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(Andrew Mayhem 3 50) Strand, Jeff Konrath, J A Suckers
epub | 440.85 KB | English | Jeff Strand | Joe Konrath
Description: Masters of the comedy thriller genre, J.A. Konrath and Jeff Strand, team up for the humorous horror novella Suckers.
Strand's perpetually unlucky character Andrew Mayhem, star of the novels Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary), Single White Psychopath Seeks Same, and Casket For Sale (Only Used Once), sets off on a simple mission at the request of his wife: Get some spaghetti sauce.
On his way to the store he meets Konrath's obnoxious private eye Harry McGlade, co-star of the Lt. Jack Daniels thrillers Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail, Dirty Martini, Fuzzy Navel, and Cherry Bomb.
Horrific violence, bad jokes, and lots of name calling soon ensues. Some sex, too, but not between the main characters.
Originally, published as a very expensive limited-edition hardcover, Suckers is now available as a super cheap ebook.
But the fun doesn't stop there.
Also included in this ebook are six other Mayhem and McGlade stories, many of them rare and long out of print.
Whelp Wanted - JA Konrath
Poor Career Choice - Jeff Strand
Taken to the Cleaners - JA Konrath
A Bit of Halloween Mayhem - Jeff Strand
The Necro File - JA Konrath
The Lost (For a Good Reason) Adventure of Andrew Mayhem - Jeff Strand
If that's not enough to get you to part with your pocket change, this ebook also includes two brand new introductions written by the authors, and an exclusive Strand/Konrath interview.
That's over 53,000 words worth of demented entertainment, for half the price of a kiddie meal at that fast food restaurant with the scary clown. It's also 1/3 of the calories. Plus, it's specially formatted for Kindle, with an active table of contents. Not active in the sense it will mow your lawn or fetch you a beer, but it's clickable and looks pretty.
Warning: Some of the jokes (mostly Konrath's) push the boundaries of good taste. Don't buy this if you're easily offended.
You also get a bonus excerpt from the hilarious novel, My Gun Has Bullets, by Lee Goldberg.
Here's what critics and bestselling authors have to say:
"JA Konrath is the greatest writer who ever lived!" -- Jeff Strand, published author of Benjamin's Parasite
"No, no, Jeff Strand is way better!" -- JA Konrath, published author of Whiskey Sour
"I officially withdraw my previous quote based on new information provided by JA Konrath's quote. Jeff Strand is the greatest writer who ever lived!" -- Jeff Strand, published author of The Sinister Mr. Corpse
"Of course, Jack Kilborn is better than both of us combined and mixed with a side helping of the Bronte sisters." -- JA Konrath, published author of the more mediocre half of Suckers
"Well, duh." -- Jeff Strand, published author of the half of Suckers that's okay, sort of, if your expectations aren't too high.
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Shipp, Jeremy C Anthony, Piers Strand, Jeff McKinney, Joe Attic Toys Jeff Strand, Joe McKinney, Piers Anthony, et al
epub | 193.75 KB | English | 9780615614144 | Jeremy C. Shipp, Piers Anthony, Jeff Strand, Joe McKinney, Lisa Morton, Gary McMahon | Evil Jester Press
Description: <span style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">19 amazing tales by the masters and rising stars of speculative fiction. <br style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Includes all new stories by Piers Anthony, Jeff Strand, Joe McKinney, Lisa Morton, Jeremy C. Shipp, Gary McMahon, Aric Sundquist, and many more! <br style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">You don't want to miss this staggering collection of horror and dark fantasy! <br style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">Complete TOC: <br style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">INSIDE THE BOXES by Jeff Strand <br style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><span style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; orphans: 2; wido: 2; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">DOWN IN THE WOODS TODAY by Emily
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Strand, Jeff A Bad Day for Voodoo
epub | 249.53 KB | English | 1402266804 | Jeff Strand | Sourcebooks Fire
Description: When your best friend is just a tiny bit psychotic, you should never actually believe him when he says, "Trust me. This is gonna be awesome."
Of course, you probably wouldn't believe a voodoo doll could work either. Or that it could cause someone's leg to blow clean off with one quick prick. But I've seen it. It can happen.
