25-11-2019, 02:49 AM
Date : 22-02-09
11:30 am
Aaj sunday hai, abhi thodi der pehle papa ka phone aaya tha. puch rahe the ki maine sidharth ko shaadi ke liye kyon mana kar diya. shaayad shidharth ne phir se papa se baat ki hogi. aaj majboori mein mujhe papa ko bataana hi pada ki mai sidharth se shaadi nahi kar sakti. maine unhe samjha diya hai ki mai jeendagi ka safar akele taiy karna chaahti hun.
Maine 12 tareek wali baat papa ko bataana theek nahi samjha. Vaise bhi unhe shun kar dukh hi hota.
5:00 pm
abhi thodi der pehle mujhe apne darvaaje ke baahar aahat shunaayi di. Maine turant darvaaje ke paas ja kar dekha to paya ki ek kaagaz ki chit ander sarak rahi hai. main samajh gayi ki ye billu hi hai.
maine turant darvaaja khola aur ushe ushki chit faad kar vaapas de di aur boli, “billu ye naatak band karo. Mere sabar ki bhi koyi sheema hai. main tumhe fir kah rahi hun ki ye sab band karo, varna mai tumhaare khilaaf security officer complaint karungi. Aaj ke baad main yaha koyi chit nahi dekhna chaahti. Agar tumne dubaara aisa kiya to acha nahi hoga. Ab yaha se dafa ho jao”
Vaise kuch ajeeb kiya aaj billu ne. vo aaj bina kuch kahe chupchaap chala gaya. Ushke chehre par aise bhaav the jaise sach mein mujhe bahut pyar karta hai aur apne letter ke tukde dekh kar dukhi hai. Khair mujhe kya lena dena, vo bhaad mein jaaye. I just hate him.
8:00 pm
abhi abhi dipti se baat karke hati hun. jo mujhe shak tha vo yakin mein badalta ja raha hai.
maine dipti ko kavita ke ** wali kahaani bata di. Shun kar vo boli, “tum har baat der se hi bataati ho. Lagta hai tumhaara ish case mein koyi interest nahi hai. khair manish ne to aisa kuch nahi bataaya. Balki vo to kavita ke baare mein kuch ulta hi kah raha tha”
maine pucha, “kya kah raha tha” ?
dipti boli “kah raha tha ki ushne kishi sunita naam ki nurse se baat ki thi. vo kaafi samay se sanjay ke clinic mein hai. tum bhi shaayad ushe jaanti hogi. vo to yahi kah rahi thi ki kavita ka charitra theek nahi tha. ushne yaha tak bataaya hai ki vo ek call girl thi aur ek bade giroh ka hissa thi. billu bhi ushke ish dhande mein shaamil tha. kavita ki harkato ki vajah se hi sanjay ne ushe clinic se nikaal diya tha. pata nahi sach hai ya nahi. manish ko bhi ish baat par vishvaas to nahi hai. par vo kah raha tha ki sunita bahut vishwaas se ye baat kah rahi thi. khair manish to ish kaam par laga hi huva hai. dekhte hai ki sach kya hai. haan par kuch din key liye ushe ye kaam chhod kar kishi dushre case ke shilshiley mein kolkata jaana pad raha hai.”
maine kaha, “ye sach hi hoga dipti, ye billu bahut dhokebaaz aur makkaar hai. ushki bahan bhi ushke jaisi hi hogi. mujhe sunita ki baat par vishwaas hai, vo bhala jhut kyon bolegi”
mujhe yakin hai ki billu ne mujhe fir se jhansa dene ke liye ye kavita ke ** ki kahaani izaad ki hai. taaki vo apne saare kaarnaame ki safaayi de sake. Ushne jo mere saath kiya ushki koyi safaayi nahi di ja sakti. par vo ish had tak gir jaayega ki apni sister ke ** ki kahaani banaayega maine socha bhi nahi tha. vaise vo hai bhi ek number ka kamina, kuch bhi kar sakta hai.
……………..
