[rajesh93]

.

 

Just the heartbeat pounding beneath her blouse.
The warmth at her side.
The silent question pressed into her shoulder.
 
Her lips parted again, trembling.
Her fingers, trapped in Amit’s steady hold, twitched, a reflexive gasp without sound.
 
Ravi felt the shift.
Felt the tremor.
Felt the way her breath stumbled against him.
 
He almost pulled back.
Almost.
 
But then, she didn’t stiffen.
She didn’t recoil.
She didn’t lift her shoulder.
She allowed the moment to continue.
 
That small, unspoken permission, silent, terrified, real, made something ache inside him.
 
He breathed quietly.
And the scent of jasmine and sandalwood clung to him, warm and intoxicating.
 
Priya’s eyes fluttered closed for a second, just one second, overwhelmed by the closeness, by the war raging inside her.
 
Amit’s thumb stroked her hand again, tender, unconscious.
Ravi’s breath warmed her shoulder, gentle, aching, alive.
 
Her body felt split in half.
 
One side safe.
One side burning.
One side familiar.
One side forbidden.
One side bound by vows.
One side bound by desire.
 
Her thoughts spiraled, trembling:
 
 
One holding her hand.
One holding her in his breath.
 
 
Her eyes flicked sideways, just enough to meet Ravi’s gaze, then darted back, a stolen, dangerous glance.
 
And in that dark theater, in the flickering glow of the screen, Priya whispered inside her breaking heart:
 
“Please… someone stop me… because I can’t stop myself…”
 
 
 

-- oOo --

 

Wow what a beauty. 



One side safe.
One side burning.
One side familiar.
One side forbidden.
One side bound by vows.
One side bound by desire.

Really poetic

[opendoor]

[RCF]

I have been on vacation for a while so couldn't respond much but have also been investing what little time I have on one another story.

Having said that, Things that keep readers hooked here is speed in story telling. Read my notes below which can help you not just here anywhere else too....

Fast story telling is the key. Genres doesn't matter but adultery is important, you already know that but if story doesn't move its not a page turner. Feelings are very important but at the same time, feelings and expressions for every scene drag the scenes longer hence people will lose interest.
Imagine you are telling a scene where a man seduces a woman in a train while he is standing behind her, the touch, seduction and whispers and feelings all combined should be completed in 2 updates is necessary, In your case given the same premise you extend it to 10-12 episodes so solution is either write it yourself but consolidate into two episodes when you think the purpose is achieved then post it or small updates should move fast.

Another thing I noticed is your story doesn't have lot of depth as much as depth you show in writing it especially the thoughts of the characters and that's commendable and unique about your writing but without a story that engages the writing won't shine even if it is excellently written...take this story for example, Ravi befriends Priya, then two other women comes into his life and he learns many things from them, then he comes back to Priya and now gets her...story might have lot of other things in future but the rate at which it is written so far this is the story...Blend your unique style of writing thoughts into a story that moves fast and moves with a purpose then see how you will become a star with one story here....I insist that you have great talent and its unique as well, I have never seen a writer here who wrote some one's thoughts to such perfection..and I have been here for ages...even old site also taken into consideration.

So do not take my suggestions negatively but think please... easiest solution to in summary

1. Strong story with a screenplay already fixed
2. Longer updates, even though you write short, you keep accumulating it in your notes to take it until you have at least to an extent what 2-3 posts length wise xossipy allows you.

~RCF

[opendoor]

I have been on vacation for a while so couldn't respond much but have also been investing what little time I have on one another story.

Having said that, Things that keep readers hooked here is speed in story telling. Read my notes below which can help you not just here anywhere else too....

Fast story telling is the key. Genres doesn't matter but adultery is important, you already know that but if story doesn't move its not a page turner. Feelings are very important but at the same time, feelings and expressions for every scene drag the scenes longer hence people will lose interest.
Imagine you are telling a scene where a man seduces a woman in a train while he is standing behind her, the touch, seduction and whispers and feelings all combined should be completed in 2 updates is necessary, In your case given the same premise you extend it to 10-12 episodes so solution is either write it yourself but consolidate into two episodes when you think the purpose is achieved then post it or small updates should move fast.

