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Is that any story like this story' "MAIDS CONSPIRACY"please suggest name
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(11-01-2024, 04:03 AM)critic_honest Wrote: Dear Author, I randomly just went through this story of yours and saw that its your first story. My wishes for you :)
Although I am still reading the PART 8 at the moment and I know I am quite late in giving the initial suggestions for the story but still I have a few, if you're keen to accept.
Honestly when I started reading this story and was finishing PART 1, I genuinely felt that finally after so long I've luckily come across a story which sounds to have a great potential to turn into a masterpiece story. I must say your story's initial buildup was excellent and quite grasping.
The story's concept, the dialogs, the storyline, the characters and mainly the conversation between them looks so genuine. I was total bang on.
It Looked as if I am reading some mature author whose idea of the story is to give it a realistic approach but but but sorry to say soon my expectations started dropping when I was finishing PART 2.
Right now I am on chapter 8 mid and I can already predict what would happen next. You are already on the path to make Aditi a slutty character which I was most afraid of, and trust me this would turn out to be the downfall of the story which would make the story of grade b type.
In the starting, you showed that Aditi is today's generation modern and educated woman who actually loves her husband and is very loyal kind but just after watching a single video made her weak to a level that she started imagining Anna in her dreams in first go itself. But still giving it benefit of doubt and assuming its okay as it could be natural for a loyal human as well if one sees that kind of exotic stuff but what you ruined in that was the sexual relation of Aditi and her Husband. Was it really necessary to show that Aditi's husband is so so soft or bad at sex? You are already showing as if Aditi has very bad sex life which actually show that Aditi will be an easy target. You shouldn't have to show their sex life so dull.
In PART 6 itself, she has started losing her personality and has no objection in mating with Anna on those stairs. Although its not happened in actual but still we get an idea that she has already lost the battle of maintaining her strong character which we all were proud of a moment before. She is opening accepting to make out with Anna in front of Meena. I'm worried, in the next few episodes Aditi herself would start using that crude language, & then nothing will be left in the story as there won't remain any difference between Aditi or Meera or Nalini. Trust me slutty characters are never exciting. You're making her too easy to get in such a short span of time.
Also, I think you now are rotating the story too much on the base of those sex videos and it has started becoming boring a bit. It looks as if Meena will do the complete work of manipulation and changing Aditi's mindset on the basis of those videos itself and Anna will get Aditi as a easy wrapped gift without doing much. The seduction process is looking too easy now and Aditi is looking like a warrior who has already lost the battle. she has already become easy in eyes of MEENA which shouldn't have happened so early. Aditi now has no objection to anything MEENA says, she even was cool when MEENA bought another MMS of nalini. How can one change so quickly. Strange !!
Its looks as if even the character NALINI is also being forced to change ADITI's perception of mind. Which Mother in law laughs when her own son's wife is being talked about being fucked. At least she should raise some real concern there but nothing comes from her.
Sorry but It now has slowly started looking like a porn instead of sex story now where things happen illogically.
I think you should give some twists and show Aditi a tuff character who is not that easy to seduce. May be, she somehow gets to know that Meena is the culprit and she is manipulating he working alongside with Anna. Things would definitely change from there and it would become tuff job for Anna to get Aditi after that. This would make the story interesting and hard to predict. This was just an idea as I'm sure you would have many others in your talented mind.
I have a few pointers for any story if you'd like to apply them:
1. Most stories here on Xossipy have that same centuries old plot, making it very pathetic and boring.
Step 1 > Husband will be shown loving but quite weak in sex who climaxes too early in bed but his wife will have a very high sex libido, thus husband keeping her physically unsatisfied. This approach eventually makes it very predictable that soon wife is going to get seduced. [In our story it looks a bit like that]
Step 2> Then, slowly the wife after getting seduced easily by someone slowly turn into a whore character who doesn't even care of her husband anymore. Worse, wife & lover sometimes even start humiliating the husband. End of the story. Right ?
Honestly, this plot is so common and so pathetic. Please don't follow the same approach in your story as well.
2. Always remember you are writing a sex story and not writing some porn script where things happen illogically at very fast pace. Always make your plots & circumstances sound realistic. Making Aditi weak and easy each and every time should not be the objective.
3. Its always fun and exciting when wife and husband are madly in love and are happy with each other in every aspect of life including sex. Real excitement unfolds when, even if at this 'all good stage', things change & wife still gets slowly seduced somehow. Let's see how you do it?
keeping my fingers crossed]
Seducing a Loyal, tuff and a strong character woman is an art in itself and far far more exciting than the woman who is quite easy & readily available and desperate for attention of other men.
> Here till now personality of Aditi was shown strong & she looks like a perfect wife wife till now. Fingers cross how her personality turns out to be.