Date : 01-03-09
dheere dheere main kaamyaab ho rahi hun. billu ab mere peeche nahi aata hai. main aaj subah mandir gayi thi to vo manhush mujhe kahin nahi deekha. mere flat mein ushne chit daalni bhi band kar di hai. haan par kabhi kabhi vo mere flat ke saamne apni taxi ley kar jaroor khada hota hai. soch rahi hun ki ushe jaa kar sabhi kuch bata dun ki mujhe ushki sister ke baare mein sab kuch pata chal gaya hai. par ushki shakal dekhne ka mera bilkul man nahi hai.
…………
Date : 8-03-09
11:30 pm
Aaj achaanak ek bahut bada surprise mila
aaj Sunday tha aur mai ghar par hi thi. subah subah maine har Sunday ki tarah mandir jaane ka fainsala kiya. Mujhe mandir ja kar ek sakun sa milne laga hai, aisa sakun jishe sabdo mein kahna mushkil hai.
Jab mein mandir se baahar aayi to mujhe saamne se billu aata deekhaayi diya. mujhe dekh kar vo aise chonk gaya jaise ki mai achaanak ushe deekh gayi hun. maine man hi man mein kaha kamina kahin ka. Mujhe pura yakin tha ki vo jaroor mera peecha kar raha hoga.
Mujhe dekh kar vo ruk gaya.
Jab mai ushke paas se gujari to vo bola, “ritu thodi der rukogi, bahut jaroori baat karni hai”
“Ab kaun si kahaani banaaoge billu, mujhe sab pata chal gaya hai kavita ke baare mein, tumne mujhe ushke ** ki jhuti kahaani shunaayi hai, hai na, tumse jyada gira huva inshaan maine aaj tak nahi dekha. Vaise jaise tum ho vaisi hi tumhaari bahan hai. mai soch bhi nahi sakti thi ki vo ek call girl hogi. aur tum bhi ushke ish dhande mein shaamil the. Aur tumne mujhe bhi ek bajaaru aurat bana kar chhod diya. ab har kishi ki mere saath ** karne ki himmat ho rahi hai. sab kuch tumhaare kaaran hai. tum ish duniya par bojh ho. Mera bas chale to abhi tumhe goli maar dun. Tum ush din bach gaye. Jara si bhi sharam baaki ho to yaha se chale jao, varna mai ab kuch bhi kar sakti hun” —- maine gusse mein kaha
maine jo dekha ush par mujhe yakin nahi huva. Billu ne kuch nahi kaha aur apni aankhe band kar li. Maine ushki aankho se aanshu tapakte dekhe. Vo bina meri aur dekhe mandir mein chala gaya.
Ek pal ko mujhe laga ki maine kuch jyada hi bol diya. par phir ye bhi laga ki sach bolne mein kya dikkat hai. agar mai galat kah rahi thi to vo khud mujhe jawaab deta. Par ushne kuch nahi kaha. Ishka matlab vo jaanta tha ki mai theek kah rahi hun.
Khair mai seedhi ghar aa gayi.
Ghar aate hi sidharth ka phone aaya.
“Ritu mai tumse milna chaahta hun. ush din ki harkat ke liye sharminda hun, please forgive me mai nashe mein bahak gaya tha. mujhe maaf kar do” —– sidharth ne kaha.
“Mai ish baare mein koyi baat nahi karna chaahti sidharth aur abhi vaise bhi mera mood bahut khraab hai, baad mein baat karenge, aur haan yaha dubaara aane ki himmat mat karna. bahut ho gaya meri jeendagi se majaak. Ab main kuch bardaast nahi karungi… bye” —– maine gusse mein kaha.
…………….
Aur phir mujhe ek surprise mila.
shaam ke koyi 6 baje mere ghar ki bell baji. Mai chonk gayi ki ab kaun aa gaya. Sidharth ko to maine aane ke liye mana kiya hai, fir ye kaun ho sakta hai.
Maine darvaaja khola aur baahar dekhte hi meri aankhe khuli ki khuli rah gayi.
Mere saamne sanjay khada tha. vahi sanjay jishne ek baar bhi mera phone tak nahi uthaaya tha.
“Dekh kya rahi ho, kya ander nahi bulaaogi, kabhi tumhaara pati tha main, kya itni jaldi bhool gayi” — sanjay ne kaha.
“nahi sanjay aisa nahi hai, main bas tumhe yaha dekh kar hairaan hun” —- maine kaha.