And when there's suddenly a doll of YOU floating around out there-a doll that could be snatched by a Rottweiler and torn to shreds, or a gang of thugs ready to torch it, or any random family of cannibals (really, do you need the danger here spelled out for you?)-well, you know that's just gonna be a really bad day ...
"Jeff Strand is hilariously funny and truly deranged." -Christopher Golden, author of When Rose Wakes
Review
""Characters, settings, dialogue, all work well. Highly recommended." Blogger Michael Collings, Collings Notes " - Collings Notes
About the Author
JEFF STRAND lives in Tampa, Florida, and doesn't believe in voodoo. But he still thinks you should carry a doll around, go up to people you don't like, and chuckle while you jab it with pins, just to make them squirm. Poke around his gleefully macabre website at .JeffStrand.com.
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(Andrew Mayhem 4) Strand, Jeff Lost Homicidal Maniac
epub | 380.45 KB | English | Jeff Strand | Jeff Strand
Description: Andrew Mayhem is back! In this dark and hilarious new adventure, Andrew has started up a private investigation business with his best friend Roger (slogan: "We Solve Weird Problems"). Since his options in life will become somewhat more limited after his wife Helen gives birth to triplets, it's his last-ditch effort to get out of being stuck with a corporate day job.
One of their first clients is an attractive woman named Shirley. Keeping with the kind of luck Andrew has had his entire life, her problem is: "I think I may be a serial killer."
Yeah, he takes the job. Even after she insists on being handcuffed to him while they investigate the house where she might have stored the bodies of her victims.
But Andrew discovers that this day has much more danger in store than being handcuffed to a woman who may or may not be a homicidal maniac. Because Mr. Burke, the sadistic villain of his last adventure, has been watching Andrew and plotting a truly ghastly revenge...and the attack begins now!
Packed with the trademark demented humor, wild action, and grisly horror, this is the novel that Andrew Mayhem fans have been threatening to stab the author if he doesn't write.
Foreword by the lovely and talented JA Konrath.
"No author working today comes close to Jeff Strand's perfect mixture of comedy and terror." -- Cemetery Dance
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Konrath, J A Strand, Jeff Suckers
epub | 439.26 KB | English | Suckers | Joe Konrath
Description: Masters of the comedy thriller genre, J.A. Konrath and Jeff Strand, team up for the humorous horror novella Suckers.
Strand's perpetually unlucky character Andrew Mayhem, star of the novels Graverobbers Wanted (No Experience Necessary), Single White Psychopath Seeks Same, and Casket For Sale (Only Used Once), sets off on a simple mission at the request of his wife: Get some spaghetti sauce.
On his way to the store he meets Konrath's obnoxious private eye Harry McGlade, co-star of the Lt. Jack Daniels thrillers Whiskey Sour, Bloody Mary, Rusty Nail, Dirty Martini, Fuzzy Navel, and Cherry Bomb.
Horrific violence, bad jokes, and lots of name calling soon ensues. Some sex, too, but not between the main characters.
Originally, published as a very expensive limited-edition hardcover, Suckers is now available as a super cheap ebook.
But the fun doesn't stop there.
Also included in this ebook are six other Mayhem and McGlade stories, many of them rare and long out of print.
Whelp Wanted - JA Konrath
Poor Career Choice - Jeff Strand
Taken to the Cleaners - JA Konrath
A Bit of Halloween Mayhem - Jeff Strand
The Necro File - JA Konrath
The Lost (For a Good Reason) Adventure of Andrew Mayhem - Jeff Strand
If that's not enough to get you to part with your pocket change, this ebook also includes two brand new introductions written by the authors, and an exclusive Strand/Konrath interview.
That's over 53,000 words worth of demented entertainment, for half the price of a kiddie meal at that fast food restaurant with the scary clown. It's also 1/3 of the calories. Plus, it's specially formatted for Kindle, with an active table of contents. Not active in the sense it will mow your lawn or fetch you a beer, but it's clickable and looks pretty.
Warning: Some of the jokes (mostly Konrath's) push the boundaries of good taste. Don't buy this if you're easily offended.
You also get a bonus excerpt from the hilarious novel, My Gun Has Bullets, by Lee Goldberg.
