Fantasy Whatever Gets You through the Night by TMaskedWriter

[Ramesh_Rocky]

He stepped into the setting San Finzione sun to look for a cab when he saw a man in the uniform of a page at Castle Finzione holding a sign with his name on it. Hardtack walked up to the man.

"I didn't order a car." He said suspiciously to the page.

"Compliments of La Contessa." Nunzio explained. "She wanted to welcome you personally but has been unfortunately detained. However, she has instructed me to extend you all of the standard courtesies that we extend the important American officials like yourself until she arrives."

Hardtack nodded and dropped his bag for the man to carry. At last, this country was showing some respect. Nunzio picked it up without missing a beat.

Brick let him lead the way to a waiting limousine. Leaving the airport, Castle Finzione could be seen standing atop La Collina. Brick knew that the person he'd have to deal with was up there.

Nunzio sat in the front of the limo. When Brick noticed that they weren't going toward La Collina, he lowered the glass.

"I thought we were going to the castle." Hardtack told him. If they weren't, he at least needed to go to the local Interpol office and let them know that the good old US of A was now in charge.

"La Contessa has provided first class accommodations for you." He explained. "She and Detective Inspector Allaine of Interpol will be meeting you there."

Hardtack nodded. They'd BETTER be first class! After all America did for them in WWII. He hadn't bothered reading up on San Finzione's history to find out that America did almost nothing for them during the Liberation, but that didn't stop him from assuming the country couldn't have freed themselves without them. He'd heard of this Allaine guy as well. A French cop; he might complicate things with the La Contessa.

A short time later, the limo pulled up in front of the Casino de Riviera de San Finzione. Nunzio wordlessly took Brick's bag and led him through the sounds and lights of the casino to the elevator. Hardtack looked at the people in expensive tuxedos and dresses gambling their evening and soon their night away.

Nunzio didn't say a word as they waited for the elevator to the La Contessa suite. As soon as they entered the suite, four women in evening dresses flocked to Special Agent Hardtack and began helping him with his jacket and bag.

"Hello, Special Agent Hardtack." They each said to him, taking his things, hanging or putting them away, then standing in a line in front of the suite's bar.

"La Contessa regrets that she and the Detective Inspector may be delayed." Nunzio informed him, setting down Hardtack's bag. "These four ladies have been instructed to see to your every need until then. Should you wish to visit the casino downstairs while you wait," he took two stacks of twenty-five black casino chips from his pocket and placed them in Brick's hand. "Compliments of the house, sir. You'll also find a tuxedo in your size in the closet of the master bedroom. I assure you, the bed in there CAN fit ALL of you."

He turned to Nunzio.

"A tux? You knew my measurements?"

Nunzio gave a small laugh.

"La Contessa's background checks are quite thorough. Everything here has been tailored to your... preferences."

Special Agent Hardtack weighed the chips in his hand, surveyed the ladies, taking extra time to stop and examine the blondes, then turned back to the page.

"Well, I... suppose I'd only be a good American... if I accepted your hospitality. Just while I wait."

Nunzio nodded and left the agent to his patriotic duties.

* * *

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"Good." Contessa Helena de San Finzione told the page on the other end of the line. "Tell the pit bosses to keep him winning. Not too much; enough to keep him there. They know what they're doing."

She hung up and turned to Mander. He was driving them down La Collina, toward the Marketplace.

"And that's the State Department off our backs. My people will keep him gambling, Don Nessuno's girls will keep him partying and laid, he gets to have fun until I meet him and give him a story to take back to the States, and we take care of Dietz with no further complications."

"That seems more how you'd distract Troy than a real agent." Mander replied. "What if he's one of those 'God and Country' types; too dedicated to the job to keep gambling and fucking the night away?"

"I have a Ministry of Intelligence; my background checks are VERY thorough. So are my psychological profiles. Half the reason most of these guys got into the job was because they watched the same movies Troy did; which means they've got the same fantasies. They also wanted to drink martinis and gamble for high stakes while wearing tuxedos and banging chicks with names like Fellatio Constant! Then they made it in and found out the job's mostly things like watching surveillance videos and monitoring wiretaps. Now the Bond fantasy is dangling in front of him and it's a sad truth that if Eliot was someone 'important,' they would've sent more than one guy. He's just here for show; make it seem like America's doing something. Why not enjoy this, let the locals take care of everything, then show up at the press conference after and tell the cameras how proud he was to help coordinate efforts? How fully the Government of San Finzione cooperated with the US on this matter? That's all anyone's expecting of him. And if he doesn't see it that way, he will after I finally talk to him."

"So, he's sorted." Mander asked. "Care to tell me more about this idea in your head?"

"Not just yet." Helen replied. "After this, if I'm right, yes. If it's what I'm thinking now, it's something big. The kind of big where you don't say anything until you're 100% certain. I'm starting to think that's what Eliot was doing. He got the same idea and got curious. He started poking around. And if I'm right, he also felt it was something you don't tell anyone until you know if you're right."

Mander thought on that.

"You're thinking he caught onto the thing they killed him for. The ball was already rolling on the hit a week before shooting started but he starting putting together why they might?"

Helen answered with a nod as Mander found a place to park close to the café.

* * *

At a small café outside the San Finzione Marketplace, there sat a Yia-Yia. The café had been there for generations, and some suspected that the original owner simply found her there and built the café around her.

For longer than anyone remembered, she'd sat at her table out front, drinking her vino and observing the world as it passed by her little spot in it. Taking in history as it entered and exited her fields of vision and hearing.

She'd been seeing a bit of it lately. Men walking around in uniforms like back then, riding tanks and vehicles like back then. The waiter came by once in a while to assure her that they were making a movie and the Nazis weren't back. She didn't want to admit it to him, but the reminders had been helpful. When did they start making movies here?

She'd thought about it a bit ago, when Tessa, a girl who sometimes stopped and said hello, came to see her. Tessa usually had questions about the old days and her life. Her Greek was good enough that, despite seeming to be American, they could still talk. She'd suspected that Tessa was some kind of movie star for some time. She was certainly pretty and popular enough that people came to have her sign things or take their pictures with her when they talked. The fact that she was traveling with Telly Savalas this time lent weight to the theory. Kojak was much more polite and taller in person than she'd expected and knew surprisingly little Greek, but she'd forgive a big star like him; even if he'd forgotten his lollipop today.

Tessa had questions about the past, as usual. The girl seemed to have a special interest in young Count Vincenzo. If someone as pretty as Tessa had her eye on him, she'd be worried for his darling Sofia. She told her of his uniting the people against the horrible German. Werner Schell. Despite the many other things that had left her memory, this man and the things he did never would.

She'd noticed that lately, Tessa's questions had focused on that bad time. Sometimes, men with cameras or tape recorders would also come and ask her about that time as well. They were usually satisfied with stories of tanks rolling through the marketplace, but Tessa wanted more. This time, she had brought some pictures to show. The Yia-Yia thought that the young man in one picture bore quite a resemblance to the young Count in the other picture. It was the other young man who'd visibly upset the Yia-Yia. She couldn't recall why, though. Tessa explained that it wasn't worth worrying about and said something else she couldn't remember.

The Yia-Yia recalled that Tessa had given her a phone number a long time ago. It was still in her purse, and although she didn't know how to use those phones the young people carried around these days, she thought of finding a pay phone and calling Tessa to ask her about the conversation. It was then that the waiter came and refilled her glass.

Yeah, why change a good thing now?

* * *

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Helen and Mander walked away from the Yia-Yia's table. Helen hated having to do The Thing to the old woman, but she'd started to get upset when Helen showed her the photos. Nonetheless, there was a spring in her step from having her suspicions confirmed.

"You've just figured it out." Mander said to her as they walked back to Bessie. "Ain'tcha?"

"I think I have." Helen replied, taking out her phone and calling the studio. She asked if Tad Chase had been seen today and was told he was in his trailer. She instructed the person on the other end not to tell him she'd called and let her know if he left. The secretary informed her that he hadn't left the lot since the second day of shooting and would likely be around. That got Helen thinking of what else happened on the second day of shooting. When they got in the old convertible, she took out her phone and brought up last week's news.

"There was an incident on the second day of shooting." She told Mander as she found the video someone had taken of the scene. A man wearing a Nazi uniform was walking toward a college. Mander watched it over her shoulder as people came from the street and out of the building and began accosting him.

"Bold choice of dress." Mander said. "Keith Moon and one of his mates used to do that; dress up like Nazis and go into German bars just to start fights."

