16-07-2021, 04:25 PM
Kahan ho bhai waiting update
Indian Private Cams | Porn Videos: Recently Featured XXXX | Most Popular Videos | Latest Videos | Indian porn sites Sex Stories: english sex stories | tamil sex stories | malayalam sex stories | telugu sex stories | hindi sex stories | punjabi sex stories | bengali sex stories
|
Adultery Shazia ek khilona
|
|
17-07-2021, 08:38 PM
Kya hua dost... Gaayab hone ka iraada hai kya.... Waiting for update
19-07-2021, 12:41 PM
(15-07-2021, 11:34 PM)Newdevil Wrote: I will again say that Don't try to fulfill each & everyone wish otherwise phirse se demotivation aa jayegi... Write whatever you think is correct as per story line... haan thoda bahut suggestion and kinky advices kaam aa jati hai... this is fictional story overall aur jisko apne according storyline chahiye wo khud hi apni story likh le to usko bhi pata lagega ki kya kya problem aati hai ek writer ko... baaki aur bhi bahut si stories hai forum par padhne ko... Write something different from other stories jaisa ki tumne ab tak likha hai... Rest is your wish and again don't get demotivated by comments. Bahut si stories forum par incomplete hai because ya to writer readers ke comments se demotivate ho gaya ya phir usne comments ko serious lekar story likhi jisse usne apna track bhi bigaad diya.... Ap ki baat se pura sahmat ho kintu jab mai likhta ho aur story sahi chalti hai to kuch cmmt aate hai Accha lagta hai par kuch new karne ke chakkar mai kahani bigad jati hai... Wohi mere sath hota hai to mai nirash ho jata ho... Aur jab sab ko khush nahi kar pata to story tatkal band kar deta ho... Bahot mahnat lagti hai story banane mai par ek cmmt sari mahnat par pani dal deta hai... Abhi watchman wala episode sab ko pasand nahi aaya pm mai bataya par mai direct waha se story ki line end nahi kar sakta...... Isliye man nahi kar raha ab aage likhne ko
19-07-2021, 12:44 PM
(16-07-2021, 03:53 PM)Fuckstar Wrote: Bhai please please please HARAMI BALAM or HAWAS OR KHOON ko continue kro Wohi soch raha tha mai ki hawas aur khoon ko pura karo ya harami balam ko let's see ye episode likhta ho agar sahi chala to thik warna ye bhi mere adhuri kahani mai se ek hogi.... Aur aage shayad na likh pao aur hamesha ke liye mai is foam se alwida kar do... 
19-07-2021, 02:06 PM
(19-07-2021, 12:44 PM)Lion King 989 Wrote: Wohi soch raha tha mai ki hawas aur khoon ko pura karo ya harami balam ko let's see ye episode likhta ho agar sahi chala to thik warna ye bhi mere adhuri kahani mai se ek hogi.... Aur aage shayad na likh pao aur hamesha ke liye mai is foam se alwida kar do... Asa zulm na karna lion bhai hum to apku story ko bht enjoy karty han apka bina ye forum adhura lagta hai plz continue
19-07-2021, 02:08 PM
(19-07-2021, 12:44 PM)Lion King 989 Wrote: Wohi soch raha tha mai ki hawas aur khoon ko pura karo ya harami balam ko let's see ye episode likhta ho agar sahi chala to thik warna ye bhi mere adhuri kahani mai se ek hogi.... Aur aage shayad na likh pao aur hamesha ke liye mai is foam se alwida kar do... Who said we didn't like watchman episode..you are the best writer here..baki purani stories obsolete ho gayi gai..dobara same cheez pe dhyaan dene se accha naya hi likho...kubda wala story was nice.. This is also good...not sure aap kaise demotivate ho gaye.. Bhiku wala part in this story was new and good..so was dhobhi wala...we will wait for you to continue this story till end..
