03-12-2019, 05:20 PM
Main kursi se bandha hua hi khada ho gya or farookh ko baalo se pakad kar uska sir kursi par zor se maara jisse kursi bethne wali jagah se toot gyi or farookh zameen par apna sir pakad kar gir gya. ab sirf kursi ki aagey wali taangey hi meri taango se bandhi hui thi. Itne me waha bethe sab log khade ho gye or mujhe pakadne ke liye meri taraf lapke jinme se ek ko maine gardan se pakad kar dusre ke sir me pakde hue aadmi ka sir maara woh dono wahi gir gye. Tabhi ek aadmi chalaang lagake mere uper gir gya jisse main khud ko sambhaal nahi saka or main bhi zameen par uske sath hi gir gya. Maine jaldi se uska ek baaju pakda or apni taang ke niche se nikaal kar taang ko mod diya jisse uski gardan mere ghutne par aa gyi mere pair ke sath kursi ki taang bandhe hone ki wajah se main taang ko mod nahi sakta tha isliye maine uski gardan ko apni seedhi hui taang par hi daba diya or gardan ke pichhe ki taraf apne hath ka jor se waar kiya jisse uski garden toot gyi or uske mooh se khoon nikalne laga itni der me baaki bache 2 logo ne mere sir me sharab ki bottal phodni shuru kardi jisse mere sirf me se bhi khoon aane laga.
Unme se ek aadmi ka maine hath pakda or niche ki taraf khinch liya jisse woh aadmi mere uper hi gir gya maine sharab ki tooti hui bottal uske hath se chhin lee or uske gale me toote hue hisse se waar kiya jisse uski gardan me kaanch dhaste chale gye or usme se paani ki tarah khoon nikalne laga jabki dusra aadmi darwaze ki taraf bhaga maine hath me pakdi bottal hawa me uchhal kar uske sir me maari jisse bottal phoot gyi or woh darwaze me jake laga maine bed ke sahara leke khud ko khada kiya or jaldi se apni taang se bandhi kursi ki taang ki rassi ko khol diya ab maine wahi kursi ki taang uthayi or uske sir me maari jisse kursi ki taang toot gyi or uske sir se bhi khoon nikalne laga. Woh aadmi zameen par gir gya or mujhse reham ki bheekh maangne laga maine tooti hui kursi ka tukda uthaaya or uske mooh me daal kar jor se pair ko kursi ke bahar nikle hisse par daba diya jisse kursi ka niche wala hissa jo uske mooh me ghusa hua halak tak ko cheer gya or woh wahi tadap-tadap ke mar gya. Ab maine jaldi se dusri taang par bandhi kursi bhi kholi or kamre me bane bathroom me chala gya khud ke chehre par lage zakham ko dekhne laga phir maine apne sir ko paani se dhoya or chehre par laga khoon saaf kiya. uske baad main jaldi se bahar aaya or security officer wali wardi utaar kar unn mare hue logo ka coat-pent pehan liya kyoki ladayi ke doraan unn logo ka kaafi khoon vardi par lag gya tha. Main haveli ke iss waqt aakhri hisse me khada tha jaha se heena ka kamra kaafi door tha isliye main balcony ke rastey se pipe par latak kar heena ke kamre ki taraf chala gya. Jaha pehle se kaafi ladkiyaan mojud thi or heena ko teiyaar kar rhi thi.
Ab main heena ke kamre me bhi nahi jaa sakta tha isliye pipe ke sahare hi latakta hua aagey ki taraf badhne laga jaha niche mujhe hall or stage nazar aaya jaha par khan betha tha. Unchaayi kafi jada thi isliye main seedha niche chalaang nahi laga sakta tha isliye main idhar udhar koi rassi dekhne laga jisse latak kar main niche tak jaa saku kyoki ab mujhe sirf khan ko hi marna tha. Tabhi mujhe samne ek jhoomar latka hua nazar aaya mujhe bas waha tak kisi bhi tarah se pohonchna tha kyoki waha se stage ki unchayi kaafi kam thi or main asani se chalaang bhi laga sakta tha. maine idhar udhar dekha or pipe ke sahare haveli ki chhat ki taraf badhne laga jisse latak kar main uper ki ek balcony me pohonch gya balcony se jhumar par chalaang lagana asaan tha isliye maine balcony ki railing par pair rakh ke khada ho gya or niche jhumar ke uper chalaang laga di. Jhumar zanjeero se bandha hua tha isliye usne mera wajan to utha liya lekin mere girne se bohot jor ki awaaz hui or kaafi bulb bhi toot gye jisse sabka dheyaan uper ki taraf chala gya.
Chaudhary : oye kon hai uper....
Jhumar se niche ki doori kaafi kam thi isliye maine bina koi jawab diya niche stage par chalaang laga di or main seedha khan ke uper aake gir gya jisse uski kursi toot gyi or khan ko kaafi chot aayi maine jaldi se apne daye pair ko uper uthaya or usme tangi ek pistol nikaal kar khan ke sir par rakh di.
Main : madarchod maine kaha tha naa aaj tu nikaah nahi jahannum qabool karega.
Khan : gun niche kar le shera nahi to mere log yha khade tamaam logo ko maar dalenge.
Main : agar tere ek aadmi ki bhi goli chali to tera bheja yhi bahar nikaal dunga isliye apne kutto se bol bandook niche rakh de nahi to tera postmortem main yhi khade-khade kar dunga.
Khan : (apne logo ko gun niche karne ka ishara karte hue) niche karo...
Main : Yeh hui naa baat chal ab sharafat se mujhe bahar leke chal tujhe to main apne gaav leke jaunga jha sab tera seekh kabaab bnayenge sale...
Tabhi farookh heena ke sir par bandook lagaye seedhiyo se utarta hua nazar aaya.
Farookh : itni jaldi bhi kya hai shera... gun niche kar nahi to teri darling to gyi.
