19-12-2019, 11:28 AM
Chapter 9: Days under Sun, Night under Stars
----------------------------------------------------
Month of June was coming to an end. On that night before dinner I informed to my parents that I had few interviews to attend. I badly needed a job to get out of that turmoil of the house and the constant humiliation from my parents. Most of my teenage years, I had to hear that they have spent a lot of money on my studies but I had not fare well.
After dinner I was watching TV in the drawing room, Paree came in to give me milk.
She asked me ---“Where are you going to attend the interview?”
---“Few places I had submitted my CV. Got call from PWC and NIIT and few others. Tomorrow I would be going to Camac Street NIIT for interview. Let’s see what happens.”
She came near and sat on the couch beside me and ruffled my hair ---“I am sure you will get some job. But before joining you need to be a graduate so you need to wait for the results, dear.”
I looked at her and said ---“No, I will do anything I get in my way. I just have to get some job.”
---“Be patient, why are you being so restless? Only two months left for your results, then attend any interviews. Now no one will give you any job.”
She was right; I was not a graduate then, who would give me a job.
She smiled at me ---“Want to go out tomorrow, just like that? You and me, on the streets of Kolkata? You have not yet shown me your city properly.”
I gave a failed simile to her ---“It is not my city. I have been out of this city for a long, long time. I don’t feel this city as my home.”
---“Ok, let that be. I will go with you tomorrow for your interview and then we will go somewhere. Ok now? Goto sleep.”
---“You can’t come with me."
“Why?” she asked.
---“I am already tensed about my interview and your presence would make me more tense. Do one thing you board a taxi tomorrow and be at Nandan by three o’clock we will go for a movie there. Steven Spielberg “Schindler’s List”. It is an Oscar winning movie.”
---“WHAT, I don’t understand English movies. I don’t even like them. If you take me to Hindi or Bengali movies then I can go.”
Just then we heard mom, shouting form her bed room ---“Paree go to bed.”
I walked out of the room for sleeping in second floor.
______________________________
Before I went away, I said to her ---“I will be waiting. It is up to you whether you are coming or not.”
Next day, I waited for about an hour at Nandan for Paree. But she did not come. My frustration was boiling to the highest level, but at the same time I had deep anxiety that Paree was new to this city, some worst should not happen with her, else’s my mom would kill me.
Last of all I thought to call home to check up with Paree, whether she has started or she was in danger.
She picked up the phone; on sensing that she was still at home I was enraged.
I screamed at her ---“What the hell you are doing at home? Didn’t I asked you to come to Nandan and you are still at home?”
Her voice was also annoyed ---“Don’t scream at me like that.”
---“You could have told me in the morning that you won’t be coming. I would not have waited for you so long in the sun here.”
---“Who told you to wait? Did I? I already told you that if it was a Hindi or Bengali movie then I could watch.”
---“Means? I was waiting for you and now you are telling me that you already told me that you won’t be coming?”
---“I already told you so don’t scream at me. Keep the phone.”
---“I will be waiting for you for one hour more. Just take a taxi and come to Nandan.”
“Are you commanding me to goto movie? I won’t be coming. Do whatever you wish.” saying that she kept the phone.
I knew by her last sentence that she was not going to come.
I loitered on the roads for some time and then straight away went to Globe cinema to see a movie. It was screening “Bad Girls” casted by Madeleine Stowe, Drew Barrymore and Andie MacDowell. I could not enjoy the movie as my head was burning in rage. I just kept my eyes glued on the screen as a pair glass balls.
I returned home only after sundown, after dad reached home. I saw Paree was gloom and she was not talking to me properly.
I sat at the drawing room reading newspaper. She came in and put the teacup with a thud on the centre table. Her face was saying that she was not at all happy with my actions. I looked at her; she didn’t even bother to look at me and just went away in the kitchen.
In some pretext I went to the kitchen for a glass of water.
I asked her ---“Why are you not talking to me?”
She looked at me over her shoulder as her back was facing me. She was chopping some vegetables and was preparing the dinner. She winched her eyes as if asking me “What do you want?”
I looked at her from top to bottom, slapped my head “How could I make my sweet nightingale to angry?”
I was about to touch her narrow waist, just then my dad called me.
---“How was your interview?”