19-07-2021, 02:34 PM
Mota watchman chuchi pakda hua tha aur woh apna hath shazia ke jhang ke traf le jata hai aur kuch apne finger touch karta hai....
Shazia ko ye ahsas hota hai par woh kuch nahi kahti ye dekh us mote ki himmat badne lagti hai.... Aur woh apna hath pura shazia ke jhang par rakh kar aaram aaram se sahlane lagta hai..... S...ab kaisa lag raha hai... Bahot accha mamsahib.... S.. Ab to mere boobs Chhodo.... Ye sunkar woh Mota aaram aaram se boobs Chhod deta hai..... Aur kahta hai mamsahib ap bahot acchi hai.... S... Accha ek Baat batao ye tum pooja mamsahib ke bare mai kiya jante ho... Woh Mota jhang sahlta hua kahta hai ki..... Mamsahib pooja madam bahot hi acchi hau khubsurat to hai hi par woh zyada kisi se Baat nahi karti ha mujhse zaroor kuch baate kar leti hai.... Par woh kuch alag mizaz ki hai kab moond aacha ho kab kharab ye pata nahi.... Tabhi kuch aur aage baat hoti hai ki tabhi shazia ke door bell bar bar bajna shuru hoti hai.... Dono thoda hadbada jate hai aur shazia apne ko sahi karte door kholti hai Mota bhi piche aata hai.... Door kholne par samne 20 sal ka ladka hadbada hua kahta hai ki watchman kaka kaha hai woh upper aaye the na.... Tab watchman bhi aata hai.... Woh ladka pant ka kam karta tha use watchman ne niche rok kar yaha shazia ke light kharab hone ki baat kah kar upper aaya tha.... Watchman ke aate hi woh kahta hai ki ramu kaka 3 manzil se gir gaye pant karte time piche wale jisse mai ap jaldi chalo... Ye sun kar woh ghabra jata hai aur shazia se kuch kah kar woh niche jata hai.... Shazia bhi thodi ghabra jati hai woh bhi niche aana chahati thi par watchman mana kar deta hai..... Tab woh niche nahi aati kuch der wahi upper hi rahti hai.... Aur woh pooja ko Phir se call karna chahati thi par woh call nahi karti.... Aise hi 2 hour bit jate hai... Tab phir se door ball bajti hai shazia door open karti hai samne pooja thi.... Jo muskura rahi thi.... Pooja andar aati hai... S... Kiya ap bhi kitna call kara apne ek call revive nahi kari P... Are yar mai mob ko silent kar diya aur bad mai moka nahi mila use dekhne ka.... Jab mai lift se aayi to tab maine kisi ko call karne ko mob nikala tab tumhari aur kuch logo ki call thi.... Isliye mai direct tumhare pass Aa gayi.... Dono beth kar baat karne lagte hai pooja ko dekh kar shazia ko Accha lagta hai bhale zyada mulaqat nahi hai dono mai par shazia pooja ko bahot manti hai.... Aur pooja bhi shaiza ko chahati hai.... Kuch idhar udhar ki baat hoti hai aur ek kariger ki girne ki baat bhi shazia karti hai par pooja kahti hai aisa aksar ho hi jata hai mujhe pata chala woh hospital mai hai khatre ki koi baat nahi hai kuch facture aaya hai.... Dono baat karte karte yaha shazia kahti hai pooja ek Baat kaho apne to mere bare mai sab malom kara par apne bare mai kuch nahi bataya kuch thoda sa to batao... Ye to mai janti ho apne bhi dusro ke sath sex kara hai par pahla sex shadi ke bad ya pahle kara tha aur kisse kara tha..... Pooja... Jab tumne mujh se kuch nahi chupya to mai bhi apne kuch baate bata deti ho... Janti ho shadi se pahle mai kisi se sex to kiya usse Alne dil ka pahla mard bhi nahi samjhti thi... Bahot