Here's what critics and bestselling authors have to say:
"JA Konrath is the greatest writer who ever lived!" -- Jeff Strand, published author of Benjamin's Parasite
"No, no, Jeff Strand is way better!" -- JA Konrath, published author of Whiskey Sour
"I officially withdraw my previous quote based on new information provided by JA Konrath's quote. Jeff Strand is the greatest writer who ever lived!" -- Jeff Strand, published author of The Sinister Mr. Corpse
"Of course, Jack Kilborn is better than both of us combined and mixed with a side helping of the Bronte sisters." -- JA Konrath, published author of the more mediocre half of Suckers
"Well, duh." -- Jeff Strand, published author of the half of Suckers that's okay, sort of, if your expectations aren't too high.
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Strand, Jeff Greatest Zombie Movie Ever
epub | 859.97 KB | English | Jeff Strand | Sourcebooks, Inc
Description: After producing three horror movies that went mostly ignored on YouTube, Justin and his filmmaking buddies decide it's time they create something noteworthy, something epic. They're going to film the Greatest Zombie Movie Ever. They may not have money or a script, but they have passion. And, after a rash text message, they also have the beautiful Alicia Howtz-Justin's crush-as the lead.With only one month to complete their movie, a script that can't possibly get worse, and the hopes and dreams of Alicia on the line, Justin is feeling the pressure. Add to that a cast of uncooperative extras and incompetent production assistants, and Justin must face the sad, sad truth. He may actually be producing The Worst Zombie Movie Ever...
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Strand, Jeff How to Rescue a Dead Princess
epub | 277.16 KB | 9781594264535 | Jeff Strand | Mundania Press LLC
Description:
Review
HOW TO RESCUE A DEAD PRINCESS is pure wonder. Jeff Strand is setting a new precedent for writers of comedy and most other genres. This book has everything and I promise you'll have to force yourself not to rush to his site and buy another one of his books. But it's okay, buy one. 4-1/2 Stars! ~ Rhapsody Magazine
Tired of the predictable quest fantasy? Try Jeff Strand's How To Rescue A Dead Princess--a totally unpredictable and very funny take-off on generic quest fantasies. The adventures grow increasingly hilarious until even the traditional happy ending winds up with a humorous and surprising twist. In this irreverent tale, Strand cleverly weaves suspense in with his ingenious fantasy quest parody, producing a delightful and funny book. 4-1/2 Stars!_ ~ Scribes World Revie_
HOW TO RESCUE A DEAD PRINCESS is one of those books that has to be read to be believed--not that I believed one line of it. Disbelief didn't stop me from laughing, gasping, and just generally enjoying the whole thing. All I can say is: Jeff Strand should be arrested for writing addictive works--maybe I should write my congressman (if Jeff is incarcerated, he will have more time to write). This is the second one of his books I've read and I want more. And I want them now. Very Highly Recommended! ~ Millennium SF & F Magazine, August 2000
Product Description
From the creative genius who would have brought you Hamlet, The Scarlet Letter, and a less-boring Moby Dick (if he'd been born on time) comes this outrageous comic fantasy. It's a tale filled with so much adventure, so much excitement, so much vocabulary, that all who read it will suffer a fit of giddiness that will freak out everyone in their general vicinity. It's the saga of Randall, a squire assigned to escort the lovely Princess Janice on a diplomatic journey of utmost importance. Then she gets killed. Now Randall must overcome desperate odds and ridiculous dangers in his quest to bring her back to life...before the entire Generic Fantasy Land falls into the evil clutches of The Dark One! Packed to the bursting point with unrestrained silliness (so be sure to hold it a safe distance from your face when reading), How to Rescue a Dead Princess is the novel all the really cool people are reading this year, an epic fantasy for your family to cherish approximately forever.
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Strand, Jeff I Have a Bad Feeling About This
epub | 1.07 MB | English | Jeff Strand | Sourcebooks, Inc.
Description: Wilderness Survival Tip #1Drinking your own sweat will not save your life. Somebody might have told you that, but they were trying to find out if you'd really do it.Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors-but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp.Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood... Wilderness Survival Tip #2In case of an avalanche, don't despair. You're doomed, but that's a wicked cool death. Wilderness Survival Tip #3If you're relying on this book for actual survival tips, you're dead already. Praise for Jeff Strand's A Bad Day For Voodoo:"A delightfully ludicrous read."...