I mumbled and answered ---“Interview was ok.”
---“Where did you go?”
---“NIIT, camac street.”
---“Why don’t you apply for Banking Services or prepare for WBCS and ICS and all? Try to get a govt job.”
“Hmmm” I thought, trying to get a govt job.
Paree gave a queer look at me as if asking “Why are you standing like that? Go away.”
Dad continued from his room ---“You won’t listen to us anytime in your life. We spend so much on you to get admission in good school and then you could not fare well in the IIT’s and JEES. You did not fare well in your class twelve exams also. What do you do? Don’t you want to study? You know very well that how we had toiled for you admission in college.”
“Oh! No” now it has started raining cats and dogs on me.
Mom returned from her school and found that dad was scolding me.
She looked at me and asked that how was my interview.
I told her that my interview was so so, they wanted to come back only after my results.
I was still at the doorway of the kitchen, listening as mom and dad started hurling their scorns at me.
______________________________
I was unable to bear all those, that day was not mine. First of all the interview was not well, then Paree didn’t showed up at Nandan and then both my parents were howling at me. They tried to make me feel that they had lost all their faith on me and all their money was poured in water.
I shouted at them ---“Just let me be alone. I am going.”
I walked out of the kitchen and went away to my room.
The west sky was being overcast with rain clouds. Same situation was happening inside my chest.
I took out and old wooden box, once a friend gifted to me when I was in hostel. It was a small box filled up with glass marbles. I looked at those marbles and splattered those on my bed. I put off the lights and just lied down on those splattered marbles kept my face buried in the pillow. I tried to get that life back. I knew that the time has long gone; now those days won’t come back to me.
During dinner, mom came to ask whether I would like to have my dinner or not. I was so much depressed that I said to her that I won’t have dinner. That night I slept without having food, Paree did not come with food nor did mom asked me for the second time.
Next morning I woke up late. I found it was raining cats and dogs outside.
By that time both my parents must have gone to their work place, it was only me and Paree in the house. She was offended with me since the other day. I came downstairs to look for Paree as what she was doing. I found her that she was sitting on her bed looking outside the window and observing the raindrops falling on the trees.
My house has a quiet big compound and dad planted many trees around the house. I looked at her gloomy face.
She sat on the bed, with her legs folded near her chest and her arms locked around her legs. Her chin rested on her knees. Eyes were filled up with some unknown pain. I stood silently behind her at the side of the bed and looked at her gloom face from side. She was so much engrossed in her thoughts that she was unable to sense my presence.
I crawled near her and nudged her by her shoulder. She trembled and looked at me. Those pair of eye, deluged to the brim, waiting for her pearls to get spilled. The tip of her nose was reddish; eyelashes were soaked with her tears.
I asked her ---“What happened?”
She nodded her head “Nothing”.
---“Then why are you sitting like that?”
She nodded her head again “Just like that.” She looked down to her feet. Small cream feet; small round toes.
I touched her both shoulder with, drop of tear rolled down over her cheeks and soaked the dress of her knees.
She sobbed out ---“You all are selfish. Everyone around me is selfish.”
I tried to push her chin up, but she strained her face.
I tried to persuade her as to tell me as what has happened.
Paree looked the other way again outside the window.
---“When I was a child, I had to wear the old clothes of Chandrani Di. I had to read her books. I didn’t get new books for me, no new shoes. Nothing. Every time I asked mom to get me new dress, she used to look the other way. I grew older; my eldest sister-in-law came to our house. She gave me new dress during the puja’s and all. Indrani Di and Chandrani Di got married at a young age. They used to bear most of the expanses of the house as Sumanto Da was only a farmer, and other two brothers were not earning yet. Everyone tried to impose their thoughts on me.”
Pearls were dropping from her lotus eyes. Painful big pearl drops rolling down her rosy cheeks. I kept my right hand on her head and rubbed her hair. She held my wrist and pushed away my hand without looking at me.
---“I grew older. My sisters sensed that I should get married after my class twelve only. Mom and Sumanto Da opposed to that. Indrani Di wanted to fix my marriage with her brother-in-law. Shasanko Da opposed and I carried on with my studies. No one asked my opinion these entire long. They all are selfish. Shasanko Da also tried to fix my marriage after my graduation with Meghna’s cousin brother. I sat idle for one year; none was willing to pay for my future studies.”
