25-11-2019, 02:41 AM
abhi tak kahaani vahi ki vahi latki huyi hai. manish ke ghaav bhar gayein hai par vo abhi bhi theek se chalne ki haalat mein nahi nahi.
ye sab baate thi jinke kaaran maine ye diary leekhne ka fainsala kiya. Sanjay se devorce ke baad, frustration mein maine apni ab tak ki kahaani leekh di hai. dekhte hai ki aage kya hota hai.
vaise mai ab sab kuch bhula kar, nayi shuruvaat karna chaahti hun.
aaj mai sapno ke sehar mumbai mein hun, nayi shuruvaat karne ki ish se achi jagah aur kya ho sakti hai.
………………………………
Date : 8-01-09
aaj mujhe office mein koyi aisa mila jishki ki mujhe bilkul ummid nahi thi. sidharth ko vaha dekh kar mai chonk gayi thi
“arey ritu, tum yaha, kaise” — sidharth ne pucha
“mai yaha assisstant manager hun” — maine jawaab diya.
“acha phir to tum meri client huyi” — ushne hanste huve kaha.
“Vo kaise sidharth” — maine hairaani mein pucha.
“Vo aise ki mai tumhaari company ka CA hun, saare financial matters mai hi to sambhaalta hun, khaaskar tax se related” — sidharth ne mujhe samjhaate huve kaha.
Mere liye sanjay se pehle sidharth ka hi rista aaya tha, mujhe vo bahut pasand aaya tha aur maine papa ko ushke liye haan kah di thi. sidharth ne sabhi ke saamne kaha tha ki “mujhe ritu bahut pasand hai, mai ritu ko apni patni bana kar khud ko khusnasib samjhunga”
Hum ne nazro hi nazro mein ek dushre ke liye bahut saare khawaab bun liye the.
Par kishmat ko ye rista manzoor nahi tha.
Sidharth ke papa ne hum dono ki kundali par bawaal khada kar diya.
Unhe kishi jyotishi ne bata diya tha ki ish ladki ke aapke ghar mein aate hi, aap ke ghar mein tabaahi aa jaayegi.
Ishliye rista bante bante bigad gaya.
Ushke baad sidharth ka kayi baar ghar par phone aaya aur vo baar baar mujh se maafi maangta raha.
Vo apne papa ke kaaran bahut sharminda mahsush kar raha tha.
Ek baar ushne mujhe phone kiya aur bola, ritu ek kaam karte hai”
Maine pucha, “kya”
“Mai tum se abhi shaadi karne ko taiyaar hun, bhaad mein jaaye ye kundali ka chakkar. mujhe in baato par bilkul vishvaas nahi hai, chalo kisi mandir mein jaa kar shaadi kar lete hai” —- sidharth ne bade pyar se kaha
ek pal ko mujhe bhi laga ki mujhe ushke saath chal dena chaahiye
par mai apne papa ke khilaaf nahi ja sakti thi.
maine papa ko bata diya tha ki sidharth shaadi karne ke liye taiyaar hai, hamein kya karna chaahiye
papa ne mujhe samjhaaya “tumhaare liye hazaar riste hai beta, tum ushe bhul jao, baat sirf tumhaari aur sidharth ki nahi hai, shaadi mein dau parivaar ek dushre se judte hai. ish tarah jabardasti shaadi karke kuch haansil nahi hoga. Sidharth ke papa tumhe kabhi swikaar nahi karenge”
Maine sidharth ko badi mushkil se mana kiya tha.
“sidharth mere papa nahi maan rahe hai aur mai unki marji ke bina kuch nahi kar sakti” —- maine mayusi mein sidharth se kaha tha
“theek hai ritu, mai tumhe majboor nahi karunga, par tum hamesha mere dil ke karib rahogi” —- sidharth ne emotinal ho kar kaha tha
maine rotey huve phone kaat diya. ush vakt yahi karna theek lag raha tha
ek dam se sidharth ko aaj saamne dekh kar mujhe samajh nahi aaya ki mai kaise react karun, par itna jaroor huva ki ushki yaade meri aankho mein ghum gayi.
maine sidharth se jyada baat nahi ki aur chupchaap apne cabin mein aa gayi. Mai nahi chaahti thi ki vo mujh se meri jeendagi ke baare mein koyi sawaal kare aur mai kisi uljhan mein fans jaaun.
