Fantasy Whatever Gets You through the Night by TMaskedWriter

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"Passes?" The man with the clipboard said in a bored voice without looking up from the clipboard. Good One froze. Passes? Scott had been able to get passes for the tank crew, but he was dead now. Nobody was supposed to question five men in Nazi costumes with guns walking onto the set of a war movie. Behind him, one of the men nudged the other. Good One turned and saw that La Policia cars were silently pulling into the parking lot behind them. It wasn't the time or place for the guns yet. He pretended to flounder for a pass with one hand while drawing his knife with the other. It looked like the man with the clipboard was going to be first...

A loud doorbell sound buzzed from inside. Good One and the others didn't know what it meant, but the man with the clipboard did. It was the final call for everyone to come to the set. It wasn't worth his getting fired for being the one to hold everything up just because these dumbasses left the badges they'd be taking off in a minute anyway in the car.

"You know what?" He told them. "Go on, just go in." He scooted the sawhorse back to let them through. Good One put his dagger back, thanked him, and they entered the building.

Once they reached the tourists' entrance, the man with the C-4 took one of the charges they'd brought with them and placed it behind a drinking fountain before entering the physical cavern. They had a second that they'd plant right before getting to the shooting location that would seal them and the crew onto the set.

Then they would make the term "shooting location" more literal than the crew had intended.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Whatever Gets You through the Night Pt. 18


"Shelley and Keats were out in the street.

And even Lord Byron was headed for Greece.

While back at the Hilton, last but not least,

Milton was holding his sides.

Saying 'Bravos'd better be ready to fight

if we're gonna make it out of East Texas tonight.

For the trail is long, and the river is wide,

and my ride's here.'"

-Warren Zevon, "My Ride's Here"

*

Reminder: If you have an issue with a writer putting personal politics that do not perfectly align with your own into their Mind Control-Based International Political Murder Mystery Action-Adventure Thriller, you're not really the sort of person I want reading my stuff anyway.

RealPresidentIMeanIt @NoReallyIAm -- 1hr

Hearing bad things happening in San Finzione! Very Bad Place! You won't find one of MY resorts in San Finzione!

That had been the President of the United States' initial gut-tweet about events in San Finzione for the past two days. Mander drove Bessie and Contessa Helena de San Finzione looked at her phone as the two talked along the way to their destination.

"I'm afraid it won't work." She told Mander. "It's gonna be one of those after-college toy commercial action cartoons. I won't really get to be 'La Fucking Contessa.' I'm pretty sure they're not going to let us call Mander Force's enemy globe-spanning terrorist organization out to conquer and/or destroy the world 'W.A.N.K.E.R.S.;' no matter what you make it stand for."

Mander thought on that.

"What about 'T.O.S.S.E.R.S.?'"

Helen thought on it.

"Might be able to slip that one past legal. No signal down there; I should reply before we go in."

As they pulled into the parking lot of the San Finzione Caverns' Visitors' Center and Entrance in the old yellow-and-black Edwardian roadster, Helen replied to the First Twitter Page.

Contessa Helena de San Finzione @CFinzione -1 s

I just came up with the slogan for our next tourism campaign: "You won't find one of HIS 'resorts' in San Finzione."

"Ok," she told Mander, getting out and grabbing her black Prada Arcade bag. "That should buy us a couple of hours while someone explains whether or not I'm insulting him and to come up with his 'Oh YEAH???' retort. He's not used to fighting people who swing back; won't know what to make of it. Notice how there was no press about my little stop-in at the White House on our way out of the country?"

"You ain't worried he's gonna try ta nuke you like you're a hurricane or something?"

Helen laughed as they approached the man with the clipboard, who recognized La Contessa and let the owner of the studio and her bodyguard pass.

"Someone will talk him out of it like always. Oh, I'm sure he'll try some 'I call upon all Loyal Americans' shit. No, I'm a crowned... well, tiara-ed monarch, Vincenzo's crown is in the vault, La Contessa gets a tiara. But no, I'm the one who gets to CALL UPON The People for stuff. Pipe. Bowl, Fiddlers Three, the Death of an Enemy of San Finzione; all that. He's supposed to be an elected official but with all the shit America puts up with from him, you wouldn't notice. HE gets to ask nicely for things and maybe we'll see. Let him call me 'unfair' like everything else. That's what every bully who's been told he's no longer allowed to bully always calls it: unfair persecution to him. He won't do anything that his boss on the other end of the Red Phone doesn't tell him to, and Don Nessuno's meal will be an appetizer for what I'll make HIM eat."

"So, like yesterday? Only rednecks who'd burn shoes they spent good money on to make some kind of dumbfuck statement are gonna listen? I know they don't like being called that, but let's face it, if you're burning your own damn shoes, yer neck AIN'T a lovely shade of Turquoise!"

They made their way into the stone passage of the caverns proper, past the wood and sheetrock of the entrance. It had been expanded to both display local artisans' work and widen it for tourist traffic. Because the center was closed until filming was done, their footsteps' echoes carried down the long halls. The recordings didn't play that explained to tourists how, before being restored to their natural beauty, these caverns had been the sole source of San Finzione's long-defunct emerald-mining industry. How the mine was depleted, and no further emerald deposits had been found anywhere under the land since, but their place in history as the Royal Color of San Finzione and the jewels of La Contessa's Tiara would last forever! The speech was then followed by a disclaimer from the Ministry of Science assuring tourists that thorough geological surveys have confirmed that no further emerald deposits exist in San Finzione and that anyone offering to sell maps to lost emerald mines is attempting to defraud them.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"And quite frankly, won't be missed." Helen answered, needing to fill the silence. Being her, she came after hours sometimes as well, and they had the generators and more than just emergency lighting running for the next morning's business. Having someone with her made it less unsettling. "We get enough of that kind of tourism every time SNFZ plays a home game."

"True." Mander replied as they got to the area where safety notices and yellow caution tape became the décor theme. "Your Countessness calms those down quick too. San Finzione's becoming the home of Mass Hysteria and The Bystander Effect."

Helen silently acknowledged that she was the reason for that. Sometimes she needed to use The Thing in public for emergencies like persuading a brewing calcio riot that they should all relax and go home before something stupid happens or trying and failing to stop a charging suicidal assassin, but stopping the witnesses from helping her. "The Bystander Effect" and "Mass Hysteria" were the government and media's official explanation for her persuasive skills and other phenomena related to the legends about La Contessa, which both sources emphatically denied were true. Psychologists came to San Finzione to study the phenomenon. Their conclusions ranged from wildly incorrect to scarily accurate but still easily explained away privately by La Contessa.

Another recording, telling that these caverns were where the Resistance kept then young Lord Vincenzo I hidden from the Gestapo and SS searching the countryside for him, failed to play. It also failed to let tourists know that a small cinema room up ahead had been made where, for three euros more, they can watch a short documentary about the battle in the caverns that was being re-enacted up ahead. It had been made in the early 1960s and had interview and archival footage of a Vincenzo of that time. Helen had watched it often for that reason. She had her own copy in her study.

About the time they got too far underground for La Contessa's tracker to transmit through meters of solid rock above them was when they heard the quick paces of multiple feet approaching down the corridor from behind them.

* * *

Capitan Gregorio Ortega briskly walked to his Command Center at La Squadra de Ultimados Headquarters at Fort Ernesto. He'd been away from his post for secure meetings two days in a row, and it was too long for him to be away. He couldn't run or the sight of it would have made everyone think there was an emergency.

In addition to the current crisis, commanding La Familia Royale's elite personal guard, and providing discrete protective surveillance for the occupants of a house in Washington State; Capitan Ortega had ongoing Ultimados ops around the world to coordinate and oversee. Like Howard Caldwell-Pierce at the Ministry of Intelligence, he simply had too many other vital duties to take an active role in the hunt for Dietz. La Contessa had plenty of help; there were Ultimados out in the field who needed his attention more.

"Anything new?" Ortega asked the room as he walked in. It was the first thing he said every time he entered the Command Center. An aide stood from the console she'd been monitoring.

"Sir," she reported. "Contessa Helena's tracker went offline at the Cavern Visitors' Center three minutes ago. She was last heading underground to the film set; this is to be expected. Nothing unusual on Contessa-In-Reggenza Maria's. The Royal Twins are safe with their doctor. He reports them in excellent health. Generalissimo Ramirez also left a message to tell you that..." She hesitated before saying the name. "Santori's... man in the Quartermaster's office has been found. The Generalissimo says that he was 'A near-pensioner. He surrendered with much less of a struggle than the last one.'"

Ortega nodded and she returned to her monitor. All were the sort of things he'd want to know right away.

He sat at his desk and blinked a few times. One of the additional benefits of Ultimados training, ever since Helen had made them her guards, was that she used her ability to control minds to supplement the regular training regimen; setting them apart from other countries' Special Forces. Part of it was that Ultimados gained more rest from less sleep than other soldiers, allowing them to push their limits farther. For health reasons, it was still recommended that an Ultimado get a full night's sleep when possible. Other benefits of that training were that their loyalty and devotion to San Finzione and La Familia Royale were immutable facts and that torturing a captured Ultimado was an exercise in futility.