Chaudhary : yeh kya badtameezi hai khan sahab apne aadmi se kaho chhor de meri beti ko nahi to achha nahi hoga.
Khan : waah farookh waah... Chup kar budhe... sale teri beti ke chakkar me hum apni qurbaani to nahi de sakte naa....
Heena : (chalte hue stage ke pass aate hue) Sunn liya abbu.... yhi woh ladka tha naa jo aapne mere liye chuna tha.
Chaudhary : mujhe maaf kar de beti...
Farookh : Oye tum baap-beti apna Drama band karo... shera tujhe suna nahi maine kya bola ghoda niche kar nahi to main iss ladki ko goli maar dunga.
Chaudhary ye sab dekh nahi saka or jaldi se farookh se pistol chhin ne laga. Tabhi khan ne apni jeb se pistol nikaal kar chaudhary ko 3 goli maar di jisse chaudhary wahi zameen par gir gya dher ho gya.
Khan : shera apni pistol niche kar nahi to agli goli heena par chalegi.
Main ab majboor tha isliye chah kar bhi khan par goli nahi chala skata tha isliye apni pistol khan ko de di.
heena : (rote hue) Nahi Neer essa mat karo maar do iss kutte ko isne mere abbu ko mara hai.
Khan ne mujhse pistol le lee or ek zordar tamacha mere mooh par mara tabhi khan ke kuch aadmiyo ne mujhe pichhe se aake pakad liya or ek rassi se dubara mere hath baandh diye. Khan ne apni pistol wapis apni jeb me daali or qaazi ko awaaz lagayi.
Khan : Qaazi sahab kaha hai yaar jaldi karo nikaah nahi karwana kya hmara.
Qaazi : main ladki ki marzi ke khilaaf uski shaadi nahi karwa sakta yeh gunah hai.
Khan : gunah kis baat ka qaazi sahab aap dekhna yeh ladki aapke samne mujhe qabool karegi nahi to main iske aashiq ko goli maar dunga.
Heena : (rote hue) nahi... Neer ko kuch mat karna tum jo bologe main woh karungi.
Khan : dekha qaazi sahab main naa kehta tha... chaliye nikaah ki teiyaari kijiye abhi or bhi bohot se kaam khatam karne hain.
Tabhi pichhe se andha-dhundh goliyaan chalne ki awaaz aane lagi or ek-ek karke khan ke sab aadmiyo par goliyaan chalne lagi. Mujhe yeh samajhte ek pal bhi nahi laga ki mera yaar lala aa gya hai or mere aadmiyo ne poori haveli ko charo taraf se gher liya hai ab haveli ke chappe-chappe par mere aadmi bandook liye khade the or saari baazi hi palat gyi thi.
Lala : (Taali bajate hue) kya baat hai bhai yha to poori mehfil lagi hai lagta hai main waqt par hi aa gya... Maine kaha khaan sahab Salaam qabool kijiye lala ka... agar aap nahi chahte ki main aapki gaand par laat maaru to apne aadmiyo ko pyaar se bolo ki mere bhai or bhabhi ko sharafat se khol de nahi to yeh aapki sehat ke liye achha nahi hoga.... (muskurate hue)
Main : (muskurate hue) kaha mar gya tha sale 5 minute or nahi aata to hmari laashe milni thi tujhe sala koi kaam ka nahi hai tu.....
Lala : (Stage par chadhte hue) Oye kya aadmi hai sala ahsaan to maanta hi nahi kisi ka... Ab phas gya to sara bill mere naam par phaad rha hai... Maine nahi bola tha ki kuch der rukjaa main aa jau phir sath me milkar iss kutte ki gaand maarenge tab to bada chouda hoke akela hi bheed gya tha sabke sath.
Main : achha thik hai ab naatak mat chod or aake mere hath khol.
Lala : (adab se mere samne jhukte hue) Jo hukum mere aakaa...
Uske baad lala ne pehle khaan ko ek zordaar tamacha maara or phir meri rassi bhi khol di. Heena jaldi se bhaag kar mere pass ayi or mere gale se lag kar rone lagi.
Lala : (Muskurate hue heena ko dekh kar) maine kaha salaam qabool karo apne devar ka hone wali bhabhi ji.
Heena : (Mujhe gale se lagaye hue lala ko dekhne lagi) Neer yeh kon hai.
Main : (muskurakar) Mera bachpan ka dost hai
Lala : Chalo khan sahab marne ke liye ready ho jao or Humne to apne gareeb khane me kaafi intezam kiya tha lekin shera bhai ka hukum hai ki aapko thokna hai... Yeh laila majnu ko lage rehne do aap filhaal mere sath hi kaam chalao abhi to sirf main hi aapki maarunga. (khan ki gaand par laat marte hue) chal bhosdi ke dekhta kya hai... Shera ko bhabhi se free hone de teri to yhi maarega... Bol bhai shera iska kya karna hai.... thok doo kya...
Main : Nahi... isko gaadi me daal or leke chal apne thikaane par mera mood badal gya hai ab isko maarenge nahi balki iski maarenge (aankh maarte hue) or phir abhi to isse chhote ke bhi bohot se raaz ugalwane hain.
Lala : (palat te hue) Mujhe aaj tu kuch badla-badla sa lag rha hai yaar...
Main : (muskurate hue) sale mujhe sab kuch yaad aa gya hai...
Lala : (hawa me fire karte hue) Oye yaraa khush kar diya.... bbbuuurrraaahhhhh... Chal tu bhabhi ko leke bahar aaja fir dekhte hain kya karna hai.
Main : tum log chalo main apni gaadi me hi aaunga.
Lala : oye main bahar se hi aaya hoo waha teri gaadi nahi khadi.
Main : yaar meri gaadi haveli ke pichhe khadi hai or sath me mere kuch or log bhi hain jinko sath hi leke jana hai.