seedhi saadi ladki rahi simple rahi.... Shadi ke bad mere pati parmeshwar hi rahe par kuch halat aise ban gaye ki..... S... Ki... Aage.... P... Mai kafi pooja path karne wali ladki thi sab kuch sahi chal raha tha mere jeevan mai.... Kuch prob nahi thi mere pati ko bahar business ke liye kafi bhag doad karte the... Halaki mai bhi unke sath jati thi par ek din sab badal gaya.... Mai pahle yahi okhla mai ek acche se ghar mai rahti thi.. Wahi pass ke mandir mai roz jati thi... Tab woh business tour ke liye bahar Jate mai bhi kuch 2 ya 3 bar unke sath gayi..... Aur aise woh bahar aate jate rahe par bad mai zyadatar bahr Jane lage aur kafi lamba time wahi guzarne lage.... Tab mai hamesha ki trah roz mandir jati thi par us mandir mai zyada bheed nahi hoti.... Mai nange pair jati thi... Jisse mere shardha badti rahti thi jo bhi mai bhagwan se mangti woh mujhe mil hi jata tha.... Par mai paregnet nahi hue aur mai bhagwan se roz parathna karti par kuch ho hi nahi raha.... Jab mai mandir aati jati rahi tab ek bhikhari mujhe roz milta mai use roz kuch na kuch deti.... Woh bhikari mujhe bahot gor se dekhta par kahta kuch nahi na kabhi usne koi badda Ishara kara... Raste mai zaroor kuch awara log cmmt karte par ye to har kisi aurat ke liye roz ki baat hi thi... Sach mano maine kabhi us bhikhari se sex karne jaisa kuch nahi socha.... Na mere man mai ye ganda khayal aaya ki mera pati bahar rahta hai to mai kisi se sex karo.... Chahahe woh 15 din se bhi zyada upper ho jai.... Ek bar mere pati aaye maine sex kiya unka cum mere bacchedani mai hamesha ki trah pada aur mai unsafe period mai thi.... Woh 3 din sex kara aur bahar phir se chale gaye... Unke Jane ke bad unka bhateeja Rahul rahne Aa jata tha... Woh kafi sharif kism ka ladka tha.... Aur mujhe didi kahta tha.... Maine uske liye bhi koi door door tak sex ke bare mai nahi socha woh jawan ladka tha kuch sawala jaisa hasht pusht 20 ya 21 sal ka hi hoga.... Woh apne kam se matlab rakhta.... Ab mai to kuch nahi janti woh mere bare mai kiya sahi sochta kiya galat... Ek din woh mere life ka aisa awasar tha jaha mai apne bahvna mai bah gayi mujhe nahi pata ki mai kaha ja rahi ho.... Ek din mai madir se wapis aayi to seedha kitchen gayi aur chai banane lagi Rahul apne room mai tha door aada hi band tha... Us time mai madir gayi to lakin foran wapis Aa gayi.....waha sadak par kuch kam chal rha tha to rasta band tha isliye mai wapis Aa gayi.... Kitchen mai chai bana rahi thi to maine low kam kar ke Rahul ko bulane uske room mai gayi... Door ada hi band tha mai room ke door par jakar thoda door open kar ke knok kara.... Rahul pet ke bal leta koi magzin dekh raha tha... Maine achanak se knok kara to woh hadbada gaya bahar mosam bhi bigad gaya tha barish hone lagi.... To bus yahi uske room mai soch kar gayi ki mosam Accha hai to kuch pakodi bana leti ho par Rahul pasand karta hai ya nahi puch leti ho.... Tab mai door knok kar rahi thi to Rahul hadbada kar seedha hua... Aur mere hath door par knok kar rahe the... ![[Image: images-3.