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Easy To Crochet 2 Hour Slippers
epub | 1.08 MB | English | Becker, Vicki | N/A
Description: Quick and easy slippers to crochet in 2 hours or less. 3 styles to choose from with instructions for flower embelishments.
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02 THE WARSAW PROTOCOL by Steve Berry
epub | 4.13 MB | English | Steve Berry | St. Martin's Publishing Group
Description: In New York Times bestseller Steve Berry's latest Cotton Malone adventure, the arrogant greed of politics comes face-to-face with the weight of history.
One by one the seven precious relics of the Arma Christi, the weapons of Christ, are disappearing from sanctuaries across the world.
After former Justice Department agent Cotton Malone witnesses the theft of one of them, he learns from his old boss, Stephanie Nelle, that a private auction is about to be held where incriminating information on the president of Poland will be offered to the highest bidder-blackmail that both the United States and Russia want, but for vastly different reasons.
The price of admission to that auction is one of the relics, so Malone is first sent to a castle in Poland to steal the Holy Lance, a thousand-year-old spear sacred to not only Christians but to the Polish people, and then on to the auction itself. But nothing goes as planned and Malone is...
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Palisano, John Strand, Jeff French, Aaron J McCarty, Mike D Unnatural Tales of the Jackalope
epub | 261.75 KB | English | Jeff Strand, Aaron J. French, Mike D. McCarty, Rachel Towns, John Palisano | Western Legends Press
Description: Eighteen stories, a poem, and a letter all about the fabled Southwestern Jackalope. Read as a lonely jackalope comes into his own, learn how Ronald Reagan used his jackalope to find political success, explore the horrific ramifications as jackalopes terrorize those unlucky enough to cross their paths...and meet other creatures along the way, like the mighty chupacabra and terrifying moths. This collection explores many aspects of the world of the jackalope!
Authors
Jeff Strand
Sèphera Girón
Rick Pickman
Rachel Towns
Kristi Petersen Schoonover
Brenda Knutson
Michael Bailey
Jack Horne
David J. West
Eric S. Grizzle
Aaron J. French
D.T. Griffith
Erik Williams
Abbie Bernstein
Matt Kurtz
Misty Dahl
Fawn
Jezzy Wolfe
Dean M. Drinkel
Mike D. McCarty
**
About the Author
Editor John Palisano is the author of numerous published short stories as well as the novel NERVES.
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88 Names
epub | 2.21 MB | English | Matt Ruff | HarperCollins
Description: The critically acclaimed author of Lovecraft Country returns with a thrilling and immersive virtual reality epic-part cyberthriller, part twisted romantic comedy-that transports you to a world where identity is fluid and nothing can be taken at face value.
John Chu is a "sherpa"-a paid guide to online role-playing games like the popular Call to Wizardry. For a fee, he and his crew will provide you with a top-flight character equipped with the best weapons and armor, and take you dragon-slaying in the Realms of Asgarth, hunting rogue starships in the Alpha Sector, or battling hordes of undead in the zombie apocalypse.
Chu's new client, the pseudonymous Mr. Jones, claims to be a "wealthy, famous person" with powerful enemies, and he's offering a ridiculous amount of money for a comprehensive tour of the world of virtual-reality gaming. For Chu, this is a dream assignment, but as the tour gets underway, he begins to suspect that Mr....
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Boy from the Woods
epub | 497.99 KB | English | Harlan Coben | 2020 | Grand Central Publishing
Description: In the shocking new thriller from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Run Away, a man whose past is shrouded in mystery must find a missing teenage girl before her disappearance brings about disastrous consequences for her community . . . and the world.
The man known as Wilde is a mystery to everyone, including himself.Decades ago, he was found as a boy living feral in the woods, with no memory of his past. After the security officer concluded an exhaustive hunt for the child's family, which was never found, he was turned over to the foster system.
Now, thirty years later, Wilde still doesn't know where he comes from, and he's back living in the woods on the outskirts of town, content to be an outcast, comfortable only outdoors, preferably alone, and with few deep connections to other people.