Lala : achha to tu chal main zra apne hath ki khujli khatam kar loo.... (Apna hath khujate hue)
Main : thik hai lekin sale jada mat marna yeh apne jaisa nahi hai... zra karaare 4 hath pad gye to mar hi naa jaye....
Lala : (Khan ke mooh par mukka marte hue) tu jaa yaar mujhe disturb mat kar abhi main bussy hoo dekhta nahi itne din baad to kisi ko tasalli se dhone ka moqa mila hai...
Main : achha thik hai lekin 5 minute me bahar aa jana isko lekar jada der nahi karna.
Lala : (Khan ke pet me laat marte hue) tu jaa naa yaar main aa jaunga iske liye to 5 minute bhi bohot hai usme hi iski phat ke hath me aa jayegi... (zor se hastey hue)
Heena apne abbu ko gale laga kar kaafi der roti rhi fir jab maine uske pass jake uske aagey hath badhaya to woh bin kuch bole mera hath pakadkar khadi ho gyi. Maine sabse pehle heena ke aansu saaf kiye uske baad main or heena jaldi se haveli se bahar nikale or haveli ke pichhe ki taraf chale gye jaha par maine apni gaadi khadi ki thi Gaadi ke pass hi mujhe nazi bethi hui nazar aayi jo bar-bar idhar udhar dekh rhi thi uske chehre se mere liye fikar door se hi dikhayi de rhi thi. Mujhe or heena ko door se aata hua dekhkar jaise uska chehra khushi se khil gya Woh tez kamdo ke sath Neer ko god me uthaye hmari taraf badhne lagi or aate hi mujhe gale se laga liya or khushi se muskurane lagi.
Nazi : Kitni der kar di aane me main to bohot darr gyi thi... tum thik to ho naa....
Main : kaisa lagta hoo...
Nazi : Yeh sir me chot kaise lagi...
Main : woh sab jane do yeh thoda bohot to chalta rehta hai ab tum jaldi se gaadi me betho humko hmare naye ghar jana hai.
Nazi : (khush hoke haa me sir hilate hue) Hhhmmm chalo...
Heena : laao chhota Neer mujhe de do or tum aagey bade wale Neer ke sath beth jao.
Uske baad main or naazi aagey beth gye or Neer ko heena ne pakad liya or woh khud hi pichhe beth gyi. Main jaldi se gaadi start ki or usko haveli ke agli taraf le aya or haveli ke bade gate ke samne rok diya jaha mere sathiyo ki gaadiyo ka qafila pehle se mojud tha. Uske baad maine apne aadmiyo se chalne ka ishara kiya or woh log mera ishara pate hi ander gye or lala or khan ko le aaye. Lala ne kuch hi der me khan ki bohot buri halat kar di thi. khan ke chehre se or sir se paani ki taraf khoon tapak rha tha or kuch aadmi usko zameen par ghasitkar laa rhe the.
Main : oye sale maar to nahi diya usko.
Lala : (apna hath rumaal se saaf karte hue) nahi bhai zinda hai kutta... isko to addey par le-jakar tasalli se sab bhai mil kar marenge.
Main : chal gaadi me beth chalne ka waqt ho gya hai.
Lala : (mujhe salute karte hue) Ok boss...
Uske baad hum sab gaadi me bethe or apne gaav, apne ghar ki taraf gaadiyo ke qafile ko badha diya. Heena mujhe kuch udaas lag rhi thi lekin nazi bohot khush thi or apne naye ghar ka sunkar bohot jada excited thi.
Meri gaadi sabse aagey thi or baaki gaadiyan meri gaadi ke pichhe chal rhi thi or kuch fasle par thi kuch hi der me hum apni gaav ki sarhad se kaafi door nikal aaye the. Humko gaav se nikale ab kaafi waqt ho gya tha lekin heena mujhe ab bhi udaas lag rhi thi isliye maine ishare se apne sath bethi naazi ko apne pass kiya or usko pichhe jane ka ishara kiya taaki dono baaten kar sake or heena ka bhi mann behal jaye. Nazi chalti hui gaadi me hi seat ko niche karke pichhe chali gyi or heena ke sath beth gyi or kuch hi der me dono ki baate shuru ho gyi or ab heena bhi pehle se kaafi behtar nazar aa rhi thi. Meri tarqeeb ne apna kam dikha diya tha kyoki 2 aurate ek sath chup to kabhi beth hi nahi sakti isliye bat hona lazmi tha isi tarah heena ka mood bhi ab achha ho gya tha. Ese hi guzarte waqt ke sath hum apni raftaar se manzil ko badh rhe the ki achanak mujhe samne ek check post nazar aayi hum woh cross karke nahi jaa sakte the kyoki hum sab ke pass kaafi asla tha or khan ke sath hone ki wajah se humare pakde jane ka bhi darr tha isliye maine jaldi se apni jeb se apna phone nikala or lala ko phone karke apni gaadi ke pichhe aane ka hukum diya or apni gaadi ko ek jungle ki taraf ghuma diya mere pichhe-pichhe hi baaki gadiya bhi jungle me ghus gyi kuch door jake maine gaadi ko rok diya kyoki mujhe aagey kis taraf jana hai yeh samajh me nahi aa rha tha isliye maine gaadi se bahar nikal kar Lala ki gaadi ko bhi rukne ka ishara kiya mere nazdeek aake uski gadi bhi ruk gyi or lala gaadi se bahar aa gya.
Lala : haa bhai yha bich jungle me kaha le aaya yaar ab aagey kaha jana hai.
Main : yaar aagey check post thi isliye maine gaadi ko jungle me ghuma liya lekin ab aagey kis taraf jana hai yeh mujhe bhi samajh nahi aa rha shayad hum bhatak gye hain.
Lala : loh ji kar lo baat... ab bich jungle me kya karenge yaar din bhi dhalne wala hai essa karte hain wapis chalte hain waha se highway par ho jayenge.