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/TBSrYcr/images-3.jpg) upload image Usne mujhe dekha woh t-shirt lower mai tha aur usne mujhe sir se pair tak dekhne laga.... Waise to usne jab mai mandir ke liye nikli to saari blouse mai dekha tha par ab uski nazar alag thi... Woh mera chahra to kam dekha par mere pet par zyada gor se dekhne laga aur chupi navel ko dekhne ko koshish karne laga.... Maine bhi use dekha to paya uske lower mai bamboo khada tha jo pura 8 inch ka lag raha tha woh underwear nahi pahna tha jiske karan uska tambo mai bamboo pura khada tha... Mere nazar us ke bamboo mai gayi to pata nahi aaj mujhe bahot Sharam se aane lage mai darwaze mai simat kar rah gayi... ![[Image: images-4.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/Q8y0ttf/images-4.jpg) Aur mai us Rahul ki aankho mai aaj apne liye hawas saaf dekhi aur jo magzin uske pass thi usme bra panty saari blouse wali sexy half nude pics thi.... Ye mere hi magzin thi par uske hath kaise lagi ya mere piche woh mere room se le aaya iske bare mai pata nahi.... Par maine kuch nahi kaha aue use ek bar gor se dekhte hue wapis kitchen mai chali gayi.... Tab tak mere man mai sach mano shazia kuch galat nahi aaya.... Par us ka mere traf aisa dekhna kuch alag feel hua.... Mai jab kitchen mai chai bana kar layi to woh room mai nahi tha... Door bhi bahar se maine hi band kara tha to use chek karne gayi to woh andar se hi band tha... Socha mosam Accha hai to teris par gaya hoga... Ye soch kar mai teris par chali gayi.... Woh door boundary par khada tha kuch halki halki boonde pad rahi thi... Maine door se awaz lagayi to Rahul ne awaz nahi suni.... Mai pass uske gayi aur 2 kadam ki doori par maine awaz lagayi to woh muda.... Uska mudna tha ki tabhi tez barish achanak se hue jaisa woh barish mera wait kar rahi thi..... Mai pura bheeg gayi mera bloue saadi mere jism se chipak gayi.... Mai apne ap mai simat gayi.... Aur barish se bachne ke liye mai bhagna chaha par Rahul ki awaz suni.... R... Kiya didi ap ko barish mai bhigna Accha nahi lagta... ![[Image: images-1.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/tpVBrwn/images-1.jpg) Woh mere piche khada tha aur woh mera piche ka hissa dekh raha tha woh mere karib aaram se aaya aur mere kandhe par hath rakh kar kahne laga.... Pooja ap bahot khubsurat ho ap ke balo mai ye gazra bahot khubsurat lagta hai chacha ko ap jaise patni mili woh kitna dhany hai.... Aur aise khubsurat shandar sexy figure wali patni ko aisa akela chhodkar paise kamane ke liye kaise bahar ja sakte hai..... Tab mujhe ye ahsas hua ki uska aage ka hissa mere nitamn mai dasa ja raha hai... Mere pao zameen par jam gaye mai apne jagah se hil nahi pa rahi thi.... Rahul ke ahista ahista hath mere kandhe se sakte hue hath par aaye aur hath se sarkte hue mere pet par aa gaye woh mere pet ko sahlane laga uska ling mere nitamb mai zoro se chubhne laga.... Woh dawab kafi bada raha tha... R... Mujhe maaf karna mai apki magzin le aaya mujhe nahi pata tha ap wapis itni jaldi Aa jayengi.... Aur khastor se ek baat ki maafi mangna chahata ho apki shadi ko 8 mahine we upper ho gaye ap pet se nahi hue.... Woh maine apki diary mai pada aur agar ap chahe to mai try kar sakta ho apko baccha dene ke liye.... Ye Sun kar main kafi lajjja gayi... Ye