“Hona bhi chaahiye, mai tumse milne kabhi nahi aata par pata nahi kyon mere kadam khud-b-khud ish aur kheenche chale aaye” sanjay ne kaha.
Ye kah kar sanjay ander aa gaya aur pure ghar ko dekhne laga or bola, “acha bada ghar hai, kaafi tarakki kar li hai tumne. Tum jaroor khus hogi ye sab paa kar, hai na. Par tumne mujhe barbaad kar diya”
“Sanjay please ab phir se vahi baate mat karo, main khud bahut pareshaan hun. ruko mai kuch peene ko laati hun” —- maine kaha aur kah kar kitchen mein cold drink lene chali gayi.
“mujhe pata chala hai ki vo billu yahi hai, kya abhi bhi tum ushke saath aiyaashi kar rahi ho” —- sanjay ne pucha.
“Sanjay please aisa mat kaho, mai apni galti ki saja bhugat chuki hun. ab baar baar mujhe jaleel mat karo” — maine kaha.
“Main ush haraami ko jeenda nahi chhodunga” — sanjay ne gusse mein kaha.
“Sanjay agar bura na mano to ek baat punchu” —- maine kaha.
“Vaise tumhe kuch puchne ka adhikaar nahi hai, par phir bhi pucho kya puchna hai” —- sanjay ne kaha.
Maine pucha, “ kavita kaha hai sanjay”
“Dekho ushe maine nikaal diya tha. badi bachallan ladki thi vo. She was part of prostitution racket” — sanjay ne kaha
“par tumne ek baar kaha tha ki vo kaam chhod kar chali gayi” —– maine pucha.
“Haan to… itni gandi baat tumhe kaise bataata. Aaj baat dushri hai, tum khud itna gir chuki ho, tumhe ye ganda sach bataaya ja sakta hai” —- sanjay ne kaha.
Samajh nahi aa raha tha ki sanjay ko kya jawaab dun. Vaise vo sach hi kah raha tha. dukh bas ish baat ka tha ki ek paap ki saja mujhe baar baar di ja rahi thi.
“Ritu mera ek kaam karo” — sanjay ne kaha
“kya bataao sanjay, mujhe khusi hogi tumhaare liye kuch bhi karne mein” —- maine kaha.
“Kya tumhe pata hai vo billu kaha milega” —– sanjay ne kaha.
“Sanjay chhodo ushe, ab ush se tumhe kya lena dena. Mai bhi ush se baat nahi karti hun. mujhe nahi pata vo kaha rahta hai” —– maine kaha
“ritu tumhe sab pata hai, mujhe bataana nahi chaahti.vo tumhaara pakka yaar hai….hai na” — sanjay ne kaha.
“Sanjay aisi baat nahi hai please,….. maine apni galti khud swikaar ki thi aur main ab ush se bilkul koyi bhi baat nahi karti hun. haan vo kabhi kabhi mere ghar ke saamne apni taxi ley Kar khada hota hai. par mera yakin karo mera ush se ab koyi sambandh nahi hai.” —- maine kaha.
“Abhi hai kya vo baahar dekho to” —— sanjay ne pucha.
Badi ajeeb baat thi. jaise hi maine khidki khol kar dekha mujhe billu ki taxi deekhayi di. Vo taxi mein baitha tha. maine dekha ki vo kuch leekh raha tha. mujhe yakin tha ki aaj subah ki jhaad ke baad vo yaha nahi aayega par vo phir se taxi ley kar mere ghar ke baahar khada tha.
Maine dekha ki vo gate khol kar baahar aa gaya.
Maine sanjay se kaha, “haan ushki taxi khadi hai”
Maine phir se jhaank kar dekha to paaya ki vo apne haath mein kaagaz ka ek tukda ley kar mere flat ki taraf aa raha hai.
“kya kar raha hai vo” —- sanjay ne pucha
“Sanjay vo yahi ghar ki taraf aa raha hai” —– maine kaha.
“Dekha mai kahta tha na vo tera pakka yaar hai, abhi bhi tumhaara chakkar chal raha hai, mujhe jhut bol rahi thi ki mai ush se baat nahi karti” —– sanjay ne kaha.