She looked at me and yelled ---“What am I? Am I a doll in their hands?”
I lost my words on hearing her words. So much of pain in those beautiful eyes? Although eldest aunt told me that Paree has hidden thousands of pain behind her beautiful smile, but then I didn’t thought that those pain would be something like that.
______________________________
I took her face between my palms and wiped her rolling down pearls with my thumbs.
Her look was more painful ---“ChotoMa was called and you came in my life. I don’t like the way you shout at me. Now you try to impose that I have to go and watch movies with you which I don’t understand. Who am I? Am I a wooden doll in all your hands? I had to obey orders from my sisters in my childhood, in my youth I had to obey my brothers and now I had to obey you? I do have a heart beating inside my chest Abhi?”
I pulled her face and touched my forehead on hers.
---“I am sorry. Forgive me please. I didn’t know all these.”
She removed my hands from her face and pushed me ---“So you mean to say that if you knew then you would not have done? Did you ever think that what was going inside me when I went with you to those unknown, thousands of miles away? Did you ever think what happened in my heart when I came to know that you were going out with Arunima? You haven’t thought what would happen to me. You just carried on. You all are selfish.”
I let out a deep exhale from my chest ---“Arunima was a mistake in my life, Paree. Why are you talking about those past?”
She screamed at me ---“Mistake? Ohh!!! Males do mistake and they say that it was a male chauvinism and we females do mistake they are entitled with bitter curses? Why this discrimination?”
I pulled her face on my chest ---“Paree, please I am sorry. Please. I promise not to hurt you again. Never. I will keep you out of all these turmoil; I will protect you with my arms.”
She clutched my vest and broke down.
I rubbed her back ---“Come one, please don’t cry. Smile now. See I won’t ask you to wear jeans or I won’t ask you to accompany me to somewhere you don’t like.”
She smiled back at me, wiping her eyes ---“Who told you that I don’t like to wear jeans? I wore that for you, right?”
---“Yeah so my honey is smiling again. Come on so what have you cooked for lunch?”
She pushed me playfully on the bed ---“I haven’t cooked anything yet. After everyone went, I just sat here looking outside those trees. I felt that how alone I was in this world.”
I pulled her by her wrist and she fell on me ---“Who the hell told you that you are alone? I am here for you.”
I wrapped my arms around her narrow waist and locked her in my deep embrace. She folded her arms on my chest and rested her chin on back of her fist and looked deeply in my eyes. Big black lotus shaped eyes, twinkling with tears and loving smile. Long black eye lashes deluged yet.
I winked at her and asked ---“Want to go for a movie?”
She slapped playfully on my chest ---“Not again you rascal. Let me get up and cook the lunch.”
Paree kissed my chest and got up and went away to the kitchen.
It was still raining outside. I looked to those green leaves drenched in rainwater. Few sparrows chirped on the sunshade and shook their feathers to get rid of the water. I rubbed my chest where Paree just then slapped. I felt her touch of her slim fingers still lingered on my coarse muscular chest.
“Come up you lazy bones. Lunch is ready.” She shouted from the dining room.
“I have not taken my bath yet, baby” I came to the dining room and found that she was arranging the table.
She came near me and kicked on my behind ---“Just go away and take your bath quickly.”
I rubbed my butt ---“Ouch! This is not good. Next time I will not kick yours but I will bite those luscious mounds.”
She giggled and pushed me inside the bathroom.
My EVE was happy again.
As per my dad’s order I had to collect the forms for Banking Exams and other govt related exams. The sky was cloudy. I was about to leave the house after breakfast when Paree said that she also wanted to some with me.
I told her “Paree, the rain could come anytime. So why don’t you be at home, I will return within few hours only?”
She said with a gloomy face ---“For the whole day I had to be alone in the house. Doing nothing, nowhere to go. What will happen if I come with you? I have not been to College Street yet? ”
“Ok baba, now get ready quickly and come” I slapped her cheeks playfully and said to her.
She came out of her room after sometime. Dressed to kill.
She wore a dark blue long skirt. Tight till the end of her luscious bottoms and then unfurling in long plates down till her ankles. There were several small light blue flowers all over the skirt and on the border there were a series of white elephants and flowers.
