22-07-2024, 03:32 AM
Nice story
(22-07-2024, 12:58 AM)Marishka Wrote: Likhte acche ho. But sentence proper nahi hai.
Sab mix kar dete ho.
Thoda bich bich me space bhi rakho aur spell correction bhi karo.
Aur thoda situation pura discribe karke likho.
Ek do din me hi buddhe ke liye softcore mat banao.
Thoda seduction lao.. Ahmed ko hero banna hai to sandhya ko khub tadpao.. Usi tarah tamanna ko bhi.
Sandhya ka pati usko physical satisfaction naa de sake.. Aur ye baat Ahmed ko pata chale.. Aur usi baat ka wo bharpur fayda uthaye.
Thoda deeply likho.. Tab maja aayega.
Keep it up.. ??
![[Image: images-15.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/4FNX10G/images-15.jpg)
![[Image: images-15.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/L0pcNsW/images-15.jpg)
![[Image: images.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/3yNTDMP/images.jpg)
(23-07-2024, 08:08 AM)Amino Wrote: Achi update hai but story ko kya phir se start hua Aisa lag raha hai lagta hai main plot ab shuru hua hai
(23-07-2024, 01:09 PM)Hukumm....!!! Wrote: Ha Bhai..
Story ki main line tho ab shuru Hui..
Sab log ek ek tarikhe se shuru karte he .. aur me bhi Aisa shuru kar Diya ki..
Charcters ko jaldi adapt kar sake...
(23-07-2024, 06:40 PM)Dongmaster35 Wrote: Are bhaaiii....full story hi change hogya kya. Pahadi jagah se mumbai. Suraj ka character gayab. Ahmad aur sandhya ke beech chemistry abhi shuru hua. Suddenly total kahani badal gyi. Yeh kya twist h ?