“Sanjay ye sach hai ki main ush se baat nahi karti. Vahi mere peeche pada hai. aksar mere ghar mein ek chit daal jaata hai. abhi bhi vahi daalne aa raha hai shaayad. Mera yakin karo mera ush se ab koyi sambandh nahi hai” —- maine kaha
“aane do ushe aaj mai ushki yahi laash beecha dunga, tum aisa karo ushe ander bula lo” sanjay ne kaha
ye kah kar jaane kaha se sanjay ne ek bandook nikaal li
“Kya ?? ye kya kah rahe ho, nahi mujh se ye nahi hoga. Ushe yaha kyon bulaana chaahte ho” —— maine pucha.
“Ush se kuch puraana hisaab chukta karna hai ritu, tumhe nahi lagta ki jishne hamaare ghar ko barbaad kiya ushe saja milni chaahiye” —- sanjay ne kaha.
“Sanjay in sab baato se kya haansil hoga mai ab ush se baat nahi karti hun. mujhe ush se sakht nafrat hai. mai ushe yaha nahi bula sakti” —- maine kaha.
“Tumhe bulaana padega ritu. Agar tum vaakayi mein
Ush se nafrat karti ho to ushe yaha bulaao mai ushe tumhaari aankho ke aage maarunga. Aur tum kishi baat ki chinta mat karo. Tumhaare upar koyi baat nahi aayegi. Ushki laash main theekane laga dunga… ab ushe bulaao….meri khaatir bulaao”
Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya karun.
Maine pucha, “sanjay kya ye sab karna jaroori hai”
“Haan jaroori hai, agar vo bach gaya to umar bhar pareshaan karega. Mai kitchen mein chup raha hun. ushe ander bula lena. Phir mai sambhaal lunga…ok”
sanjay kitchen mein chala gaya. Ushke jaate hi mujhe apne door ke neeche se ek chit sarakti huyi deekhaayi di.
Maine turant darvaaja khola aur ushki aur dekha.
Ek pal ko vakt jaise tahar gaya
Maine ushki aur dekha aur hamaari aankhe ek pal ko takraayi. Ushke chehre par ek dard bhari halki si mushkaan ubhar aayi. Phir maine dhyaan se dekha to paya ki ushki aankhe nam thi. Mai ushe aisi haalat mein dekh kar kuch nahi kah paayi.
Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya karun. Kya mai ushe marne ke liye ander bula lun. Ushne mere liye cycle wale ko maara tha. ushne ush din jangal mein time par aa kar mera ** hone se bhi bachaaya tha.
Man mein yahi vichaar aaya ki billu ko yaha se jaane do ritu. Ye khun kharaba theek nahi hai. mujhe vaise bhi ab billu se kya matlab.
Billu ki aankho ke aanshu mujh par kuch ajeeb sa asar kar rahe the. Pata nahi vo kyon ro raha tha.
Vo mud kar bina kuch kahe chala gaya aur maine darvaaja band kar liya.
Tabhi sanjay kitchen se baahar aa gaya.
Sanjay ne mere gaal par ek jor se thappad rasid kar diya. thappad itni jor ka tha ki mai ladkhada kar gir gayi
“Ye kya kiya haraamzaadi , tune ushe ander kyon nahi bulaaya, dikha diya na tune apna rang. Kya lagta hai vo tera jo tu hamesha mujhe dhoka deti hai. Aaj ushka kaam tamaam, karne ka acha moka tha” —- sanjay ne cheella kar kaha.
“Sanjay mujhe ush se koyi matlab nahi hai, mai ushe yaha nahi ghussne dena chaahti thi” —- maine kaha
sanjay ne mere gaal par ek aur thappad maara aur kaha, “jhut bolti hai saali. marna to ushe hai hi, yaha nahi to kahin aur marega”
ye kah kar sanjay darvaaja khol kar baahar chala gaya.
Kuch der tak mai yu hi padi rahi.
Koyi 15 minut baad maine baahar dekha to paya ki billu ki taxi abhi bhi baahar sadak par khadi thi. par billu kahin nahi deekh raha tha.
Maine dekha ki billu ki chit abhi bhi darvaaje ke paas padi thi. maine ushe faadne key liye haath mein utha liya. par tabhi meri aankho ke saamne billu ki vo dard bhari mushkaan aa gayi. main chaah kar bhi vo letter faad nahi paayi. maine letter bina padhe apni diary mein rakh diya.
