Chapter 5: Sorrow and happiness.
--------------------------------------
I got down from bus, Mom took me to a side, my heart thumped very fast, anticipating that she had sensed our closeness and was going to give me a good beat down.
Instead my mom said to me that every one of groom’s house would be having their dinner by 11o’clock and then leave. She asked me what was my intention, whether to stay or to go with others.
I said that I would be staying; I wanted to enjoy the marriage till end.
“OK” said mom and she gave me permission to stay.
So again, as the groom’s party arrived there was all chaos all over the place of the bride.
Paree was again lost somewhere in the midst of the huge crowd.
I sat there at the marriage venue with the groom, Subroto.
The Brahmins were performing all rituals. I had nothing to do except idle sitting.
At times I saw Paree roaming all over the place busy in doing nothing. She was definitely having a great time.
Once she came to me my heart started to beat louder ---“Hey, why are you sitting like a duck over here. Come with me.”
While she talked to me she did not looked at me. And I was also not looking at her.
---“Err no, it is better here. Lots of ladies are always with you. I feel bit uncomfortable surrounded by ladies.”
Paree ---“Ummm….. Ok then sit. But don’t forget to have your dinner. Everyone is going to leave after dinner, only few friends of Subroto Dada are going to stay.”
I told her that I have got permission from my mom that I will be staying.
She looked at me inquisitively ---“Do you mean to say that I should also stay?”
---“Depends upon you.” I laughed out.
Paree, bit angrily---“Ok, you will come to know what I can do?” and she went away.
Groom’s party finished their dinner. Every one of my relatives were about to leave.
Paree was adamant about staying with the groom.
My mom tried to persuade her ---“Paree, no ladies are going to stay, how can you stay here. What will your mom think?”
Paree playfully embraced my mom ---“You also treated me as your daughter once, so in that sense you are also like my mom, so just give me permission to stay. Please please please.”
On hearing her pleas, my mom called me ---“Hey, you, take care of her she is going to stay here all night and look after her else you will be in trouble.”
Inside my mind I was laughing very loudly, but with a very obedient look on my face I nodded and confirmed them that I would look after Paree.
Paree winked at me. She kissed my mom’s cheeks ---“My good Didi Mom, thank you very much. I will not be a naughty girl now.”
We bid adieu to the groom’s party.
Paree then again went away somewhere. I saw Paree running down to the ritual place with my shawl around her.
______________________________
From behind, her twin fleshy bottoms, swayed beautifully in front of my eyes. I felt the urge to touch those soft mushy mounds and kiss those.
As the night grew older, the crowd got thinner. People from bride’s house were also leaving. From groom’s party, there were only five persons present, two of Subroto’s friends, eldest brother and
Paree and myself.
The main ritual was about to start and it was already 12 o’clock in dead night. Paree stood by my side, close enough that our arms were touching each other’s. Paree’s fingers sometimes
brushing on my mine sending electrical pulses on my arms. We were avoiding to look into each other’s eyes, by looking straight to the fire of the ritual.
One lady came to Paree and asked whether she needs to retire somewhere for some forty winks. She nodded her head negatively.
I requested Paree to take a brisk walk with me, which she obediently accepted.
We were walking down the lonely dark road. Paree wrapped my shawl closely over her body to get bit of warmth. Her arms folded across her chest as she walked close to me. She was looking
down at her feet. Both of us were silent. I thought someone should break the ice.
So I muttered some strength in my voice ---“Paree, what happened, why you are not saying anything?”
Paree --- “So you think that nothing has happened? Do you?” Her voice trembled a bit.
---“What have I done?”
Paree --- “So you want to say you have done nothing? Lightning stroked me, do you know? I could not get up from that seat for quite some time.”
---“I just felt some urge deep inside my heart, to express something. That’s all.”
Paree was still looking at her feet, walking slowly ---“Everything went black in front of my eyes. The sensation, it happened to me like a lightening thunder.”
