15-12-2019, 04:41 PM
(This post was last modified: 16-10-2021, 12:34 AM by hirarandi. Edited 1 time in total. Edited 1 time in total.)
Meri tamaam batein soon kaar Shahji deer taak mujhe bahut gehri nazroon se dekhta raha phir ek gehra saans lete hoowe boola, “Salee aaj mujhe andaza ho raha hai ke too aab woho pehle wala bhoola bhaala gand marwane wala launda nahi raha balke too bahut paak gaya hai, mujhee teri tinoo baat to samajh me aati hai magar teri akhri shart meri samajh me nahi aaraha hai ke too aakhir apne raaz ko apni Maa paar kiun khoolna chaahta hai, khair mujhe kia, mujhe teri saab shart manzoor hai, haan yeh zaroor hai ke too ne paise bahut ziyada maang liye hain magar teri Maa jaisi aurat ko choodne ke liye zaroor kharaach karoon ga, waise sale abb too bilkul manjhe hoowe bharwe ki tarah saude baazi karne laga hai. Teri tamaam shart man liya hai maine aab jaldi de mujhe raaz bata.”
Maine Shahji ko tamam baatein batane ke baad kaha, “Shahji aab tum samajh hi gaye ho ge ke Mammi tum ko aaj kaal itni line kiun de rahi hain aaur onke dil me kia hai.”
Shahji meri baatein soon kaar hairaat se oochaal para aaur khushi ke mare mujhe lapta kaar piyaar karta hoowa kehne laga, “Wah mere raja wah, kia zabardast baat bataya hai tum ne, mujhe teeri Maa ke taur tariqe se shaak to tha magaar dil chahne ke bawajood himmat nahi kar saka, agaar mujhe yeh baat pehle se maaloom hoota to kab ka main Sali ko chood leta.”
“Ab to maloom ho gaya hai phir kab choodo ge aaur haan mujhe 500 rupai de ne me harami pan maat kar na aaur jo jo shart maine kaha hai oosse bhi mat bhoolna.” Main Shahji ko apne sharat ke baare me yaad dilata hoowa boola.
“Aabe gandu, bhosrike kia kabhi bhi tere paise dabaein hain maine hamisha jo bhi kaha wahi diya hai aaur rahi baat tere shart ki to tujhe yad dilane ki zarooraat nahi hai. Ek kaam kaar kisi tarah kal ya parsoon apne dono choote bhai aaur behan ko apne nani ke ghar bhej de take ghar me teri Maan ekeli ho, phir main oosse bare aaraam se dil khool kaar chood sakoon ga.”
Shahji ki baat soonne ke baad maine kaha, “Shahji main yeh wada nahi karsakta ke kal ya parsoon hi main choote bhai, behan ko Nani jan ke ghar bhej doonga ho sakta hai ke ek do din ziyadah hi lag jaye magar oonhein Nani jan ke ghar bhejwa zaroor doonga phir tumhein khabar kardoonga. Ab yey baataaoo ke tum ne kuch soocha hai ke main tum donoo ki choodai kaise dekh sakoon ga, kiunke main ghar paar rahoonga to Mammi meri wajah se kabhi nahi chhodwaeen gi.”