La Contessa casually strolled away from a crime scene on Sunday. Contessa-In-Reggenza Maria was attacked yesterday. Today, Contessa Helena insisted that a proper security detail; even a covert one, would hinder the activities in which she and Mander needed to engage and he'd been forced to modify her normal security measures. Word of Marco Santori had reached the Command Center and he could see Ultimados silently nodding approval. Ortega was going to need to book that full night's sleep soon.

He was seldom away from work. He had a home on base but slept more often on the cot behind his desk. He was thinking of the cot now after almost three days of consciousness.

"Give me a moment." He told the room as he reached into his desk for the metal lid of a paint can which he kept here so that he could employ a trick that Julie Equals had taught him. She'd said that it was something Picasso would do when he was nodding off at the canvas but wanted to stay awake and keep painting. The others had seen him do this before and went about their work. A few now kept metal lids at their own desks for this purpose after seeing it work for him.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Ortega grabbed hold of the lid, slumped back in his chair, rested his arm on the armrest, and bent his elbow so that he was holding the lid up to his chest. Then he closed his eyes and relaxed. He allowed himself to drift off.

As he did so, his arm began to gradually do the same and start drooping. He didn't fight it, but didn't do anything to help it along as, over the course of a couple of minutes, it relaxed until it lay on the armrest. Once his arm began to relax, his grip on the metal lid did the same until it slipped from his fingers, clattered to the ground, and startled him conscious. The moment's rest followed by the quick jolt back to wakefulness wasn't as good as a real stimulant, but it was enough to keep Picasso going a bit longer. Add Ultimados training and Ortega could pace himself and get an hour or two's alertness out of it. He'd just put the lid away when his phone rang with a call from Prefect LeGrasse.

"Ortega." He answered. He could hear on the other end that the Prefect was in his car and the sirens were going. He leaned forward and put his elbows on the desk. "What is happening, Prefect?"

"I'm on my way to the caverns." He replied, wasting no time. "What kind of security do you have on La Contessa?"

Ortega rose to his feet, seeing that he wouldn't have time for another paint lid nap.

"Per her orders, so that she and Senor Mander can operate with a free hand, she has been under sniper watch only."

LeGrasse thought on that for a moment.

"Would the snipers follow her underground? To the film set? Where they're shooting a battle scene? With period guns?"

Ortega saw his point.

"No! Sending more!"

He hung up and started barking orders.

"Bring up a map of the Caverns! I want ten units on the scene, surrounding La Contessa immediately! See if there's anything we can do to recover her signal! Has someone at least tried reaching her by phone?"

An aide got off the phone.

"Just now, sir. Straight to voicemail."

He thought a second on that. If she'd been too far underground for her tracker to transmit, a call getting through was unlikely but had to be tried. He walked over to a large wall-mounted monitor where a map of the San Finzione Caverns was now being displayed. Ortega studied the map as he began to slowly pace back and forth in front of it. His mind flashed back to his recent conversation with her about Olof Palme.

"And someone get me some fucking caffeine!"

* * *

Helen and Mander continued walking as the boots of Good One and the others drew closer. Occasionally, she would glance into reflective surfaces she spotted along the way to see who was behind her. On any other day, five Nazis with guns would be a bigger concern. The director had rung the bell for last call to the set, so it made sense that they'd be hurrying. But wouldn't extras know better than to wander that far? It was a period piece, so smoking was permitted on the set and during shooting. They wouldn't have had to go clear back outside for one.

Good One and the others ran past. If she'd turned her head, he might have seen Helen's face, recognized her in the poor lighting from Dietz's computer, and realized he could have solved all his problems and possibly not undertake the suicide mission he was leading by simply killing her. She and Mander continued strolling casually as she noticed him noticing a thing.

"So, this Juliessa Skankeko..." Mander asked quietly, pronouncing it correctly, arm drifting down to his side. "That's you, innit?"

"Mm-hmm." Helen mm-hmmed, casually reaching into her purse.

"So, it's all about telling the Count's REAL story, right? Historically accurate and such?"

"What Vincenzo would've wanted."

Mander causally unsnapped his holster.

"Nothing in it about Nazis going through time and bringing back guns that didn't exist before 1954?"

"I'd remember putting that in." Helen replied, producing her LC9.

"Right."

Mander drew his Desert Eagle and shot the one carrying the Uzi in the back.

The gunshot resounded against the walls of the cave and the amplified all around them. Thanks to her experience with the tank yesterday and the knowledge that she and Mander were going to go onto a movie set where blanks would be fired in stone passages smaller than this one, the two of them had already been wearing earplugs.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Good One had not factored the deafening, dizzying noise into his own planning. He and the others had been caught off guard both by it and their comrade's sternum suddenly exploding out of his chest from a 50-caliber round square in the back. His ears painfully popped, and he spun dazedly around, squeezing the trigger and letting out a spray of .32 fire across the rock ceiling. The raining-down of roof bits told Helen and Mander that their guns certainly were not loaded with blanks. Mander shoved Helen into the carved-out Cinema entranceway and joined her, flattening against it for cover.

"Don't move!" Helen tried to shout a command to the Nazis. When it didn't work, she tried "Achtung! Halt!" It didn't matter whether they understood English or German, she couldn't make herself heard over the covering fire being sprayed toward their position and their now rupturing eardrums. The Nazis couldn't hit them until they moved in closer, but a ricochet or a flying chip of stone might mean that they didn't have to. Helen ducked into the swinging door of the theater and Mander followed.

From the other direction, Larry Compton's Policia detail responded to the shots.

"ARRESTO!" One of them shouted. Good One's response, now that he could hear the call from behind, was to turn around and open fire on them. One of the officers took several rounds to the chest and fell over. His partner fired blindly, dragging him back to cover. Good One motioned for another to help him deal with them while their two remaining teammates pursued La Contessa and Mander into the theater.

The small cinema carved out of natural rock was darker than the hall they'd been in and was only slightly bigger than La Contessa's private one back at the castle. Because it was closed, floor lighting was off, and the emergency exit sign over the fire door back into the entrance hall provided the only illumination. They ran down into the four rows of movie seats that had been installed. She was small enough to crouch down behind them and be concealed. Mander was too big to do so and would get partial cover from the seats, but they'd spot him instantly and the plastic and cloth wouldn't protect them from automatic weapons. While their eyes were still adjusting to the change in ambient light, Mander saw Helen's cue to move down one aisle and take cover.

The Nazis entered, light still coming in from the swinging door, and spotted Mander's hiding place. They advanced on him, not realizing that at this range, their bullets would go straight through his cover and kill him.

While they went for Mander's bait, Helen used the opportunity to sneak behind them. When they were almost upon him, she popped up and shot the rear of the two in the back twice. He staggered back into his comrade, giving Mander the opportunity to give the other a double-tap to the chest as well. He fell over dead and his companion fell onto his body. Thinking they were taken care of, Helen and Mander ran back toward the entrance, now hearing the shootout between La Policia and the other two in the main hall. Good One and the other had fallen back closer to the entrance when Helen and Mander emerged.

* * *

Mander had been using a much higher caliber bullet than Helen's 9mm. His shots to the torso had done enough damage to kill outright. Helen's two to the back gave him a few moments to see his dead friend and feel his own end closing in. He reached into his pocket. He was bleeding out too much for his cyanide to matter. But there was one last thing that he could do; he could trap the fucking cunt who killed him down here with his fucking corpse. He produced the remote for the detonators on the C-4.

With the last of his strength, before collapsing onto the corpse of the other Nazi, he squeezed the trigger.

* * *

A helicopter containing Generalissimo Hernando Ramirez and Detective Inspector Luc Allaine was approaching the parking lot of the San Finzione Caverns. They'd found the old man who'd supplied the ammo quickly enough, and he surrendered without a fight. The MPs had just taken him into custody when the call came from Ortega about the brewing situation and helicopter had been their fastest option to get to the scene.

Because they were closed for the movie, only the crew, La Contessa, and La Policia's vehicles were in the parking lot and they had plenty of room to land. They saw Prefect LeGrasse leading SWAT troops into the cavern and listened in on the radio.

"Shots fired!" They heard coming from it, followed by the sound of men marching double-time. The two of them drew their guns. They'd land away from the action too late to join them, but it seemed the prudent thing to do. Ramirez pointed out the Ultimados who'd been tracking La Contessa through sniper rifles closing in on the scene as well. Sirens on the two small urban APCs carrying more Ultimados were starting to grow audible under the helicopter's blades and engines.

"More of Ortega's men will be here within two minutes." Ramirez told Luc as the pilot descended.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"And LeGrasse has the director's security detail to assist them. How many cops do they have down there already?"