Another thing I noticed is your story doesn't have lot of depth as much as depth you show in writing it especially the thoughts of the characters and that's commendable and unique about your writing but without a story that engages the writing won't shine even if it is excellently written...take this story for example, Ravi befriends Priya, then two other women comes into his life and he learns many things from them, then he comes back to Priya and now gets her...story might have lot of other things in future but the rate at which it is written so far this is the story...Blend your unique style of writing thoughts into a story that moves fast and moves with a purpose then see how you will become a star with one story here....I insist that you have great talent and its unique as well, I have never seen a writer here who wrote some one's thoughts to such perfection..and I have been here for ages...even old site also taken into consideration.

So do not take my suggestions negatively but think please... easiest solution to in summary

1. Strong story with a screenplay already fixed
2. Longer updates, even though you write short, you keep accumulating it in your notes to take it until you have at least to an extent what 2-3 posts length wise xossipy allows you.

~RCF

Bro, even though the question is not directed to me, let me share my views as this is a common issue for many writers ...

Why you become a writer in first place ? You like certain way of story telling character building which you might have not seen much in other writers..so you will start writing for yourself ..you are the first reader of everything you write...many times you write for yourself but not for others . You know others may not like this way but you have almost become addicted to your style you can't come out ..

If I don't enjoy what I am doing I won't like any profession...writing is also like that...as writers we can't change our style and hope readers will start aligning with our style ...when we both are not aligned we get frustrated..but can't help it

This is my 2 cents on this

[rajesh93]

.

 
But her body didn’t listen.
 
And Ravi…
He broke.
 
Just a little.
Just for a second.
 
He leaned in, slow.
Terrified.
Aching.
 
A trembling inch.
A movement that felt like a leap off a cliff.
 
He had imagined the gentleness of a kiss on her cheek.
Soft. Fleeting.
A touch that could carry the weight of everything unsaid.
Without crossing a line that neither of them could cross.
 
It would be enough.
That would be enough.
 
But then she moved.
Just a shift.
A barely perceptible tilt of her face toward him.
An accidental turn.
 
And in that split second…
As if the universe itself had conspired…
His lips brushed hers.
 
A soft, feather-light touch.
Accidental.
A mistake in the most painful, most beautiful way.
 
A kiss that should never have happened.
And yet…
In that fragile moment…
It felt like everything.
 
Priya’s breath caught violently.
Her entire body tensed.
Time froze.
 
Trapped between guilt and an undeniable longing.
Her lips, frozen in place.
Didn’t part.
Didn’t pull away.
But didn’t move forward either.
 
She couldn’t.
She shouldn’t.
And yet…
She stayed there.
 
Wet
Soft.
Fragile.
Impossible to define.
 
A brush of warmth.
A whisper against the lips.
Electric.
 
The taste of her, sudden, fleeting, unforgettable.
A heartbeat suspended.
The world narrowed.
Nothing else existed.
 
Fragility and fire.
Guilt and longing.
A paradox in a single touch.
 
Tender.
Shocking.
Intoxicating.
 
The softness of her lips.
The tremor in her breath.
The shock of connection, unspoken, undeniable.
 
A taste of danger.
A spark of something forbidden.
A first, delicate confession.
 
Time paused.
Their lips continued to dance together.
The theater disappeared.
Nothing remained but the echo of the kiss, warm and electric.
 
Every nerve alight.
Every breath magnified.
Every thought suspended.
 
It was fleeting.
It was eternal.
It was everything they had never allowed themselves to feel.
 
Caught in the taste of his breath.
In the pressure of his lips against hers, soft.
Unexpected.
Too real.
 
“No… no, this is wrong…”
“This can’t happen…”
Her mind screamed.
 
But her body didn’t listen.
Her lips still pressed to his lips.
 