11:30 am
Aaj sunday hai, abhi thodi der pehle papa ka phone aaya tha. puch rahe the ki maine sidharth ko shaadi ke liye kyon mana kar diya. shaayad shidharth ne phir se papa se baat ki hogi. aaj majboori mein mujhe papa ko bataana hi pada ki mai sidharth se shaadi nahi kar sakti. maine unhe samjha diya hai ki mai jeendagi ka safar akele taiy karna chaahti hun.
Maine 12 tareek wali baat papa ko bataana theek nahi samjha. Vaise bhi unhe shun kar dukh hi hota.
5:00 pm
abhi thodi der pehle mujhe apne darvaaje ke baahar aahat shunaayi di. Maine turant darvaaje ke paas ja kar dekha to paya ki ek kaagaz ki chit ander sarak rahi hai. main samajh gayi ki ye billu hi hai.
maine turant darvaaja khola aur ushe ushki chit faad kar vaapas de di aur boli, “billu ye naatak band karo. Mere sabar ki bhi koyi sheema hai. main tumhe fir kah rahi hun ki ye sab band karo, varna mai tumhaare khilaaf security officer complaint karungi. Aaj ke baad main yaha koyi chit nahi dekhna chaahti. Agar tumne dubaara aisa kiya to acha nahi hoga. Ab yaha se dafa ho jao”
Vaise kuch ajeeb kiya aaj billu ne. vo aaj bina kuch kahe chupchaap chala gaya. Ushke chehre par aise bhaav the jaise sach mein mujhe bahut pyar karta hai aur apne letter ke tukde dekh kar dukhi hai. Khair mujhe kya lena dena, vo bhaad mein jaaye. I just hate him.
8:00 pm
abhi abhi dipti se baat karke hati hun. jo mujhe shak tha vo yakin mein badalta ja raha hai.
maine dipti ko kavita ke ** wali kahaani bata di. Shun kar vo boli, “tum har baat der se hi bataati ho. Lagta hai tumhaara ish case mein koyi interest nahi hai. khair manish ne to aisa kuch nahi bataaya. Balki vo to kavita ke baare mein kuch ulta hi kah raha tha”
maine pucha, “kya kah raha tha” ?
dipti boli “kah raha tha ki ushne kishi sunita naam ki nurse se baat ki thi. vo kaafi samay se sanjay ke clinic mein hai. tum bhi shaayad ushe jaanti hogi. vo to yahi kah rahi thi ki kavita ka charitra theek nahi tha. ushne yaha tak bataaya hai ki vo ek call girl thi aur ek bade giroh ka hissa thi. billu bhi ushke ish dhande mein shaamil tha. kavita ki harkato ki vajah se hi sanjay ne ushe clinic se nikaal diya tha. pata nahi sach hai ya nahi. manish ko bhi ish baat par vishvaas to nahi hai. par vo kah raha tha ki sunita bahut vishwaas se ye baat kah rahi thi. khair manish to ish kaam par laga hi huva hai. dekhte hai ki sach kya hai. haan par kuch din key liye ushe ye kaam chhod kar kishi dushre case ke shilshiley mein kolkata jaana pad raha hai.”
maine kaha, “ye sach hi hoga dipti, ye billu bahut dhokebaaz aur makkaar hai. ushki bahan bhi ushke jaisi hi hogi. mujhe sunita ki baat par vishwaas hai, vo bhala jhut kyon bolegi”
mujhe yakin hai ki billu ne mujhe fir se jhansa dene ke liye ye kavita ke ** ki kahaani izaad ki hai. taaki vo apne saare kaarnaame ki safaayi de sake. Ushne jo mere saath kiya ushki koyi safaayi nahi di ja sakti. par vo ish had tak gir jaayega ki apni sister ke ** ki kahaani banaayega maine socha bhi nahi tha. vaise vo hai bhi ek number ka kamina, kuch bhi kar sakta hai.
……………..
Date : 01-03-09
dheere dheere main kaamyaab ho rahi hun. billu ab mere peeche nahi aata hai. main aaj subah mandir gayi thi to vo manhush mujhe kahin nahi deekha. mere flat mein ushne chit daalni bhi band kar di hai. haan par kabhi kabhi vo mere flat ke saamne apni taxi ley kar jaroor khada hota hai. soch rahi hun ki ushe jaa kar sabhi kuch bata dun ki mujhe ushki sister ke baare mein sab kuch pata chal gaya hai. par ushki shakal dekhne ka mera bilkul man nahi hai.