Par thodi der baad sidharth mere cabin mein jhank kar bola, “may I come in ritu madam”
Mai kya karti, ushe ander aane ko kahna hi pada. Vaise bhi vo hamaari company ka CA tha ishliye ush se mujhe milna julna to tha hi.
“Haan to aur bataao kaisi chal rahi hai tumhaari shaadi shuda jeendagi” — sidharth ne pucha.
“Mera divorce ho gaya hai, sidharth” —- maine nazre jhuka kar kaha
“kya, kish bevkoof ne tumhe divorce de diya, tumne diya hai ya phir tumhaare pati ne diya hai” —- sidharth ne pucha.
“Ush se kya farak padta hai, sidharth, sachaayi ye hai ki mera divorce ho chuka hai, bas” maine sidharth ki aur dekhte huve kaha.
“ohh, sorry to hear that” —- sidharth ne chehre par sorry ke bhaav laa kar kaha.
Mai sidharth ke saath ush vakt uncomfortable mahsush kar rahi thi, kyonki mujhe dar tha ki kahi vo divorce ka kaaran na puch ley, kyoni sach bolna mere liye mushkil tha aur jhut mai bol nahi paaungi.
Par achaanak sidharth ka mobile baj utha aur ushne mujhe kaha, “oh mujhe jaana hoga, ek dushre client ka phone aa raha hai.
Ushne jaate jaate kaha, “ritu mai tumhe aaj tak bhula nahi paaya, pata nahi tumhe aaj mujh se mil kar kaisa laga, par mai to bahut bhaavuk ho raha hun”
Maine sidharth ki aankho mein dekha unmein aaj bhi mere liye vahi pyaar nazar aa raha tha.
Maine dheere se pucha, “tumhaari shaadi kaha huyi hai sidharth”
“Kahin nahi, maine ab tak shaadi nahi ki, koyi tumhaare jaisi mili hi nahi” — sidharth ne meri aur dekhte huve kaha
Ye kah kar vo muh pher kar chala gaya, shaayad ushki aankho mein aanshu the.
Mujhe ab ye lag raha hai ki mai kaise roj-roj sidharth ka saamna kar paaungi. Kabhi na kabhi to vo mere divorce ke baare mein puchega hi.
……………………..
date : 15-01-09
aaj jab mai office mein thi to dipti ka phone aaya
ushne mujhe bataaya ki manish kal achaanak faridabad chala gaya.
Maine ush se pucha, “tumne ushe kyo jaane diya, abhi to vo theek se chal bhi nahi pata”
Vo boli, “chalne to vo laga hai, par taango mein abhi bhi kaafi weakness hai, vo bina bataaye vaha chala gaya hai, vaha pahunch kar hi ushne phone kiya tha. mujhe to dar lag raha hai”
“ Dar to mujhe bhi lag raha hai, mai to yahi chaahti thi ki ish investigation ko yahi khatam kiya jaaye” —- maine dipti se kaha
“chaahti to mai bhi yahi hun, par manish ab ishe personally ley raha hai, vo ish case ko solve kiye bina nahi maanega” — dipti ne kaha.
Maine ushe dilaasa diya ki honsala rakho, sab kuch theek hoga.
Mujhe himmat dene waali ladki aaj khud himmat haarti nazar aa rahi thi. ye sab manish ke kaaran hai. vo ushe bahut pyar karne lagi hai.
Jaise hi maine dipti se baat karke phone rakha to sidharth mere cabin mein aa gaya.
Ushne pucha, “aaj shaam ko kya tum free ho”
Maine pucha, “kyo, kya baat hai”
“Kuch nahi soch raha tha aaj tumhe mumbai darshan karva dun, tum pehli baar aayi ho na yaha” —- sidharth ne hanste huve kaha.