They watched the video pan to the car he'd gotten out of before recording started, where a group of elderly people were accosting the driver. The owner of the phone got in closer and she recognized Tad Chase behind the wheel.

"Wasn't like that." She answered. "He had a thing with his kid come up; didn't have time to change before leaving the set. This video made the news because of him. But Tad's just in the car, getting it just as bad if not worse. For driving the Nazi to the college, you'd think. But what if it's something else?"

She shut off the video. Mander started the car and started driving to the studio.

"It all comes back to Steven Spielberg." Helen told him as he drove. "And Eliot's 'Band of Brothers casting. He picked his actors based on the real people they'd be playing. Gino Giovanni was cast because of his resemblance to Vincenzo. Tad Chase was cast because of his resemblance to Werner Schell. But it's more than a resemblance! She knew Gino wasn't Vincenzo, but she thought these two were the same person. Tad Chase doesn't just LOOK like Werner Schell, he looks JUST like Werner Schell! That's what I think Eliot was on to." Helen replied, looking at the pictures of Chase and Schell. "He got to thinking the same thing I am now after that but he didn't want to come out and say it to me or anyone else until he could be sure."

"If that's why he turned to the Wiesenthal people, they wouldn't have had anything on Schell to tell him. They're too busy looking for living Nazis to bother keeping track of ones that died in the War."

"That's what I've been getting at." Helen replied. "I think Werner Schell faked his death and Tad Chase is related to him."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Whatever Gets You through the Night Pt. 23

"Everywhere I go, there's someone in a trenchcoat staring at me.

When I'm not at home, I'm sure someone's rummaging through my trash.

Whatever could they want from me?

Is it just a part of a giant government conspiracy?

I gotta go see my doctor about this itchy pentargram-shaped rash."

-Barenaked Ladies, "Get In Line"

*

Tad Chase was playing one of the "Fallout" games in his trailer. He'd never had a trailer before, but now that he was one of the stars of a movie, they gave him one. Which had been fortunate, because he didn't like going off the lot after what had happened.

The door to his trailer opened and a large bald man checked the kill zones behind it before stepping inside. Tad stood and his eyes were immediately drawn to the large pistol holstered on his hip and the hand he kept on it.

"Tad Chase, I presume." Nigel Mander said to him politely, surveying the room while never taking his eyes off Tad completely. Tad confirmed it with a nod. "There's no cause for alarm. But you'll still want to sit down and keep your hands where I can see them."

Tad sat back down on the bed and did as he was told. After a more thorough check of the trailer, Mander called out.

"Clear, Countessness." He called to the outside; giving Tad a brief pat down.

Contessa Helena de San Finzione entered the trailer. She found a chair and sat across from Tad; Mander standing between them with his eye on the door. After the earlier incident, Ultimados were watching the trailer from outside, but he intended to be certain they'd be undisturbed.

"If you have cyanide, don't take it." She commanded. "Hello, Tad."

"Hi. Why would I..." Tad started to ask, confused.

"Forget about it." Helena commanded further. "I have questions and you're going to answer them truthfully." She lit a cigarette once she'd finished issuing commands. "Let's start with the first one: What's your real name, Tad Chase?"

"Theodore Robert Chase." He replied honestly. She looked at Mander. Looked like he hadn't made it up at all.

"OK, Tad." Helena replied with a drag. "Are you a Nazi?"

"I'm playing one in the movie, but I'm not."

She thought that was a reasonable answer.

"Tell me how you know Heinrich Dietz."

"From the news. He killed Eliot." He told her truthfully. "I saw the broadcast earlier."

"And you didn't know him before then?"

"No."

Whatever his role in all this, Chase wasn't aware of Dietz before today. She factored that into her line of thinking. She'd asked if he was a Nazi but she needed more detail and "Are you a racist?" would be open to personal interpretation.

"Do you think white people are superior to other races?"

"No." Tad answered right away.

"How do you know Werner Schell?"

"I'm... playing him in this movie." Tad replied. "Unless you're here to fire me."

"Haven't decided that yet, Tad. So," Helen took another drag. "This is your first role, isn't it?" She asked.

"I've done a couple of commercials." Tad answered. "But this is my first big part, yes. I never rated a trailer before."

"Ok. Back to Schell. You're not related to him? He's not your grandfather or great-grandfather?"

"No. My mom's dad passed five years ago; he was a farmer. My dad's dad died in the War."

Helena thought on that.

"Tell me more about him." She said. "Your father's dad."

"That's all I know." Tad answered. "Dad doesn't like to talk about him. 'He died in the War' is the most he'll say. He might've beat him and grandma. She died before I was born."

"'Doesn't like to talk about him;' present tense. So, Dad's still alive?"

"Yeah. They live in Wichita."

"Mom too? Do you talk to them?"

"Yeah."

"Don't tell them we talked. Or anyone else." Helena commanded. "Now, I'd like to know about the incident on day two of shooting. What happened?"

"Dave's kid fell off the slide at college and he needed a ride down the hill. My scenes were done for the day and I'd changed and was leaving so I offered to take him. I'd gotten some really bad looks in costume the day before, so I told him he should change, too; but he said there wasn't time. Some people came out of the college and stopped him as he was going in. Some old people came and crowded me in the car. I thought they were going to pull me out and beat me before the security officer showed up. I've only left the lot for filming since."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

She took a long drag as she took that in. Dave, the extra, was in costume, Tad wasn't. But he got it worse... from older generations. People who might have memories of the general he resembled so strongly that looking at the two photos herself now, Helena could mistake them for the same person if one hadn't been taken in the 1940s and the other wasn't a present-day actor's headshot. Could Arturo Lopez have been in that mob? If he hadn't been, how would he have reacted if he'd lived to see the film and saw what appeared to be Werner Schell still alive and executing his Count and Contessa again on the big screen?

"We may need to talk later, Tad." Helena informed him, reaching the end of her cigarette. There was no ash tray, so she grabbed a can from a wastebasket to put it out in. "So, I want you to only remember that I came by to discuss that incident." She commanded before shifting to a pleasant conversational tone. "That's not the kind of reception we like people to receive in San Finzione, Tad. You might have seen the director's Policia detail; they were on the job in the Caverns earlier. I'll arrange protection for you as well. We still want you to be able to experience our lovely country, but there's just too much going on around this film to take chances."

"Thank you, Contessa." He answered. "I've heard how beautiful this place is, but I've been afraid to go out and look around."

"Well, that won't be a worry now." She said with a smile as she stood up. "We'll let you get back to your game; they'll be here in a couple hours."

With that, Helena left the trailer. Mander looked at the game Tad had been playing before exiting.

"War." He told Tad. "War never changes."

With that, he closed the door and they left him to it.

Tad went back to exploring the wasteland.

Helen and Mander walked back to Bessie.

"Well, there's no lying to you." Mander told her. "If he's related to Schell, his dad's never told him."

"But you saw the photos, you saw him; he definitely is." Helen responded. "Dad's the one to talk to, but that's going to be a trip to States and we're closing the net on Dietz right now. Dad doesn't know we're on to him yet and I get the feeling he's not a big part of this. I'll have Caldwell-Pierce put a couple agents on him anyway."

"So, the picture'll come out, old-timers who were alive back then see Tad Chase in a Nazi costume doing Nazi shit and go 'That guy looks too much like the real Werner Schell to be a coincidence! He must've faked his death and survived the war!' They'd be ignored at first, but enough of 'em say the same and somebody'll take it seriously and look into it. But even if he lived, Schell's gotta be dead by now. If he ain't, he's gotta be a hundred years old!"

"I was raised by a man who lived to be over a hundred; it can be done. And if Schell was dead, that wouldn't be reason enough to kill Eliot. LeGrasse was right: The motive needed a motive, and we've just found it. Dietz was trying to shut the movie down, but he couldn't let Tad Chase come to harm. That's the motive of a grandparent or great-grandparent! And there'd be no point going to all this to cover up for a Nazi who evaded justice, died a free man, and beat the entire world years ago. The only reason to do it is that Werner Schell is still fucking alive and Dietz is protecting him!"

* * *

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Generalissimo Hernando Ramirez and Detective Inspector Luc Tomas Allaine stood on the bridge of the cruiser LCS Avanti. Ammiraglio Antonio Bagglia, Admiral of San Finzione's Naval Forces, stood with them and the captain as they patrolled the harbor. Ramirez ended a call with La Contessa.

"She's figured out why Dietz is doing all of this." He told Luc, stepping away from Bagglia and the bridge crew. "The actor playing the villain in the film is an unknowing descendant of the real man; a Nazi who's not supposed to have lived to see the end of The War."