I stopped in the middle of the road, touched Paree’s shoulders and stood in front of her. I looked down at her, placed my right index finger on her chin and slowly pushed her face up. Her eyes
were closed, lips shaking in some forbidden anticipation. Her long eyelashes adorned her beautiful eyelids. She still had her arms folded across her chest clasping my shawl around her tightly. I
slowly bent down, brought my face near to her. I could feel her warm breath; I could even hear her heart thumping louder inside her chest. Her well shaped bosoms, heaving up and down with
every long breath she took inside her. My nose touched hers. Even in the cold December night, our nose tips were sweaty. Our lips were only few millimeters from each other, but I could not
gather enough courage to kiss her beautiful lips or say something she was anticipating to hear.
With a long sigh, Paree opened her big eyes, glistening with tears. Her nose tip became red. She broke the dead silence running between us, with tearful eyes and shaking voice she said to me
---“I can’t do, Abhi. I can’t do. Go away. Just go away from my sight.”Saying so, she ran towards the marriage venue.
I stood there in the dark lonely road, dumbfounded. Feeling very lonely, with no one around. I felt the urge to puff a cigarette.
While puffing the cigarette, I asked myself, what am I, Who am I, Who is Abhimanyu? I felt in somewhere in some dark corner of my heart, that I am a loser. My vision got dampened, probably by
the smoke of the cigarette or may be my tear buds have started to flow. I have no right to hurt anyone. I have no right to hurt Suchismita in any cost or any sense. Something was not happening
right.
Some relations were forbidden in our human culture. Both of us were social animals, lived in a society.
I was walking slowly, back towards the venue, engrossed in all these thoughts.
From distant I heard a male voice calling my name.
I looked up and saw one of Subroto’s friends calling me. Asking me to come quickly, the marriage ritual has ended and everyone was going to have their dinner.
As I entered the venue, I found Paree seated at a corner, with her face down, eyesight fixated to the dying fire of the ritual. Creamy skin of her nose had turned pink as rose petals. From a good
distance I could see her long eyelashes soaked in dew drops of her eyes. Her back was heaving up and down.
Was she sobbing? My goodness, I thought. That was not at all a good sign.
Then, bride’s mother approached Paree and asked her ---“What happened to chirpy little Paree? Your newly wedded sister-in-law is waiting for you in the dining table, go and join them. Everyone
is waiting for you dear.”
Paree straightened up, wiped her eyes and smiled at her. Bride’s mother took her away.
______________________________
--------------------------------------
I got down from bus, Mom took me to a side, my heart thumped very fast, anticipating that she had sensed our closeness and was going to give me a good beat down.
Instead my mom said to me that every one of groom’s house would be having their dinner by 11o’clock and then leave. She asked me what was my intention, whether to stay or to go with others.
I said that I would be staying; I wanted to enjoy the marriage till end.
“OK” said mom and she gave me permission to stay.
So again, as the groom’s party arrived there was all chaos all over the place of the bride.
Paree was again lost somewhere in the midst of the huge crowd.
I sat there at the marriage venue with the groom, Subroto.
The Brahmins were performing all rituals. I had nothing to do except idle sitting.
At times I saw Paree roaming all over the place busy in doing nothing. She was definitely having a great time.
Once she came to me my heart started to beat louder ---“Hey, why are you sitting like a duck over here. Come with me.”
While she talked to me she did not looked at me. And I was also not looking at her.
---“Err no, it is better here. Lots of ladies are always with you. I feel bit uncomfortable surrounded by ladies.”
Paree ---“Ummm….. Ok then sit. But don’t forget to have your dinner. Everyone is going to leave after dinner, only few friends of Subroto Dada are going to stay.”
I told her that I have got permission from my mom that I will be staying.
She looked at me inquisitively ---“Do you mean to say that I should also stay?”
---“Depends upon you.” I laughed out.
Paree, bit angrily---“Ok, you will come to know what I can do?” and she went away.
Groom’s party finished their dinner. Every one of my relatives were about to leave.
Paree was adamant about staying with the groom.
My mom tried to persuade her ---“Paree, no ladies are going to stay, how can you stay here. What will your mom think?”
Paree playfully embraced my mom ---“You also treated me as your daughter once, so in that sense you are also like my mom, so just give me permission to stay. Please please please.”
On hearing her pleas, my mom called me ---“Hey, you, take care of her she is going to stay here all night and look after her else you will be in trouble.”
Inside my mind I was laughing very loudly, but with a very obedient look on my face I nodded and confirmed them that I would look after Paree.