Maine kaha, “aaj mera ghumne ka man nahi hai sidharth, phir kabhi dekhenge”
“Kya tum mere liye itna bhi nahi kar sakti, bas tumhaare man ki hi to baat hai, mujhe khusi hogi agar tum mere saath chalo” —- sidharth ne kaha
maine ushe bahut samjhaya par vo nahi maana aur shaam ko office ke baad vo mujhe gate way of India ley gaya.
Vaise gate way of india mere flat ke karib hi tha par jab se mein mumbai aayi thi tab se vaha jaane ka moka hi nahi laga tha.
Sidharth mere liye ice-cream ley aaya aur hum hotel taj ke saamne ghumte huve ice-cream khaane lage. Lag hi nahi raha tha ki taj hotel par kabhi terrorist attack huva tha. sabhi log vaha shaanti se ghum rahe the.
Vo ice-cream khaate khaate mujhe hi dekhe jaa raha tha.
Achaanak ushne kuch aisa pucha ki mai ice-cream khaana bhul gayi.
“ritu, mujh se shaadi karogi” —– ushne mujhe rok kar pucha
mere haath se ice-cream chut kar sadak par gir gayi.
Maine ushki aur dekha, ushki aankhe nam ho rahi thi
“Mai tumhe aaj bhi utna hi chaahta hun, mujhe nahi pata ki tumhaare pati ne tumhe divorce kyo diya aur na hi mai jaan-na chaahta hun, mai bas itna jaanta hun ki mai tumhe pyar karta hun, agar tum ush vakt maan jaati to tum aaj meri hi patni hoti” —– sidharth ne apne rumaal se mere honto par se ice-cream puchte huve kaha.
“Sidharth mai aisa nahi kar sakti, tumhe kaise bataaun….” —- maine ushe samjhaate huve kaha
“kyon nahi kar sakti ritu, tum aaj akeli ho, mai bhi akela hun, mere papa bhi aaj ish duniya mein nahi hai, phir kya dikkat hai. hamaare beech ab koyi nahi hai. please come in my life” — sidharth ne bhaavuk ho kar kaha
“sidharth mai tumhe kaise bataaun, aaj mai vo ritu nahi hun, jish ritu ko tum jaante the, vo ritu kab ki mar chuki hai” —- maine bhaavuk ho kar kaha.
Ye kahte kahte meri aankho mein aanshu aa gaye the
“Ritu ye kya kah rahi ho, please rona band karo, kya mai jaan sakta hun ki baat kya hai” — sidharth ne pucha.
“Maine apne pati ko dhoka diya tha, sidharth, ishliye unhone mujhe divorce de diya hai” — maine nazre jhuka kar kaha.
“Ye kya kah rahi ho ritu, mujhe tumhaari baat par yakin nahi hai, tum phir se koyi bahaana bana rahi ho hai na, par tum chaahe kuch bhi kaho, mai tumse shaandi karne ke liye taiyaar hun” —- sidharth ne hairaani bhare shabdo mein kaha
maine kaha, “chaahe tum jo kaho par sach yahi hai, sidharth, chaaho to tum mere pati sanjay se phone karke puch sakte ho”
sidharth ne kaha, “mujhe kisi se phone karke nahi puchna samjhi, I love you and my love is beyond anything”
mujhe bahut rona aa raha tha, mai sidharth ko kuch bhi samjhaane ki haalat mein nahi thi. vo meri baat shun-ne ko taiyaar bhi nahi tha
maine ushe kaha, “sidharth mujhe ghar jaana hai, baad mein baat karenge theek hai, mai abhi bahut pareshaan hun”
mai taxi ley kar ghar aa gayi aur jab se aayi hun, tab se baar baar mujhe sidharth ka marriage proposal yaad aa raha hai.
ek shaadi to mai theek se neebha nahi paayi fir dushri shaadi ke baare mein kaise soch lun.
Aisa lag raha hai ki vaakayi mein meri kundali mein koyi daush hai, tabhi maine sanjay ki jeendagi barbaad kar di. Ab mai aisa sidharth ke saath nahi kar sakti. ushe kisi aur se shaadi kar leni chaahiye. ishi mein ushki bhalaayi hai.