Luc thought on the new information. La Contessa had promised to be better about keeping them updated on her activities since the cave-in. He thought she handled the State Department well.

"You're certain he had no relatives who might carry a family resemblance." Luc observed.

"This is a man we study in our history classes. He had no family. Then again, he is also supposed to be dead."

"I see. Even if the actor doesn't know him, Schell's probably followed his career from afar. Dietz started setting things in motion with Scott two weeks prior to the murder. Without looking it up, I'm guessing that the casting announcements were made around that time."

"You'd have to ask the movie people about that." Ramirez answered. "But it seems right. All of this, then, has been to protect a Nazi fugitive. It explains why Dietz stuck around after the initial murder. He's taking orders from someone. ODESSA, maybe?"

"Simon Wiesenthal said that ODESSA was a theory. He never proved their existence. If they were real and any of them were left, they'd be a cabal of withered old men connected to machines. And they'd have no issue with simply killing the actor to keep their secrets safe. No, only family goes to these lengths to simultaneously protect and undermine you."

Ramirez was forced to agree with Luc's assessment.

"The actor's father is still alive in America. La Contessa will be able to get more from him."

"Mmm." Luc Mmmed. "He has to be hiding something and she'll have an easier time getting to it than others." He picked up a pair of binoculars and scanned the shoreline with the last rays of sunset. "Let's find Dietz and see what more he can tell us."

* * *

Heinrich Dietz sat on the floor in the back of the van, slumped down so that he couldn't be seen from the outside. The rear windows were tinted, but he was afraid of taking the chance. Every once in a while, he got the nerve to peek out the back. What he saw behind them on the streets would then make him duck back down.

The white panel vans were chosen for their inconspicuousness, and since updates to the earlier broadcast informed The People that they were traveling in one, it felt anything but. When he saw people in the streetlights, all eyes seemed to be on the vehicle; questioning looks on the faces that went with them. Those with phones out all seemed to have them pointed at the van or weren't taking their eyes off the vehicle as they dialed someone.

He fought the urge, again, to tell In Charge to drive faster. They'd been listening to the radio and heard the update to be on the lookout for a van like the one they were in. Enough attention was being drawn. Surely every van like this must be getting the same scrutiny. They couldn't possibly KNOW this was the right one, could they?

Still, he imagined those other vans were being pulled over and checked. He patted the Sturmgewehr. If they encountered security officer and Heinrich Dietz had to go down shooting this day, he would be firing a masterpiece. Assuming he made it out of this country alive, he had two souvenirs: the gun and the extra SS uniform. Another man down in the caverns may have helped, but he preferred to have three bodies left standing between him and any bullets than two. He thought of putting on the uniform to be dressed for the occasion in case this was the end.

It was too soon for that kind of pessimism. He could still make it to the ship and escape. He'd seen on the news before that Luc Allaine from Interpol had come out of his office for this, but he evaded security officermen all the time. He'd been a wanted man for years. He'd escaped manhunts larger than this one; in countries with many more forces to bring down upon him.

But none of them had HER on their side! The fucking Thief who sat on the throne of this tourist trap and had outmaneuvered him at every turn. And when he found out she'd escaped from the cave-in? She wasn't just a smart thief, she was a fucking lucky one, too! Having taken the time to read up on her online, rumors of some kind of supernatural power were scattered throughout. He'd thought they were hyperbole, but his time in San Finzione was convincing him that there might be something to it. He'd focused on more practical information relating to the mission and was now wishing he'd strayed on one or two of those links. Perhaps the woman DID possess some kind of magic!

The van slowed to a stop. He sat up, flattening against the interior, gun at the ready. In Charge saw him in the mirror and motioned to stay down.

"Gate guard." He told Dietz. "I know what to do."

His annoyance at now being completely dependent on the man he once called Dummkopf to survive made him consider bothering to learn some names on the next job; assuming there was one. It was too late for this one.

In Charge handed an envelope out the window of the vehicle. The waiting went on long enough for Dietz to start counting the seconds in his head, knowing many had already passed and he was behind. Around the time he got to a minute plus whatever it had been at the start was when the sound of a gate being lifted could be heard and they proceeded past. He peeked out the back window at the dock gate closing behind them.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"We're clear now." In Charge told him from the driver's seat. "The warehouse has been abandoned for over a year and we can park the van inside. We'll hide here for a couple of hours; the boat isn't far."

Dietz nodded. They rounded a corner.

"Then what?" He asked.

"Then I don't tell you the rest, so my usefulness doesn't end, and you don't shoot me right here, Herr Dietz." In Charge told him. "Yeah, I'm not SUCH a fucking 'dummkopf' that I haven't figured out what happens once I 'outlive my usefulness.' I don't intend to do that. The escape plan was for a lot more than the four of us and there's no reason we all shouldn't get out of the shit that following YOU has put us in TOGETHER!"

The looks in the eyes of the other two who'd been in the back of the van with him told of thoughts of how they didn't need Dietz anymore at all and maybe La Contessa would go easy on them if they left him dead or hogtied for her.

"We..." Dietz searched for words. "We cannot let paranoia divide us now! That is how they get you! Tearing each other apart at the critical moment would be playing into HER hands! You are, as I said, In Charge. We will follow your plan."

The others were caught off guard by the first thing they'd heard from him that sounded like it might come from the mouth of a real leader and the moment passed.

In Charge got out and opened the door to the abandoned warehouse. One of the others drove it in and he closed it behind, the vehicle now off the streets.

* * *

The old gate guard watched the white van drive past his checkpoint onto the docks, then turn into the line of warehouses along the waterfront. He had a good idea which warehouse they were heading toward.

He remembered it from a little over a year ago. When he accepted another envelope of cash from the driver of a vehicle like always, then found himself staring down the barrel of a gun carried by the new guy who'd started that day.

The new guy turned out not to be a new guy at all, but a member of La Squadra de Ultimados. He'd found himself arrested, tossed into the back of a Policia car, and sitting alone in an interrogation room for what felt like hours before the woman from the Ministry of Intelligence came to him.

He recalled the deal she offered him. That she could leave him here to be imprisoned and spend his retirement behind bars or he could keep the money and have an opportunity to make a lot more. She gave him a telephone number and told him that all he had to do was call them whenever he got another "tip" from someone wanting to go through his checkpoint without inconvenience.

Despite the red toupee the driver wore, he'd also recognized him from Contessa Maria's broadcast that morning. Only decades of this side job of not asking questions for money allowed him to keep a poker face when he recognized one of the Nazis before him.

He took out his phone. The number for the woman with the Ministry was already programmed in and he knew the number to call to alert La Policia that he'd spotted the Nazis. He didn't know if calling them first would violate the deal. It would certainly mean admitting to them that he'd accepted their bribe, if not others.

After another moment's thought, he decided that his Contessa had called upon The Sword and his duties to it mattered more. He took the chance and called the second number.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Whatever Gets You through the Night Pt. 24


"You better...

make your face up in your favorite disguise,

with your button-down lips and your roller-blind eyes.

With your empty smile and your hungry heart,

feel the bile rising from your guilty part.

With your nerves in tatters as the cockleshell shatters.

When the hammers batter down your door,

you better run."

-Pink Floyd, "Run Like Hell"

*

The gate guard came up with a story where the driver had offered him substantially less money than he had to pass through his gate. The part where he recognized them from television and decided it was best to accept their bribe, let them through, then call it in; rather than try to be a hero, had been true in both the real and fictional versions of the tale.

La Policia's tip-lines had been ringing since Maria's broadcast. Officers on the street had been stretched thin responding to every credible report of a man, group of men, or vehicle matching the descriptions. Blonde, blue-eyed, white males in their late 20s were complaining of racial profiling by late afternoon.

When the guard said that the driver of the van had bribed him, that stood out as being very credible. With so much of San Finzione's economy dependent upon Service and Hospitality and their support businesses, white delivery vans were a common sight in the city, and too many reports had come in to follow up on each one. When he mentioned the red wig, a detail left out of the public broadcasts, the two facts made his call a priority. Once the officers in the first car saw the video, more cars and armored vans followed. Barricades were now being set up around the corner; out of view from the building the guard indicated.

While this was happening, inside the warehouse, Heinrich Dietz was looking over the building that In Charge had chosen for their final fallback point. From there, it was a short run to a dock where speedboats waited. The other men unloaded the guns and ammunition from the van. Apart from his laptop, nothing else might be needed now.