______________________________
----------------------------------------------------
Month of June was coming to an end. On that night before dinner I informed to my parents that I had few interviews to attend. I badly needed a job to get out of that turmoil of the house and the constant humiliation from my parents. Most of my teenage years, I had to hear that they have spent a lot of money on my studies but I had not fare well.
After dinner I was watching TV in the drawing room, Paree came in to give me milk.
She asked me ---“Where are you going to attend the interview?”
---“Few places I had submitted my CV. Got call from PWC and NIIT and few others. Tomorrow I would be going to Camac Street NIIT for interview. Let’s see what happens.”
She came near and sat on the couch beside me and ruffled my hair ---“I am sure you will get some job. But before joining you need to be a graduate so you need to wait for the results, dear.”
I looked at her and said ---“No, I will do anything I get in my way. I just have to get some job.”
---“Be patient, why are you being so restless? Only two months left for your results, then attend any interviews. Now no one will give you any job.”
She was right; I was not a graduate then, who would give me a job.
She smiled at me ---“Want to go out tomorrow, just like that? You and me, on the streets of Kolkata? You have not yet shown me your city properly.”
I gave a failed simile to her ---“It is not my city. I have been out of this city for a long, long time. I don’t feel this city as my home.”
---“Ok, let that be. I will go with you tomorrow for your interview and then we will go somewhere. Ok now? Goto sleep.”
---“You can’t come with me."
“Why?” she asked.
---“I am already tensed about my interview and your presence would make me more tense. Do one thing you board a taxi tomorrow and be at Nandan by three o’clock we will go for a movie there. Steven Spielberg “Schindler’s List”. It is an Oscar winning movie.”
---“WHAT, I don’t understand English movies. I don’t even like them. If you take me to Hindi or Bengali movies then I can go.”
Just then we heard mom, shouting form her bed room ---“Paree go to bed.”
I walked out of the room for sleeping in second floor.
______________________________
Before I went away, I said to her ---“I will be waiting. It is up to you whether you are coming or not.”
Next day, I waited for about an hour at Nandan for Paree. But she did not come. My frustration was boiling to the highest level, but at the same time I had deep anxiety that Paree was new to this city, some worst should not happen with her, else’s my mom would kill me.
Last of all I thought to call home to check up with Paree, whether she has started or she was in danger.
She picked up the phone; on sensing that she was still at home I was enraged.
I screamed at her ---“What the hell you are doing at home? Didn’t I asked you to come to Nandan and you are still at home?”
Her voice was also annoyed ---“Don’t scream at me like that.”
---“You could have told me in the morning that you won’t be coming. I would not have waited for you so long in the sun here.”
---“Who told you to wait? Did I? I already told you that if it was a Hindi or Bengali movie then I could watch.”
---“Means? I was waiting for you and now you are telling me that you already told me that you won’t be coming?”
---“I already told you so don’t scream at me. Keep the phone.”
---“I will be waiting for you for one hour more. Just take a taxi and come to Nandan.”
“Are you commanding me to goto movie? I won’t be coming. Do whatever you wish.” saying that she kept the phone.
I knew by her last sentence that she was not going to come.
I loitered on the roads for some time and then straight away went to Globe cinema to see a movie. It was screening “Bad Girls” casted by Madeleine Stowe, Drew Barrymore and Andie MacDowell. I could not enjoy the movie as my head was burning in rage. I just kept my eyes glued on the screen as a pair glass balls.
I returned home only after sundown, after dad reached home. I saw Paree was gloom and she was not talking to me properly.
I sat at the drawing room reading newspaper. She came in and put the teacup with a thud on the centre table. Her face was saying that she was not at all happy with my actions. I looked at her; she didn’t even bother to look at me and just went away in the kitchen.
In some pretext I went to the kitchen for a glass of water.
I asked her ---“Why are you not talking to me?”
She looked at me over her shoulder as her back was facing me. She was chopping some vegetables and was preparing the dinner. She winched her eyes as if asking me “What do you want?”
I looked at her from top to bottom, slapped my head “How could I make my sweet nightingale to angry?”
I was about to touch her narrow waist, just then my dad called me.
---“How was your interview?”
I mumbled and answered ---“Interview was ok.”