………………………….
ye sab baate thi jinke kaaran maine ye diary leekhne ka fainsala kiya. Sanjay se devorce ke baad, frustration mein maine apni ab tak ki kahaani leekh di hai. dekhte hai ki aage kya hota hai.
vaise mai ab sab kuch bhula kar, nayi shuruvaat karna chaahti hun.
aaj mai sapno ke sehar mumbai mein hun, nayi shuruvaat karne ki ish se achi jagah aur kya ho sakti hai.
………………………………
Date : 8-01-09
aaj mujhe office mein koyi aisa mila jishki ki mujhe bilkul ummid nahi thi. sidharth ko vaha dekh kar mai chonk gayi thi
“arey ritu, tum yaha, kaise” — sidharth ne pucha
“mai yaha assisstant manager hun” — maine jawaab diya.
“acha phir to tum meri client huyi” — ushne hanste huve kaha.
“Vo kaise sidharth” — maine hairaani mein pucha.
“Vo aise ki mai tumhaari company ka CA hun, saare financial matters mai hi to sambhaalta hun, khaaskar tax se related” — sidharth ne mujhe samjhaate huve kaha.
Mere liye sanjay se pehle sidharth ka hi rista aaya tha, mujhe vo bahut pasand aaya tha aur maine papa ko ushke liye haan kah di thi. sidharth ne sabhi ke saamne kaha tha ki “mujhe ritu bahut pasand hai, mai ritu ko apni patni bana kar khud ko khusnasib samjhunga”
Hum ne nazro hi nazro mein ek dushre ke liye bahut saare khawaab bun liye the.
Par kishmat ko ye rista manzoor nahi tha.
Sidharth ke papa ne hum dono ki kundali par bawaal khada kar diya.
Unhe kishi jyotishi ne bata diya tha ki ish ladki ke aapke ghar mein aate hi, aap ke ghar mein tabaahi aa jaayegi.
Ishliye rista bante bante bigad gaya.
Ushke baad sidharth ka kayi baar ghar par phone aaya aur vo baar baar mujh se maafi maangta raha.
Vo apne papa ke kaaran bahut sharminda mahsush kar raha tha.
Ek baar ushne mujhe phone kiya aur bola, ritu ek kaam karte hai”
Maine pucha, “kya”
“Mai tum se abhi shaadi karne ko taiyaar hun, bhaad mein jaaye ye kundali ka chakkar. mujhe in baato par bilkul vishvaas nahi hai, chalo kisi mandir mein jaa kar shaadi kar lete hai” —- sidharth ne bade pyar se kaha
ek pal ko mujhe bhi laga ki mujhe ushke saath chal dena chaahiye
par mai apne papa ke khilaaf nahi ja sakti thi.
maine papa ko bata diya tha ki sidharth shaadi karne ke liye taiyaar hai, hamein kya karna chaahiye
papa ne mujhe samjhaaya “tumhaare liye hazaar riste hai beta, tum ushe bhul jao, baat sirf tumhaari aur sidharth ki nahi hai, shaadi mein dau parivaar ek dushre se judte hai. ish tarah jabardasti shaadi karke kuch haansil nahi hoga. Sidharth ke papa tumhe kabhi swikaar nahi karenge”
Maine sidharth ko badi mushkil se mana kiya tha.
“sidharth mere papa nahi maan rahe hai aur mai unki marji ke bina kuch nahi kar sakti” —- maine mayusi mein sidharth se kaha tha
“theek hai ritu, mai tumhe majboor nahi karunga, par tum hamesha mere dil ke karib rahogi” —- sidharth ne emotinal ho kar kaha tha
maine rotey huve phone kaat diya. ush vakt yahi karna theek lag raha tha
ek dam se sidharth ko aaj saamne dekh kar mujhe samajh nahi aaya ki mai kaise react karun, par itna jaroor huva ki ushki yaade meri aankho mein ghum gayi.
maine sidharth se jyada baat nahi ki aur chupchaap apne cabin mein aa gayi. Mai nahi chaahti thi ki vo mujh se meri jeendagi ke baare mein koyi sawaal kare aur mai kisi uljhan mein fans jaaun.