Her heart hammered in her chest.
Her pulse raced like a drumline.
Her senses burned with the shock of something forbidden.
 
Ravi’s pulse stumbled.
His chest tightened.
The world narrowed.
 
Her soft skin of her lips.
Her moist warmth of her lips.
The taste of her so close… yet so far.

.

Wow Shailu,

I never read anything like this before.

A kiss described so sensuous, sensitive, erotic and feels so real and feels so good.


Her soft skin of her lips.
Her moist warmth of her lips.
The taste of her so close… yet so far.


Actually I never felt a kiss this beautiful even when I kissed a girl in real. Your narration felt more beautiful and more tempting than the real kiss I had ever.

Thank you for giving us this feeling.

Keep rocking

[RCF]

Bro, even though the question is not directed to me, let me share my views as this is a common issue for many writers ...

Why you become a writer in first place ? You like certain way of story telling character building which you might have not seen much in other writers..so you will start writing for yourself ..you are the first reader of everything you write...many times you write for yourself but not for others . You know others may not like this way but you have almost become addicted to your style you can't come out ..

If I don't enjoy what I am doing I won't like any profession...writing is also like that...as writers we can't change our style and hope readers will start aligning with our style ...when we both are not aligned we get frustrated..but can't help it

This is my 2 cents on this

That is fine, I am not expecting writers to change their style, here I am suggesting to keep the style and improve the story and consolidate the update for long one instead of small updates. 

Also my suggestions are only there because I appreciate what I read so far...

~RCF

[shailu4ever]

noo please we are big fan for your story please dont go shailuu we are eager for your story telling

HI LovePookie

Thank you for your support. Really appreciate your interest in my stories. 

With warm regards

-- Shailu

[shailu4ever]

Priya

Hi Opendoor Sir

Nice picture

Thank you for your support.

With warm regards

-- Shailu

[shailu4ever]

So shailu firstly let me say that you are an incredible writter, u expresses the feelings in writing such is way more beyond imagination.

What went wrong from my side i feel:

1)The story dragged unnecessary long,

      I know your story has twists and scenes which are plotted differently, but in Priya didi story we had so much expectations but it got delayed, so the same spark was not alive

2) short multiple updates. - i guess people here love big format means consolidated update

3) u use to mention the imagination (background voice) of characters which somewhere feels more and unnecessary. Except in hot moments

4) i know u don't like this- but u too know maximum audience come here to see intimacy. It should be more and bold. U did in your story but after a long time.



I mentioned what I felt. I didn't wrote more appreciation because u deserves always more..!! You are different from others. Hope you will introspect and will never give up!

Hi Amol Sir

I hear what you said about my writing style. 

Thank you for your support. Really appreciate your interest in my stories. 

With warm regards

-- Shailu

[shailu4ever]

Hi Shailu,
 
I’m truly sorry to see you go, it genuinely feels like a loss. Your writing has always stood out to me, and it’s sad that not everyone has had the chance to recognize the depth of your talent. You have a rare gift for storytelling, and your voice is both distinctive and powerful. If this platform hasn’t been the right fit for you, I completely understand your decision, but that doesn’t make your absence any easier.
 
You are, without a doubt, a remarkable writer. The way you craft emotion, atmosphere, and connection in your work is something special. Your ability to engage readers goes far beyond just one genre, you have a natural storytelling instinct that could shine in so many different forms of writing. I truly believe that if you explore other styles, including more general or mainstream storytelling, you could reach an even wider audience and achieve incredible success.
 
I would genuinely love to continue reading your work, wherever your journey takes you next. If you do move to another platform or continue writing elsewhere, please do let me know, I would be more than happy to follow and support your work there.
 
Wishing you all the very best for the future. Keep writing, keep creating, and keep believing in your talent.
 
You have something truly special, and I have no doubt it will take you far.
 
With admiration and best wishes,
Prasanna
 

Hi Prasanna

Thank you very much for your support. Really appreciate your compliments and your continued support. 

I have not decided where to write yet.  But I will definitely let you know when I start writing again. 