The sun was going down and Dietz had figured out that In Charge's plan was to wait until it got darker, then head out to a ship whose captain and crew were sympathetic to The Cause past the country's waters. He was keeping the time, coordinates, and name of the ship that would take them away from San Finzione to himself. From there, they'd presumably join the crew belowdecks and shovel coal or something until they got to the next port, then scatter. Dietz amended his previous plan of killing them all at the first opportunity. Having three other trails to follow once they escaped would be more beneficial to him.

There was also the client to consider. The chance to work for a real piece of history; a man who knew The Fuhrer personally, had been almost as much motivation as the money. It would never be safe to report his failure to Schell, but it had to be done and he couldn't open his laptop to do it until they were out of the country. Perhaps he'd understand. After all, he'd failed the Reich and somehow, the Fuhrer forgave him. Maybe he'd return the favor.

It wasn't worth betting his life on. He checked out the place that would be their hideout for however long they were to wait. Going down a hall from the main warehouse floor led to a smaller room containing what had once, judging by the large hinges, been a secured room before the door was cut away and removed. The presence of a bed chained to the wall inside indicated to Dietz that "cell" had been the correct word to describe the room. It made him curious about what had been kept in this place before it was abandoned.

An odd jumble of something by the bed caught his attention. Dietz hesitated for a moment with his torch before shining it onto the objects. In Charge said that the place had been abandoned for over a year. He'd been prepared to kill a homeless person or two squatting in the building but hadn't seen any. It smelled like dust, mold, and the nearby ocean rather than human habitation. The odds that his light would reveal some hobo's discarded alternative to toilet paper seemed minimal. Curiosity demanded attention and he shined the light on the assortment of odd shapes.

In a year's dust accumulation, they looked to him, at first, to be small first efforts to self-teach origami. Upon further inspection, they were discarded wads of something, but not paper. He stepped in for a closer look. He was standing over them when he recognized them for what they were: twelve wadded-up balls of duct tape and a pair of long-exhausted glowsticks. He pondered for a moment why these things were left in a room that was once obviously a cell. It wasn't a long moment.

Dietz quick-walked back into the main room. In Charge was checking his watch while the other two checked the room, discussing possible defenses if it came to it. Dietz shone the torch around the edges of the room, now interested in what sort of other trash might be around.

"In Charge," he asked, his eyes lighting on the moldy, torn-off cardboard lid of a pizza box. "How did you find out about this place?"

"Scott told me about it." He replied. "He said it had been abandoned for a long time."

Dietz walked over to the lid and saw that something had been drawn on it in black marker. Something written in an Asian language that he didn't understand. He walked toward In Charge.

"Did he tell you WHY it was abandoned for so long?" Dietz asked, stumbling in the darkness and dropping his torch.

"No." In Charge replied.

Dietz bent down to pick it up. In the light it cast upon the floor, he took note of brown dots and splotches on the floor. Seemingly a row of them in the middle of the room. He'd spilled enough blood to know that was what the dried brown splotches were.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"That schwein..." He began to yell before stopping himself. He shined the torch on the ceiling and now saw the gaping hole that once held the glass of a skylight before continuing in a lower voice.

"There's a REASON nobody's been here since then! Something fucking BIG happened here! Which means they know all about this place! SHE knows all about this place!"

* * *

"Yeah, we know all about this place." Contessa Helena de San Finzione told Mander, lighting a cigarette while he sped them to the scene. They decided Bessie had been through enough today and were now in the Lotus Esprit. "It's the warehouse where Whyte scammed the Triads into setting up their human trafficking stop. The one we shut down the night before Morgan attacked me. It's down on the docks and Luc's right: a boat's his only hope of getting out now."

"That's a bit of a coincidence, innit?" Mander asked, rounding a corner.

"Not as much as you'd think." Helen answered, putting the cigarette lighter back. "This is a big city in a tiny country, but we're not Gotham. Our warehouses and amusement parks are mostly in use. There aren't a lot of abandoned ones to choose from." The cigarette hadn't quite caught, so she took a series of small puffs to get it going. "One of the earliest things we figured out about them was that they didn't do much prep work before setting out. Otherwise, they might've learned why the place was abandoned: because it was Triad-owned, and I threw them out of San Finzione about a year ago."

"So," Mander said. "The casting announcement comes out and Schell finds out his grandson's got the part. Might even be proud of the kid for a second before realizing what this is gonna mean for him. What the fuck's he gonna do? How does he stop a movie from being made? WITHOUT harming the grandkid. Answer: Kill the director. So, he calls Dietz."

"It's a Nazi hitman's dream come true!" Helen added. "Dietz probably never shuts up about his family's past, and now a real Nazi from Way Back Then has a job for him. Schell's probably got a hoard of Nazi gold to finance the operation with and this is his grandson here, which explains the huge bankroll. He probably paid Dietz in swastika-stamped bars of it."

"Right," Mander followed. "That the target happens to be Jewish as well is just icing on the cake. The Director has to die; the hate crime part's just an added bonus."

"But he needs a crew and he doesn't have a lot of time to put a decent one together. Like you were saying yesterday, he's such a dick that nobody'll work with him a second time. So, he HAS to trade on his name and rep and get his crew from the ranks of those who'd be impressed by them; jackoffs from some FRAUD Nazi version of Craigslist. Adolfslist?"

"And like we discussed yesterday, gets back the level of criminal who'd advertise on Adolfslist; cause you're probably right about that name. Fellow racists with a few priors; they're serious and check out, but they ain't the ace team of Aryan Supermen he was hoping for. Can't be helped; the clock's ticking. He's gotta do this early enough on in the process; before the studio's sunk too much money into it. Otherwise, even someone without Your Countessness' personal reasons might look at the expense thus far and conclude the same as you: The show must go on with a new director."

"When that fails," Helen followed along. "Sabotage the production however he can while keeping Tad out of harm's way until it's NOT worth continuing the project! We still don't know the point of the castle attack: Assassinating Maria, wrecking the set and surrounding neighborhood, or a two-for-one deal. The set's being rebuilt, and Compton wants to work the damaged wall into the story. They're going to blow up a prop wall at the studio, then drive tanks through the real one for the invasion scene. It's still a big damn hole in the castle wall until then, though, so it's being guarded. We've stepped up security everywhere else too, on the off chance he's trying the same misdirect shit Whyte was into."

"Either way, same end result: Your Countessness is even more determined not to let fucking Nazis stop her. The show WILL go on! Now Dietz has to escalate; do one of them cowboy hits and kill enough people that you'd have no choice but to shut it all down. He's got two ways he can go about it: Mass shooting with the guns and costumes or bombing campaign with the C-4. He ain't above killing innocents but there's one he can't allow to come to harm: Tad Chase. So, he can't risk using bombs unless he knows for certain Chase won't be there."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"No." Helen thought for a drag. "Being a clever fuck, he saves his explosives to use defensively; as pursuit deterrent. We assume he used just as much as he did on the cave bombs when he blew up their last hideout and is therefore out of C-4. But when you assume, you make an ass that explodes before you finish the saying. He also needs to make sure he's going to strike when Tad's not on the set. A call sheet could tell him that. Scott was in maintenance; he had access to the whole studio. Probably not even suspicious for him to want a copy. Luc's people found that a few costumes disappeared from Wardrobe too. We can guess what happened to those."

"He's failed his Nazi hero for the third time. And now he's learned why ya don't cross San Finzione, especially her royalty. Whatever happens next, Dietz is fucked, and he knows it. He ain't gonna come peaceably."

When they passed through the gate and could see La Policia's team ready to move in was when they heard gunfire up ahead.

* * *

Inside the warehouse, time ticked by. They didn't know if there was still power to the building and it wasn't worth calling attention to themselves to flip a light switch and find out. The other three sat by the van and talked amongst themselves as Heinrich Dietz paced; his eye drifting periodically to that open skylight. A weak point in their position that he had no real way of defending if it came to a siege.

Not if, he thought, but when. Every second they waited was another that the security officer could come smashing into the room and it was only a matter of time before they did so. He stopped pacing and listened. He listened to the murmurs of their conversation and the sounds of the nearby sea.

"Quiet!" Dietz hissed at them. The conversation ceased. He listened again, hearing nothing but the crashing of waves and the calls of sea birds. No sounds of dockworkers coming or going, no trucks passing by, no sounds of cargo cranes in use. Nothing one would expect to hear in a working port just after sundown. An entirely wrong stillness.

"They're here!" He hissed again, unshouldering his weapon. "It's quiet outside because they've cleared the civilians from the area! They're getting ready to come in!"