"I'm not certain." He reached for the radio to ask LeGrasse when the sound of an explosion came over it. Parts of the Visitors' Center went flying as a fireball erupted through the roof where the wooden structure met rock, causing both to come tumbling into the hole that had just been made. The wooden building began to catch fire quickly.

Ramirez looked over at a monitor to see if La Contessa's tracker could be detected. A signal booster had already been brought to the scene to try and reach anyone to warn in the caverns below. It had been ineffective. He grabbed the radio.

"Martin! What happened?" Hernando demanded, knowing that the Nazis had C-4 but not expecting it to be used just now. The pilot touched down.

The radio did not respond.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Whatever Gets You through the Night Pt. 19

"Oh, gather round me and listen while I speak

of a war where Hell is six feet deep.

And all along the shore, where the cannons still roar,

they're haunting my dreams. They're still there when I sleep!

He saw crosses grow on Anzio,

where no soldiers sleep and where Hell's six feet deep.

That death does wait, there's no debate.

He charged and attacked!

He went to Hell and back!"

-Sabaton, "To Hell And Back"

*

Prefect of security officer Martin LeGrasse led his men through the Visitors' Center to the entrance that led underground into the San Finzione Caverns, where the wood and sheetrock turned to the natural stone and began gradually sloping into the depths of the Earth. The resounding roar of a 50-caliber Desert Eagle followed by automatic weapons fire made them double-time it toward the entrance.

As they neared the sound of gunfire, a water sprinkler flew from the wall it was against and into the air, through wood and sheetrock, to land in the parking lot. This was followed by a rush of hot air that knocked them all off their feet. That, in turn, was followed by debris being hurled at them by a growing fireball, and only then did the terrible explosion assail their ears with its noise.

A few moments of shock passed before LeGrasse looked up at his men. They'd all been in body armor and knocked to the ground by the shockwave like him, but it hadn't been enough to stop all of the debris and he had frightened, injured men trying to drag themselves away while pointing their guns in terror at what might come down the hall next. He motioned for them to fall back, expecting a follow-up trick coming. When LeGrasse found himself unable to stand was when he motioned for someone to come drag him back. He aimed his gun down the hallway to cover the officer who came to retrieve him. He could now make out Ramirez's voice calling for him on the radio, but he couldn't afford to take his attention away from what might come at them next to answer.

What came was more rumbling. The noise of rock walls and naturally forming supports being weakened by an explosion giving way. The stone that they had supported for hundreds of thousands of years, no longer having their support, succumbed to gravity and came crashing down, filling the entrance with natural rock rubble and manmade debris. Calcio ball-sized stones were now filling the space where LeGrasse had been laying helpless before being pulled out.

As the ones who were stable on their feet went out to get assistance for the others, LeGrasse got on the radio and answered the Generalissimo.

"Officers down!" He shouted back into the radio. "There's been an explosion. The entrance has collapsed" He told them, unaware that they'd just arrived and were witnessing the scene from outside. "My men need medical attention. We have not located La Contessa. Repeat, no visual on La Contessa."

He paused before keying the mic again, surveying the smoke and rubble.

"She's down there, Hernando. With the film crew! And THEM!"

* * *

Contessa Helena de San Finzione and Mander emerged from the theater. Good One and the other survivor to this point were still shooting it out with Larry Compton's Policia escort. When they changed magazines, La Policia gunned down his companion, leaving only Good One left. He looked to the theater entrance alcove that Helen and Mander had just emerged from and headed their way.

Mander felt the heat and saw the darkened cavern growing brighter. He shoved Helen back into the theater as Good One approached, turning his MP-40 to them. Mander was too busy following Helen back in and diving behind seats for cover to see the fireball engulf Good One.

Helen and Mander covered their ears. The earplugs wouldn't have been enough to protect them from the booming noise now reverberating against the rock walls, causing debris to fall and crash onto seats around them. They were safe from the shockwave and blast in here.

The explosion had knocked the half-burned by the fireball, half-broken from impact with solid rock corpse of Good One through the theater doors with them. They looked at him and the other two bodies in the room with them. They pondered the dead Nazis for a moment. Then Mander spoke.

"Ok, I got this one and the one with the Uzi, you got the one on top of him. I think the cops get the one out in the hall. Who gets credit for him?"

Helen thought for a moment.

"It was their bomb, so ultimately, we have to give him to Dietz. So, that puts me at four and you're at two. The three in the tank are mine; Maria doesn't want any kills to her credit. So, I'll respect that and claim them for her."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Mander nodded. Then turned back to the situation at hand. Through the now shattered smoked-glass doors of the theater, they could see flashlight beams shining toward them. Mander looked out the door. He saw the beams coming from the end of the tunnel where La Policia had been fighting. Seeing that it was safe, he motioned for Helen to come out into the alcove.

"It's La Contessa!" She shouted. "If anyone can hear me after that, we took care of the others for you!"

"Si, Contessa!" A voice down the hall called. "La Policia! You're safe to come out."

"Tell me if you're lying!" Helen commanded.

"No!" The officer called back.

"Ok," she told Mander. "Used the Thing; Guy's not lying." She stepped into the illumination of their lights and the emergency lighting tracks along the bottoms of the walls. Bits of burning wreckage lit her from behind and she motioned for Mander to emerge. They made their way through the debris and over the Nazi corpses, Mander stopping to collect the Uzi and magazines off the body along the way.

"Any injuries?" The officer she'd been talking to asked as they picked their way through the new obstacle course in the once clear corridor.

"None here." She called back, close enough to no longer need to shout. "We saw one of you get hit..."

The officer interrupted.

"Si." He replied. "They got him with three rounds. Vest stopped the bullets from penetrating, but his ribs are broken. Some of the crew are reporting injuries from falling stones."

Helen looked behind the four officers and saw Larry Compton and the rest had left the set and come toward the noise, using their phones as flashlights. She put away her gun and turned off her own phone, with which she'd been doing the same.

"Save your batteries, whoever's low." She told the group. "Nobody's going to get a signal down here and we can't be sure how long we'll be; we may need that light later. I charged on the way here, so anyone else who's good, share your light with the others so they can save it." She looked over all the actors in costume, noting the ones whose costumes matched the ones they'd just killed. Some had been "killed" in the scene already and had bloody squib holes on their uniforms. Helen found a fallen boulder big and stable enough to stand on and did so, addressing the hall.

* * *

"Well," Helen said, clasping her hands and with her most Delighted-To-Meet-You smile once she stood on the boulder and had everyone's attention. "This WASN'T the on-set intro that I was hoping for. Some of you are meeting me for the first time, so let me begin by introducing myself. I'm Contessa Helena de San Finzione, ruler of the country that we're currently under. However, let me assure you that my rule also extends BELOW our lovely country that you'll be returning to soon; some for proper medical treatment. Although the entrance tunnel we all came through has collapsed, let me make it clear that our situation is only temporary. The authorities know you're down here and they know I'm down here with you. People are on the other side of that pileup and are figuring out how to get us out of here even now. And soon, because I vowed just this morning that you would all be safe, and no fucking Nazi is going to make me break it. Therefore, if you all listen to me, we can all get out of here. And since I don't need a Corporal Hicks freaking everyone out or a 'who's in charge' debate, you WILL all stay calm and do what I say."

The command got through to everyone except Mander, whom she didn't have to address it towards, so she didn't.

"Now, first priorities: Tell me if you're working with Dietz." When everyone said no, she told them to forget and moved on. The small crowd was easy enough for her to control. "OK. We just killed five REAL Nazis before they killed all of you. There may be more than one group. If there are, their guns ALSO won't be loaded with blanks." She pointed to a Policia officer and a group of extras carrying MP-40s, the same sub-machine gun that the Nazis, except the one packing the Uzi, had been using.

"Give your guns to the officers." She addressed the cop. "Check the bodies for ammo. They were planning a massacre; they'd have brought enough bullets to be sure everyone got their share. We have six pistols and the Uzi Mander picked up for defense. You've been watching the actors handle guns all morning; if you think anyone can handle the real deal, more armed defenders would be better. Get them out of those uniforms, too. If there's more, they'll probably also be dressed as Nazis. We need to be able to tell who's who."

They went to carry out their orders. She turned back to the actors.

"There are other entrances to these caverns besides the tourists' entrance, but none close by. That explosion wasn't big enough to reach them. They're locked for safety reasons, but they're not sealed. Rescue workers will be getting them open as a Plan B to reach us. It'll take them a while, but they're on their way. The nearest one I know of is too far away to try to lead all these people to with nothing but flashlights and my memory to guide us. The lines that bring power down here were crushed. For obvious reasons, we power things down here with electricity, so there were no gas lines to rupture. Oxygen isn't a concern. Once the cops get back and we're well-protected, you can get everyone back to the set. That's where they'll come looking for everyone and I imagine you've got generators and lighting set up. This was a battle scene, if there wasn't a doctor on set, you've got a first aid person. Anyone else with some training, find that person and help them triage."