…………
Date : 8-03-09
11:30 pm
Aaj achaanak ek bahut bada surprise mila
aaj Sunday tha aur mai ghar par hi thi. subah subah maine har Sunday ki tarah mandir jaane ka fainsala kiya. Mujhe mandir ja kar ek sakun sa milne laga hai, aisa sakun jishe sabdo mein kahna mushkil hai.
Jab mein mandir se baahar aayi to mujhe saamne se billu aata deekhaayi diya. mujhe dekh kar vo aise chonk gaya jaise ki mai achaanak ushe deekh gayi hun. maine man hi man mein kaha kamina kahin ka. Mujhe pura yakin tha ki vo jaroor mera peecha kar raha hoga.
Mujhe dekh kar vo ruk gaya.
Jab mai ushke paas se gujari to vo bola, “ritu thodi der rukogi, bahut jaroori baat karni hai”
“Ab kaun si kahaani banaaoge billu, mujhe sab pata chal gaya hai kavita ke baare mein, tumne mujhe ushke ** ki jhuti kahaani shunaayi hai, hai na, tumse jyada gira huva inshaan maine aaj tak nahi dekha. Vaise jaise tum ho vaisi hi tumhaari bahan hai. mai soch bhi nahi sakti thi ki vo ek call girl hogi. aur tum bhi ushke ish dhande mein shaamil the. Aur tumne mujhe bhi ek bajaaru aurat bana kar chhod diya. ab har kishi ki mere saath ** karne ki himmat ho rahi hai. sab kuch tumhaare kaaran hai. tum ish duniya par bojh ho. Mera bas chale to abhi tumhe goli maar dun. Tum ush din bach gaye. Jara si bhi sharam baaki ho to yaha se chale jao, varna mai ab kuch bhi kar sakti hun” —- maine gusse mein kaha
maine jo dekha ush par mujhe yakin nahi huva. Billu ne kuch nahi kaha aur apni aankhe band kar li. Maine ushki aankho se aanshu tapakte dekhe. Vo bina meri aur dekhe mandir mein chala gaya.
Ek pal ko mujhe laga ki maine kuch jyada hi bol diya. par phir ye bhi laga ki sach bolne mein kya dikkat hai. agar mai galat kah rahi thi to vo khud mujhe jawaab deta. Par ushne kuch nahi kaha. Ishka matlab vo jaanta tha ki mai theek kah rahi hun.
Khair mai seedhi ghar aa gayi.
Ghar aate hi sidharth ka phone aaya.
“Ritu mai tumse milna chaahta hun. ush din ki harkat ke liye sharminda hun, please forgive me mai nashe mein bahak gaya tha. mujhe maaf kar do” —– sidharth ne kaha.
“Mai ish baare mein koyi baat nahi karna chaahti sidharth aur abhi vaise bhi mera mood bahut khraab hai, baad mein baat karenge, aur haan yaha dubaara aane ki himmat mat karna. bahut ho gaya meri jeendagi se majaak. Ab main kuch bardaast nahi karungi… bye” —– maine gusse mein kaha.
…………….
Aur phir mujhe ek surprise mila.
shaam ke koyi 6 baje mere ghar ki bell baji. Mai chonk gayi ki ab kaun aa gaya. Sidharth ko to maine aane ke liye mana kiya hai, fir ye kaun ho sakta hai.
Maine darvaaja khola aur baahar dekhte hi meri aankhe khuli ki khuli rah gayi.
Mere saamne sanjay khada tha. vahi sanjay jishne ek baar bhi mera phone tak nahi uthaaya tha.
“Dekh kya rahi ho, kya ander nahi bulaaogi, kabhi tumhaara pati tha main, kya itni jaldi bhool gayi” — sanjay ne kaha.
“nahi sanjay aisa nahi hai, main bas tumhe yaha dekh kar hairaan hun” —- maine kaha.
“Hona bhi chaahiye, mai tumse milne kabhi nahi aata par pata nahi kyon mere kadam khud-b-khud ish aur kheenche chale aaye” sanjay ne kaha.
