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Venumadhav · 29-10-2023, 08:38 PM

Nice update

kartheek_raju · 29-10-2023, 10:30 PM

(29-10-2023, 06:45 PM)Anagaraju Wrote: nice story. edi nijam ga jariginda leka story na andi?

Hi andi, idhi 70 shaatham real 30 shaatham scenes nenu liberty theeskunnanu indhulo unde perlu kuda chaala shaath real gane unchaanu, amma ippatiki relation lo undi

Bellakaya · 29-10-2023, 11:41 PM

Episode is quite somewhat dramatic which I felt , why because of the narration.
From the very beginning the narrator is the son who is narrating the story, here coming to this episode he has to co-relate the incidents and talk about the present and go back to previous state like a little sort of flashback and again coming to the present state felt me in that way. Narration perspective it is good and going smoothly but those words what Ahmed has spoke to the heroine of the story is quite connecting and giving some sort of positive vibes to open up from heroine perspective which happened very fast which is very fast approach. If you could have blend a little bit of conversation and the magic moments happening there would have been a Bonanza to the story and would help in building the strong base.

I hope I haven't disappointed anyone with the above statement. If anyone feels that I am wrong , please excuse me and I also apologize for hurting the feelings of the other readers.

Happy reading and writing...

A good episode.

sri7869 · 29-10-2023, 11:43 PM

Nice update

kartheek_raju · 30-10-2023, 12:35 AM

(29-10-2023, 11:41 PM)Bellakaya Wrote: Episode is quite somewhat dramatic which I felt , why because of the narration.
From the very beginning the narrator is the son who is narrating the story, here coming to this episode he has to co-relate the incidents and talk about the present and go back to previous state like a little sort of flashback and again coming to the present state felt me in that way. Narration perspective it is good and going smoothly but those words what Ahmed has spoke to the heroine of the story is quite connecting and giving some sort of positive vibes to open up from heroine perspective which happened very fast which is very fast approach. If you could have blend a little bit of conversation and the magic moments happening there would have been a Bonanza to the story and would help in building the strong base.

I hope I haven't disappointed anyone with the above statement. If anyone feels that I am wrong , please excuse me and I also apologize for hurting the feelings of the other readers.

Happy reading and writing...

A good episode.

Hi, firstly thank you so much.. this gave me more boost. As a writer I'm so happy that one who read and the reader took initiative to suggest to improvise the narration.. thanks a lot brother.

Yes i felt that what you are saying. But as this is mostly real experience where my mother kumari is in relation with owner son I'm explaining what happened truly most of the times an couldn't created much drama..but I'm taking you suggestion so happily will improve in that area

Anagaraju · 30-10-2023, 01:08 AM

(29-10-2023, 10:30 PM)kartheek_raju Wrote: Hi andi, idhi 70 shaatham real 30 shaatham scenes nenu liberty theeskunnanu indhulo unde perlu kuda chaala shaath real gane unchaanu, amma ippatiki relation lo undi

Vadu ne amma ni pelli chesukunadaa? Leka vadukoni vodilesadaa? Nuv dengava dani?

Ne amma kuda netho vochi ani pachi ga open ga clear ga neku chepatham netho panchukovatam lantivi vuntey enka baguntadi. like akada touch chesadu avi patukunadu ala pisikadu apudu daniki aa feelings vochaye ani kodukutho share chesukuntu vadini pakalo paduko peytukoni vadi chepi chesthu vadiki chupinchi chesthu vuntey enka baguntadi. Like pic send cheysetapudu koduu ki phn echi edi saree piyta tesi boddu ni photo tesi pampinchara ani chepthey enka baguntadi kada. Apudu koduku modda levatam chusi. Anti ra ne thalini chusi neku modda lechindi nuv denguthava ra ani vadi modda ni patukovatam etc

Alochinchandi. Tappu ithey sorry