The others took in her words. Establishing that it was safe, Helen pulled a cigarette from her undamaged case and lit it before continuing. As they moved, she looked around the group some more.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"Anyone from Craft Services?" A couple hands raised. "This is your moment! They'll get to us. We won't be here for days, but we should prepare for the possibility of at LEAST being here overnight." She turned to the crowd. "I'll approve the overtime for all this, everyone!"

They all cheered that. She turned back to the Craft Services people.

"So, we're gonna need to pool everything we can find to keep everyone fed and watered that long. That includes any food we CAN get our hands on. There's a couple vending machines down here; break 'em open, take everything. Say I did it, I'll back you up; nobody'll care. That brings me to another thought. They wouldn't have let you all film down here while closed without leaving at least one employee to show everyone around. Does anyone actually work here at the Caverns?" Two hands raised. "Ok, I'm guessing main power came to us here via the cables along the entrance that are now smashed. But we've got emergency lighting, which means there's some kind of backup down here. We'll need that online. Also, work with the Craft Services people. We sell concessions to the tourists. Open up those supplies, get the popcorn machine running, whatever. Every employees only area has first aid kits, get them to the people who can use them."

Helen turned back to the larger group.

"Ok, who's our doctor or first aid person?" A woman raised her hand. Helen pointed at her and commanded the group again. "Whoever brought drugs, give them to her. I AM the Government; nobody'll get in trouble."

She turned to La Policia.

"Cops, no drug laws today." They acknowledged it and she turned back to the group. "She might be able to put them to good use. Medical use only. For now. We can talk about getting high once everyone's ok. Hell, later I might want a little something to get through this, myself. For now, though, give her a little pharmacy to work with. Everyone else, help out the others. Once we're defended, supplied, and the injured seen to, we can all head back to the set and see if anybody... brought some D&D stuff or something to occupy everyone while we wait for them to reach us."

The ones that had drugs made their way to the doctor. With everyone going to carry out her instructions, Helen stepped off the boulder, sat on a smaller one, and took a deep drag. She closed her eyes and envisioned what might have happened if Mander hadn't spotted the weapon.

They'd have taken down Compton and La Policia's detail first. Plenty of gunfire happening already; who'd notice a little more behind the scenes? With La Policia's guns out of the equation, one or two would stay behind the cameras to get the rest of the backstage crew while the others killed their way into it and started shooting actors. Once they were on a roll, she and Mander may or may not have survived the firefight behind the scenes. A few actors would have gone down right away before anyone noticed "that guy wasn't supposed to die in the script." In their panic, they'd uselessly try firing their blanks back at the Nazis. They'd just make themselves bigger targets. A couple might've died heroes trying to disarm them or they might be overpowered, but the damage would be done.

THEN what was their plan? They'd be sealed in with all the corpses of their victims; or, if the crew got lucky, their captors. Ramirez and the rest of her people were on the other side, doing whatever they could to clear the entrance; they'd get out sooner or later. But the Nazis would have been stuck here, surrounded by the evidence of their crimes. They wouldn't have known where the other entrances were and would've gotten lost or killed looking for them. Life in prison would be the best they could hope for...

With another drag, she mumbled the rest of the thought.

"Unless they took the cyanide they probably have in their pockets... POCKETS!" She jumped up. Mander approached her and they started walking back toward the dead Nazis.

"Your Countessness seems to have everything under control here. Fact, you're surprisingly calm."

"Maybe because, for once, I wasn't bullshitting. They really ARE on the other side of that thing, trying to get to us. And thinking just now, there MIGHT be something we can do on our end." She readied her phone light and gestured toward where La Policia were collecting magazines. "I wanna check their pockets. I expect they've all got suicide pills, but that bomb wasn't on a timer. And if any of them really knew explosives, they'd have put it further down the tunnel and collapsed a lot more. If it was a timed device, they'd have given themselves another couple minutes to get clear. Us being here was an anomaly that forced their hand; otherwise, they had all the time in the world to set it off, cut off all escape, and begin the slaughter. It was when they started losing that it detonated. That means that one of them triggered it manually. I want a look at that switch!"

[Ramesh_Rocky]

They walked toward the men looting bodies and helped search the pockets of dead Nazis. When she found nothing but cyanide and some random personal items to examine in more detail later, they went into the theater to check the other three. A few inches away from the hand of the one she'd killed was the remote trigger. She picked it up and studied it in the light.

"Homemade... guessing Scott's work." She took a puff of her cigarette while she thought some more, then carefully set it down. "Dual-stage trigger and only one's been pressed." She dropped to her knees on the hard stone and began trying to remove the corpse's backpack. Mander came and helped, waiting for more answers. "They brought two bombs. Probably planned to blow both ends of the main hall. One of them has the switch, so he's probably got the other bomb, too."

She pulled it out of his pack. Three one-kilogram sticks of C-4 were bundled together. A detonator stuck in the middle like a leaning birthday candle waiting to be ignited." Helen carefully set it on the ground.

"You know how to defuse that?" Mander asked?

"I've got a pretty good idea..." Helen said, setting down her cigarette and wiping her forehead. Her lip trembled a little.

Suddenly, without warning, she grabbed the detonator and pulled it out of the charge. Mander jumped back as she made sure none was stuck to it before putting it next to the switch and picking her cigarette back up. She turned to him with a smile.

"What? It's a remote detonator and I have the remote. It wasn't armed."

Mander didn't usually get exasperated at Helen but almost did so.

"You knew that thing was safe the whole time?"

"Remember when I said how the people who know how to find and deal with bombs were out looking for them? I might've left someone off that list."

Helen rose to her feet and removed the packaging from the explosive that they hadn't even bothered removing while she continued.

"Or do you not recall that Propappou spent most of the 20th century safely handling grenades, dynamite, and other explosives? First in The Great War, then for a living. He told me stories of jobs he'd done across America and Alaska and I listened. A man who'd dealt with cave-ins much bigger than this one. He never lost a man on his crews who did what he told them to; never so much as a finger himself. The cops never busted Papa Emay for his home fireworks on the 4th of July because they were too busy enjoying the better show he'd put on than the City's. The videos he shot of his work were badass! Troy burned them to disc for me, we can watch when we're outta here."

"So, in addition to everything else, Her Countessness knows all about bombs, too?"

"Not ALL about them." Helen replied, starting to squeeze the plastique in her hands. "He retired before we met, so he never took me along on a job or let me and Troy play with his old gear. But I paid attention to enough stories to learn a couple things."

She continued to work the C-4 as she searched for some light to work by.

"I learned at least enough to figure out that a shaped charge in the right spot is our best chance of blasting ourselves free again. Then it's a matter of getting a message to the outside so we don't blow up Ramirez and Ortega trying to sledgehammer their way through to us."

At that moment, a woman who hadn't been there before stepped out from behind Mander. She wore a white cleanroom bodysuit that clung to her curves with a blue stripe down the middle. Her head was also covered by the suit and her face obscured by giant blue goggles. The object she held in her hands looked like some strange fusion of a shovel and a bicycle pump. She lifted up the goggles and smiled. Helen laughed. Mander looked confused.

"What?" He asked. "You figure out how we're gonna get word to them?"

"Yeah," Helen said, still laughing. "And she just showed up. Hey, Dig Dug."

"Hey, Helen." Suzy-Q replied from inside the Dig Dug costume. "Did we tell you that there's now a TV at the Equals house that's always kept on and tuned to San Finzione news? It was Julie's idea. She says hi and 'that Fucking Cunt's gonna need you.'"

Since Mander learned about Helen's strange connection to Susan through Suzy-Q before, he didn't hear the response, but was unsurprised and knew who Helen was speaking to.

"Oi, Suzy-Q." Mander said, knowing he wouldn't hear her reply. Because it was within Helen's perception, though, Suzy-Q heard him.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"Oi, Mander." Suzy-Q told Helen, who relayed it. "Well, I'm here to help, and I think we've just figured out how I can best do that."

* * *

At Castle Finzione, Contessa-In-Reggenza Maria was seeing to some of the daily affairs of running the country that her great-grandmother had been too embroiled in the current crisis to take care of the past few days.

An Ultimado ran up to her as she was signing papers at her desk and gave her the news of the situation at the Caverns. She experienced a moment's terror before her heart lifted at the sight of the name "Susan Bailey" on her phone.

Having heard back from Suzy-Q, Susan relayed her and Helen's conversation to Maria and that her next call was to the Generalissimo. Maria thanked her and waited for her heart to calm down before making a decision. When it did, she'd made it.

"I must address the nation." She told Nunzio. He went to go make it happen as Maria returned to her wardrobe to pick out something for television.

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Whatever Gets You through the Night Pt. 20

"She only sleeps on planes.
She's tired of going nowhere.
She's in Yugoslavia,
working on a mini-series.

Suzie Lightning,
I built a world for her.
Suzie Lightning,
I need a girl from Earth."