With warm regards

-- Shailu

[shailu4ever]

Wow Shailu

The movie scene setup is very exciting and erotic.

You are the best. Please keep rocking.

Hi Rajesh 

Thank you for your support. Really appreciate your compliments.

With warm regards

-- Shailu

[shailu4ever]

Hi Opendoor sir

Wonderful picture again. I truly appreciate your continued support. It really means a lot. 

Thank you once again 

With warm regards

-- Shailu

[shailu4ever]

I have been on vacation for a while so couldn't respond much but have also been investing what little time I have on one another story.

Having said that, Things that keep readers hooked here is speed in story telling. Read my notes below which can help you not just here anywhere else too....

Fast story telling is the key. Genres doesn't matter but adultery is important, you already know that but if story doesn't move its not a page turner. Feelings are very important but at the same time, feelings and expressions for every scene drag the scenes longer hence people will lose interest.
Imagine you are telling a scene where a man seduces a woman in a train while he is standing behind her, the touch, seduction and whispers and feelings all combined should be completed in 2 updates is necessary, In your case given the same premise you extend it to 10-12 episodes so solution is either write it yourself but consolidate into two episodes when you think the purpose is achieved then post it or small updates should move fast.

Another thing I noticed is your story doesn't have lot of depth as much as depth you show in writing it especially the thoughts of the characters and that's commendable and unique about your writing but without a story that engages the writing won't shine even if it is excellently written...take this story for example, Ravi befriends Priya, then two other women comes into his life and he learns many things from them, then he comes back to Priya and now gets her...story might have lot of other things in future but the rate at which it is written so far this is the story...Blend your unique style of writing thoughts into a story that moves fast and moves with a purpose then see how you will become a star with one story here....I insist that you have great talent and its unique as well, I have never seen a writer here who wrote some one's thoughts to such perfection..and I have been here for ages...even old site also taken into consideration.

So do not take my suggestions negatively but think please... easiest solution to in summary

1. Strong story with a screenplay already fixed
2. Longer updates, even though you write short, you keep accumulating it in your notes to take it until you have at least to an extent what 2-3 posts length wise xossipy allows you.

~RCF

Hi RCF Sir

Thank you very much for your compliments and suggestions. 

I truly appreciate your continued support. 

I understand what you are saying, I did what I could within the constraints I have. I acknowledge that I need to learn improve a lot in different areas.

Thank you once again for your support.  

With warm regards.

-- Shailu

[shailu4ever]

Bro, even though the question is not directed to me, let me share my views as this is a common issue for many writers ...

Why you become a writer in first place ? You like certain way of story telling character building which you might have not seen much in other writers..so you will start writing for yourself ..you are the first reader of everything you write...many times you write for yourself but not for others . You know others may not like this way but you have almost become addicted to your style you can't come out ..

If I don't enjoy what I am doing I won't like any profession...writing is also like that...as writers we can't change our style and hope readers will start aligning with our style ...when we both are not aligned we get frustrated..but can't help it

This is my 2 cents on this

Hi Opendoor sir

Thank you for your support and your thoughts. That really means a lot. I totally agree with you, sometimes it is difficult to change what we are. 

I truly appreciate your continued support. 

With warm regards

-- Shailu

[shailu4ever]

Wow Shailu,

I never read anything like this before.

A kiss described so sensuous, sensitive, erotic and feels so real and feels so good.


Her soft skin of her lips.
Her moist warmth of her lips.
The taste of her so close… yet so far.


Actually I never felt a kiss this beautiful even when I kissed a girl in real. Your narration felt more beautiful and more tempting than the real kiss I had ever.

Thank you for giving us this feeling.

Keep rocking

Hi Rajesh

Thank you for your compliments. 

I truly appreciate your continued support. 

With warm regards

-- Shailu

[shailu4ever]

That is fine, I am not expecting writers to change their style, here I am suggesting to keep the style and improve the story and consolidate the update for long one instead of small updates. 

Also my suggestions are only there because I appreciate what I read so far...

