. For him I was nothing but sex object. I was not first woman in his life. I am such a great idiot. I cheated my husband. I almost sacrificed my family and life for such a rogue.

But why did he not inform me? At least after marriage? I must know the truth.
Does my husband know about this? He never told me anything. I have avoided discussion about Prabhu deliberately for just not to be caught. Prabhu was his close friend, he got married and was not informed. Seems like impossible. Does he came to know our liaison and forced Prabhu leave. I don’t know. I must find out.

Against my inquiry, “Who knows what his difficulties were,” was his answer.
I have no courage to ask more. I myself have lost all moral right. It appears, he does not have any idea of my adultery. I am saved. My family is saved. I was ruining myself, my family everything for Prabhu. I should have been punished for my treachery.

***
Two years passed, Prabhu left. I have not got any news of him. As if he does not exists. My guilty feelings diminished a lot over time. Only sometimes his memory haunts me in my subconscious mind; especially when I am a bit free. Even today I get excited, just merely by thinking our short blissful relationship. I know there was no future in our relationship. It was only sex. I can’t deny, I also enjoyed a lot. The variety, the kinkiness, the thrill. I would have never knew, sex could be so pleasurable and enjoyable, had Prabhu not intervened in my life. Do I want him still? Not at all. Over the year I have become matured. My husband loves me a lot for no return. I also love him. Now I understand greater prospect of life. My husband, my children, their future. Prabhu can’t be a replacement of my husband. I have no right to destroy reputation of my husband. , my children will never be able to raise their head. By thinking itself I am feeling pity of myself. A rogue, a cheater can’t dictate life of honest, good hearted people. Prabhu is cheater. He has not only broken the trust of me, but also for my husband. He has misused the definition of friendship. Prabhu was a thrill, increases thirst, full of unhappiness and anxiety. .

In temple, Pink jasmine reminded me of Prabhu’s adventure again. After a long I had visited Prabhu’s house to see ailing Prabhu-Dad. My memory sharpened again seeing the abandoned house. The long unsatisfied sexual extravaganza filled my memory again. It’s not that I was completely unhappy to remember. I was not happy either. The memories made me excited. I want to be loved. My body is craving for rough sex. Oh! Prabhu what have done to me? I long for hard sex. I hate you from the deepest of my heart. Still I adorn you. But my craze for sexuality! It seems it is never ending. You have woken up a beast in me. Have I become nymphomaniac? I had to resort to other ways to satisfy me

***
I am back in my bedroom. The sexual arousal of my body is diminished. I looked at husband. How peacefully he is sleeping. No dirt is touching him. He is not even aware that his unfaithful wife was cherishing her blissful sexual liaison with another man right sleeping beside him. I deeply searched in my conscience memory. I failed to understand, how Prabhu could torment me in my unconscious memory. 

With right frame of mind and body, I gave a deep look at recent incidents.
It appeared, no no I am sure,  I am not welcome in their house. Prabhu Mom clearly declared that Prabhu is also not welcome in their house. Means he has been banned from house. Why has he been banned?  Is there any connection of his ban with me?  Does Prabhu-Dad, Prabhu-Mom know about Prabhu’s liaison with me? Does my husband also know?

I tried to recollect the incidents.

I was caught red handed by my husband in the field near to Prabhu’s house gossiping intimately with Prabhu.

My husband questioned about my inclination towards pink jasmine.

He caught me hiding Prabhu visiting our house in his absence, when he found bank passbook.

The very day, Immediately after Pappu’s marriage, Prabhu made love to me, in this house, on the same bed; my husband did not come for lunch. Not only that, he made arrangement for full time maid.

Does it means that he kept a watch on us and acted accordingly, to stop our adultery? He could have confronted me, thrashed me, and thrown me out of his life as well as this house. In all probability, I could have committed suicide. My husband cared for me so much that, he kept everything under secret. He even controlled his emotions in such a way, that I am not disturbed. He absorbed all pain and agony himself.

In return, what I did? Without understanding I met Prabhu again outside and made love in open. He may have witnessed the sane. Prabhu-Mom, Prabhu-Dad appears to know the same. Otherwise, why will they ban their only child to visit them? They are not willing to see their son, even when Prabhu-Dad is on his death bed. Oh my God! How many people may have knowledge about our liaison? I am only responsible for this. Prabhu’s parents are suffering only because of me. Its true Prabhu seduced me, had taken the advantage of my husband’s good nature and friendship. That does not absolve me of my responsibility. I only purposefully helped Prabhu to seduce me. What for? Only physical pleasure? For my temporary happiness, I made so many people unhappy.

Prabbhu is also equally responsible, if not more. Even with whatever all happened, why he did not inform me? He put me in shame and enjoying his life. Does he know, how pathetic I have become? I am ashamed showing my face to my husband. He must be thinking what kind of treacherous shameless woman I am? I feel like committing suicide. I have to. But I must know the truth. I must know why he did not tell me the truth.

Should I approach Prabhu’s parents? No Not possible.

Then Prabhu? Even if I can contact him, whats the guarantee he will tell the truth? Thee an who could encash on my weakness to fulfil his lust, who could exploit his friends friendship, he can’t be trusted.
Then……..

I looked at my husband. Yes. I have nothing t hide from him. I must confess him. I know from inner depth of my heart, he will never lie to me. Anyway I have to die. There is no other option left to me. I deserve this. But I must know the truth. Yes.

I looked at his peaceful face again. I can’t even ask for his forgiveness. But I know he has forgiven his unfaithful wife. Then why this dilemma?

I mentally prepared myself to confront my husband. I have to wait till he gets up. It is long but sweet wait. It felt good…….