Maian : pagal ho gya hai kya... aagey check post thi isliye to maine gaadi jungle me ghusa di thi or tu phir se wahi jane ki baat kar rha hai ab tak yeh kutte (khan) ke chamche bhi isko dhoondhne nikal pade honge.
Lala : phir kya hai yaar sala darta kon hai apne pass hathiyaar ki kami hai kya sala jo bhi aayega maar kar nikal jayenge or kya chal bhai wapis hi chalte hain.
Abhi hum dono baat hi kar rhe the ki achanak khan gaadi se mooh bahar nikaal kar chillaya...
Khan : kameeno tum yha se zinda nahi jaa sakte tumne mujhe agwa karke apni maut ko daavat di hai abhi tum mujhe jante nahi ho.
Lala : (gusse me ) Arre yaar bhai tu to bhabhi ke sath maze se beth gya or yeh harami ko mere sath daal diya sala bheja khaa gya mera kitna bolta hai yeh.... (apne aadmiyo se) Yaar koi ganda kapda dhoondho iska mooh bandhne ko...
Munna (Hmara aadmi) : Bhai ek hi patti thi woh bhi yeh sala kutta kaat gya or patti phat gyi.
Lala : (kuch sochte hue or hass kar) iska ilaaj to main karta hoo...
Main : (sawaliya nazaro se lala ko dekhte hue) Oye maar mat dena yeh zinda chahiye mujhe samjha abhi isse bohot kuch ugalwana hai.
Lala : bhai fikar mat kar maar kon rha hai mera to kuch or hi mood hai (aankh marte hue).
Main : kya karne lga hai tu...
Lala : (haste hue) Tu bas bhabhi ko gaadi se bahar mat aane dena iski essi-tessi to main karta hoo sala mooh kholne ke layak nahi rahega....
Itna keh kar woh apna joota utarne laga or phir apni zuraab bhi utaar lee or phir se joota pehan liya or apni gandi bad-boo-daar zuraab utha kar ek jhaadi ke pichhe chala gya maine bhi naazi or heena ko gaadi se bahar nikalne se mana kar diya. kuch der baad lala jab hasta hua wapis aaya to uski zuraab geeli thi or usse paani tapak rha tha.
Main : (Hastey hue) yeh kya hai kameene...
Lala : (hastey hue) Iss kutte ka mooh band karne ka ilaaj... Chal bhai mooh khol iska... lage hath dono kaam ho gye sala mera bhi kaafi der se pressure bna hua tha sala pet bhi khaali ho gya or iska bhi ilaaj ho gya.
Lala ke sath bethe aadmiyo ne khan ka mooh pakad liya or jabardasti peshaab se geeli ki hui zuraab khaan ke mooh me daal di or ussi phati hui patti ko dubara uske mooh par baandh diya woh kisi bin paani ki machali ki taraf chat-pata rha tha or apni garden ko hawa me idhar udhar kar rha tha. Sab yeh dekh kar zor-zor se hass rhe the or heena or nazi jo ki ab bhi gaadi me bethi thi woh mujhe sawaliya nazaro se dekh rhi thi.
Heena : kya hua sab hass kyo rhe hain.
Main : (hastey hue) kuch nahi tumhare kaam ki baat nahi hai.... Yaar hum rasta bhatak gye hain aagey kis taraf jana hai samajh nahi aa rha tumko yha se aagey jane ka rasta pta hai kya.
Naazi : (bich me bolte hue) Mujhe pta hai kis taraf jana hai main bachpan me college isi rastey se jaya karti thi.
Main : To pehle btaya kyo nahi kitni der se hum bekaar me bhatak rhe hain.
Naazi : (mooh bnate hue) tumne puchha hi nahi...
Main : Kya yaar tum bhi kamaal ho... (apne saare aadmiyo se) Chalo oye gaadi me betho saare rastey ka pta lag gya hai.
Uske baad sab aadmi wapis gaadiyo me beth gye or khan ko bhi wapis gaadi me daal liya or hum sab Nazi ke btaye rastey par aagey badhne lage or kuch hi der me hum highway par aa gye abhi hume kuch hi der hui thi ki mera phone bajne laga. Maine jeb se phone nikala to screen par rubi likha aa rha tha. Mujhe samajh me nahi aa rha tha ki nazi or heena ke samne rubi se baat kaise karu lekin phone uthana bhi jaruri tha isliye kuch sochkar maine phone utha liya.
Main : Hanji sarkaar hukum kijiye...
Rubi : Kaha ho tum... mujhe phone kyo nahi kiya... maine kaha tha naa pohonch kar mujhe phone kar dena... jante ho kitni fikar ho gyi thi tumhari....
Main : bas... bas... bas... Saans to lelo... ek hi saans me sab kuch puch liya... Yaar mujhe bolna ka moqa to do...
Rubi : thik hai bolo... phone kyo nahi kiya or wapis kab aa rhe ho.
Main : Main kal subah tak wapis aa jaunga or jis kaam ke liye gya tha woh poora ho gya hai...
Rubi : Sachhiii.... kamaal hai itni jaldi wapis aa rhe ho...
Main : tum kaho to 4-5 din or ruk jata hoo
Rubi : Nahi... mere kehne ka woh matlab nahi tha....
Main : achha ek kaam ki baat suno...
Rubi : Hhhmm.... bolo...
Main : mere sath kuch mehmaan bhi aa rhe hain jo hmare ghar me hi rahenge hmare sath...
Rubi : Mehmaan hai to unko haveli me rakho naa ghar laane ki kya jarurat hai.
Main : Arre yaar woh kaam wale mehmaan nahi hai mere mehmaan hai or bohot khaas hai ab se woh bhi hmare sath hi rahenge to tum unn logo ke rehne ka intezaam kar dena thik hai...
Rubi : Hhhmm thik hai lekin tumne yeh to btaya hi nahi kitne log hain.