4. Please don't ever turn ADITI into some characterless cock hungry betraying slut woman who easily opens her legs. Use logics in your story plot which are hard to question. Make the situations look realistic which you are actually doing till now.
Circumstances should always look realistic. Avoid illogical sex scripts.
If ADITI is displayed as a loyal, strong character and a loving wife then it would be always hard for ANNA to get into her pants which is the real fun. This would create more interest in the story. Make her hard to get. Make her strong in eyes of MEENA.
Even if she gets intimate withy ANNA in some unavoidable situation, don't change her character in to some cheap whore which would make her easier to bed again. Maintain her dignity at all costs so that its always difficult to get her.
Don't ever snatch away the love and respect between the couple Aditi and her Husband because that makes the woman vulnerable and easy to get. Every one loves a woman who is devoted to love.
3. Never be in a hurry to make ADITI fuck by ANNA. Always remember, the day ADITI gets fucked, it would steal away some excitement for sure because that will make readers assume that, now she has become easy target to get. So take your time and build your story. Think it through and turn into a beautiful story. Small incidents should keep happening keeping us readers on edge which would slowly move towards its goal.
Otherwise it would be just like watching a porn which is useless.
4. One final suggestion. please story listening to each and every reader. Remember its you who started the story so just go with the slow place. Don't be in a hurry to give steamy sex till its actually required.
Always Remember, its an erotic story and not some cheap porn.
I hope that helps. My best wishes for you.
Thanks
Dear story writer, you are outstanding, i have read so many stories here, but you are the superb till date, your story telling is very touchy and full of emotion, but i am totally agree with **critic_honest** whatever points he has mentioned is very good and necessary for masterpiece, whatever i was feeling the same points mr. **Critic_honest** mentioned, i hope you will keep it mind and make a masterpiece. Thank u
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Aditi se Pehle spruha ki choot me jayega anna ka ganna
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Bhai kb update doge aap koi date time kch to aap bta do daily wait krta hu update ka bro achi story h esilia wait ni hota
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Update bro.
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Best story bro ?.. pls try to give regular update.. excellent writing skills..
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23-01-2024, 07:49 AM
(This post was last modified: 04-09-2026, 11:55 PM by Nostalgic. Edited 2 times in total. Edited 2 times in total.)
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23-01-2024, 08:01 AM
(This post was last modified: 04-09-2026, 11:55 PM by Nostalgic. Edited 2 times in total. Edited 2 times in total.)
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The following 15 users Like Nostalgic's post:15 users Like Nostalgic's post
• Allrounder, Amit2021msm, coolguy, DasuLucky, Dreamybuzz, KingRocks, koolme98, Mande, M¡Lf€@TeR, qazmlp, Rizzi1198, spica308, Vijay42, Vinikalludi, WriterPK
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27-01-2024, 12:46 AM
(This post was last modified: 27-01-2024, 12:48 AM by Big_Bang. Edited 1 time in total. Edited 1 time in total.)
If Spruha didn't save Aditi's chastity by sacrificing her own pussy then Aditi would be fuking Anna bad in subsequent episodes. But anyways as I said it is precious epic we are witnessing, let us wait and enjoy some reluctant fun between Aditi and Anna. Cheers!
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27-01-2024, 01:22 AM
(This post was last modified: 27-01-2024, 01:23 AM by WriterPK. Edited 1 time in total. Edited 1 time in total.)
Great.. best story.. I request you to add a new black boy or ugly black student character to seduce aditi.. it would be more fun.. she can tease anna.. just request only bro . All your wish.. your writing skills is best.. you are too good in giving regular updates. If you give regular updates means that all the characters will be fresh.. pls continue this good work.. you are rocking..
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simply outstanding.....
sheer....brilliance....
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(27-01-2024, 01:22 AM)WriterPK Wrote: Great.. best story.. I request you to add a new black boy or ugly black student character to seduce aditi.. it would be more fun.. she can tease anna.. just request only bro . All your wish.. your writing skills is best.. you are too good in giving regular updates. If you give regular updates means that all the characters will be fresh.. pls continue this good work.. you are rocking..
Good suggestion bas black means negro na ho real nahi lagega...
Writer ne bahut ache se Bhiva ko introduce kiya hai
Uska aur Aditi ka terrace wala encounter jabb aayega sab se badhiya hoga wo part story ka..
And writer is really placing small hints ki Anna ko Aditi nshi milegi aur Uska katega ..
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This story is amazing..
Can anyone suggest me another story same like this story line..
Other than Heavelny Angel ???
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@nostalic , we luvd ur free styl approach . Just get on w ur natural flow. Dont think too much. Simply Entertain urself & we ll b quite happy w what we get
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