sab achanak hua... Woh mere navel se zyada khelne laga uske ek ungli mere navel mai ghumne lagi.... R... Ap ka oichwada bahot khubsurat bhari hai bahot sexy hai.... Aur jab ap backless blouse pahnti hai to bahot zordar mal lagti ho..... Ye kah kar woh mere gaedan par kiss karne laga. Mai bahot koshish kar rahi thi uska hath apne pet se hatao. Par aur piche we uska ling hatao... Par uske muh se bacche ki baat sunkar mai chup si ho gayi.... Ab uska hath mere saadi ka pallu pakad kar hatane laga aur saadi ka pallu hatte hi usne mere blouse ke upper se chuchi kas ke pakad li aur bahot zoro se dabane laga.... Ahhhhhhhj hmmmm mm nahiiiiiiiiiiii rahulllllll ye galat hai nahiiiiii mujhe apne pati ka baccha chahiye na ki tumhara aur tum mere sage bhatije ho mujhse chote ho.... R... Ahhhhh pooja mere jaan par mera lund to bada haiiiiiii P... Hiiiiiiii Sharam aani chahiye koi apne chachi se aise baat karta hai hato Rahul ye galat hai..... Par Rahul mere chuchi ko dabata raha aur woh mere blouse ka hook kholne laga... Maine use rokne ki koshish karne lagi... Par phie bhi maine 2 hook kholne par rok liya...kintu usne ab mere bhigi saadi aur niche se peticote upper uthane laga..... Pooja... Nahi nahiii aisa na karo.... Mai apne pati ka hi baccha chahati ho.... Tum aisa nahi kar sakte Rahul.... R... Ohhh pooja tu itni haseen hai jis din tujhe maine dekha tha tab se tere liye mai Pagal ban gaya... Par yaha aane ka moka chacha ke karan mila....... Hiii pooja dekh mai bhi to chacha ki trah sawla ho tu gori hai aur chacha se mere shakal milti hai agar baccha mere shakal ka hua to bhi kiya faraq padega aur hamare khandan ka khoon tere kok mai palega.. Aaj nahi to kal tu agar kisi aur ke bache ke chakkar mai chudegi to pata nahi kis khandan ka khoon ho.... Pooja uski baato mai aane lagti hai par isse zyada pooja par hawas bhi chadne lagi...... Peticote kamar tak Aa Gaya uska khada lund pooja ke nitamb se takraya to pooja ki ahhh nikal gayi...... Tab pooja ne ek bar apne pati varta ka khayal aaya aur khane lagi..... Pooja.... Nahiii nahiiiiii mai aisa nahi kar sakti... Pooja ne taqat laga kar Rahul se picha chudaya aur bhagti hue niche aayi....yaha Rahul ne himmat nahi hari bus ek chot aur marni thi.... Rahul apne rooom mai Aa gaya aur woh apne geele kapse change kar ke let gaya.... 15 min bite par in 15 min mai pooja ke deemag par hawas Chad gayi.... Woh dusri saari pahan kar balo mai gazra laga kar Rahul ke room mai gayi.... ![[Image: images-5.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/k8T5w1r/images-5.jpg) Rahul leta tha jab pooja ko phir se sexy andaz mai mukura kar dekha to woh uth kar khada ho gaya.... Aur woh pooja ke pass aata hai... Pooja ke galo ko apne hatho mai thamta hua kahta hai.... R... Kiya hua tum jis andaz mai aayi ho to mujhe lagta hai ki tumhe baccha chahiye... Pooja ha ke Ishare se apna sir niche kar deti hai.... Aur tab Rahul pooja ke galo par kiss karta hua dono honto ka juice pine lagta hai..... Pooja bhi uski madad karte hue apne honto ko khol deti hai..... Woh hont chuste chuste pooja ka pallu seene se hatane ko koshish karta hai.... Aur aage ke do hook khokar blouse ko jhatke se niche kar ke ek boobs ko nikal deta hai... ![[Image: 928-1000.