---“Where did you go?”
---“NIIT, camac street.”
---“Why don’t you apply for Banking Services or prepare for WBCS and ICS and all? Try to get a govt job.”
“Hmmm” I thought, trying to get a govt job.
Paree gave a queer look at me as if asking “Why are you standing like that? Go away.”
Dad continued from his room ---“You won’t listen to us anytime in your life. We spend so much on you to get admission in good school and then you could not fare well in the IIT’s and JEES. You did not fare well in your class twelve exams also. What do you do? Don’t you want to study? You know very well that how we had toiled for you admission in college.”
“Oh! No” now it has started raining cats and dogs on me.
Mom returned from her school and found that dad was scolding me.
She looked at me and asked that how was my interview.
I told her that my interview was so so, they wanted to come back only after my results.
I was still at the doorway of the kitchen, listening as mom and dad started hurling their scorns at me.
______________________________
I was unable to bear all those, that day was not mine. First of all the interview was not well, then Paree didn’t showed up at Nandan and then both my parents were howling at me. They tried to make me feel that they had lost all their faith on me and all their money was poured in water.
I shouted at them ---“Just let me be alone. I am going.”
I walked out of the kitchen and went away to my room.
The west sky was being overcast with rain clouds. Same situation was happening inside my chest.
I took out and old wooden box, once a friend gifted to me when I was in hostel. It was a small box filled up with glass marbles. I looked at those marbles and splattered those on my bed. I put off the lights and just lied down on those splattered marbles kept my face buried in the pillow. I tried to get that life back. I knew that the time has long gone; now those days won’t come back to me.
During dinner, mom came to ask whether I would like to have my dinner or not. I was so much depressed that I said to her that I won’t have dinner. That night I slept without having food, Paree did not come with food nor did mom asked me for the second time.
Next morning I woke up late. I found it was raining cats and dogs outside.
By that time both my parents must have gone to their work place, it was only me and Paree in the house. She was offended with me since the other day. I came downstairs to look for Paree as what she was doing. I found her that she was sitting on her bed looking outside the window and observing the raindrops falling on the trees.
My house has a quiet big compound and dad planted many trees around the house. I looked at her gloomy face.
She sat on the bed, with her legs folded near her chest and her arms locked around her legs. Her chin rested on her knees. Eyes were filled up with some unknown pain. I stood silently behind her at the side of the bed and looked at her gloom face from side. She was so much engrossed in her thoughts that she was unable to sense my presence.
I crawled near her and nudged her by her shoulder. She trembled and looked at me. Those pair of eye, deluged to the brim, waiting for her pearls to get spilled. The tip of her nose was reddish; eyelashes were soaked with her tears.
I asked her ---“What happened?”
She nodded her head “Nothing”.
---“Then why are you sitting like that?”
She nodded her head again “Just like that.” She looked down to her feet. Small cream feet; small round toes.
I touched her both shoulder with, drop of tear rolled down over her cheeks and soaked the dress of her knees.
She sobbed out ---“You all are selfish. Everyone around me is selfish.”
I tried to push her chin up, but she strained her face.
I tried to persuade her as to tell me as what has happened.
Paree looked the other way again outside the window.
---“When I was a child, I had to wear the old clothes of Chandrani Di. I had to read her books. I didn’t get new books for me, no new shoes. Nothing. Every time I asked mom to get me new dress, she used to look the other way. I grew older; my eldest sister-in-law came to our house. She gave me new dress during the puja’s and all. Indrani Di and Chandrani Di got married at a young age. They used to bear most of the expanses of the house as Sumanto Da was only a farmer, and other two brothers were not earning yet. Everyone tried to impose their thoughts on me.”
Pearls were dropping from her lotus eyes. Painful big pearl drops rolling down her rosy cheeks. I kept my right hand on her head and rubbed her hair. She held my wrist and pushed away my hand without looking at me.
---“I grew older. My sisters sensed that I should get married after my class twelve only. Mom and Sumanto Da opposed to that. Indrani Di wanted to fix my marriage with her brother-in-law. Shasanko Da opposed and I carried on with my studies. No one asked my opinion these entire long. They all are selfish. Shasanko Da also tried to fix my marriage after my graduation with Meghna’s cousin brother. I sat idle for one year; none was willing to pay for my future studies.”