-Warren Zevon, "Suzie Lightning

*

Contessa-In-Reggenza Maria Louisa Francesca de San Finzione sat at her desk in La Contessa's office as the camera crew set up. She remained still while the lighting people made their adjustments.

It was a skill which Princesses needed to acquire early on for times like these. The ability to hold still for extended periods while makeup and camera people worked to put you, literally, in the best light possible. Moments when, even if you have nothing to add to the discussion, the Princess STILL must draw every eye and camera in the room.

Maria absolutely had things to say. Hence addressing the nation. They finished their job and she watched the monitor of the live feed of State Channel 2, the English Channel, upon which her address would be broadcast; while waiting for the lights above it to turn green, indicating that she was on the air. Demographics had shown that native English-speakers tended to be those most in need of reassurance. So, although Italian was Maria's native language, it was most efficient for her to address the nation in English and let the other Channels translate it for the rest of The People. One of the main complaints of American tourists was that they sometimes had to press "2" for English in San Finzione.

The show in progress was some daytime soap opera she'd heard friends enjoyed, but she was too busy to watch much television. If she felt like a night at home, she'd catch "È Divertente Solo Se Conosci L'Italiano," but not much else. She heard them talk about the show often enough to guess which actor was which character and imagined a couple of her friends would be calling later; upset about having it interrupted like she was about to do. She'd buy them a drink and remind them that Great-Grandmama had been in a cave-in and she had to tell the nation SOMETHING!

Maria was unworried about her, though, thanks to an earlier call from Susan Bailey. Great-Grandmama's plan was crazy, but thanks to Suzy-Q, Maria knew she was relatively safe. Not only was Maria aware of the truth about Helen and her friends' power and her weird connection with Susan, they'd all agreed that Maria was the next person worthy of teaching their ability. Helen was concerned about piling too much onto Maria with her also learning to handle the burdens of rulership for the day she was no longer simply In-Reggenza and wanted to give her a couple of years to live as normal a life as someone like Maria could first.

Someone for whom every television, radio, and official live news feed in San Finzione was interrupted. Those watching video media saw the screen fill with the flag of the Sovereign County and Independent Nation-State of San Finzione. It was followed by an instrumental version of "Glory to San Finzione," over which, an announcer informed viewers and listeners that programming was being interrupted for an important address from Contessa-In-Reggenza Maria. He explained that they'd now be going live to her office at Castle Finzione. After those words, the three green lights came on, telling Maria that she was now being heard and seen on all media. She looked into the camera.

"People of San Finzione." She told it. "I know that this is not the first time today that circumstances have caused your government to interrupt your busy lives. So, I will update you about the news bulletin you saw earlier and let you return to them. I also have something to ask of you; but first, the details.

"Half an hour ago, there was an explosion and fire at the San Finzione Caverns. There is a movie currently being made chronicling an important event in San Finzione's history. A scene in the caverns was being filmed today. This explosion was not a result of filming and the main entrance tunnel has collapsed. In addition to the film crew below, our own Contessa Helena was visiting the set and is with them. She is reported unharmed and there have been injuries amongst the crew, but they are safe. Medics are on standby as workers break through the obstruction. We cannot say how long it will take to retrieve them, but we expect it soon."

Maria sat back in her chair, her arms opening and coming to rest on the chair arms. A gesture meant to convey the honesty she was about to give them.

"It would be easy for me to lie to you. To tell you that this WAS simply an error in filming caused by special effects misused underground. That there was nothing nefarious involved, that accidents like this happen all the time, and that you should go about enjoying this lovely sunny San Finzione day and resume normal programming without concern. The time when such things were an option is past. It is time to level with you all."

A mugshot of Heinrich Dietz filled the screen.

"This man's name is Heinrich Dietz. He is a terrorist; with known ties to Nazi hate groups, and he is a ruthless killer, preferring to target those whom the Nazis regarded as enemies. San Finzione has always proudly claimed membership on that list. Whatever his motives, he has committed murder twice in our country. They tried to kill more this day. Therefore, I formally declare Heinrich Dietz and those working with him Enemies of San Finzione."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Dietz's picture shrunk until it lurked in the bottom-left eighth of the screen. Mugshots of the surviving members of his crew that La Policia had been able to ID from fingerprints and surveillance videos followed like a slideshow. A number of the men pictured were already dead on the other side of the cave-in, but Maria didn't have that information yet.

"These others are members of the terrorist cell and his Conspiracy Against the Monarchy. This means that they, too, have murdered two of Our People. You may have seen on the news that they tried to kill me yesterday. And many more today if Contessa Helena's and La Policia's security details hadn't been present. Some of the men in these photos may have been caught in the earlier incident. We will not know which until we can reach and identify them."

Maria leaned forward and placed both elbows back on the desk.

"I tell you these truths because my great-grandpapa, forever does he reign in our hearts, would want me to do so. He and the nation once faced a similar threat. The movie currently being made will tell this story. For whatever purpose, this is the film that they have repeatedly attacked."

Maria changed her tone to that of a collegeteacher about to give a lesson.

"General Werner Schell had more soldiers and machines than Dietz. Enough to nearly wipe out our army, leaving only a scattered handful to form the Resistance and the original Squadra de Ultimados. He took everything he could from our people in the name of his Fuhrer. The same hate that spurred Schell on drives Dietz as well. Schell murdered our ancestors and stole from our people until the only thing he had left to steal was our future; our young Count. Our People fought to keep that one last thing FROM him! For two months, he stayed hidden, on the move; because our country is not a large one and they were hunting him. There were few places they could hide him and not much time before Schell found them all. Great-Grandpapa eventually took everything back. Though, if he were with us today, he would prefer that I say that THE PEOPLE took everything back and he simply said words that inspired them to do all the work that he could not. In truth, he possessed more than words."

Maria looked to him in the Heavens before looking directly into the camera again.

"THEY took it all back. Because HE possessed a Sword! He understood that he was too young to wield it properly, so he trusted La Squadra to carry it for his defense. And when it came time for the Sword to attack, it did what it has always done: It did not fail San Finzione!"

She relaxed back in her chair for the next part of her address.

"Many swords hang upon the walls of Castle Finzione. Swords that now sleep in victory. Swords that met a litany of peoples who, because of their work, are no longer our enemies. Swords that stood against invaders and won. Then they were carried home to rest until they needed to be called upon again. Some have done terrible things; some have done glorious things. All are on display for the world to see; with plaques telling their stories. What that sword did for San Finzione and whether it should be remembered with pride or shame; but remembered, nonetheless. Simply out of growing up in their home, I have read their histories and can tell you all of them.

"I am aware that not all familia are fortunate enough to have swords. When a warrior who did great deeds dies, the sword is buried with him if he has no familia to hand it down to because it is part of his legacy. And selling or giving one's legacy away is unthinkable! His children then carry the sword and pass it along to their own. Perhaps they add to its legend, perhaps they simply display it as we have done. Should I ever require one of THOSE swords, I can ask a guard and he will bring it to me. But there is ONE sword that La Familia Royale have always asked to come of its own accord. And I DO so on this day!

"Every one of you knows the Sword of which I speak. And you know where it may be found because THIS sword is the one which San Finzione PROUDLY displays for ALL the world to see each day! And each day since the last that it was called upon, the Sword has slept in victory!

"The Sword is needed once more. Enemies have, once again, come to TAKE from San Finzione! We will not allow this! Heinrich Dietz can hide from La Policia. He can hide from Interpol. He can hide from the Army! He can hide from La Squadra! He can even hide from Great-Grandmama!"

She stood and leaned against the desk, looking firmly into the center of the camera's eye.

"As Nazis learned once, and must be reminded again, there is NOWHERE to hide from The Sword of San Finzione! Do not approach or attempt to apprehend these men. They are armed, they are dangerous. And now they are desperate! Because they are watching as well, and now they know that The Sword is rising against them. They will have no qualms about killing innocents to remain at large. They are likely to commit suicide rather than allow themselves to be captured. We WANT them alive if possible! You may have seen them coming or going or you may have provided them accommodations. All that we are concerned with now is that they be found immediately. Notify the authorities at one of the numbers that will be appearing on the screen in a moment. San Finzione wants Dietz and his terrorists alive. We want YOU alive more!"

Maria sat down and leaned forward in her chair again, telephone numbers now crawling across the screen below her.

"Policia and Interpol tip lines are being displayed on the bottom of the screen and will run regularly throughout today's programming; along with updated information on this band of Nazis who believe that they are free once more to TAKE from San Finzione!"

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"For me, for you, for San Finzione; show them that time has proven them to be as wrong now as they were then. Thank you."

The numbers displayed on the screen as the green lights turned off, telling Maria that she was clear. She removed her microphone and returned to her work, glancing at the office telephone on her desk.

As she expected, although they were not listed in the announcement, lines to the castle were also lighting up.