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/SdzXkv8/928-1000.jpg) Ye sab bahot jaldi hone laga... Us ek boobs ko pakad kar masalta hua use pine lagta hai aur saari ka pallu hata deta hai.... Aur dusra boobs se bhi blouse hata deta hai... Aur thoda piche jakar samne se boobs dekhta hai.... Aur dono boobs ko phir se pakad kar masalta hai aur chusne lagta hai.... Pooja.... Ahhhhh ohhhhhh yesssssss ummmmmm Ahhhhhhhj aisa na karooooo ahhhhhhhhh mera peticote upper kar ke mere sath sex karo apna virya mere andar dal do..... Tab Rahul dil bharkar boobs chusta hua kahta hai....mere jaan pahle tere doodh to pine de...pure sharir ka maza lene de.... Le mere lund ko chus ise chus ka aur tight kar de... Ye kah kar woh pooja ko zameen par bitha deta hai... ![[Image: indian-saree-blouse-7.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/T0MPPLC/indian-saree-blouse-7.jpg) Pooja ke dono boobs dekh rahe the... Aur pooja full garam thi... Waise bhi pooja me kahi na kahi us bhikari ko dekh kar usse chudwane ka man bana liya tha jo 2 mahine se lagatar pooja ko dekhta aa raha tha.... Par Rahul ke aane se ab jo ho raha tha isse pooja ko apne bacche ke liye ek ummid ki Kiran jaag gayi thi....
19-07-2021, 04:00 PM
(This post was last modified: 19-07-2021, 04:03 PM by rehanboy16. Edited 1 time in total. Edited 1 time in total.)
I tell you what is the problem with this story and why it turned off most of the readers. You started off perfectly, there was so much eroticism at the start. Shazia was such a sensual and mysterious character and how she was scared of Kalia and how he overpowered her and used her in the lift was such a solid buildup for the story. You should have continued with this story line and have let Kalia use Shazia as he always wanted since he saw her growing up. There was so much lust in him for Shazia.
However, you turned it around with such an angle that she started having sex with people out of nowhere and we started losing the interest. Kalia became a submissive slave and it was a turn off for me. Then you introduced this cuckold angle which I thing was a turning point for most of the readers. However you quickly managed to pick it up and once again the story came on track. You then introduced her new beginning which you again started off brilliantly with Hariya. This was so erotic and you should have just continued their secret dirty affair in her new apartment in her husbands absence. Yet, you again twisted the story and introduced two new characters and she started to get involved with the watchman which was not so good and not believable at all. You seems to have a good understanding of what you want to write but you don’t trust yourself and take one or two stupid comments seriously and turns the whole story into something which turns off most of your true true readers. I don’t know what is in your mind and how you are going to take this story further. Let’s hope you don’t mess it up again.
19-07-2021, 04:04 PM
Tab pooja ne Rahul ka lund ko muh mai leke chusna chaha par woh kar hi nahi pa rahi thi...