Main : (hastey hue) 2 aurat hai or ek chhota sa sher bhi hai unke sath.
Rubi : Aurat kon hai...
Main : Arre yaar tumko aake sab btaunga bas abhi jitna keh rha hoo utna kar lo.
Rubi : achha... Jaldi aa jana main intezaar karungi...
Main : Hhhmmm Chalo ab phone rakh do main gaadi chala rha hoo...
Rubi : Uuuhhuu.... kitni baar kaha hai gaadi chalate hue baat naa kiya karo....
Main : tumhara bhi pta nahi chalta yaar phone utha lo to musibat na uthao to musibat...
Rubi : achha ab phone band karo or dheyaan se gaadi chalao.
Unme se ek aadmi ka maine hath pakda or niche ki taraf khinch liya jisse woh aadmi mere uper hi gir gya maine sharab ki tooti hui bottal uske hath se chhin lee or uske gale me toote hue hisse se waar kiya jisse uski gardan me kaanch dhaste chale gye or usme se paani ki tarah khoon nikalne laga jabki dusra aadmi darwaze ki taraf bhaga maine hath me pakdi bottal hawa me uchhal kar uske sir me maari jisse bottal phoot gyi or woh darwaze me jake laga maine bed ke sahara leke khud ko khada kiya or jaldi se apni taang se bandhi kursi ki taang ki rassi ko khol diya ab maine wahi kursi ki taang uthayi or uske sir me maari jisse kursi ki taang toot gyi or uske sir se bhi khoon nikalne laga. Woh aadmi zameen par gir gya or mujhse reham ki bheekh maangne laga maine tooti hui kursi ka tukda uthaaya or uske mooh me daal kar jor se pair ko kursi ke bahar nikle hisse par daba diya jisse kursi ka niche wala hissa jo uske mooh me ghusa hua halak tak ko cheer gya or woh wahi tadap-tadap ke mar gya. Ab maine jaldi se dusri taang par bandhi kursi bhi kholi or kamre me bane bathroom me chala gya khud ke chehre par lage zakham ko dekhne laga phir maine apne sir ko paani se dhoya or chehre par laga khoon saaf kiya. uske baad main jaldi se bahar aaya or security officer wali wardi utaar kar unn mare hue logo ka coat-pent pehan liya kyoki ladayi ke doraan unn logo ka kaafi khoon vardi par lag gya tha. Main haveli ke iss waqt aakhri hisse me khada tha jaha se heena ka kamra kaafi door tha isliye main balcony ke rastey se pipe par latak kar heena ke kamre ki taraf chala gya. Jaha pehle se kaafi ladkiyaan mojud thi or heena ko teiyaar kar rhi thi.
Ab main heena ke kamre me bhi nahi jaa sakta tha isliye pipe ke sahare hi latakta hua aagey ki taraf badhne laga jaha niche mujhe hall or stage nazar aaya jaha par khan betha tha. Unchaayi kafi jada thi isliye main seedha niche chalaang nahi laga sakta tha isliye main idhar udhar koi rassi dekhne laga jisse latak kar main niche tak jaa saku kyoki ab mujhe sirf khan ko hi marna tha. Tabhi mujhe samne ek jhoomar latka hua nazar aaya mujhe bas waha tak kisi bhi tarah se pohonchna tha kyoki waha se stage ki unchayi kaafi kam thi or main asani se chalaang bhi laga sakta tha. maine idhar udhar dekha or pipe ke sahare haveli ki chhat ki taraf badhne laga jisse latak kar main uper ki ek balcony me pohonch gya balcony se jhumar par chalaang lagana asaan tha isliye maine balcony ki railing par pair rakh ke khada ho gya or niche jhumar ke uper chalaang laga di. Jhumar zanjeero se bandha hua tha isliye usne mera wajan to utha liya lekin mere girne se bohot jor ki awaaz hui or kaafi bulb bhi toot gye jisse sabka dheyaan uper ki taraf chala gya.
Chaudhary : oye kon hai uper....
Jhumar se niche ki doori kaafi kam thi isliye maine bina koi jawab diya niche stage par chalaang laga di or main seedha khan ke uper aake gir gya jisse uski kursi toot gyi or khan ko kaafi chot aayi maine jaldi se apne daye pair ko uper uthaya or usme tangi ek pistol nikaal kar khan ke sir par rakh di.
Main : madarchod maine kaha tha naa aaj tu nikaah nahi jahannum qabool karega.
Khan : gun niche kar le shera nahi to mere log yha khade tamaam logo ko maar dalenge.
Main : agar tere ek aadmi ki bhi goli chali to tera bheja yhi bahar nikaal dunga isliye apne kutto se bol bandook niche rakh de nahi to tera postmortem main yhi khade-khade kar dunga.
Khan : (apne logo ko gun niche karne ka ishara karte hue) niche karo...
Main : Yeh hui naa baat chal ab sharafat se mujhe bahar leke chal tujhe to main apne gaav leke jaunga jha sab tera seekh kabaab bnayenge sale...
Tabhi farookh heena ke sir par bandook lagaye seedhiyo se utarta hua nazar aaya.
Farookh : itni jaldi bhi kya hai shera... gun niche kar nahi to teri darling to gyi.
Chaudhary : yeh kya badtameezi hai khan sahab apne aadmi se kaho chhor de meri beti ko nahi to achha nahi hoga.
Khan : waah farookh waah... Chup kar budhe... sale teri beti ke chakkar me hum apni qurbaani to nahi de sakte naa....
Heena : (chalte hue stage ke pass aate hue) Sunn liya abbu.... yhi woh ladka tha naa jo aapne mere liye chuna tha.
Chaudhary : mujhe maaf kar de beti...
Farookh : Oye tum baap-beti apna Drama band karo... shera tujhe suna nahi maine kya bola ghoda niche kar nahi to main iss ladki ko goli maar dunga.