* * *

"Perhaps that WAS the Contessa they should have killed!" Heinrich Dietz said, hurling the remote through the TV screen this time. The last remaining men jumped.

"I am fucked." He said, getting up from his seat. "You are all fucked as well, but this is of less consequence to ME! In Charge of These Last Two Idiots!" He called, shouting Dumbkopf's new name and promotion.

He ran up to him. Less of a spring in his step, now that he was seeing that perhaps Dietz wasn't the brilliant criminal genius he'd been led to believe on white power forums. He'd begun to question it around the fourth or fifth other member of the team Dietz casually sacrificed.

"Yes, sir?" He replied. There was less fear in it after seeing his plans fail repeatedly. Who was Dietz going to shoot him to impress now? The last two guys he didn't like or dislike enough to give names?

"You had one more hiding place, you said. One very close to the extraction point?"

"Yes, sir. Is it time to relocate?"

Dietz started to get upset, but realized he was running out of people to blame for his problems and needed to hold back for a moment.

"Like before, ANYTHING those men could have taken with them could lead her back here. A matchbook or item from a nearby shop. She's clever, dammit! She'll find this place!"

In Charge, as he now thought of himself, didn't bother pointing out that Dietz had stopped saying "they" were looking for him and started saying "she" was some time yesterday.

"We're doing what I should have done the first time all of you screwed up! I'm calling the mission a failure and getting out while I'm still alive! I'll refund my fee and then either become even more of a fugitive or take my cyanide. Given the Client, likely the second. Perhaps I'll return to this shithole one day and put bullets in those women like I should have done before we started!"

He picked up the Sturmgewehr and took the last uniform off the rack.

"Arm yourselves. Take whatever weapons and ammo you can. We don't have the time to sterilize the scene." He reached into the duffel bag that carried the last of the C-4. "So, we'll destroy it instead. Be in the van in three minutes." The Sturmgewehr went into the bag with it. He then grabbed the laptop he'd been using.

In Charge saluted. Dietz half-heartedly returned it. In his mind, he was already offering them up to the Client as scapegoats. He went to wait for them in the van and debate whether or not to wait the full three minutes for them to gather what they could or just blow them up and drive away now. He remembered that he still needed In Charge to take him to the last hiding place and decided against it.

* * *

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Generalissimo Hernando Ramirez and Detective Inspector Luc Allaine entered the mobile command post that La Policia had set up in the parking lot outside the San Finzione Caverns. Pompiere were getting the blaze from the explosion under control. A medical station had also been set up to treat Policia Prefect LeGrasse and the SWAT team he'd been leading down below when the bomb went off. They were also preparing for survivors in need of attention once they broke through the obstruction.

The Prefect's hip had been shattered by flying debris in the explosion. He'd need a replacement before he'd be able to stand and walk on his own again. Other members of the team were wounded by flying rubble, but the shockwave knocking them to the ground had saved them from the worst of the fireball. Only the men up front like him had been burned through their armor.

Because the bomb had not been placed by a professional for optimal effect, but rather, stuck behind a drinking fountain to keep anyone from noticing it for a few minutes before being unable to ignore it; the damage hadn't been as bad as it could have been. Engineers from the Ministry of Science had been rushed to the scene and concluded that there couldn't be more than five meters of fallen rocks between La Contessa and themselves. Drilling equipment was being brought in and set up to go in after them when Ramirez's phone rang. He looked at the name on the phone.

Luc noticed the relief on his face and inquired.

"Something good?"

Ramirez nodded and answered.

"Buenos Dias, Senorita Bailey." He said with relief as he walked out of the command post for privacy. When he was alone, he continued. "I'm guessing you've been in contact with La Contessa."

"Hi, Generalissimo." Susan Bailey replied on the other end. "Yeah, I had to call Maria first, naturally, then you. Helen's ok, she and Mander spotted them before they were ready to hit the set. She's got injured down there, but everyone's safe. Well, safe-ish. Helen's got an idea. It's a bit nuts, but, you know, it's her."

Though Susan wasn't present, Ramirez nodded. He also knew about her connection with La Contessa and how Susan could get information from her on the other side of the obstruction.

"What is she planning." He asked after a moment.

Susan had to take a deep breath before responding.

"Ok, before I tell you, you know how it's impossible to get her to change her mind about a really important decision? She says that it's more important to not lose time on the hunt for Dietz than keep reassuring everyone that you'll break through that thing any minute. She has..." Susan searched for the right phrase. "A WAY to take action, so that's what she's going to do."

"Mm-hmm." Ramirez mm-hmmed his agreement.

"Well, it looks like the Nazis had some C-4 left over down there; four sticks. And you know how she regards a man who spent his life working in demolitions as her real father, so she listened to all his stories about work? Well, I'm supposed to tell you to get everyone clear, then Suzy-Q's supposed to get back to her, and once she knows everyone's safe on your side..."

Ramirez figured out the rest. He stepped back into the command post.

"Tell the Pompiere to pull back! Everyone needs to clear the building!" He ordered them. "The Nazis had a second bomb. La Contessa plans to use it to blast free!"

People ran to carry out his instructions. The Acting Prefect who was now in charge of La Policia on the scene turned to him with a look of shock.

"How are you getting this..."

The Acting Prefect hadn't worked with La Contessa often. Ramirez and others who had done so answered in unison.

"Classified State Secret of San Finzione." All of them said before going back to their tasks.

Luc thought on this a moment.

"I spoke to the engineers working on the problem. Their consensus would seem to agree: if they could warn those on the other side, blasting would be the easiest way. It would seem that the problem of making sure it's clear is now on our end."

Ramirez agreed and spoke into the phone.

"We're doing it." He told Susan. "Give us ten minutes to get everyone out and pull the vehicles back."

Susan told him that she'd send word and ended the call. Ramirez looked in his pocket for a cigarette. Not finding one, he borrowed one from Luc.

"This is fucking insane!" The Deputy Prefect tried to tell them. "She'll just make it worse!"

"You don't know La Contessa personally, do you, Prefect?" Ramirez asked him.

When he shook his head no, Hernando lit the cigarette and continued.

"Coming up with insane solutions is a thing that she does. The problem is," He took another drag. "They tend to work."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Whatever Gets You through the Night Pt. 21

"From the depths of Hell in silence,
cast their spells, explosive violence.
Russian night-time flight perfected,
flawless vision, undetected."

-Sabaton, "Night Witches"

*

The DM took out some pre-gens.

"Ok," he said. "Who wants the rogue?"

Contessa Helena de San Finzione and Nigel Mander's hands both shot up. Mander saw and asked if there was something with "a big 'fuck off' sword" in there for him instead. D&D had turned out to be more popular in the film industry than Helen had imagined, and other similar groups were meeting in taverns around them gathered on the stone floor of the set.

Helen suppressed a laugh when Suzy-Q emerged from behind a natural column on her knees, dressed as Dungeon Master from the old "Dungeons & Dragons" cartoon. She said that Mander could have the rogue and excused herself from the group.

Helen searched for someplace private where they could speak. They began walking back toward the entrance.

"How're things going?" Suzy-Q asked, getting up from her knees now that the joke had been made.

"We're just choosing characters, but someone had a cool idea. There's one big dungeon, all our crews are gonna hit it from different approaches at the same time. Then, as we encounter each other, figure out if we're gonna kill the other guys or team up against the rest and split the treasure or what. But I'm expecting that since you're here, I'm clear to get us all out now. Maybe I'll hold a little mini-con at the castle sometime, because I like the idea. Or come back when they fix everything and have it here. A REAL underground gaming convention!"

Suzy-Q nodded. Susan was enough of a geek for her to know what a multi-party dungeon raid was like.

"Well, Susan would prefer if you stayed in the game and waited for them to come for you, but she also knows better than to try and stop you. She gave the word. Ramirez said to give them ten minutes to get the other side clear."

Helen walked to the edge of the set lighting and motioned for Mander to come join her.

"Everyone but Mander," she commanded them. "Concentrate on the game until someone comes for you. Won't be long now." The others accepted the command and continued their games of D&D or chess or whatever someone had brought with them. The two of them started making their way back toward the pileup.

"Suzy-Q's back, then?" Mander asked. "Everything's a go outside?"

"They will be by the time we're ready to blast." Helen replied. A little chuckle followed. "You know, in politics, when they say someone got 'blasted,' it just means someone else in politics was talking shit about them. Then they say that person 'took fire.' And if they reply, they 'fired back.' Trying to make it sound cool doesn't impress anyone."

"And here, Your Countessness is the only one who literally goes out and does it."

Helen and Suzy-Q both laughed at that. Because Suzy-Q was in Helen's head, she was keeping pace with them while standing still. It gave Helen's perceptions the dreamlike quality of running in place because although she was still moving forward, Suzy-Q never changed position unless she moved closer or further from Helen. Rubble and debris passed through Suzy-Q as she remained in place in Helen's line of sight.