Meri baat soon kaar Shahji sooch me paar gaya, aaur soochte hoowe kehne laga, “Baat to teri bilkul theek hai ke too agaar ghar paar ho ga to tere daar se teri Maa chhowana to door ki baat hai haath bhi nahi rakhne degi, khair mujhe soochne de,” Ye kehkaar Shahji khamoosh ho kaar soochne laga aaur main choop chaap ooski shakaal dekhta raha. Thori der me Shahji gheri muskurahaat ke saath meri taraf dekhte hoowe kehne laga, “Ho gaya kaam meri samajh me poora tariqa aagaya hai.” Main be-ekhtiyaar bool para, “Kaisa tariqa jaldi bataao,”
Shahji meri betabi dekh kaar muskuradiya aaur mujhe dekhta hoowa boola, “Yaar sabar to kar abhi batata hoon, mera plan yeh hai ke main jab tumhare ghar aaoonga to tere samne hi teri Maa ko kahooga ke jis jis cheez ki zaroorat ho likhwa dein, phir tujh se kahoonga ke meri tabiyaat kuch theek nahi hai issliye mera ek kaam kar de to teri meharbani hoogi. Tum fauran razi hojana, phir main tujhe ek list doonga aaur kahoonga ke, yeh kuch samaan ka list hai jo mujhe dookaan ke liye chahiye, too iss list ko le aaur Jodiya Bazaar (wholesale market and 20 Kilometer far from my home) ja kaar mere supplier ko de de woh mujhe khud hi kaal sab samaan bhejwa dega, mere supplier ke company ka naam aaur pata issi list me hai tujhe aasani se mil jaye ga, main jujhe aane jane ka bhara (fare) aaur 20 Rupai doonga tum meri taraf se film dekh lena. Bas tum fauraan jane ke liye taiyaar ho jana, main tujhe aane jane ka bhara (Fare) aaur 20 Rupai teri Maa ke samne hi doonga, tum bhare ka rupia le kaar fauraan jane ke liye khare ho jana aaur apni Maa se kehna ke too Jodiya Bazar jaraha hai aaur woh saman likhwane ke baad chaee (TEA) pilaye bina mujhe jane na de, phir mujh se kehna ke, “Shahji main ja raha hoon tum mere saath chaloo aaur darwaza band karlo” main tere saath darwaza band karne ke liye chaloon ga aaur darwaza band kar ke wapaas teri Maa ke paas aa jaunga.” Shahji itna keh kaar choop hogaya aaur meri taraf dekhte hoowe kehne laga, “Sale meri baat samajh raha hai ya nahi.”
Shahji ki baat to main samajh raha tha aaur yeh sooch raha tha ke mere ghar se nikaalne ke baad Shahji to darwaza band kar de ga phir main choodai kaise dekh sakoon ga, main jaldi se boola, “Shahji main tumhai baat bilkul samajh raha hoon magar main to bahar rahoonga aaur tum darwaza band karlooge phir main choodai kaise dekh sakoon ga.”
Shahji meri taraaf dekh kaar muskurata hoowa boola, “Aabe sale budhu kiya tere dimaagh me goobaar bhara hai jo itni si baat nahi samajh raha hai, sale too gandu ka gandu hi rahe ga. Aabe tujhe ghar se bahar karke darwaza nahi band karoonga too ghar ke andar hi rahe ga aaur teri Maa to yahi samjhe gi ke too Jodiya Bazar chala gaya hai, oose itminaan ho jayega ke aab ghar me sirif haam doonono hi hain tisraa kooi nahi hai phir woh bina kisi daar aaur khauf ke choodwane ke liye raazi ho jae gi. Phir too choop kaar aaraam se apni Maa ko choodwate hoowe dekhna.”
Shahji ka plan soon kaar main be-ekhtiyaar boolpara, “Wah Shahji wah kia plan banaya hai, waqaai isstarah to Mammi yahi samjhein gi ke main chala gaya hoon bas kisi tarah toom oonhein choodwane ke liye razi kaar loo.”
“Aabe woh muddaatoon se choodwane ke liye taraas rahi hai, oosse to lund chahiye jo osski choot ki khujli ko mita sake, phir bhi agaar Sali nakhre kare gi to Sali ko pakaar kaar bistaar par patakh kaar zabardasti chood loon ga. Ek baar choodwalegi phir baar baar choodwae gi.” Yeh keh kaar Shahji khamoosh hogaya phir kehne laga, “Ek baat samajh le agaar woh razi khushi apni marzi se choodwalegi to choodai ke baad hi main oosse tere bare mein aaur Najma ke baare me sab kuch bata doon ga, aaur agaar oosse zabardasti choodna pare ga to oos din kuch nahi bataoonga, baad me jab woh raste paar aa jaye gi aaur choodwana shooroo karde gi phir oosse bataaoonga.”
Yeh saab baatein karte hoowe Shahji bahut garam ho gaya tha aaur phir woh meri gand maar kaar apni garmi ko nikaala ooske baad mujhe wapaas ghar jane diya.