Par thodi der baad sidharth mere cabin mein jhank kar bola, “may I come in ritu madam”
Mai kya karti, ushe ander aane ko kahna hi pada. Vaise bhi vo hamaari company ka CA tha ishliye ush se mujhe milna julna to tha hi.
“Haan to aur bataao kaisi chal rahi hai tumhaari shaadi shuda jeendagi” — sidharth ne pucha.
“Mera divorce ho gaya hai, sidharth” —- maine nazre jhuka kar kaha
“kya, kish bevkoof ne tumhe divorce de diya, tumne diya hai ya phir tumhaare pati ne diya hai” —- sidharth ne pucha.
“Ush se kya farak padta hai, sidharth, sachaayi ye hai ki mera divorce ho chuka hai, bas” maine sidharth ki aur dekhte huve kaha.
“ohh, sorry to hear that” —- sidharth ne chehre par sorry ke bhaav laa kar kaha.
Mai sidharth ke saath ush vakt uncomfortable mahsush kar rahi thi, kyonki mujhe dar tha ki kahi vo divorce ka kaaran na puch ley, kyoni sach bolna mere liye mushkil tha aur jhut mai bol nahi paaungi.
Par achaanak sidharth ka mobile baj utha aur ushne mujhe kaha, “oh mujhe jaana hoga, ek dushre client ka phone aa raha hai.
Ushne jaate jaate kaha, “ritu mai tumhe aaj tak bhula nahi paaya, pata nahi tumhe aaj mujh se mil kar kaisa laga, par mai to bahut bhaavuk ho raha hun”
Maine sidharth ki aankho mein dekha unmein aaj bhi mere liye vahi pyaar nazar aa raha tha.
Maine dheere se pucha, “tumhaari shaadi kaha huyi hai sidharth”
“Kahin nahi, maine ab tak shaadi nahi ki, koyi tumhaare jaisi mili hi nahi” — sidharth ne meri aur dekhte huve kaha
Ye kah kar vo muh pher kar chala gaya, shaayad ushki aankho mein aanshu the.
Mujhe ab ye lag raha hai ki mai kaise roj-roj sidharth ka saamna kar paaungi. Kabhi na kabhi to vo mere divorce ke baare mein puchega hi.
……………………..
date : 15-01-09
aaj jab mai office mein thi to dipti ka phone aaya
ushne mujhe bataaya ki manish kal achaanak faridabad chala gaya.
Maine ush se pucha, “tumne ushe kyo jaane diya, abhi to vo theek se chal bhi nahi pata”
Vo boli, “chalne to vo laga hai, par taango mein abhi bhi kaafi weakness hai, vo bina bataaye vaha chala gaya hai, vaha pahunch kar hi ushne phone kiya tha. mujhe to dar lag raha hai”
“ Dar to mujhe bhi lag raha hai, mai to yahi chaahti thi ki ish investigation ko yahi khatam kiya jaaye” —- maine dipti se kaha
“chaahti to mai bhi yahi hun, par manish ab ishe personally ley raha hai, vo ish case ko solve kiye bina nahi maanega” — dipti ne kaha.
Maine ushe dilaasa diya ki honsala rakho, sab kuch theek hoga.
Mujhe himmat dene waali ladki aaj khud himmat haarti nazar aa rahi thi. ye sab manish ke kaaran hai. vo ushe bahut pyar karne lagi hai.
Jaise hi maine dipti se baat karke phone rakha to sidharth mere cabin mein aa gaya.
Ushne pucha, “aaj shaam ko kya tum free ho”
Maine pucha, “kyo, kya baat hai”
“Kuch nahi soch raha tha aaj tumhe mumbai darshan karva dun, tum pehli baar aayi ho na yaha” —- sidharth ne hanste huve kaha.