Ye kah kar sanjay ander aa gaya aur pure ghar ko dekhne laga or bola, “acha bada ghar hai, kaafi tarakki kar li hai tumne. Tum jaroor khus hogi ye sab paa kar, hai na. Par tumne mujhe barbaad kar diya”
“Sanjay please ab phir se vahi baate mat karo, main khud bahut pareshaan hun. ruko mai kuch peene ko laati hun” —- maine kaha aur kah kar kitchen mein cold drink lene chali gayi.
“mujhe pata chala hai ki vo billu yahi hai, kya abhi bhi tum ushke saath aiyaashi kar rahi ho” —- sanjay ne pucha.
“Sanjay please aisa mat kaho, mai apni galti ki saja bhugat chuki hun. ab baar baar mujhe jaleel mat karo” — maine kaha.
“Main ush haraami ko jeenda nahi chhodunga” — sanjay ne gusse mein kaha.
“Sanjay agar bura na mano to ek baat punchu” —- maine kaha.
“Vaise tumhe kuch puchne ka adhikaar nahi hai, par phir bhi pucho kya puchna hai” —- sanjay ne kaha.
Maine pucha, “ kavita kaha hai sanjay”
“Dekho ushe maine nikaal diya tha. badi bachallan ladki thi vo. She was part of prostitution racket” — sanjay ne kaha
“par tumne ek baar kaha tha ki vo kaam chhod kar chali gayi” —– maine pucha.
“Haan to… itni gandi baat tumhe kaise bataata. Aaj baat dushri hai, tum khud itna gir chuki ho, tumhe ye ganda sach bataaya ja sakta hai” —- sanjay ne kaha.
Samajh nahi aa raha tha ki sanjay ko kya jawaab dun. Vaise vo sach hi kah raha tha. dukh bas ish baat ka tha ki ek paap ki saja mujhe baar baar di ja rahi thi.
“Ritu mera ek kaam karo” — sanjay ne kaha
“kya bataao sanjay, mujhe khusi hogi tumhaare liye kuch bhi karne mein” —- maine kaha.
“Kya tumhe pata hai vo billu kaha milega” —– sanjay ne kaha.
“Sanjay chhodo ushe, ab ush se tumhe kya lena dena. Mai bhi ush se baat nahi karti hun. mujhe nahi pata vo kaha rahta hai” —– maine kaha
“ritu tumhe sab pata hai, mujhe bataana nahi chaahti.vo tumhaara pakka yaar hai….hai na” — sanjay ne kaha.
“Sanjay aisi baat nahi hai please,….. maine apni galti khud swikaar ki thi aur main ab ush se bilkul koyi bhi baat nahi karti hun. haan vo kabhi kabhi mere ghar ke saamne apni taxi ley Kar khada hota hai. par mera yakin karo mera ush se ab koyi sambandh nahi hai.” —- maine kaha.
“Abhi hai kya vo baahar dekho to” —— sanjay ne pucha.
Badi ajeeb baat thi. jaise hi maine khidki khol kar dekha mujhe billu ki taxi deekhayi di. Vo taxi mein baitha tha. maine dekha ki vo kuch leekh raha tha. mujhe yakin tha ki aaj subah ki jhaad ke baad vo yaha nahi aayega par vo phir se taxi ley kar mere ghar ke baahar khada tha.
Maine dekha ki vo gate khol kar baahar aa gaya.
Maine sanjay se kaha, “haan ushki taxi khadi hai”
Maine phir se jhaank kar dekha to paaya ki vo apne haath mein kaagaz ka ek tukda ley kar mere flat ki taraf aa raha hai.
“kya kar raha hai vo” —- sanjay ne pucha
“Sanjay vo yahi ghar ki taraf aa raha hai” —– maine kaha.
“Dekha mai kahta tha na vo tera pakka yaar hai, abhi bhi tumhaara chakkar chal raha hai, mujhe jhut bol rahi thi ki mai ush se baat nahi karti” —– sanjay ne kaha.