Dosre din maine muqa dekh kaar Najma ko saab kuch bata kaar osse kaha, “Najma kaal ya paarsoon (tomorrow or day after tomorrow) tum sobah (morning) hi soobah Mammi se kehna ke tum Nani jan ke ghaar jaaoo gi phir main tumhein Nani jan ke ghaar choor aaoon ga yeh zaroon yaad rakhna ke tum apne saath Kabeer aaur Saba ko sath lejana take Mammi ghar paar akeli ho jaaein phir main Shahji ko khabaar kar doonga.
“Tum bilkul fikaar maat karo main dono ko apne saath hi le jaaoongi, Shahab tum to Mammi ki choodai dekh kaar khoob maze karo ge, koi aisa rasta nikaloo ke main bhi oonki choodai dekh sakoon.”
Maine Shahji ko tamam baatein batane ke baad kaha, “Shahji aab tum samajh hi gaye ho ge ke Mammi tum ko aaj kaal itni line kiun de rahi hain aaur onke dil me kia hai.”
Shahji meri baatein soon kaar hairaat se oochaal para aaur khushi ke mare mujhe lapta kaar piyaar karta hoowa kehne laga, “Wah mere raja wah, kia zabardast baat bataya hai tum ne, mujhe teeri Maa ke taur tariqe se shaak to tha magaar dil chahne ke bawajood himmat nahi kar saka, agaar mujhe yeh baat pehle se maaloom hoota to kab ka main Sali ko chood leta.”
“Ab to maloom ho gaya hai phir kab choodo ge aaur haan mujhe 500 rupai de ne me harami pan maat kar na aaur jo jo shart maine kaha hai oosse bhi mat bhoolna.” Main Shahji ko apne sharat ke baare me yaad dilata hoowa boola.
“Aabe gandu, bhosrike kia kabhi bhi tere paise dabaein hain maine hamisha jo bhi kaha wahi diya hai aaur rahi baat tere shart ki to tujhe yad dilane ki zarooraat nahi hai. Ek kaam kaar kisi tarah kal ya parsoon apne dono choote bhai aaur behan ko apne nani ke ghar bhej de take ghar me teri Maan ekeli ho, phir main oosse bare aaraam se dil khool kaar chood sakoon ga.”
Shahji ki baat soonne ke baad maine kaha, “Shahji main yeh wada nahi karsakta ke kal ya parsoon hi main choote bhai, behan ko Nani jan ke ghar bhej doonga ho sakta hai ke ek do din ziyadah hi lag jaye magar oonhein Nani jan ke ghar bhejwa zaroor doonga phir tumhein khabar kardoonga. Ab yey baataaoo ke tum ne kuch soocha hai ke main tum donoo ki choodai kaise dekh sakoon ga, kiunke main ghar paar rahoonga to Mammi meri wajah se kabhi nahi chhodwaeen gi.”
Meri baat soon kaar Shahji sooch me paar gaya, aaur soochte hoowe kehne laga, “Baat to teri bilkul theek hai ke too agaar ghar paar ho ga to tere daar se teri Maa chhowana to door ki baat hai haath bhi nahi rakhne degi, khair mujhe soochne de,” Ye kehkaar Shahji khamoosh ho kaar soochne laga aaur main choop chaap ooski shakaal dekhta raha. Thori der me Shahji gheri muskurahaat ke saath meri taraf dekhte hoowe kehne laga, “Ho gaya kaam meri samajh me poora tariqa aagaya hai.” Main be-ekhtiyaar bool para, “Kaisa tariqa jaldi bataao,”
Shahji meri betabi dekh kaar muskuradiya aaur mujhe dekhta hoowa boola, “Yaar sabar to kar abhi batata hoon, mera plan yeh hai ke main jab tumhare ghar aaoonga to tere samne hi teri Maa ko kahooga ke jis jis cheez ki zaroorat ho likhwa dein, phir tujh se kahoonga ke meri tabiyaat kuch theek nahi hai issliye mera ek kaam kar de to teri meharbani hoogi. Tum fauran razi hojana, phir main tujhe ek list doonga aaur kahoonga ke, yeh kuch samaan ka list hai jo mujhe dookaan ke liye chahiye, too iss list ko le aaur Jodiya Bazaar (wholesale market and 20 Kilometer far from my home) ja kaar mere supplier ko de de woh mujhe khud hi kaal sab samaan bhejwa dega, mere supplier ke company ka naam aaur pata issi list me hai tujhe aasani se mil jaye ga, main jujhe aane jane ka bhara (fare) aaur 20 Rupai doonga tum meri taraf se film dekh lena. Bas tum fauraan jane ke liye taiyaar ho jana, main tujhe aane jane ka bhara (Fare) aaur 20 Rupai teri Maa ke samne hi doonga, tum bhare ka rupia le kaar fauraan jane ke liye khare ho jana aaur apni Maa se kehna ke too Jodiya Bazar jaraha hai aaur woh saman likhwane ke baad chaee (TEA) pilaye bina mujhe jane na de, phir mujh se kehna ke, “Shahji main ja raha hoon tum mere saath chaloo aaur darwaza band karlo” main tere saath darwaza band karne ke liye chaloon ga aaur darwaza band kar ke wapaas teri Maa ke paas aa jaunga.” Shahji itna keh kaar choop hogaya aaur meri taraf dekhte hoowe kehne laga, “Sale meri baat samajh raha hai ya nahi.”