The others scrambled to their feet. Dietz peered out a grime-covered window. He couldn't make out anyone in the streetlights, but if they knew this place, they probably also knew the best way to approach stealthily.

Something needed to be done. Dietz needed to take some kind of action. At least give himself time to think of what that action could be. He needed to stop the security officer and the army from coming through the door. Standing up, he walked to that door, stuck the barrel of the Sturmgewehr outside, and blindly fired three rounds out in the street.

"Stay away!" Dietz shouted at the sounds of rapidly retreating combat boots that followed. "We've wired the building to blow!"

Outside, the SWAT team scurried back around the corner where the Policia barricade had been set up. Dietz turned to the others.

"You see?" He told them. "I've bought us a little time now. Figure out how we're going to get out or defend this place!" When the men didn't act immediately, he added a "NOW! SCHNELL!"

They scattered to look for positions. Dietz looked at the uniform in its plastic bag, hanging from a doorframe. He walked to get it and go into the back area to change.

Now it felt like time to dress for the occasion.

* * *

[Ramesh_Rocky]

A few seconds after Dietz opened fire, the shots on shore were heard in the launch leaving the LCS Avanti, running silent in the harbor. Generalissimo Hernando Ramirez, Detective Inspector Luc Tomas Allaine, and the Ultimados accompanying them hunkered down in their body armor. The pilot turned the prow of the launch toward the docks and the engines roared to life.

"Shots fired!" Came over the Generalissimo's radio, confirming what they'd heard a moment before. A few moments later came the message "He says they've wired the building."

Behind them, the Ammiraglio ordered the ship powered up. Ramirez gave Luc a look that asked if he thought Dietz was telling the truth.

"We think we've accounted for all the C-4 in Scott's crate!" Luc shouted over all the engine noise. "He may have had more! Dietz is in a panic; he's never come this close to being caught! He'll say or do anything now, so a bluff is just as likely!"

"If he's got hostages," Ramirez shouted back. "he hasn't said!"

The pilot turned off the engine and glided toward a dock with two large speedboats tied to it. Ultimados jumped out and secured them while the pilot of their craft did the same. The two of them drew their weapons and stepped onto the wooden planks.

"I think we've just found his escape route." Luc commented before turning to Ramirez. "There are no hostages. He'd have been sure to tell us. He would have needed to take them before blowing up their last hideout. With the entire country watching out for him and his team, grabbing someone off the street wasn't an option. The bluff would last as long as it took your people to do a thermal scan of the building, which I'm sure has already been done."

"Si." Ramirez said in a low tone as they entered the middle of the Ultimados moving up the ramp to the shore. "They confirm four people inside. Three have taken up defensive positions; the fourth, from his movements, appears to be changing clothing."

"That's Dietz!" Luc said back in an excited whisper. "If he were changing into a disguise, all of them would be doing so. This is an act of vanity in a moment of crisis. He's dressing for his swan song."

"Generalissimo," the voice of Capitan Ortega said to both of them from the headsets on their helmets. "Hold your advance. SU: LFC is en route to your position."

He groaned before ordering the Ultimados to take cover in the alley they'd been moving through while they waited. Luc followed him.

"SU stands for 'Special Unit," I would imagine. LFC?" Luc asked.

"La Fucking Contessa." Helen explained from the shadows. A moment later, she and Mander emerged. Mander had changed from his usual shorts and t-shirt into black slacks and a matching turtleneck. Helen was dressed in a black catsuit, her Prada bag slung over her shoulder.

"You got to us quickly." Ramirez stated with the tone of a man who knew he was about to be asked to do something he didn't want to do.

"Well, Mander and I know a thing or two about sneaking through back alleys." She replied, lighting a cigarette. The Generalissimo took that to mean they'd be holding position for a bit and ordered the troops to keep watch.

In his head, the Generalissimo went through the things he should say. That La Contessa shouldn't be here. That it was dangerous and about to get more dangerous. That she should go back behind the barricades and let the professionals handle it. He'd also had enough similar discussions with La Contessa to recognize that he wasn't going to win at this point.

"We found the boats they planned to escape in and cut off their route." Ramirez told her. "They have no way out."

"Dietz has concluded this by now." Luc added. "He's learned how your country feels about Nazis and that he wouldn't survive seventy-two hours in prison here. The only place he has to run from here is Valhalla."

"That's why I don't plan to give him the option." Helen replied. She turned to Ramirez. "He's got guns, he might have bombs, we're reasonably sure he's carrying cyanide like the others. We've got him boxed in. And I promised these fuckers weren't going to kill anyone else, remember? I didn't decree it or anything, but I'm doing it one now! And there's only way we're going to take him alive without more of The People being hurt."

Helen took a drag of her cigarette. Everyone knew what her next thought would be.

"Get me in close enough to make him surrender."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Whatever Gets You through the Night Pt. 25


"5th of May, V-Day's just around the corner.

1945, the Fuhrer's reign's at its end.

Jenny at the gates as the SS open fire.

There's no time to waste; the final battle's begun.

After the downfall, a castle besieged.

Facing the Nazis, awaiting relief.

Gangl and Lee and their men set the prisoners free."

-Sabaton, "The Last Battle"

*

Contessa Helena de San Finzione looked at a map of the warehouse that Detective Inspector Luc Allaine brought up on his tablet. He was now learning what his friend, Generalissimo Hernando Ramirez, had warned him about finding himself "overburdened with help."

"There are four entrances." Helen said aloud as the others gathered around it. "The front, garage, and side doors all open onto the main warehouse floor. The back entrance is at the end of the corridor that leads to the office with the cell. The cell door's gone; I had it removed and melted down. Then he's trapped with nowhere to run."

"One man standing where this one is can cover sides one and two of the building." Generalissimo Ramirez observed. "The second, here," He pointed to a spot in the main room. "Can do the same. The third can cover side three because the only access to the warehouse floor from that direction is the corridor. Four is a poured concrete wall with no possible entrances; we'd have to use our own bombs to get in. The skylight hole in the roof seems an obvious gap in the defense, but anyone coming through it will be in the first two guns' crossfire. Dietz will likely position himself here." Ramirez indicated the room with the cell.

"He's not as boxed in there as you'd think." Mander observed. "Nowhere to fall back but the cell, true. But him and the guy watching the hall would have a SWAT team in an L-shaped ambush. Whoever comes down it won't make it to the end. Then it's his one last chance of shooting his way through the perimeter and getting someplace he can grab a hostage and maybe bargaining his way out of the country."

"So, there's no way he hasn't already thought of it and decided to take it." Luc mused. "Even if we knew for certain that he doesn't have any more bombs, we can't risk Dietz taking his cyanide."

"That's my department." Helen answered. She looked in her purse for the cigarette case she'd put away. "Let me worry about that. Mander and I just need a way in."

"Like when Whyte hit the suite." Nigel Mander observed. "Break your way in and the first guys through the breaches are dead. Even if he's bluffing about the bomb, the first ones in will be slaughtered."

"And nobody who isn't a Nazi is getting slaughtered." Helen commented. "I decreed it, remember?" She turned her attention back to the map. "We're still guessing about whether or not he's lying about rigging the place. He's not suicidal but we've definitely pushed him. Especially if he's changed clothes for it. Who wants to put money on whether or not he's just put on a Nazi costume?"

"Dietz had a dozen men to start with." Mander observed. "Now he's down to three. He's been treating them as expendable, now he needs those last three between us and him."

"Three who are probably as scared and jumpy as him." Helen added. "If we could get onto that roof, I might be able to command them from there. If one of them doesn't hear me, though, we'll be exposed. If we could get them to use up their ammo, we could move in while they're changing magazines."

"There are too many variables in that plan." Ramirez insisted. "Assuming all of them expend their magazines at once, you'd have three seconds to act; less if one of them is well-practiced enough. Even then, they might be deafened from the gunfire and not hear you."

"They ain't practiced." Mander interjected. "We learned that back at the caverns. Granted, we had the drop on them, but it was pistols against submachineguns; they still should've gotten at least one of us before we got them. But how many of them could've trained on the MP-40 before now? How many could've even gotten hold of a real one before this? Where would they practice? Anywhere they could've gone in this country, someone would notice a bunch of guys firing automatic weapons."

"Oui," Luc added. "They had to canvass the area around Silverman's apartment with the phony flyers and that ploy had to work the first time. Dietz had too much to lose by risking a second for target shooting. Scott couldn't possibly have stockpiled enough .32 ammunition for that many men to familiarize themselves with the guns and have enough left over for the job AND Dietz's current predicament."

