Please note, this is a very serious issue not some plot of a porn story.i almost committed suicide over this . I need an honest opinion. Please dint ask for my wife's pics or personal details . This could be long and tiring
So I had this porn addiction which she discovered right after marriage . This caused a huge issue in my sexual life as i was unable to satisfy her well.
She too lost interest in having sex with me and we tried to improve our marriage.
I told her how my childhood trauma due to abusive parents and bullying led to this , she started using this as a weapon.
She would treat me badly and whenever we had a fight she would pull this as a way to keep me quiet.
I've been abused by my parents to an extent where I lost all my self confidence and lived alone with no friends so I just continued.
She would constantly check my mobile because she is afraid that i might revert back to addiction and she would read all my personal messages and even read the teams messages of my colleagues.
The one thing that really bothers is that she would never show any interest if i suggest to do something but she would be ready if her family tells her .
The one thing that kept me alive during the abusive oerod of my parents were those story books and i always wanted to travel and exploring and eat new food.
But for her, weekends or vacation means going to her family and she will drag me along .
But she also forced me not to go anywhere. My colleagues invited me for a drink after work but she threw a big fit that she is struggling to maintain my child but I'm enjoying.
I had to cancel an office getaway because she threw a huge fight over it , she even foight when I had to go to Chennai for a business trip but I had no chance of cancelling.
Yes I turned to pornography, but I also had some other hobbies that kept me sane like watching EPL, reading books, trying new restaurant etc but she slowly but surely made me stop all these .
Now she got new friends and then only I understood something important .she wasn't close to her family but she just wants to enjoy with anyone who is not me .
Even going to mall, she would complain she is tired etc but she went on a 3 day trekking with her friends where she walked around 20 km .
Also she has this whole " feminist vibe" or something, if i tell her to do some household chores which is beyond what our maid or cook does, she sarcastically replies why she should do , why am I pushing it to her just because she is woman etc.
I just want to divorce but I'm afraid of my life post divorce and about my 2 children aged 7 and 3 .I don't want them to grow in a broken house and also I'm not sure if she might end up showing the anger towards me to my kids.
I always contemplate suicide because I'm alone , friendlee, unhappy family , bad in career etc but I dint know when I might .
Then I noticed something, she was very protective of her mobile . She would take it even to bathroom alsi while bathing. So one day i tried to open and i found that she had changed the passcode of the mobile without informing me. s
,Post the birth of second child, she slimmed down and started wearing modern clothes. Ive seen her oubic hair trimmer in bathroom many times even though we hardly have sex in the last one year
She had gone out with her friends ( both male and female) twice . First she went for a marriage but stayed in a resort a day before. Second time it was a company sponsored trekking . Im now thinking if she had cheated on me during those times. She didn't mention the word resort the first time and just told about the wedding. Second time she just mentioned company sponsored getaway for 3 days. But didn't tell they will be trekking and staying in tents at night. Now I'm confused if my wife cheated on me because she didn't completely divulged the information
I thought to use hacking but one night I couldn't control so I tried to access her phone while sleeping but she woke up and shouted for frighten her.
I asked her to open the phone immediately and she gave after hesitation.i sent to insta and she had chatted with a guy but she said he approached her and after he started using words like dear she stopped responding.
I apologise and went to sleep. Next day she went to office and i thought there was something wrong so when she came back I asked her to show her mobile once more. She refused but I said I won't budge ybtil she gives .
I saw that one boy was always next to her in all the photos so I checked his chats and i found everything I needed.
Here are some chats
Wife: And now I know you have crush on me.. so why to hurt your feelings by calling bro and all?
3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Guy: When u did u know?
3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Wife: Yeahhh I do. Why not. I usually care about feelings a lot.. I don't like to hurt anyone ?
3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Wife: You only told me once know then I got to know
3/21/24, 10:31 PM - Wife: Otherwise also the way you look at me only I can understand ?
3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Guy: Seriously I looked at you like that ??
3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Guy: Ohhh my ????
3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Wife: Yeahhh you do sometimes
3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Wife: Not recently .. but yes you do sometimes
3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Guy: Tell me last time when I saw?
3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: May be on women's day
3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: On lunch day you didn't see like that
3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: Yess ..
3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: Party time right?
3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Yes.
3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: U looking gorgeous ??
3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: Telling now ?
3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: You didn't tell on that day
3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Guy: I told... In single word
9/25/23, 11:12 PM - MC: Yes really this night really very good day and sweet dreams
9/25/23, 11:13 PM - Wife: Is it ? What special happened today ?
9/25/23, 11:13 PM - MC: Bcoz I saw one angel, I think she directly came from Indra lokha ?
9/25/23, 11:15 PM - MC: Every time she looking aged.. but today those words are all false
9/25/23, 11:15 PM - Wife: Ohhhh... don't dream about that girl Okay
9/25/23, 11:16 PM - MC: Y is not good ?
9/25/23, 11:16 PM - Wife: Hmmmm good question. I guess you can.
9/25/23, 11:17 PM - MC: So I can dream right?
9/25/23, 11:17 PM - Wife: Yeahhh y not... dreaming is your choice na. No one can steal it and no one can question it
9/25/23, 11:18 PM - Wife: She looked aged everytime is it ?