She looked at me and yelled ---“What am I? Am I a doll in their hands?”
I lost my words on hearing her words. So much of pain in those beautiful eyes? Although eldest aunt told me that Paree has hidden thousands of pain behind her beautiful smile, but then I didn’t thought that those pain would be something like that.
______________________________
I took her face between my palms and wiped her rolling down pearls with my thumbs.
Her look was more painful ---“ChotoMa was called and you came in my life. I don’t like the way you shout at me. Now you try to impose that I have to go and watch movies with you which I don’t understand. Who am I? Am I a wooden doll in all your hands? I had to obey orders from my sisters in my childhood, in my youth I had to obey my brothers and now I had to obey you? I do have a heart beating inside my chest Abhi?”
I pulled her face and touched my forehead on hers.
---“I am sorry. Forgive me please. I didn’t know all these.”
She removed my hands from her face and pushed me ---“So you mean to say that if you knew then you would not have done? Did you ever think that what was going inside me when I went with you to those unknown, thousands of miles away? Did you ever think what happened in my heart when I came to know that you were going out with Arunima? You haven’t thought what would happen to me. You just carried on. You all are selfish.”
I let out a deep exhale from my chest ---“Arunima was a mistake in my life, Paree. Why are you talking about those past?”
She screamed at me ---“Mistake? Ohh!!! Males do mistake and they say that it was a male chauvinism and we females do mistake they are entitled with bitter curses? Why this discrimination?”
I pulled her face on my chest ---“Paree, please I am sorry. Please. I promise not to hurt you again. Never. I will keep you out of all these turmoil; I will protect you with my arms.”
She clutched my vest and broke down.
I rubbed her back ---“Come one, please don’t cry. Smile now. See I won’t ask you to wear jeans or I won’t ask you to accompany me to somewhere you don’t like.”
She smiled back at me, wiping her eyes ---“Who told you that I don’t like to wear jeans? I wore that for you, right?”
---“Yeah so my honey is smiling again. Come on so what have you cooked for lunch?”
She pushed me playfully on the bed ---“I haven’t cooked anything yet. After everyone went, I just sat here looking outside those trees. I felt that how alone I was in this world.”
I pulled her by her wrist and she fell on me ---“Who the hell told you that you are alone? I am here for you.”
I wrapped my arms around her narrow waist and locked her in my deep embrace. She folded her arms on my chest and rested her chin on back of her fist and looked deeply in my eyes. Big black lotus shaped eyes, twinkling with tears and loving smile. Long black eye lashes deluged yet.
I winked at her and asked ---“Want to go for a movie?”
She slapped playfully on my chest ---“Not again you rascal. Let me get up and cook the lunch.”
Paree kissed my chest and got up and went away to the kitchen.
It was still raining outside. I looked to those green leaves drenched in rainwater. Few sparrows chirped on the sunshade and shook their feathers to get rid of the water. I rubbed my chest where Paree just then slapped. I felt her touch of her slim fingers still lingered on my coarse muscular chest.
“Come up you lazy bones. Lunch is ready.” She shouted from the dining room.
“I have not taken my bath yet, baby” I came to the dining room and found that she was arranging the table.
She came near me and kicked on my behind ---“Just go away and take your bath quickly.”
I rubbed my butt ---“Ouch! This is not good. Next time I will not kick yours but I will bite those luscious mounds.”
She giggled and pushed me inside the bathroom.
My EVE was happy again.
As per my dad’s order I had to collect the forms for Banking Exams and other govt related exams. The sky was cloudy. I was about to leave the house after breakfast when Paree said that she also wanted to some with me.
I told her “Paree, the rain could come anytime. So why don’t you be at home, I will return within few hours only?”
She said with a gloomy face ---“For the whole day I had to be alone in the house. Doing nothing, nowhere to go. What will happen if I come with you? I have not been to College Street yet? ”
“Ok baba, now get ready quickly and come” I slapped her cheeks playfully and said to her.
She came out of her room after sometime. Dressed to kill.
She wore a dark blue long skirt. Tight till the end of her luscious bottoms and then unfurling in long plates down till her ankles. There were several small light blue flowers all over the skirt and on the border there were a series of white elephants and flowers.
______________________________
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