~RCF

Hi RCF Sir

Thank you very much for your compliments and suggestions. 

With warm regards.


-- Shailu

[rajesh93]

Dear Shailu,
I rarely wander into the English Stories section, but a couple of days ago your story caught my eye. As a writer myself, curiosity made me click—yet I had no idea that one small click would cost me two days of leave, all my tasks, and every bit of focus I had left.
You are a terrible influence.
I’m sending you the invoice soon—be ready to pay when you receive it.
When I reached page 79, I found myself thinking about how deceptively simple your plot is. A visitor who steps into someone’s home, becomes emotionally entangled with the people there, crosses boundaries of connection and desire… It can be summed up in one or two lines. And yet, you turned those two lines into a story that pulls the reader in line by line, makes them feel, sink into it, live inside it.
Anyone can write a story when they have a plot. But only you can take a simple plot and make it a world—felt, lived, and breathed.
Your grip on language, the flow of your words, your emotional depth—
it’s like the first rain falling on long-dry fields, releasing a fragrance that cannot be forgotten.
Reading you reminded me of emotions I once knew deeply when I was young—before age, duties, and responsibilities slowly turned feelings into actions, and actions into routine. You brought those old emotions back, alive and trembling.
Thank you for writing.
Thank you for experimenting.
Thank you for giving your time to this craft, and for sharing it with us.
Writers like you are rare—diamonds more precious than a Kohinoor—
and we must preserve that brilliance.
Keep writing, Shailu.
Keep mesmerizing your readers.
You have earned one more devoted fan.
And now because of you, I’m visiting the English Stories page every single day.
Remember—you owe me for this.
With admiration,

Well said.

"
Writers like you are rare—diamonds more precious than a Kohinoor—
and we must preserve that brilliance.
"


She is a RARE DIAMOND.  We must preserve that brilliance.

[shailu4ever]

Well said.

"
Writers like you are rare—diamonds more precious than a Kohinoor—
and we must preserve that brilliance.
"


She is a RARE DIAMOND.  We must preserve that brilliance.

Hi Rajesh

Thank you very much for your compliments. It is so nice of you to say that. 

I truly appreciate your continued support. 

With gratitude and warm regards

-- Shailu

[rajesh93]

.

 
The sensation of her tongue meeting his was electric, sparking a fire deep within him. Her taste was sweet, intoxicating, like something he could never get enough of. Slowly, he deepened the kiss, his tongue moving with more confidence, slipping into her mouth, tracing the soft contours of her lips, coaxing hers to meet his. There was a dance between them now, slow at first, hesitant, as their tongues explored each other in gentle, teasing movements.
 

Wow! Just wow!

Very exciting.

[raja2030]

Hi Shailu,
 
I’ve been reading stories on this site for a long time, though I never signed in before. I only came across your work a few days ago, and once I started, I just couldn’t stop… I have been reading this story, whenever I could get a few min of time. Finally, I’ve just finished reading your story.
 
Wow… what a journey. It’s rare to come across something so emotionally rich, sensuous, engaging, and genuinely captivating.  OMG! It is dam erotic and sensuous. Your storytelling feels unique, and it really stands out.
 
You have a special talent, and I truly hope you don’t stop writing. I’m sure more and more people will discover your work over time, it deserves to be found.
 
Like I mentioned, I’ve been around this site for quite a while, but it’s only recently that I found your stories. In fact, I created an account just to write this and ask you not to disappear. Please keep going.
 
It’s unfortunate that your work hasn’t received the attention it deserves yet, but honestly, it’s a hidden gem. People will eventually recognize it.
 
And as someone else mentioned earlier, you really are a rare diamond. It’s important that your work is appreciated for what it is.
 
Just to let you, I have read your story already, but that time, I was not registered, so I could not give you any likes, I will give likes to all the updates I have read so far.
 
Please come back and continue the story. 

What happens to Priya Didi after this?  

What happens with Ravi?  Does she continue the relationship with him?

Looking forward for you to continue this story. 
 
Raja