Rahul ne pooja ko khada kar ke blouse saari lagbhag utar di... Aur woh peticote ka naada kholne laga... Tab pooja ki Sharam bhi jati rahi aur badi ada se kahne lagi Hiii Rahul mujhe nanga na karo.... ![[Image: 1604771900-Saree-me-moti-gaand-dikhati-h...photos.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/ryMK4LJ/1604771900-Saree-me-moti-gaand-dikhati-hot-bhabhi-ki-photos.jpg) Rahul bhi pooja ke samne pura nanga ho gaya aur use apne pass lakar kahne laga tera sharir bahot kamuk hai par Jab tak chacha nahi aate tab tak mai tujhe daba kar chodonga... Tujhe chacha se aane se pahle puri trah se pregnet karne ki koshish karonga.... Ye kah kar apne samne pooja ko nanga bitha kar apna lund pooja ke muh mai dal deta hai.... Aur pooja bade aaram se pyar ke sath uska lund chusne pine lagti hai.... Woh kuch der aise hi lund chusata hai... Aur pooja chuste hue kahti hai plzzz bad mai jo karna hai kar lo lakin abhi mujhe fuke karo.... Mai tumhara virya jaldi se apne andar samana chahati ho... Tab Rahul let jata hai aur pooja ko apne upper leke uski chuchi pita hua apna lund chut mai dal deta hai... Pooja ko bahot maza aane lagata hai woh mast hoke Rahul se chudne lagti hai aur 10 min tak Rahul niche se thap marta hai... ![[Image: 16038343.webp]](https://i.ibb.co/rZnCJZt/16038343.webp) ![[Image: 16922862.webp]](https://i.ibb.co/4gR0jVZ/16922862.webp) Rahul ko vishwasha nahi hua aisa jism use chodne ko milega pooja jitni saadi mai sexy lagti thi utni nangi sexy lagti hai.... Rahul side se lita kar piche se chut marne lagta hai...aur pooja jhad bhi jati hai Rahul puri taqat se chuchi daba kar pooja ko khub chodta hua apna virya pooja ki chut mai nikal deta hai... Aur jab lund bahar nikalta hai to virya bhi thoda bahar aata hai... ![[Image: 22373583.webp]](https://i.ibb.co/wwyNCrW/22373583.webp) Pooja... Hiiii Rahul tera nikal gaya mere andar par bahar bhi nikla hai... R... Hiii mere Jan ye to tera pani ke sath mera thoda virya nikla hai aur mera Accha khasa andar gaya hai... Rahul 15 din tak pooja ko chodta hai par abhi koi baccha nahi aaya par pooja kafi besharam bhi ban jati hai... Shazia.... Ohhhh pooja tum to sach mai bahot garam aurat ho.... Accha ye batao woh Rahul ke bad woh bhikhari se tum... P.... Ha mai bhikhari se bhi sex kara... Par uska sex ab tak jitne bhi sex kare hai alag aur bahot ganda hai... Par us bhikhari ko bhul na payi.... Rahul ke exam shuru hue to woh chala gaya is bich mujhe laga ki mai pregnet nahi hue ho.... Aur mera masik dharam apne time par hi hua jisse mai kafi nirash hone lagi... Par Rahul ke Jane ke bad maine sex apne pati ke sath hi kara jab woh wapis aate tab.... Lakin ek cheez mere andar hue mujhe ab apne bacche ke liye to sex karna tha par hawas bhi mere andar kafi badne lagi.... Mai roz ki trah mandir gayi.... Us din mere pati zaroor aye the par woh kisi kam se chale gaye..... Lakin pooja kuch kah pati ki Phir se door bell baji....
19-07-2021, 04:07 PM
(19-07-2021, 04:00 PM)rehanboy16 Wrote: I tell you what is the problem with this story and why it turned off most of the readers. You started off perfectly, there was so much eroticism at the start. Shazia was such a sensual and mysterious character and how she was scared of Kalia and how he overpowered her and used her in the lift was such a solid buildup for the story. You should have continued with this story line and have let Kalia use Shazia as he always wanted since he saw her growing up. There was so much lust in him for Shazia. Kya ho gaya Lion...who is Rahul now?? What happened to your classic parts of bhiku or dhobi and all...are you getting influenced by others?? Aap Shazia pe hi story rakho..uske encounters batao..chahe sabzeewala ho ya auto wala etc. Aise updates se to readers bhi kafi confused ho gaye Aapne itni acchi kahaniya likhi hai...yahan kya ho gaya???you are losing the plot.. Achanak watchman gayab ho gaya!!