Chaudhary ye sab dekh nahi saka or jaldi se farookh se pistol chhin ne laga. Tabhi khan ne apni jeb se pistol nikaal kar chaudhary ko 3 goli maar di jisse chaudhary wahi zameen par gir gya dher ho gya.
Khan : shera apni pistol niche kar nahi to agli goli heena par chalegi.
Main ab majboor tha isliye chah kar bhi khan par goli nahi chala skata tha isliye apni pistol khan ko de di.
heena : (rote hue) Nahi Neer essa mat karo maar do iss kutte ko isne mere abbu ko mara hai.
Khan ne mujhse pistol le lee or ek zordar tamacha mere mooh par mara tabhi khan ke kuch aadmiyo ne mujhe pichhe se aake pakad liya or ek rassi se dubara mere hath baandh diye. Khan ne apni pistol wapis apni jeb me daali or qaazi ko awaaz lagayi.
Khan : Qaazi sahab kaha hai yaar jaldi karo nikaah nahi karwana kya hmara.
Qaazi : main ladki ki marzi ke khilaaf uski shaadi nahi karwa sakta yeh gunah hai.
Khan : gunah kis baat ka qaazi sahab aap dekhna yeh ladki aapke samne mujhe qabool karegi nahi to main iske aashiq ko goli maar dunga.
Heena : (rote hue) nahi... Neer ko kuch mat karna tum jo bologe main woh karungi.
Khan : dekha qaazi sahab main naa kehta tha... chaliye nikaah ki teiyaari kijiye abhi or bhi bohot se kaam khatam karne hain.
Tabhi pichhe se andha-dhundh goliyaan chalne ki awaaz aane lagi or ek-ek karke khan ke sab aadmiyo par goliyaan chalne lagi. Mujhe yeh samajhte ek pal bhi nahi laga ki mera yaar lala aa gya hai or mere aadmiyo ne poori haveli ko charo taraf se gher liya hai ab haveli ke chappe-chappe par mere aadmi bandook liye khade the or saari baazi hi palat gyi thi.
Lala : (Taali bajate hue) kya baat hai bhai yha to poori mehfil lagi hai lagta hai main waqt par hi aa gya... Maine kaha khaan sahab Salaam qabool kijiye lala ka... agar aap nahi chahte ki main aapki gaand par laat maaru to apne aadmiyo ko pyaar se bolo ki mere bhai or bhabhi ko sharafat se khol de nahi to yeh aapki sehat ke liye achha nahi hoga.... (muskurate hue)
Main : (muskurate hue) kaha mar gya tha sale 5 minute or nahi aata to hmari laashe milni thi tujhe sala koi kaam ka nahi hai tu.....
Lala : (Stage par chadhte hue) Oye kya aadmi hai sala ahsaan to maanta hi nahi kisi ka... Ab phas gya to sara bill mere naam par phaad rha hai... Maine nahi bola tha ki kuch der rukjaa main aa jau phir sath me milkar iss kutte ki gaand maarenge tab to bada chouda hoke akela hi bheed gya tha sabke sath.
Main : achha thik hai ab naatak mat chod or aake mere hath khol.
Lala : (adab se mere samne jhukte hue) Jo hukum mere aakaa...
Uske baad lala ne pehle khaan ko ek zordaar tamacha maara or phir meri rassi bhi khol di. Heena jaldi se bhaag kar mere pass ayi or mere gale se lag kar rone lagi.
Lala : (Muskurate hue heena ko dekh kar) maine kaha salaam qabool karo apne devar ka hone wali bhabhi ji.
Heena : (Mujhe gale se lagaye hue lala ko dekhne lagi) Neer yeh kon hai.
Main : (muskurakar) Mera bachpan ka dost hai
Lala : Chalo khan sahab marne ke liye ready ho jao or Humne to apne gareeb khane me kaafi intezam kiya tha lekin shera bhai ka hukum hai ki aapko thokna hai... Yeh laila majnu ko lage rehne do aap filhaal mere sath hi kaam chalao abhi to sirf main hi aapki maarunga. (khan ki gaand par laat marte hue) chal bhosdi ke dekhta kya hai... Shera ko bhabhi se free hone de teri to yhi maarega... Bol bhai shera iska kya karna hai.... thok doo kya...
Main : Nahi... isko gaadi me daal or leke chal apne thikaane par mera mood badal gya hai ab isko maarenge nahi balki iski maarenge (aankh maarte hue) or phir abhi to isse chhote ke bhi bohot se raaz ugalwane hain.
Lala : (palat te hue) Mujhe aaj tu kuch badla-badla sa lag rha hai yaar...
Main : (muskurate hue) sale mujhe sab kuch yaad aa gya hai...
Lala : (hawa me fire karte hue) Oye yaraa khush kar diya.... bbbuuurrraaahhhhh... Chal tu bhabhi ko leke bahar aaja fir dekhte hain kya karna hai.
Main : tum log chalo main apni gaadi me hi aaunga.
Lala : oye main bahar se hi aaya hoo waha teri gaadi nahi khadi.
Main : yaar meri gaadi haveli ke pichhe khadi hai or sath me mere kuch or log bhi hain jinko sath hi leke jana hai.
Lala : achha to tu chal main zra apne hath ki khujli khatam kar loo.... (Apna hath khujate hue)
Main : thik hai lekin sale jada mat marna yeh apne jaisa nahi hai... zra karaare 4 hath pad gye to mar hi naa jaye....
Lala : (Khan ke mooh par mukka marte hue) tu jaa yaar mujhe disturb mat kar abhi main bussy hoo dekhta nahi itne din baad to kisi ko tasalli se dhone ka moqa mila hai...
Main : achha thik hai lekin 5 minute me bahar aa jana isko lekar jada der nahi karna.
