[val.coutinho]

Good and marvellous update Sean..... It's good that they are recollecting their memories of how their affair started.... But it's unnecessary way of dragging the plot... Sorry to say this but I know it's your way of writing the story.... We all readers were expecting some action.... Like some romantic type of kissing or Hariya telling Anita to kiss his dick and also telling her that they are alone so she can use one of her hole which is her mouth to fulfill his wish.... There is no need of this repeated dialogues.... Atleast move forward with the plot.....

[Rituparna.]

Just superb and mind blowing update!! bahut bahut mast story! Simply the best writings!

[Gangua]

बहुत गरम और बेहद मसालेदार कहानी! आपकी लेखनी रोमांचक और कामुक है! कृपया लिखना जारी रखें।

[seansean007]

Good and marvellous update Sean..... It's good that they are recollecting their memories of how their affair started.... But it's unnecessary way of dragging the plot... Sorry to say this but I know it's your way of writing the story.... We all readers were expecting some action.... Like some romantic type of kissing or Hariya telling Anita to kiss his dick and also telling her that they are alone so she can use one of her hole which is her mouth to fulfill his wish.... There is no need of this repeated dialogues.... Atleast move forward with the plot.....

Thanks for the feedback. I welcome this constructive criticism and agree that the past few updates could have been written in a better way to move the story ahead. Will try to move the story forward now.

[sushilt20]

Nice update

[seansean007]

This is how Anita's figure is, slim waist and big (but not massive) boobs and ass.

[sexypreeti]

Thanks for the feedback. I welcome this constructive criticism and agree that the past few updates could have been written in a better way to move the story ahead. Will try to move the story forward now.

I too agree but was not sure if my comment would be taken in the right spirit because I am a new here...

[rp7575]

1. Sean Thank You For Update Aap time nikal ke story likh rahe hai hamare liye uske liye thank you
2. Anita Ki story aap apne hisab se likho koi jabardasti nahi
3. Hariya ne jo 2 bar gher me anita ko saree ke upper se hi khule lund se dhasu dhakke khaye iske uper bhi ekhad episode likhiye
4. Aur Story me aage badiye aapko jaisa thik lage waisa...per usse pehle anita ko dhakke lagane ka ekhad episode daliye bas itna hi

[M¡Lf€@TeR]

This is how Anita's figure is, slim waist and big (but not massive) boobs and ass.

Sahi hy..  Story track pakdi hy sean paul
Age wala episode me v aisi hi imaginary gandi baat krte Krte makhmali spongy gand se raspan krwao

[srider69]

I guess there is movement now, even if as small as introducing some extra vocabulary into the exchange. Very subtly done, way to go. Seansean, two updates each time would be great to bring some traction

[Teebone1985]

Thanks for the feedback. I welcome this constructive criticism and agree that the past few updates could have been written in a better way to move the story ahead. Will try to move the story forward now.

I may not be in total agreement if they could be written in a better way, the way I think of this is because we are reading them in parts like one update at a time we expect more action in each of the parts, but if we were to read this as a story, as a whole each and every update seems to be perfectly aligned with the other and even though the progress seem slower holistically it feels more complete, for instance the last update had Hariya and Anita talk about the details of having sex in front of others in public. The eroticism of these details really peaked my interest and I was imagining the events as if they were real or may be even something that we can forsee happening in the future as well. Either ways though ur the owner of this masterpiece so I will just follow your lead. Cant wait for hotter updates, but please do bring Ramu along as well.

[val.coutinho]

I may not be in total agreement if they could be written in a better way, the way I think of this is because we are reading them in parts like one update at a time we expect more action in each of the parts, but if we were to read this as a story, as a whole each and every update seems to be perfectly aligned with the other and even though the progress seem slower holistically it feels more complete, for instance the last update had Hariya and Anita talk about the details of having sex in front of others in public. The eroticism of these details really peaked my interest and I was imagining the events as if they were real or may be even something that we can forsee happening in the future as well. Either ways though ur the owner of this masterpiece so I will just follow your lead. Cant wait for hotter updates, but please do bring Ramu along as well.

Hey there Teebone,
Agreed to your comment but please don't feel bad of what I'm going to reply here....
You might be right but not totally or fully.... You see if you print the update and put it up like a book and you start reading it from the start or say 3 updates from the behind the current one... You will find it repetitive.... Which is prolonging the story and the plot.... Hariya and Anita recollecting their memories from where they met and how they got attracted and the erotic scenario created is excellent..... But thinking logically..... Which woman would like to get fucked in public ???? That too looking into the eyes of the on-lookers ??? I don't think even the highest paid prostitute will do that.... Anyways my POV is that the last update prolonged it.... Rather if the conversation would jump to ice cream licking and sucking after the recollection of cock showing by Hariya..... He can praise Anita by saying he loved to look at the way she sucked into the ice cream... And he will love to look at her again sick his cock like that ice cream or she tells Hariya that she's getting late to go home and we end the chapter here and continue the erotic get together in the new chapter/update...... Maybe then the plot and the story will move ahead... Rather than getting into repeated scenarios.

[Teebone1985]

Hey there Teebone,
Agreed to your comment but please don't feel bad of what I'm going to reply here....
You might be right but not totally or fully.... You see if you print the update and put it up like a book and you start reading it from the start or say 3 updates from the behind the current one... You will find it repetitive.... Which is prolonging the story and the plot.... Hariya and Anita recollecting their memories from where they met and how they got attracted and the erotic scenario created is excellent..... But thinking logically..... Which woman would like to get fucked in public ???? That too looking into the eyes of the on-lookers ??? I don't think even the highest paid prostitute will do that.... Anyways my POV is that the last update prolonged it.... Rather if the conversation would jump to ice cream licking and sucking after the recollection of cock showing by Hariya..... He can praise Anita by saying he loved to look at the way she sucked into the ice cream... And he will love to look at her again sick his cock like that ice cream or she tells Hariya that she's getting late to go home and we end the chapter here and continue the erotic get together in the new chapter/update...... Maybe then the plot and the story will move ahead... Rather than getting into repeated scenarios.

I feel you man, no worries at all, I don't feel bad at all, we both have been a big fan of this story consistently so we are in the same boat and we both want the story to progress and keep making us fall in love with it again and again with each of its updates

[Ramva]

Fir ekbar maza aane laga padne me

[val.coutinho]

when is the update going to come ??

[Spnize]

Main ek story likh raha hun agar aaplogo ko stoy achhi Lage toh update aate rahenge

Ek baar check zarur kijiye

https://xossipy.com/thread-67516-post-58...pid5884402

[val.coutinho]

Main ek story likh raha hun agar aaplogo ko stoy achhi Lage toh update aate rahenge

Ek baar check zarur kijiye

https://xossipy.com/thread-67516-post-58...pid5884402

Ji Huzur.... Jarur check karenge aur uspar apne comments bhi denge

[val.coutinho]

Aaj weekend ho gaya aur abhi tak koi update nahi.... Kab aayega update??

[Ramva]

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[Ramva]