When they reached the pile that stood between them and freedom, Helen gave everything a final inspection, then they started walking back down the hall.

"That previous explosion must've been right at the entrance. We were safe in the theater, but a homemade directional charge isn't perfect, we're gonna get a bigger explosion on our end. Since we don't have any safety equipment, we probably want to pull clear back to the set. Means we won't get to see it, dammit!"

`Mander nodded. Like Ramirez, he'd had plenty of experience seeing Helen's crazy plans work.

"I remember hearing guys saying stuff about how Igazi had some kinda magic that made him immune to bullets. After that warehouse in Seattle, you pull this off, and I'll believe you can't be killed by fire."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

"You've been with me both times." Helen said, giving the charge one last look-over before turning to retreat down the hall. "Maybe you're the one who's immune and I'm just benefiting from it."

"I ain't that lucky." Mander replied. "You knew we'd get out of here soon. Why make all those people break open the vending machines and give up their drugs and stuff for nothing?"

"The drug part wasn't nothing, there really are injured who could use something for pain. The rest? Well, yeah, it was a morale thing. Make them feel like they're doing something proactive, they'll know that more must be getting done outside, and even without doing The Thing, they've got something better to do than panic about being trapped down here."

"Well, if you're ready," Suzy-Q told Helen. "I guess I'll get back and tell Susan to call Ramirez and say, 'fire in the hole.' You do what Susan would want you to do."

"Don't die." They said together. Suzy-Q vanished.

The two of them returned to the set. Helen checked her phone. Still no signal, but the clock told her that twelve minutes had passed in their walk to the cave-in and back.

"Everyone cover your ears!" She commanded them all. "We should be safe back here, but it's going to be even louder than before. Doing the old 'duck and cover' might not be a bad idea."

When everyone agreed, Helen gave Ramirez another minute to get everyone clear outside.

"You're waiting to come up with something cool to say before pressing the trigger, aren't ya?" Mander asked.

"Was thinking about it." Helen replied. "Then I thought I'd just do what Propappou would."

With that, she began humming "The 1812 Overture." When Helen got to the part where the cannon comes in, she squeezed the trigger.

* * *

Generalissimo Ramirez and Luc watched the smoking ruins of the Visitors' Center from behind a shielding pane of two-inch thick transparent Lexan at the edge of the parking lot. Rescue workers and Ultimados waited with them; ready to move in as soon as La Pompiere said it was safe. They'd gotten the blaze from the first bomb under control when word came to fall back and get ready for a second.

Susan called Ramirez back and told him that La Contessa was ready on her end. He reasoned that she was giving them some extra time to get clear.

About when he began to wonder if she was going to do it or not was when rocks began exploding out of the giant hole that the first had blown out of the building. La Pompiere moved in to put out the new blaze. Rescue workers followed in oxygen masks and jumpsuits. Once the second fire, smaller now that there was less to burn, was out, Ramirez and Luc joined them inside.

Flashlights sprang to life and pierced the cloud of dust and smoke that they were passing through. There were still stones and boulders to be navigated around, but the way to the set had now been blown clear.

They proceeded down the bombed-out hall, following the map to where the film crew were shooting. It was there that La Contessa, Mander, and what appeared to be a small Dungeons & Dragons convention were waiting. Adventuring parties sat in groups and dice clattered on the bare stone floor. In one area, a group of injured people lay sleeping or dazedly listening to someone reading them a book they'd brought to the set. Everyone had snacks and drinks, as if the vending machines had been broken open and they'd helped themselves. La Contessa held a Coca-Cola in one hand and a cigarette in the other as she approached them.

"Two whole hours, Hernando?" Helen asked sarcastically upon seeing him. "We've already had time to reject the ways of the Above-Grounders and the Then-Then and start a new society down here in the Now-Now. I'm still Contessa, though, we agreed on that."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Ramirez's answer was to simply nod from behind his oxygen mask, where she couldn't see him smile. He produced another for La Contessa. Luc did the same for Mander.

"We should get you checked out." He said from inside the mask. La Contessa appeared to be unharmed, but a group of paramedics ran to check them while the rest turned their attention to the more-visibly injured.

"I don't know why I bother with doctors." Mander commented as the two of them were looked over. "I can just come hang out with Your Countessness and get checked out any time I want."

"They're a bit better about wanting to keep me alive since the Jimenez thing." Helen answered.

Mander knew the true story about Frank Morgan and the assassination attempt, but since they were in public, Helen stuck to the official cover story of "La Contessa was attacked by a crazed stalker and anti-science nut named Carlos Jimenez; who also tried to blow up the Ministry of Science" rather than the truth.

When the dust settled, La Policia followed the rescue workers onto the set. Helen was told about the Prefect's injuries and was introduced to the Acting Prefect.

"I'll have some questions, Contessa..." He started to say, before Ramirez stopped him.

"When La Contessa is ready to make a statement," Ramirez told the man. "She will summon an officer to the castle to take it. Presently, she has more important matters of state that require her immediate attention."

The Prefect nodded and went to go see to the wounded officers. Helen gestured her thanks to Ramirez.

"We got five of them." She told him as she led her group to the exit. "Including Bad Red Rug. It took me a while to recognize him without the rug and being all burned and smashed up. I forgot about the one Mander killed yesterday, which brings us to 4-3."

Ramirez accepted La Contessa's way of telling him she was fine. The medics confirmed this. With Luc and Mander, the four of them walked back to the entrance. Helen and Mander both put on their sunglasses for stepping back into the light of day. Because they'd parked by a side entrance, Bessie had survived the wait in the parking lot untouched. Helen's phone rattled noisily against the gun in her purse as all the missed calls and messages came through at once. She'd call Maria and Susan from the car, then recognized a few numbers as belonging to members of San Finzione's criminal element who heard about Marco, understood who THEIR Contessa was as well, and probably had something to tell her about Dietz.

Hernando's phone rang and he answered. It was La Policia calling to tell him that there'd been a second explosion. When he told them that he was at the Caverns and had seen it, the caller corrected him and told him about the one that had just happened on the other side of the City.

* * *

San Finzione's criminals had information for the country's biggest criminal. Through the rumors, hearsay, and obvious bullshit, Helen was able to filter a few useful details.

Dietz and his crew were getting around in white panel vans. Descriptions pieced together that one of the men who'd been pictured during Maria's broadcast had been spotted around the City the week before Eliot's murder, inquiring about short-term accommodations with no questions asked.

The People had been calling the tip lines with information as well. A salesman from a used car lot remembered the men who'd paid cash for two white vans. Helen and Mander agreed that when Dietz had more men, they probably needed two. Now that they only needed one, they'd likely abandon the other like the rental car. This gave them plate numbers for La Policia to begin searching for.

The wreckage of one of them had been found at the scene of the other bomb that had gone off about ten minutes after Helen's. The site had been a boarded-up storefront that the owner had put up for rent. A conversation with his son revealed that "a guy who said his band needed to crash somewhere for the weekend" paid him three-hundred euros to borrow a key for the week.

"There's a red flag right there." Mander pointed out as they discussed it. "A band that's got enough to drop three-hundred on a crash pad's got enough for a fuckin' motel."

"Like you mentioned yesterday, the scenario 'group of struggling artists go in on a place and lay down sleeping bags' isn't an implausible one these days. Struggling musicians is a good enough lie to fool a landlord's son who's interested in making a quick 300 he doesn't have to tell dad about if everyone plays it cool and doesn't... well, blow the place up."

She gave her cigarette a drag as she thought some more on that.

"Booby-trapping the motel room and the trash were calculated moves. Blowing up your hideout when you hastily leave is an act of panic. That means they saw Maria's broadcast and The Sword's got them running scared."

Mander nodded agreement as they returned to the castle to get cleaned up. It was decided that being in two explosions was enough for La Contessa to put The People through for one day, and Luc and Ramirez could take care of things at the other bomb scene while Helen made herself presentable again.

"That's why you did it, isn't it? Not getting us buried alive; I'd like to think you'd have consulted me on that one first." Helen confirmed this. "But you planned for her to do that while we were out on the hunt?"

"I didn't tell her to do it. I thought she might when I brought up doing Right Things and Wrong Things, though. WE can do stuff like beat info out of scum and go shooting Nazis. MARIA can do stuff like call upon The Sword of San Finzione and have it come to her immediately! If I'd tried the same thing, The People would probably do It for me too, but there'd be ass-dragging. That's a power that Vincenzo's True Heir possesses that his widow doesn't: When I say 'Everybody loves Maria,' that's backed by detailed statistical and demographic data."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

They pulled into the Autorimessa. Mander got out and opened the door for Helen.

"You're right about blowing it all up." He said. "He's hopefully used up all the C-4 now. If he used four sticks like he did for the one bomb with the other two, that's fourteen gone by my count. It also means it's his last trick before scarpering."

"It looks like it's up to The Sword to find him for us now. We should probably get back to what we were doing before: Figuring out what the hell this is all about."