Lala : (Khan ke pet me laat marte hue) tu jaa naa yaar main aa jaunga iske liye to 5 minute bhi bohot hai usme hi iski phat ke hath me aa jayegi... (zor se hastey hue)
Heena apne abbu ko gale laga kar kaafi der roti rhi fir jab maine uske pass jake uske aagey hath badhaya to woh bin kuch bole mera hath pakadkar khadi ho gyi. Maine sabse pehle heena ke aansu saaf kiye uske baad main or heena jaldi se haveli se bahar nikale or haveli ke pichhe ki taraf chale gye jaha par maine apni gaadi khadi ki thi Gaadi ke pass hi mujhe nazi bethi hui nazar aayi jo bar-bar idhar udhar dekh rhi thi uske chehre se mere liye fikar door se hi dikhayi de rhi thi. Mujhe or heena ko door se aata hua dekhkar jaise uska chehra khushi se khil gya Woh tez kamdo ke sath Neer ko god me uthaye hmari taraf badhne lagi or aate hi mujhe gale se laga liya or khushi se muskurane lagi.
Nazi : Kitni der kar di aane me main to bohot darr gyi thi... tum thik to ho naa....
Main : kaisa lagta hoo...
Nazi : Yeh sir me chot kaise lagi...
Main : woh sab jane do yeh thoda bohot to chalta rehta hai ab tum jaldi se gaadi me betho humko hmare naye ghar jana hai.
Nazi : (khush hoke haa me sir hilate hue) Hhhmmm chalo...
Heena : laao chhota Neer mujhe de do or tum aagey bade wale Neer ke sath beth jao.
Uske baad main or naazi aagey beth gye or Neer ko heena ne pakad liya or woh khud hi pichhe beth gyi. Main jaldi se gaadi start ki or usko haveli ke agli taraf le aya or haveli ke bade gate ke samne rok diya jaha mere sathiyo ki gaadiyo ka qafila pehle se mojud tha. Uske baad maine apne aadmiyo se chalne ka ishara kiya or woh log mera ishara pate hi ander gye or lala or khan ko le aaye. Lala ne kuch hi der me khan ki bohot buri halat kar di thi. khan ke chehre se or sir se paani ki taraf khoon tapak rha tha or kuch aadmi usko zameen par ghasitkar laa rhe the.
Main : oye sale maar to nahi diya usko.
Lala : (apna hath rumaal se saaf karte hue) nahi bhai zinda hai kutta... isko to addey par le-jakar tasalli se sab bhai mil kar marenge.
Main : chal gaadi me beth chalne ka waqt ho gya hai.
Lala : (mujhe salute karte hue) Ok boss...
Uske baad hum sab gaadi me bethe or apne gaav, apne ghar ki taraf gaadiyo ke qafile ko badha diya. Heena mujhe kuch udaas lag rhi thi lekin nazi bohot khush thi or apne naye ghar ka sunkar bohot jada excited thi.
Meri gaadi sabse aagey thi or baaki gaadiyan meri gaadi ke pichhe chal rhi thi or kuch fasle par thi kuch hi der me hum apni gaav ki sarhad se kaafi door nikal aaye the. Humko gaav se nikale ab kaafi waqt ho gya tha lekin heena mujhe ab bhi udaas lag rhi thi isliye maine ishare se apne sath bethi naazi ko apne pass kiya or usko pichhe jane ka ishara kiya taaki dono baaten kar sake or heena ka bhi mann behal jaye. Nazi chalti hui gaadi me hi seat ko niche karke pichhe chali gyi or heena ke sath beth gyi or kuch hi der me dono ki baate shuru ho gyi or ab heena bhi pehle se kaafi behtar nazar aa rhi thi. Meri tarqeeb ne apna kam dikha diya tha kyoki 2 aurate ek sath chup to kabhi beth hi nahi sakti isliye bat hona lazmi tha isi tarah heena ka mood bhi ab achha ho gya tha. Ese hi guzarte waqt ke sath hum apni raftaar se manzil ko badh rhe the ki achanak mujhe samne ek check post nazar aayi hum woh cross karke nahi jaa sakte the kyoki hum sab ke pass kaafi asla tha or khan ke sath hone ki wajah se humare pakde jane ka bhi darr tha isliye maine jaldi se apni jeb se apna phone nikala or lala ko phone karke apni gaadi ke pichhe aane ka hukum diya or apni gaadi ko ek jungle ki taraf ghuma diya mere pichhe-pichhe hi baaki gadiya bhi jungle me ghus gyi kuch door jake maine gaadi ko rok diya kyoki mujhe aagey kis taraf jana hai yeh samajh me nahi aa rha tha isliye maine gaadi se bahar nikal kar Lala ki gaadi ko bhi rukne ka ishara kiya mere nazdeek aake uski gadi bhi ruk gyi or lala gaadi se bahar aa gya.
Lala : haa bhai yha bich jungle me kaha le aaya yaar ab aagey kaha jana hai.
Main : yaar aagey check post thi isliye maine gaadi ko jungle me ghuma liya lekin ab aagey kis taraf jana hai yeh mujhe bhi samajh nahi aa rha shayad hum bhatak gye hain.
Lala : loh ji kar lo baat... ab bich jungle me kya karenge yaar din bhi dhalne wala hai essa karte hain wapis chalte hain waha se highway par ho jayenge.
Maian : pagal ho gya hai kya... aagey check post thi isliye to maine gaadi jungle me ghusa di thi or tu phir se wahi jane ki baat kar rha hai ab tak yeh kutte (khan) ke chamche bhi isko dhoondhne nikal pade honge.
Lala : phir kya hai yaar sala darta kon hai apne pass hathiyaar ki kami hai kya sala jo bhi aayega maar kar nikal jayenge or kya chal bhai wapis hi chalte hain.
Abhi hum dono baat hi kar rhe the ki achanak khan gaadi se mooh bahar nikaal kar chillaya...
Khan : kameeno tum yha se zinda nahi jaa sakte tumne mujhe agwa karke apni maut ko daavat di hai abhi tum mujhe jante nahi ho.