"All right." Helen stated, stepping back from the others to light up. "Hernando, we're going to skip the part where you tell me all about how it's too dangerous and I have responsibilities and children now and can't take these kinds of risks and go straight to my response."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

He signaled his understanding. She took the cigarette away from her lips and took a deep inhale of air before continuing.

"For those who weren't there, why Mander's 'pro boner' joke went over well enough with Maria and I for me to set him up for it a second time was because La Familia's motto happens to be 'Malum Pro Bono Mutuamur.' One of the ways that can be translated, Vincenzo's favorite; you all get a pass on saying it for now. HIS favorite way to interpret it was 'We Harness Evil for Good.' He lived by that. It was why he kept Santori around. It was why he kept the rest of La Familia on the business side. He knew they were going to steal; he did what Propappou told Troy to do; make them come to HIM for PERMISSION to steal!"

She took a deep drag. A warm breeze caught the smoke and carried it away.

"You've all figured out that I'm Juliessa Skankeko, right?" Everyone did. "Apart from having to learn screenwriting, why it took me so long to write the script was that I had to hold back. I want the world to see the Vincenzo I knew without gushing all over the page. Being pregnant with twins and having Maria in charge gave me time but I had to step back from it often. Played a lot of 'Stardew Valley' on the Switch; watched a bunch of the classic 70s sitcoms both he and Propappou loved. Made me wonder if I could be the kind of parent Propappou was or if I'd become so overwhelmed that I'd..." She needed a drag before continuing. "I'd be the kind Vincenzo had a little gallows humor joke about admitting he'd been. He didn't have my ability to cut through politics both international and familial to do what's right for The People. And I never broke a vow to the man. Not our wedding vows, not the one to take care of Maria and the country..."

Helen needed another breath of air.

"And not the one he made me take after I offered to teach him The Thing; to never offer it to him again."

The others gave her a moment while she mentally pimp-slapped her tear ducts into submission.

"Of course, I told him. It was a few nights after he proposed. I revealed why I had such a 'way with people.' I didn't ask the others' permission to teach him, but can any of you think of someone more deserving? Even in the short time he had left, how much MORE good he could have done with it? I TRY to harness it for good; he would've done it easily. He said that the absolute power he already possessed was sometimes too much for him and the last thing he needed was more of it. When I'm really feeling his loss, the thought that comes out of the darkest part of my head is that he might have had the motto in mind when he proposed: Absolute power recognizing absolute power and deciding to harness it for good. I knew what it is to bear The Ring. He didn't want TWO One True Rings. That is the man that the world should know!"

Her cigarette burned out while she'd been speaking. There was a decent drag or two left, so she re-lit it.

"My husband had his moment to take revenge for the murder of his parents. He didn't do it. And if he were alive now and learned that Schell still lived, he still wouldn't do it. He'd do what he thought was right and let the courts decide Schell's fate."

She took one more drag, dripped the cigarette, and stomped it out.

"As I'm reminded multiple times a day, I am not Vincenzo. I'm going to decide his fate because I am Contessa and I claim that right! Therefore, I am going to find Werner Schell, I am going to bring him back to San Finzione, and I am going to deliver the sentence that Vincenzo was too good a person to, but I am most definitely not. For his parents, for San Finzione, and yes, for myself; I call for the death of this enemy of San Finzione. I don't know what shape he'll be in and don't care if I'm going to have to get an iron lung shoved onto a cargo plane; nobody executes him but me. We have one lead to finding him; Tad Chase's dad. Dietz doubles that number. So, I want him alive now, too. His goons won't have been told enough to be any use to us. I call three Nazi thugs acceptable losses. The Avanti's guns are ready to level the place, bombs and all, with nothing of value lost as soon as I give the order. I'm not going to, though."

Helena opened her purse and took out her phone. She began dialing the film studio.

"The question of bombs and bluffing is a mental coin-flip and I keep coming up tails. We need to exhaust their ammo. You're right, Luc. If Scott had enough bullets lying around to arm all of them AND hold out in there for any decent length of time, you'd have found some evidence; empty crates or you would've found something on his computer, Luc. They took a bunch to the caverns; they can't have much left. Tell La Policia to stall. He thinks we're going to storm in and kill him any second, so he's bluffing for time. Ask what his demands are; that's a curve ball he won't see coming and will give ME time to get MY idea in motion."

"Are any of us going to get to hear the plan?" Mander asked.

"As soon as I see if it can be done. I'll need to ask for a couple of your people as well, Hernando. We need to get them panicking and shooting at shadows.

* * *

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Heinrich Dietz emerged from the back room dressed in the height of Nazi fashion. He ignored their questions and went over to a grime-encrusted window. Flattening himself against the wall to avoid possible snipers, he looked down at the water's edge. Looking as far as he could without exposing himself, he saw the stern of a naval vessel in the harbor.

"Now her fucking navy is here!" He told them. "Even if they haven't found our boats yet, they'll blow us out of the water before we reach the ship! We're completely fucked now! There's no way they'll..."

He was interrupted by a voice over a bullhorn.

"Heinrich Dietz!" The voice called. "This is Acting security officer Prefect Romano. We have the building surrounded. We are willing to hear your list of demands."

A light turned on in his brain. They wanted his demands? Why? The moment they stopped believing his bluff, he was finished. Why would they accept a deal at this stage?

"She must be playing for time as well." He concluded. The Thief HAD to be behind this. She must have some clever thief plan for him. Would she face him herself? With all her soldiers and security officer, it didn't seem likely. No, she'd hunted him down and had him surrounded. The only reason to give HIM a chance to stall would be if she needed to prepare her own plans. She was throwing her gauntlet down. And giving him no choice but to pick it up.

"We are preparing our list! We shall deliver it shortly!"

He closed the door and moved away from it in case someone tried to shoot through the wall to get him.

"You heard the man." He told the others. "We've got more time. Find a way out. Try..." He was at a loss for what they could do. "Try pulling up floorboards in the lavatory. Maybe we can somehow get to the sewers." He went to the van, found a scrap of paper and began looking for something to write with.

"While you're doing that, I'll come up with some demands."

* * *

Helen and Mander parted with Ramirez's team and started climbing the fire escape of a nearby building. Two of the Ultimados also broke with the others to get into position for their role in La Contessa's plan. While they'd been talking, Mander had gotten the duffel bag he'd stashed nearby. He tried to set it down on the rooftop without it clattering.

"You're sure you wanna freak Dietz out and push him over the edge?"

"Dietz has the fear of me now." Helen replied. "Or possibly the fear of Maria." A little smile came across Helen's face. "I've been fucking with his schemes but she's the one who brought the Sword. Hey, he might even think of HER as a mortal enemy." She gave a tiny shudder and brushed away an imaginary tear. "Her first one. I am SO fucking proud of that girl!" Helen got serious and resumed. "He's panicked but not suicidal or he'd have taken the cyanide already. He's not ready to snap yet."

"If this works, you'll see to that." Mander responded, opening the bag. He produced a crossbow and handed Helen the Uzi he'd collected earlier before producing his AK=47.

"It should freak them the fuck out if it works and everyone's ready." Helen said, activating the headset she was wearing. "ACME 1, how are we doing?" She asked.

"ACME 1 loaded up and in position." A voice said over the sound of helicopter blades. News choppers weren't being allowed near the scene and the dock was sealed off. Everyone who'd been working in the area had been evacuated back to the gate. La Policia and San Finzione's troops were the only ones to witness the show. Helen hefted her purse over her shoulder. The smoke grenade she'd gotten from Ramirez rested on top of her pistol, cigarette case, and the little black case inside.

"Sounds like everyone's good to go." She looked over at Mander. "Ready to do something insane?"

"I answered the phone, didn't I?"

Helen smiled at that and lit a smoke, then activated her microphone.

"Prefect Romano." She said into it. "Patch me in."

* * *

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Heinrich Dietz stared at the piece of paper he'd been trying to come up with demands on, desperate to come up with more.

"Safe passage out of the country" was the first item, naturally. After that, he wrote "a million euros," because why not, and racked his brain for more. Asking for food and water would be a bad move. They'd drug or poison it and he'd also tip them off that they didn't have supplies with which to drag this out.

His train of thought was interrupted by a loudspeaker clicking on.

"Hello, Heinrich." A soft, feminine voice said, blasted from the PA systems on the security officer vehicles. "This is Contessa Helena de San Finzione. Ruler of the country you've been causing problems in this week. If you wanted my attention, you absolutely have it. I'm sorry we can't have a proper conversation, so you're just going to have to listen to me."