Paree winked at me. She kissed my mom’s cheeks ---“My good Didi Mom, thank you very much. I will not be a naughty girl now.”
We bid adieu to the groom’s party.
Paree then again went away somewhere. I saw Paree running down to the ritual place with my shawl around her.
______________________________
From behind, her twin fleshy bottoms, swayed beautifully in front of my eyes. I felt the urge to touch those soft mushy mounds and kiss those.
As the night grew older, the crowd got thinner. People from bride’s house were also leaving. From groom’s party, there were only five persons present, two of Subroto’s friends, eldest brother and
Paree and myself.
The main ritual was about to start and it was already 12 o’clock in dead night. Paree stood by my side, close enough that our arms were touching each other’s. Paree’s fingers sometimes
brushing on my mine sending electrical pulses on my arms. We were avoiding to look into each other’s eyes, by looking straight to the fire of the ritual.
One lady came to Paree and asked whether she needs to retire somewhere for some forty winks. She nodded her head negatively.
I requested Paree to take a brisk walk with me, which she obediently accepted.
We were walking down the lonely dark road. Paree wrapped my shawl closely over her body to get bit of warmth. Her arms folded across her chest as she walked close to me. She was looking
down at her feet. Both of us were silent. I thought someone should break the ice.
So I muttered some strength in my voice ---“Paree, what happened, why you are not saying anything?”
Paree --- “So you think that nothing has happened? Do you?” Her voice trembled a bit.
---“What have I done?”
Paree --- “So you want to say you have done nothing? Lightning stroked me, do you know? I could not get up from that seat for quite some time.”
---“I just felt some urge deep inside my heart, to express something. That’s all.”
Paree was still looking at her feet, walking slowly ---“Everything went black in front of my eyes. The sensation, it happened to me like a lightening thunder.”
I stopped in the middle of the road, touched Paree’s shoulders and stood in front of her. I looked down at her, placed my right index finger on her chin and slowly pushed her face up. Her eyes
were closed, lips shaking in some forbidden anticipation. Her long eyelashes adorned her beautiful eyelids. She still had her arms folded across her chest clasping my shawl around her tightly. I
slowly bent down, brought my face near to her. I could feel her warm breath; I could even hear her heart thumping louder inside her chest. Her well shaped bosoms, heaving up and down with
every long breath she took inside her. My nose touched hers. Even in the cold December night, our nose tips were sweaty. Our lips were only few millimeters from each other, but I could not
gather enough courage to kiss her beautiful lips or say something she was anticipating to hear.
With a long sigh, Paree opened her big eyes, glistening with tears. Her nose tip became red. She broke the dead silence running between us, with tearful eyes and shaking voice she said to me
---“I can’t do, Abhi. I can’t do. Go away. Just go away from my sight.”Saying so, she ran towards the marriage venue.
I stood there in the dark lonely road, dumbfounded. Feeling very lonely, with no one around. I felt the urge to puff a cigarette.
While puffing the cigarette, I asked myself, what am I, Who am I, Who is Abhimanyu? I felt in somewhere in some dark corner of my heart, that I am a loser. My vision got dampened, probably by
the smoke of the cigarette or may be my tear buds have started to flow. I have no right to hurt anyone. I have no right to hurt Suchismita in any cost or any sense. Something was not happening
right.
Some relations were forbidden in our human culture. Both of us were social animals, lived in a society.
I was walking slowly, back towards the venue, engrossed in all these thoughts.
From distant I heard a male voice calling my name.
I looked up and saw one of Subroto’s friends calling me. Asking me to come quickly, the marriage ritual has ended and everyone was going to have their dinner.
As I entered the venue, I found Paree seated at a corner, with her face down, eyesight fixated to the dying fire of the ritual. Creamy skin of her nose had turned pink as rose petals. From a good
distance I could see her long eyelashes soaked in dew drops of her eyes. Her back was heaving up and down.
Was she sobbing? My goodness, I thought. That was not at all a good sign.
Then, bride’s mother approached Paree and asked her ---“What happened to chirpy little Paree? Your newly wedded sister-in-law is waiting for you in the dining table, go and join them. Everyone
is waiting for you dear.”
Paree straightened up, wiped her eyes and smiled at her. Bride’s mother took her away.
______________________________
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