“Sanjay ye sach hai ki main ush se baat nahi karti. Vahi mere peeche pada hai. aksar mere ghar mein ek chit daal jaata hai. abhi bhi vahi daalne aa raha hai shaayad. Mera yakin karo mera ush se ab koyi sambandh nahi hai” —- maine kaha
“aane do ushe aaj mai ushki yahi laash beecha dunga, tum aisa karo ushe ander bula lo” sanjay ne kaha
ye kah kar jaane kaha se sanjay ne ek bandook nikaal li
“Kya ?? ye kya kah rahe ho, nahi mujh se ye nahi hoga. Ushe yaha kyon bulaana chaahte ho” —— maine pucha.
“Ush se kuch puraana hisaab chukta karna hai ritu, tumhe nahi lagta ki jishne hamaare ghar ko barbaad kiya ushe saja milni chaahiye” —- sanjay ne kaha.
“Sanjay in sab baato se kya haansil hoga mai ab ush se baat nahi karti hun. mujhe ush se sakht nafrat hai. mai ushe yaha nahi bula sakti” —- maine kaha.
“Tumhe bulaana padega ritu. Agar tum vaakayi mein
Ush se nafrat karti ho to ushe yaha bulaao mai ushe tumhaari aankho ke aage maarunga. Aur tum kishi baat ki chinta mat karo. Tumhaare upar koyi baat nahi aayegi. Ushki laash main theekane laga dunga… ab ushe bulaao….meri khaatir bulaao”
Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya karun.
Maine pucha, “sanjay kya ye sab karna jaroori hai”
“Haan jaroori hai, agar vo bach gaya to umar bhar pareshaan karega. Mai kitchen mein chup raha hun. ushe ander bula lena. Phir mai sambhaal lunga…ok”
sanjay kitchen mein chala gaya. Ushke jaate hi mujhe apne door ke neeche se ek chit sarakti huyi deekhaayi di.
Maine turant darvaaja khola aur ushki aur dekha.
Ek pal ko vakt jaise tahar gaya
Maine ushki aur dekha aur hamaari aankhe ek pal ko takraayi. Ushke chehre par ek dard bhari halki si mushkaan ubhar aayi. Phir maine dhyaan se dekha to paya ki ushki aankhe nam thi. Mai ushe aisi haalat mein dekh kar kuch nahi kah paayi.
Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha ki kya karun. Kya mai ushe marne ke liye ander bula lun. Ushne mere liye cycle wale ko maara tha. ushne ush din jangal mein time par aa kar mera ** hone se bhi bachaaya tha.
Man mein yahi vichaar aaya ki billu ko yaha se jaane do ritu. Ye khun kharaba theek nahi hai. mujhe vaise bhi ab billu se kya matlab.
Billu ki aankho ke aanshu mujh par kuch ajeeb sa asar kar rahe the. Pata nahi vo kyon ro raha tha.
Vo mud kar bina kuch kahe chala gaya aur maine darvaaja band kar liya.
Tabhi sanjay kitchen se baahar aa gaya.
Sanjay ne mere gaal par ek jor se thappad rasid kar diya. thappad itni jor ka tha ki mai ladkhada kar gir gayi
“Ye kya kiya haraamzaadi , tune ushe ander kyon nahi bulaaya, dikha diya na tune apna rang. Kya lagta hai vo tera jo tu hamesha mujhe dhoka deti hai. Aaj ushka kaam tamaam, karne ka acha moka tha” —- sanjay ne cheella kar kaha.
“Sanjay mujhe ush se koyi matlab nahi hai, mai ushe yaha nahi ghussne dena chaahti thi” —- maine kaha
sanjay ne mere gaal par ek aur thappad maara aur kaha, “jhut bolti hai saali. marna to ushe hai hi, yaha nahi to kahin aur marega”
ye kah kar sanjay darvaaja khol kar baahar chala gaya.
Kuch der tak mai yu hi padi rahi.
Koyi 15 minut baad maine baahar dekha to paya ki billu ki taxi abhi bhi baahar sadak par khadi thi. par billu kahin nahi deekh raha tha.
Maine dekha ki billu ki chit abhi bhi darvaaje ke paas padi thi. maine ushe faadne key liye haath mein utha liya. par tabhi meri aankho ke saamne billu ki vo dard bhari mushkaan aa gayi. main chaah kar bhi vo letter faad nahi paayi. maine letter bina padhe apni diary mein rakh diya.
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