19-07-2021, 06:57 PM
(19-07-2021, 04:07 PM)Samit_bhai Wrote: Kya ho gaya Lion...who is Rahul now?? What happened to your classic parts of bhiku or dhobi and all...are you getting influenced by others?? Thoda sa patient rakho... Mai bus koi long pooja ke bare mai nahi likha aur kafi socha yaha mujhe abhi watchman jam nahi raha us ke sath sex karane mai aur yaha maine bus pooja ka first likha woh apne story shazia ko bata rahi thi... Par abhi yaha main shazia hi hai bus shazia ko aur zyada mai sex ka matlab samjha raha ho... Jisee woh aage khud faisle le aur kiya Accha hai bura hai woh samjhe.... Bus thoda samjho mai bar bar kuch cmmt se disturb ho jata ho isliye mai pm zyada chek nahi karta... Jab chek kar leta ho to wahi mere kahani bigad jati hai jaldi mai shazia ko phir se highlight karta ho.... Aur Rahul ek past hai pooja ka yaha maine poja ke bare mai bataya hai
19-07-2021, 07:19 PM
Mai ek Baat bata do ab jakar mai samjha ki reder ek writer se kiya chahate hai... To jab bhi mai koi new kahani shuru karonga aage agar man hua to... Use start aisa karonga ki koi ye na kahe mai kahani bhatka raha ho abhi mai old kahani mai se hawas aur khoon restart karne ki soch raha ho
19-07-2021, 07:24 PM
(19-07-2021, 12:41 PM)Lion King 989 Wrote: Ap ki baat se pura sahmat ho kintu jab mai likhta ho aur story sahi chalti hai to kuch cmmt aate hai Accha lagta hai par kuch new karne ke chakkar mai kahani bigad jati hai... Wohi mere sath hota hai to mai nirash ho jata ho... Aur jab sab ko khush nahi kar pata to story tatkal band kar deta ho... Bahot mahnat lagti hai story banane mai par ek cmmt sari mahnat par pani dal deta hai... Abhi watchman wala episode sab ko pasand nahi aaya pm mai bataya par mai direct waha se story ki line end nahi kar sakta...... Isliye man nahi kar raha ab aage likhne ko Phir meri baat par agree karne ka matlab kya hua... Kuch comments to against me ayenge hi chahe jitna accha likh lo... Overall hum log pinkbaby wickedsunnyboi jaise superb writers ki barabari nahi kar sakte... Continue your track and try to make that more kinky... Majority will like... And tumhari stories me kuch unique track bhi hai so ho sakta hai kuch readers ko pasand naa aaye but ye sab chalta hai.... Continue your story mate... ![[+]](https://xossipy.com/themes/sharepoint/collapse_collapsed.png)
1 user Likes Newdevil's post
19-07-2021, 11:31 PM
It's going well. All will Not agree to a point. You can't make all of us happy..
20-07-2021, 01:30 AM
(19-07-2021, 07:19 PM)Lion King 989 Wrote: Mai ek Baat bata do ab jakar mai samjha ki reder ek writer se kiya chahate hai... To jab bhi mai koi new kahani shuru karonga aage agar man hua to... Use start aisa karonga ki koi ye na kahe mai kahani bhatka raha ho abhi mai old kahani mai se hawas aur khoon restart karne ki soch raha ho Old kahani se aacha aap nayi story likho...jo romanch nayi story poori karta hai woh purani monotonous stories nahi kar pati.. Bahut si adhuri shandar stories hai yahan..aap chhao to unki plot se similar likh sakte ho ya khud apne hisaab se koi alag concept.. aap un kuch logo mein se ho jo stories poori karte hain.. Lekin meri guzarish hai ki iss story mein bhi pahle jaisa dilchasp kuch ho jaise Bhiku wala scene etc.
20-07-2021, 03:36 PM
(19-07-2021, 07:19 PM)Lion King 989 Wrote: Mai ek Baat bata do ab jakar mai samjha ki reder ek writer se kiya chahate hai... To jab bhi mai koi new kahani shuru karonga aage agar man hua to... Use start aisa karonga ki koi ye na kahe mai kahani bhatka raha ho abhi mai old kahani mai se hawas aur khoon restart karne ki soch raha ho Hawas or Khoon ka to besabri se intezaar hai bhai |
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
Users browsing this thread: 9 Guest(s)