Lala : (gusse me ) Arre yaar bhai tu to bhabhi ke sath maze se beth gya or yeh harami ko mere sath daal diya sala bheja khaa gya mera kitna bolta hai yeh.... (apne aadmiyo se) Yaar koi ganda kapda dhoondho iska mooh bandhne ko...
Munna (Hmara aadmi) : Bhai ek hi patti thi woh bhi yeh sala kutta kaat gya or patti phat gyi.
Lala : (kuch sochte hue or hass kar) iska ilaaj to main karta hoo...
Main : (sawaliya nazaro se lala ko dekhte hue) Oye maar mat dena yeh zinda chahiye mujhe samjha abhi isse bohot kuch ugalwana hai.
Lala : bhai fikar mat kar maar kon rha hai mera to kuch or hi mood hai (aankh marte hue).
Main : kya karne lga hai tu...
Lala : (haste hue) Tu bas bhabhi ko gaadi se bahar mat aane dena iski essi-tessi to main karta hoo sala mooh kholne ke layak nahi rahega....
Itna keh kar woh apna joota utarne laga or phir apni zuraab bhi utaar lee or phir se joota pehan liya or apni gandi bad-boo-daar zuraab utha kar ek jhaadi ke pichhe chala gya maine bhi naazi or heena ko gaadi se bahar nikalne se mana kar diya. kuch der baad lala jab hasta hua wapis aaya to uski zuraab geeli thi or usse paani tapak rha tha.
Main : (Hastey hue) yeh kya hai kameene...
Lala : (hastey hue) Iss kutte ka mooh band karne ka ilaaj... Chal bhai mooh khol iska... lage hath dono kaam ho gye sala mera bhi kaafi der se pressure bna hua tha sala pet bhi khaali ho gya or iska bhi ilaaj ho gya.
Lala ke sath bethe aadmiyo ne khan ka mooh pakad liya or jabardasti peshaab se geeli ki hui zuraab khaan ke mooh me daal di or ussi phati hui patti ko dubara uske mooh par baandh diya woh kisi bin paani ki machali ki taraf chat-pata rha tha or apni garden ko hawa me idhar udhar kar rha tha. Sab yeh dekh kar zor-zor se hass rhe the or heena or nazi jo ki ab bhi gaadi me bethi thi woh mujhe sawaliya nazaro se dekh rhi thi.
Heena : kya hua sab hass kyo rhe hain.
Main : (hastey hue) kuch nahi tumhare kaam ki baat nahi hai.... Yaar hum rasta bhatak gye hain aagey kis taraf jana hai samajh nahi aa rha tumko yha se aagey jane ka rasta pta hai kya.
Naazi : (bich me bolte hue) Mujhe pta hai kis taraf jana hai main bachpan me college isi rastey se jaya karti thi.
Main : To pehle btaya kyo nahi kitni der se hum bekaar me bhatak rhe hain.
Naazi : (mooh bnate hue) tumne puchha hi nahi...
Main : Kya yaar tum bhi kamaal ho... (apne saare aadmiyo se) Chalo oye gaadi me betho saare rastey ka pta lag gya hai.
Uske baad sab aadmi wapis gaadiyo me beth gye or khan ko bhi wapis gaadi me daal liya or hum sab Nazi ke btaye rastey par aagey badhne lage or kuch hi der me hum highway par aa gye abhi hume kuch hi der hui thi ki mera phone bajne laga. Maine jeb se phone nikala to screen par rubi likha aa rha tha. Mujhe samajh me nahi aa rha tha ki nazi or heena ke samne rubi se baat kaise karu lekin phone uthana bhi jaruri tha isliye kuch sochkar maine phone utha liya.
Main : Hanji sarkaar hukum kijiye...
Rubi : Kaha ho tum... mujhe phone kyo nahi kiya... maine kaha tha naa pohonch kar mujhe phone kar dena... jante ho kitni fikar ho gyi thi tumhari....
Main : bas... bas... bas... Saans to lelo... ek hi saans me sab kuch puch liya... Yaar mujhe bolna ka moqa to do...
Rubi : thik hai bolo... phone kyo nahi kiya or wapis kab aa rhe ho.
Main : Main kal subah tak wapis aa jaunga or jis kaam ke liye gya tha woh poora ho gya hai...
Rubi : Sachhiii.... kamaal hai itni jaldi wapis aa rhe ho...
Main : tum kaho to 4-5 din or ruk jata hoo
Rubi : Nahi... mere kehne ka woh matlab nahi tha....
Main : achha ek kaam ki baat suno...
Rubi : Hhhmm.... bolo...
Main : mere sath kuch mehmaan bhi aa rhe hain jo hmare ghar me hi rahenge hmare sath...
Rubi : Mehmaan hai to unko haveli me rakho naa ghar laane ki kya jarurat hai.
Main : Arre yaar woh kaam wale mehmaan nahi hai mere mehmaan hai or bohot khaas hai ab se woh bhi hmare sath hi rahenge to tum unn logo ke rehne ka intezaam kar dena thik hai...
Rubi : Hhhmm thik hai lekin tumne yeh to btaya hi nahi kitne log hain.
Main : (hastey hue) 2 aurat hai or ek chhota sa sher bhi hai unke sath.
Rubi : Aurat kon hai...
Main : Arre yaar tumko aake sab btaunga bas abhi jitna keh rha hoo utna kar lo.
Rubi : achha... Jaldi aa jana main intezaar karungi...
Main : Hhhmmm Chalo ab phone rakh do main gaadi chala rha hoo...
Rubi : Uuuhhuu.... kitni baar kaha hai gaadi chalate hue baat naa kiya karo....
Main : tumhara bhi pta nahi chalta yaar phone utha lo to musibat na uthao to musibat...
Rubi : achha ab phone band karo or dheyaan se gaadi chalao.