They walked back to her Study, where Eliot's computer had been returned and the photos sat around it, arranged like they'd been when she first found them in his apartment. She sat at it and pictured the apartment again. Helen closed her eyes. Mander watched quizzically.

"You and Susan ain't learned more psychic stuff ya haven't told me about?" He asked.

"Nothing like that; I'm visualizing, here. Trying to figure out what was in his head. He was at the computer, having his SpaghettiOs... and looking at the photos."

In her head, Helen reached for a bowl of SpaghettiOs and took a bite. She looked up at the Duel and Last Crusade posters she remembered, then back at a computer that, in her mind, had a screen filled with a big question mark. Then she remembered Luc's report of what Eliot had been looking up. Deciding that Indiana Jones action figures weren't the solution, she turned her head and remembered the other thing Eliot was looking at. She said again what she said the first time she saw the Close Encounters poster, but knew she was doing it this time.

"This... MEANS something! He was having lunch while he went over the photos and looked at the Wiesenthal Center's site." She opened her eyes and looked down at the headshots of the actors and the real people they'd been cast to portray. She went through the printout of his history as another thought was coming into her mind. She reached for the information from Scott's computer as well. "Whoever set Dietz up with Scott set things in motion a couple weeks back. Eliot's interest in the Wiesenthal Center started..." She flipped through the report. "Three days before his death."

Mander thought on what she was telling him as well.

"Then it's not connected. Not directly, if the plan to kill him started two weeks ago."

"True..." Helen mused. "It can't be a complete coincidence; there's too much to it." She looked at the shooting schedule Scott had sent to Dietz. Further digging had shown that he'd gotten others for the days leading up to his death.

Helen called for Nunzio, who brought her a cocoa and Mander a pint. They thought and drank for a moment while Nunzio waited to see if they needed anything else. Mander took a sip and shared his thoughts.

"Seems Dietz's fallen into the same trap others have when trying to cross Your Countessness. He made one really good try to stop ya, that didn't work, so he tried something bigger. And when that don't work either, he takes it to the next level."

"A cowboy hit." Nunzio muttered agreement. Then he remembered that in his training, he'd been warned against speaking above his station. Then he remembered that La Contessa had told him on the first day to ignore that shit and if he had something to tell her, to damn well tell her.

Mander wasn't familiar with the term. Helen was. She turned to Nunzio.

"There's an old person in your life who sat you down and watched old gangster movies with you too, isn't there?" She asked Nunzio. He nodded. She then turned to Mander. "A cowboy hit is a deliberately sloppy hit, like Dutch Schultz. Kill some bystanders, leave lots of witnesses, break shit, make it messy! You want this in the papers. You want it to go into the history books like The Valentine's Day Massacre!"

"I was here at the castle when the first two incidents occurred, Contessa." Nunzio continued "When you got the news about the director and when they attacked Lady Maria. And then, from what I've heard on the news today, they've only now attacked the production itself. The director was alone at home when he was killed, and the set was closed when they attacked her."

Mander caught where Nunzio was heading.

"So, hitting the set was Plan C. He tried to kill the director and that didn't stop ya. So, he tried to kill either Your Countessness or Her Princessness and that didn't stop either of ya. Apart from the staff here, that plan didn't involve any bystanders until they chased her into the streets. They didn't kill the guy with the clipboard today, but Allaine said that from his story, LeGrasse's good timing was the only thing that saved him. Targeting the film and killing actors was a last resort when it should've been the first. One or two people die making movies all the time and they keep going. If they'd succeeded today, you'd've had no choice."

Helen took it in and looked at the photos again. Then she looked at the shooting schedule.

"You're both right. When he killed Eliot, it was away from the set and everyone else. Filming was off the day they attacked Maria. And there's something else here. Something I'm seeing now."

She flipped through the schedule to be certain, then looked at the one for the day of Eliot's murder. The one for the day after simply said that shooting was on hold for mourning. And today's showed Compton's crew was set to film the Battle in the Caverns.

"There's another common thread: Who's NOT there! Who ISN'T in the scene! Vincenzo wasn't in the battle. La Resistance got him out before it started. It was between the Ultimados and Schell's SS troops. But neither of THEM were there! And the last two people on Eliot's mind were Gino Giovanni and Tad Chase, the guy playing Schell. I've got an idea, but I need to get cleaned up first. You probably should too, Mander. I want to show some respect where we're going."

She gathered up the pictures and turned to Nunzio. "Nunzio, go to the cellar and bring me a bottle of something good."

The page nodded and left. Helen went to the passage to her bedroom to go wash the dust out of her hair and get changed.

"We're going out again after all that?" Mander asked.


She stepped through to the passage and turned back to Mander.

"The answer to all of this is buried in history. We need to talk to someone who was there!"
"Yes." Helen replied, pressing the button. "I'm getting ideas about what this could be about, but I need to pay a visit to a special someone to be sure."

[Ramesh_Rocky]

Whatever Gets You through the Night Pt. 22


"It was just before dawn, one miserable morning in black '44,

when the forward commander was told to sit tight

when he asked that his men be withdrawn.

And the generals gave thanks as the other ranks

held back the enemy tanks

for a while.

And the Anzio bridgehead was held for the price

of a few hundred ordinary lives."

-Pink Floyd, "When The Tigers Broke Free

*

Detective Inspector Luc Tomas Allaine walked away from the Interpol team after giving them instructions for the crime scene. Generalissimo Hernando Ramirez watched him approach.

"They're working it now." Luc told him. "We need to stay on the scent. Dietz is running now. Escape is his goal. He couldn't go near an airport before and he knows you're watching the borders and stopping every vehicle and train. So, his exit plan can only be by sea."

"Si, the Navy is on this." Ramirez replied, walking toward his car. When they were a safe enough distance from the scene, he stopped Luc and offered him a cigarette before lighting one of his own.

Ramirez leaned in and lit Luc's. When Luc leaned in as well, Ramirez spoke in the sort of low tone he remembered The Count using with him those many years ago.

"You've been holding them back, Luc." He told his old friend. "Making them play cleanup."

Luc took in a drag as he took in the truth. Ramirez continued.

"Retrieving Dietz's box, interviewing people at home whom you never expected the mole to be amongst. Following up at the studio while we raided Scott's house. Now you've got them working a crime scene while we close in on Dietz. La Policia has people to do all of these things. You are keeping your people out of harm's way."

Luc held the truth in for a while, then exhaled his reply.

"I haven't gone to any lengths to hide that Dietz is personal for me. I've lost Sam over this; I'm worried about losing someone else, Oui. You think that's why I've been doing it?"

"No." Hernando replied. "I think it is something La Contessa told me earlier. You're not used to being listened to back in Lyon. She asked me why; I tried not to say too much, but you know how she thinks now. She put it together on her own." Luc nodded at that. "You're not in Lyon anymore. The office popularity contest hasn't followed you here. Yes, they're eager to please. Because they've heard of you. Not through gossip, through your record and the people you've put away! You're not used to being in charge of others. You are now; and they're expecting you to show them how it is done!"

Luc accepted Ramirez's words and waved Agent Fontaine over.

"Si, sir?" Fontaine asked.

"La Policia have things covered here. We need to start watching the sea. The Generalissimo can put you in contact with the Navy. Start working with them. Dietz is likely to wait until nightfall, then speed or row out to one of the ships anchored outside San Finzione waters. Any small craft should be stopped and searched. You and your people know what to look for, Fontaine."

Fontaine saluted his understanding. Luc returned it and Ramirez made a brief conference call with the Ammiraglio of the Navy to introduce him to Fontaine and get them working. The two left the agent and walked toward the Generalissimo's car.

"Dietz didn't cause me to lose Sam." Luc said. "That began long ago."

"You took the safe desk job in Lyon for him." Hernando stated as he opened the door. "These past couple days, I think I've seen you happier than you've been since."

"Happier, Oui." Luc agreed. "'Happy' won't come until I've got Dietz in custody."

"Then let's go see what our people can do together." Ramirez said as he closed the door.

* * *

RealPresidentIMeanIt @NoReallyIAm - - 2 hrs

Just found out an AMERICAN has been KILLED in San Finzione! Sent the State Department's TOP MAN to get answers. VERY bad country!

Contessa Helena de San Finzione @CFinzione - - 2 sec

You're just finding out NOW? We've been on this case for three days. Can your golf course not afford phones?

Brick Hardtack, Special Agent of the United States State Department frowned at those words as he stepped off the SST and landed in San Finzione. His superiors had sent him several hours before the President decided to take credit and alert the world. He'd read their dossier on Heinrich Dietz on the flight and was looking forward to tracking down his prey and getting out of this shithole country and back to a real one like America.

He saw the giant painting of their Countess greeting him as he left the terminal. She was hot, anyway. He'd seduce her and get the locals off his back so he could bring Dietz down HIS way! He'd read in the file that she was American. Probably missing that good old American charm. She'd be easy.