Maine kaha, “aaj mera ghumne ka man nahi hai sidharth, phir kabhi dekhenge”
“Kya tum mere liye itna bhi nahi kar sakti, bas tumhaare man ki hi to baat hai, mujhe khusi hogi agar tum mere saath chalo” —- sidharth ne kaha
maine ushe bahut samjhaya par vo nahi maana aur shaam ko office ke baad vo mujhe gate way of India ley gaya.
Vaise gate way of india mere flat ke karib hi tha par jab se mein mumbai aayi thi tab se vaha jaane ka moka hi nahi laga tha.
Sidharth mere liye ice-cream ley aaya aur hum hotel taj ke saamne ghumte huve ice-cream khaane lage. Lag hi nahi raha tha ki taj hotel par kabhi terrorist attack huva tha. sabhi log vaha shaanti se ghum rahe the.
Vo ice-cream khaate khaate mujhe hi dekhe jaa raha tha.
Achaanak ushne kuch aisa pucha ki mai ice-cream khaana bhul gayi.
“ritu, mujh se shaadi karogi” —– ushne mujhe rok kar pucha
mere haath se ice-cream chut kar sadak par gir gayi.
Maine ushki aur dekha, ushki aankhe nam ho rahi thi
“Mai tumhe aaj bhi utna hi chaahta hun, mujhe nahi pata ki tumhaare pati ne tumhe divorce kyo diya aur na hi mai jaan-na chaahta hun, mai bas itna jaanta hun ki mai tumhe pyar karta hun, agar tum ush vakt maan jaati to tum aaj meri hi patni hoti” —– sidharth ne apne rumaal se mere honto par se ice-cream puchte huve kaha.
“Sidharth mai aisa nahi kar sakti, tumhe kaise bataaun….” —- maine ushe samjhaate huve kaha
“kyon nahi kar sakti ritu, tum aaj akeli ho, mai bhi akela hun, mere papa bhi aaj ish duniya mein nahi hai, phir kya dikkat hai. hamaare beech ab koyi nahi hai. please come in my life” — sidharth ne bhaavuk ho kar kaha
“sidharth mai tumhe kaise bataaun, aaj mai vo ritu nahi hun, jish ritu ko tum jaante the, vo ritu kab ki mar chuki hai” —- maine bhaavuk ho kar kaha.
Ye kahte kahte meri aankho mein aanshu aa gaye the
“Ritu ye kya kah rahi ho, please rona band karo, kya mai jaan sakta hun ki baat kya hai” — sidharth ne pucha.
“Maine apne pati ko dhoka diya tha, sidharth, ishliye unhone mujhe divorce de diya hai” — maine nazre jhuka kar kaha.
“Ye kya kah rahi ho ritu, mujhe tumhaari baat par yakin nahi hai, tum phir se koyi bahaana bana rahi ho hai na, par tum chaahe kuch bhi kaho, mai tumse shaandi karne ke liye taiyaar hun” —- sidharth ne hairaani bhare shabdo mein kaha
maine kaha, “chaahe tum jo kaho par sach yahi hai, sidharth, chaaho to tum mere pati sanjay se phone karke puch sakte ho”
sidharth ne kaha, “mujhe kisi se phone karke nahi puchna samjhi, I love you and my love is beyond anything”
mujhe bahut rona aa raha tha, mai sidharth ko kuch bhi samjhaane ki haalat mein nahi thi. vo meri baat shun-ne ko taiyaar bhi nahi tha
maine ushe kaha, “sidharth mujhe ghar jaana hai, baad mein baat karenge theek hai, mai abhi bahut pareshaan hun”
mai taxi ley kar ghar aa gayi aur jab se aayi hun, tab se baar baar mujhe sidharth ka marriage proposal yaad aa raha hai.
ek shaadi to mai theek se neebha nahi paayi fir dushri shaadi ke baare mein kaise soch lun.
Aisa lag raha hai ki vaakayi mein meri kundali mein koyi daush hai, tabhi maine sanjay ki jeendagi barbaad kar di. Ab mai aisa sidharth ke saath nahi kar sakti. ushe kisi aur se shaadi kar leni chaahiye. ishi mein ushki bhalaayi hai.
………………………….
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