Shahji ki baat to main samajh raha tha aaur yeh sooch raha tha ke mere ghar se nikaalne ke baad Shahji to darwaza band kar de ga phir main choodai kaise dekh sakoon ga, main jaldi se boola, “Shahji main tumhai baat bilkul samajh raha hoon magar main to bahar rahoonga aaur tum darwaza band karlooge phir main choodai kaise dekh sakoon ga.”
Shahji meri taraaf dekh kaar muskurata hoowa boola, “Aabe sale budhu kiya tere dimaagh me goobaar bhara hai jo itni si baat nahi samajh raha hai, sale too gandu ka gandu hi rahe ga. Aabe tujhe ghar se bahar karke darwaza nahi band karoonga too ghar ke andar hi rahe ga aaur teri Maa to yahi samjhe gi ke too Jodiya Bazar chala gaya hai, oose itminaan ho jayega ke aab ghar me sirif haam doonono hi hain tisraa kooi nahi hai phir woh bina kisi daar aaur khauf ke choodwane ke liye raazi ho jae gi. Phir too choop kaar aaraam se apni Maa ko choodwate hoowe dekhna.”
Shahji ka plan soon kaar main be-ekhtiyaar boolpara, “Wah Shahji wah kia plan banaya hai, waqaai isstarah to Mammi yahi samjhein gi ke main chala gaya hoon bas kisi tarah toom oonhein choodwane ke liye razi kaar loo.”
“Aabe woh muddaatoon se choodwane ke liye taraas rahi hai, oosse to lund chahiye jo osski choot ki khujli ko mita sake, phir bhi agaar Sali nakhre kare gi to Sali ko pakaar kaar bistaar par patakh kaar zabardasti chood loon ga. Ek baar choodwalegi phir baar baar choodwae gi.” Yeh keh kaar Shahji khamoosh hogaya phir kehne laga, “Ek baat samajh le agaar woh razi khushi apni marzi se choodwalegi to choodai ke baad hi main oosse tere bare mein aaur Najma ke baare me sab kuch bata doon ga, aaur agaar oosse zabardasti choodna pare ga to oos din kuch nahi bataoonga, baad me jab woh raste paar aa jaye gi aaur choodwana shooroo karde gi phir oosse bataaoonga.”
Yeh saab baatein karte hoowe Shahji bahut garam ho gaya tha aaur phir woh meri gand maar kaar apni garmi ko nikaala ooske baad mujhe wapaas ghar jane diya.
Dosre din maine muqa dekh kaar Najma ko saab kuch bata kaar osse kaha, “Najma kaal ya paarsoon (tomorrow or day after tomorrow) tum sobah (morning) hi soobah Mammi se kehna ke tum Nani jan ke ghaar jaaoo gi phir main tumhein Nani jan ke ghaar choor aaoon ga yeh zaroon yaad rakhna ke tum apne saath Kabeer aaur Saba ko sath lejana take Mammi ghar paar akeli ho jaaein phir main Shahji ko khabaar kar doonga.
“Tum bilkul fikaar maat karo main dono ko apne saath hi le jaaoongi, Shahab tum to Mammi ki choodai dekh kaar khoob maze karo ge, koi aisa rasta nikaloo ke main bhi oonki choodai dekh sakoon.”
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