She took a drag. If the Thing could be transmitted electronically, she could end all of this right now. Since it didn't work like that, she continued.

"I know you're busy coming up with your demands; be sure to ask for some of your 'brothers in arms' to be let out of prison, everybody loves that one. Don't get too 'Die Hard' on me, though. Oh, and I have a demand for you, as well. If there's to be any talk of you leaving this country, there's something you're going to have to do first."

She gave a little pause. The helicopter that had been hovering at a distance started flying toward the warehouse.

"You've had a lot of fun in my country, but there's one thing you must do." Helen told him.

With that, Helen fired the blooper onto the rooftop. The smoke grenade exploded and let out a cloud that poured down the hole in the roof. This covered the copter's approach and it hovered thirty feet above the hole.

"Those dead Nazis you've clogged up my morgue with? I insist you take your trash with you when you leave."

With the signal given, two men in the back of the helicopter grabbed the first body and tossed it into the hole. Through the smoke coming in, Dietz and his men saw the man-shaped object land with a wet thud, splattering dark fluid as it hit. Panicked, the two men in the main room opened fire, riddling the body with holes. A moment later, a second one hit and they did the same. This was followed by a third and a fourth.

Dietz boggled at the sight. The woman was fucking raining bodies onto them. He shone his flashlight on the bodies. Another hit, spraying what he could now see was blood when it hit.

"Hold your fire!" He yelled, getting closer. He could see now that the bodies were in uniforms like the one he was wearing. Was she really going to drop all nine of his expended team down the hole? He dragged a body away from the pile, dodging another, to examine.

When he turned the body over was when he saw that the uniforms weren't filled with human bodies, but dummies made of plastic and cloth. The splatters of blood when they impacted with the floor, he could see were provided by bags of stage blood taped to them.

"Stop shooting!" He shouted to them. He had to do so a second time before the men stopped shooting. "They're dummies," Dietz told them. "It's a trick! Who the fuck would do this?"

On the rooftop, Mander loaded his crossbow. The two of them heard him shouting at the others.

"No question of whether or not you've freaked him the fuck out." Mander observed. "You ready for the next crazy part?"

Helen put out her cigarette and nodded. Mander attached a spool of cable from his bag to the bolt and found a good spot to aim for. He pulled the trigger and the metal bolt sailed across the alley, embedding it's head into the concrete. A press of a button, and the line straightened and went taught.

"I'd normally say ladies first." Mander added, threading the cable through a pair of trolleys before securing this end. "But since one of us is wearing a vest and the other couldn't fit one under her Emma Peel outfit, I should probably take the lead."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"You just want to hurry up and get some ziplining in, don't you?" Helen asked, pulling them into position. The two of them shouldered their weapons and grabbed hold of the handlebars.

"Well, I packed it along for a reason." He replied, grabbing onto his own trolley and jumping off. When he got nearly to the end of the line, he tucked himself into a ball and dropped onto the roof. He then stood ready to catch Helen when she made it down and across.

With one last drag of her cigarette, Helen tossed it off the building before jumping herself. The well-oiled ziplining trolley made hardly a sound as she rode. She crossed the air above the alley, coming to a stop by slamming into Mander's chest. He hoisted her off the line and set her down on the roof. They couldn't be seen from the inside, but they were standing above the central warehouse floor now.

"We made it." She told the headset. Above, ACME 1 stopped dropping bodies and flew away from the gunfire coming out of the hole. Helen disengaged the mic and turned back to Mander.

"He should be discovering the trick by now, wondering who'd think of something this fucked. Time to hit him with the next part."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Whatever Gets You through the Night Pt. 26


"Riding on this crazy train, I'm going paranoid.

Watch me lose my mind and break the law. (Breaking the law! Breaking the law!)

I'm a metal machine. (It's close to midnight and he's barking at the moon!)

I'm a metal machine. (The rainbow in the dark is shining!)

I'm a metal machine! (It's close to midnight and he's barking at the moon!)

Unholy metal machine! (The kings of metal ride the sky!)"

-Sabaton, Metal Machine

*

Contessa Helena de San Finzione and Nigel Mander could hear the men in the warehouse taking turns reloading through the hole in the roof that housed a skylight before Ultimados smashed through it over a year ago in a previous raid on this building. When the first shouted that he'd reloaded, the second did the same.

"They've got enough discipline to not all reload at once, anyway." Mander muttered to her. They were twenty feet above Heinrich Dietz and the three Nazi thugs that were defending him. "So much for the Generalissimo's three-second window."

The two didn't dare get close enough to the edge to look in on them. From the shouting, the Nazis' ears were ringing from shooting. Her ability to compel the minds of others required both physical proximity and that she be able to convey her message to the subject. She couldn't be certain they'd hear her command and they had to be watching the hole for the next trick. The first thing that peeked into the opening would be riddled with bullets.

"He's not going anywhere." Helen whispered back. "I've got all night to fuck with him and the money to make it entertaining." She activated the headset. "ACME 2, how are we doing?"

The man from the movie studio hesitated.

"ACME 2 is ready. Awaiting your signal. Though I still must protest. These units are very delicate; if anything happens to them..."

Helena cut him off.

"Then we'll know they work, and we'll get those people to make more for us." She informed him.

"Understood. Ready to deploy."

Helen disengaged the radio.

"It's a good bet they probably won't hear ya now." Mander told her.

"The goons won't." She replied. "Dietz is back down that hall. Unlike the others, he's probably fired enough guns in enclosed spaces to think of ear plugs. The prick wouldn't bring enough for the rest of the class. But yeah, there's no guarantee he'll hear me from up here."

"Yeah, but we don't give a fuck about the others, do we? Except inasmuch as you've bagged one more than me. Do the guys in the tank count as one or three?"

"Three!" Helen insisted. "You wouldn't let me weasel ahead like that. We're 4-3. Dietz is the only one who'll be able to tell us anything about Schell; the other three can be used to settle this once I'm done breaking them. Speaking of which, let's get on with that."

She activated the mic and was patched into La Policia's PA system again.

* * *

[Ramesh_Rocky]

From outside, Dietz heard the loudspeakers activating before the Thief spoke again in a breathy voice.

"Here's what's going down, boppers." Helen's voice came through the air. "Looks like those Nazis didn't appreciate my rendition of 'It's Raining Men.'" She dropped the Lynne Thigpen impression. "You're gonna need a better sense of humor than that to deal with me, Heinrich. People have said I can be a real monster to work with. That hasn't been your experience, has it Heinrich?"

Helen took the smoke grenade out of her purse. From the hall down below, she could hear Dietz shouting.

"Who the fuck is she?" Dietz shouted in German. "What is this Mickey Mouse shit?"

"I was always partial to Looney Tunes as a kid, Heiny." Helen responded in the same language over the PA. "Yes, I can hear you in there. And we'll be talking face to face very soon."

Down in the office, Heinrich Dietz looked around nervously, shining his flashlight for any sign of cameras or microphones in the room. Did she have the room wired or... or was she that near?

"TRY to take me, you fucking thief!" Dietz shouted back at nothing he could see. "FACE ME, DAMMIT!!" Now he looked in the shadows not for cameras, but for her.

"Now, now, patience, Heiny." Helen answered. Mander covered his mouth to snicker at Dietz's new nickname. "You haven't even finished your list of demands, remember? Who knows; we might even give you one of them if it's amusing enough."

"Here's a demand!" He shouted in English. "Go fuck yourself!"

"Now you're getting it, Heiny!" Helen answered gleefully. "Nah, don't bother working on the list anymore. I just wanted to laugh at it, and you're providing plenty already. See, if you'd learned about our country before you came, you'd have heard about me. Heard stories of how I'm supposed to be a witch or a demon; some kind of monster. A sadistic, evil bitch whom none dares oppose because I'll kill them with my magic."

She pulled the pin on the grenade.

"The truth is, I'm something a thousand times worse. I'm like The One Ring; I've destroyed everyone who's ever thought they could take me on but there's always some idiot who thinks 'Those others just weren't man enough, unlike me. I'm the guy who's gonna pull it off!' I'm at least on a par with your typical monkey's paw as far as body count, and people still say they want to fuck me and kill me in the same breath. They don't understand how everyone who crosses me pays the price. They pay it completely; horribly!"

She motioned for Mander to get ready to move and rose to her knees and elbows.

"And with not just a little bit of theatre!"