When a local girl goes missing, famous TV lawyer Hester Crimstein-with whom Wilde shares a tragic connection-asks him to use his unique skills...
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Made to Order
epub | 525.99 KB | English | Jonathan Strahan | Rebellion Publishing Ltd
Description: 100 years after Karel Capek coined the word, "robots" are an everyday idea, and the inspiration for countless stories in books, film, TV and games.They are often among the least privileged, most unfairly used of us, and the more robots are like humans, the more interesting they become. This collection of stories is where robots stand in for us, where both we and they are disadvantaged, and where hope and optimism shines through.Including stories by:Brooke BolanderJohn ChuDaryl GregoryPeter F. HamiltonSaad Z. HossainRich LarsonKen LiuIan R. MacleodAnnalee NewitzTochi OnyebuchiSuzanne PalmerSarah PinskerVina Jie-min PrasadAlastair ReynoldsSofia SamatarPeter Watts
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Clean Eating Alice Eat Well Every Day Nutritious, healthy recipes for life on the go
mobi | 18.85 MB | Alice Liveing | 2016 | HarperCollins Publishers
Description: Alice shares a fabulous selection of over 100 recipes in her new book, guiding you to be the best version of yourself with a range of meals, smoothies, sweets and treats that are easy to make and perfect for life on the go. Hundreds of thousands on Instagram have already been inspired by Alice's meals that are both healthy and delicious. When people aren't obsessing over her recipes, they are checking out her amazing abs. For Alice clean eating is all about developing a healthy relationship with food, and she believes that everyone can make permanent changes to their body with the right combination of diet and exercise. Alice will share her tips for creating enticing lunchboxes, breakfasts and dinners that fit your daily routine and will help you feel fantastic from the inside out. Arranged around your workout, Alice sets out what to eat post-work out, on rest days - and also your cheat day of course! Each recipe is tagged with dietary information on whether recipes are...
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Fury, The Colin Forbes
mobi | 615.29 KB | 9780333644140 | Colin Forbes | 1995 | Pan Books
Description: <div><h3>Product Description</h3>Following the murder of the wife of a senior member of Tweed's staff, Tweed, Paula and Newman must find her vengeful husband. Meanwhile, the shadow of Gabriel March Walvis, international manipulator, looms over unfolding events and a mysterious female assassin eliminates those who know the truth. </div>
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Type :epub | 1.21 MB | English | Forde, John;American Writers, Artists Institute, American Writers | DelRay Beach, FL : American Writers and Artists Institute
Description: Cover title;"Great selling ideas from 50 super-successful direct mail letters and direct response ads
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Type :epub | 1.19 MB | English | Richard S. Gallagher | AMACOM
Description: The worst customer situations demand more of front-line employees than good intentions and the right attitude. These kinds of issues can send seasoned service professionals into red alert, and require the communication skills of a crisis counselor. The Customer Service Survival Kit explains how to use the right words to turn volatile scenarios into calm and productive customer encounters. Anyone can learn this delicate art with the book's blend of clear techniques, lessons from behavioral science, case studies, situation-specific advice, and practice exercises. Readers will discover: The power of leaning into criticism Trigger phrases that can make bad situations worse The secret to helping people feel deeply heard in a crisis How to use the divide-and-conquer approach to safely deliver bad ne Indispensable problem-solving tools How to become immune to intimidation How to wrap up transactions so that customers are happy And more! Best yet...
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Type :epub | 429.86 KB | English | Henry Lion Oldie | N/A
Description: Who is Luciano Borgotta? A man with the difficult fate? A young puppet maker, a mature master of contact impersonation, a junior executor, a slave-rower in the gallery's passage, a symbiote of cosmic fluctuations, a telepath mercenary killer? Now, he is the tamer of the mad antis, the phoenix, burned and risen from the ashes, the horror of the PKS Pompilia squadron, the prisoner of the Sheol orbital prison, the man who opened the direct path into space. What's next?The universe will never be the same...
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Type :epub | 336.82 KB | English | Dan Ames | N/A
Description: <span style="color: rgb(24, 24, 24); font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 21px; orphans: 2;">Book Two in the Ellen Rockne Mystery Series!
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