Helen gave the grenade an underhanded toss at the skylight. She and Mander rolled away as gunfire raked the concrete ceiling in the rough area of their previous position and the grenade continued It's arc down the hole, dropping onto the pile of dummies below. With a pop, the smoke that had been trailing in from the first grenade on the roof grew to a thick fog in moments, filling the skylight and billowing into the night air.

The two of them scampered to a safe position as ACME 2's part of the plan went into effect.

* * *

[Ramesh_Rocky]

In the room, Heinrich Dietz heard the men shooting on the warehouse's main floor. He checked that the corridor was clear, then hurried toward them, Sturmgewehr at the ready.

A grenade had been dropped down the hole and was now filling the warehouse with blue smoke. Dietz pulled up his shirt and tried to cover his nose. If she was gassing them out, he had nothing to defend against it. That none of the other men were reacting other than firing bursts at the open hole in the roof told him it probably wasn't the case. He abandoned his attempt at an improvised gas mask.

"It's just smoke." He told them, speaking lower now, in case she could still hear. "Keep watching the entrances."

Visibility shrank as the cloud filled the room. When the gunshots died away, he thought he could hear a faint humming in the air. Then, in the fog, he saw it; a man-sized shape coming toward him. He backed away, aiming the rifle at it.

"Stay away!" He commanded in English. The shape ignored him and continued its silent movement in his direction. "Stay back!"

Through the swirling smoke, the shape took on definition as it grew closer. Dietz saw now that its arms were raised over its head. A figure in black glided toward him; one he recognized immediately from the menacing walk, the baleful state of Bela Lugosi, and the fangs protruding from its lips. The creature whose name now hung on his own lips.

"Dracula?" He asked before squeezing the trigger and firing a burst at him. The bullets went sailing through the vampire and he continued advancing. Dietz weighed the odds of vampires really existing and Dracula looking just like he did in the old movies with the odds that if they were real, this witch might very well have Dracula's number. Heinrich fired again and noticed that the other men were shooting at similar shapes advancing on their positions with the same lack of effect.

The Nazis began falling back toward the hall. Dietz heard the humming noise again as the monsters grouped together and he could now see all of them. The Wolfman, Frankenstein's Monster, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon formed a mob and started toward them. At seeing the four of them together, Dietz's credulity was stretched to it's limit and he figured out what was happening.

He fired again, not at the monsters, but at the buzzing noises he heard in the smoke around them. Smoke that was slowly starting to trail back up to the skylight and out into the night air. Something exploded and Frankenstein's Monster vanished.

"Holograms!" He shouted to them, shooting another flying drone, causing the Wolfman to disappear. The others took his lead and fired until two more were hit and the onslaught of movie monsters stopped. Dietz walked over to the wreckage and looked at the shattered holographic projection drone with fragments of tiny lasers, mirrors, camera lenses, and motor parts around it. "She's using blue smoke and mirrors! Fucking literally! Reload and get back to your posts!"

Dietz returned to the room to check his own ammo. Whatever the thief's next trick was, he wasn't going to come out and fall for it.

* * *

On the roof, Helen heard him shout about smoke and mirrors and gave Mander a look that said "Hey, he figured it out!"

"Ok, yeah." Mander agreed. "That were amusing. They gotta be low on bullets now. They didn't pack for camping, they packed for a blitz-out; having to shoot their way through a random harbor patrol stop at most."

They got up and walked toward the edge of the roof that they'd ziplined onto. Mander secured a rappelling line and tossed it down into the alley where the entrance to the rear corridor faced.

"One last bit of fuckery to be sure." Helen told him, checking the line. She got on the headset again before taking hold of the rope and making her way to the ground. "ACME 3, hit it!"

From behind La Policia's barricades, employees of San Finzione Studios' Animatronics Department activated the remote unit they'd brought with them and went to work.

Inside the warehouse, the dummies who'd landed on their backs suddenly shot bolt upright. Others that hadn't landed correctly seemed to double over or spring up from the ground in odd, contorted ways. Their gun arms raised and the Nazis opened fire. More holes in the dummies joined those that had been shot into them on their way into the warehouse. They fired at the moving decoys until their guns clicked on dry chambers.

Their guns at the ready, Mander kicked in the door. Helen came in low, her gun seeking out the Nazi guarding the corridor. The goon spun at the noise and scrambled to reload his weapon. Helen fired twice, sending him to the ground. Mander rushed down the corridor, approaching the doorway that he knew Dietz was watching with the Sturmgewehr. He tucked into a ball and rolled past the open doorway. Dietz had the weapon aimed too high and fired a burst toward the rolling blur, missing him. Helen flattened against the doorframe.

"Oh, Heiny!" She called, and immediately backed away from her position as Dietz put holes in the wall.

"You're not taking me, you fucking cunt!" He shouted, emptying his magazine into the doorway. Now that she had her opening, Helen stepped into the doorway and saw him dressed in the Nazi costume she expected he'd be wearing.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"Don't..." Helen began to say, when, to her surprise, Dietz hurled the empty rifle at her. Helen ducked back into the corridor and the weapon clattered on the opposite wall. Now that he'd thrown away his weapon, she stepped into the room, ready to give her command, and pointed her Ruger at him.

Heinrich Dietz leaned against an old, rotted desk, staring defiantly at Helen. His lips curled into a smile and bloody foam trailed from his mouth. Helen thought she smelled bitter almonds.

"Don't move!" She commanded. Dietz tried to obey, but his legs didn't listen and he dropped to his knees. His smile became a bloody grin and she realized that in the second he'd given himself by hurling the gun, Dietz had taken his cyanide.

On the main warehouse floor, Mander shot one of the two remaining Nazis and walked toward the other. The last Nazi tossed his empty MP-40 aside, drew the pistol with the really neat swastika he'd seen at Scott's house, pulled the trigger, and screamed as a French resistance worker blew up his hand from eighty years in the past. Mander made certain he didn't suffer long.

"Beat you..." Dietz chuckled out in German, his throat tearing from the glass shards he'd swallowed after breaking the capsule in his teeth. He collapsed to the ground in front of Helen. Before the room faded, Heinrich was able to finish his sentence.

"I beat you, you fucking thief!" He laughed as he passed out.

* * *

Helen dropped to her knees and set her purse on the floor. She pulled the jacket off of Dietz's body and ripped off his shirt.

She reached into her purse and pulled out the black case that the Minster of Science had sent her after their telephone conversation yesterday when she and Mander had been driving to Eliot's apartment. When she'd asked a question that the conversation with Mander had made her think to ask.

"Is there an antidote for cyanide?" She'd asked Dr. Rocco. He told her that, in fact, there was. That, although unconsciousness occurred within seconds, it took several minutes to die. Usually faster than medical attention could reach the victim unless the right drugs were already prepared and ready to administer in time. She then asked what those drugs were and if he could prepare a kit of them for her. Helen opened the case, took out a syringe of thiopentone sodium labeled "1," and gave him an injection.

"Move in!" She told the radio, breaking open the amyl nitrite capsule the minister had marked "2" and shoving it under Dietz's nose, covering his mouth so he'd be forced to breathe it in. "Medics to the back room!" She produced the syringe containing the mixture of sodium nitrite and sodium thiosulfate labeled "3," gave Dietz the shot, and stood back for the EMTs who were now entering the room.

Outside, Ultimados and SWAT team members began to fill the warehouse, taking note of the work that Mander had already done for them with the last two Nazis. A path was cleared for Generalissimo Hernando Ramirez and Detective Inspector Luc Tomas Allaine of Interpol. They made their way to the corridor, where Helen was outside the room, leaning against the wall, and smoking while they brought in oxygen to resuscitate Dietz. She held out two unlit ones for them as they approached. Dietz could be heard sputtering back to life in the room.

"Congratulations!" She told them. "It's a Nazi!"

They took them and followed her in. Dietz regained consciousness in time to see her leaning over him.

"Oh, Heinrich! Did you really think death was going to be any escape from me? We'll talk at the hospital. You'll be there a while, by the way. Dr. Rocco said there might still be considerable..."

Despite the anticonvulsant that had been in the first injection, Dietz gazed in terror at this woman who'd even thwarted his plans to DIE! He started to seize. The EMTs restrained him as a stretcher was brought in and he started moaning through a throat lacerated with the fragments of broken glass he'd swallowed. Helen stepped back and let Luc step into Dietz's view before he lost consciousness again.

"Nerve damage." Helen finished, stepping out of the room again. Luc took her place, looking at Dietz as the medics stopped the seizure.

"I understand that this might be a bad time, Herr Dietz." Luc told him. Dietz could only glare back hatefully in response. "But you are under arrest."

* * *