9/25/23, 11:19 PM - MC: Okay thanks ?... but here you have the right to ask question
9/25/23, 11:19 PM - Wife: Out of all dresses, Which outfit looked good tell me now.
9/25/23, 11:19 PM - Wife: I will not question you
?10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: U r the important to me naa ?
10/19/23, 9:42 PM - Wife: For me nothing special
10/19/23, 9:42 PM - Wife: Hahahaha.. am I?
10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: Okay will see tomorrow
10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: Haa u only
10/19/23, 9:43 PM - Wife: Don't fall for me MC ??
10/19/23, 9:43 PM - MC: Y u will fall for me naaa?
10/19/23, 9:44 PM - Wife: Hahahaha
10/19/23, 9:44 PM - Wife: We are good as friends only ?
10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: Hey hey I'm chatting casually Wife
10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: Don't mind
10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: We r frnds
10/19/23, 9:46 PM - MC: Don't overthinking yaaa
10/19/23, 9:46 PM - Wife: I knowwwww
10/19/23, 9:46 PM - Wife: No over thinking ok11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: Don't angry and don't think wrong abt me ?
11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: I feel some good(romantic) vibes when u r with me I mean close to with me <This message was edited>
11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: Touching ??
11/23/23, 4:17 PM - Wife: Hahaha.. yeah I feel good to have a friend like you MC..
11/23/23, 4:17 PM - Wife: ?
I confronted my wife with those whatsapp chats. It led to a huge fight where she was telling the following things to defend me and that colleague.-
He is young and she felt him like some kind of puppy love exhibited by a high school student towards his school teacher-
He has gfs and roams with multiple people so she doesnt think he was serious when he was flirting and giving compliments-
She always stopped him when he tried to go overboard -
They chat at the frequency of once a week not more.-
Most importantly, if she had feelings for him.their chats would have a different turn and she might have ended up in physical
For 2 hrs she defended this guy over me and i attempted suicide. So next day her sister came to mediate . I tild the following
Whenever he steps over the compliments, why she is not stern in warning him bt give simple statements ike ""u r young"," im married " etc-
Does the words he use constitute sexual harassment in corporate culture?-
Why has she discussed things with his about certain college crushes she never discussed with me?-
Why she has never explicitly denied whenever he gave her options to hang out-
Cheating happens step by step and she is currently in the 20th of the 100 steps maybe.
He just needs a place and time and maybe some alcohol to get that.-
Why should she defend him so much instead of admiting her mistakes
.I also pointed out these chats that he is already planning for next steps.Calling her for a midnight bike ride
10/27/23, 9:57 AM - Wife: In mid night and all... interesting
10/27/23, 9:58 AM - Wife: I'm feeling something more
10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: Wt u feeling more?
10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: Tell me
10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: So we can also go one day. Come to Priya home . I'll also come
10/27/23, 10:00 AM - Wife: I don't have that much luxury to roam around in midnight ?
10/27/23, 10:00 AM - Wife: Yeahh may be she likes you
10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: Yes As a frnd
10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: No we can plan
10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: We can meet Priyas home.. one day
10/27/23, 10:03 AM - Wife: Hmmm okay nice
10/27/23, 10:03 AM - Wife: Will see .Calling for a private party with alcohol
2/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: Yup. Women friends are best
2/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: Yeah
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: Yes
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: We also go for party
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: We 3
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: If u and my sis fine
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Yup will do
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: Drink dance ?
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Dance is must ???
2/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: We danced today too
2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: But place we have to find
2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: Secret place
2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: No one will disturb
2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: Ohhh nice yar
Here sis is another older married colleague he calls as sis who is Priya in previous conversation.
So her sisters also joined in and said his behavior doesnt seem alright but she said she didnt want to lose friendship over some of his stupid comments . They gave him a good scolding and she now has understood the gravity of the situation. She has promised not to chat with him anymore.
She also asked sorry for all the troubles she caused for 10 years and will try to change. I too promised to get therapy for ED and develop intimacy better.Now her sisters also know her emotional cheating.
So now we have a clean slate to start our relattionship when she wont bring my porn addiction and I wont bring her chatting.
Bit now i don't know if she had cheated me as well. I didn't find any evidence of trying to organise any meeting or any photos or videos of sexual nature . please clear my doubt ob what you think of this
So I had this porn addiction which she discovered right after marriage . This caused a huge issue in my sexual life as i was unable to satisfy her well.
She too lost interest in having sex with me and we tried to improve our marriage.
I told her how my childhood trauma due to abusive parents and bullying led to this , she started using this as a weapon.
She would treat me badly and whenever we had a fight she would pull this as a way to keep me quiet.
I've been abused by my parents to an extent where I lost all my self confidence and lived alone with no friends so I just continued.
She would constantly check my mobile because she is afraid that i might revert back to addiction and she would read all my personal messages and even read the teams messages of my colleagues.
The one thing that really bothers is that she would never show any interest if i suggest to do something but she would be ready if her family tells her .
The one thing that kept me alive during the abusive oerod of my parents were those story books and i always wanted to travel and exploring and eat new food.
But for her, weekends or vacation means going to her family and she will drag me along .
But she also forced me not to go anywhere. My colleagues invited me for a drink after work but she threw a big fit that she is struggling to maintain my child but I'm enjoying.
I had to cancel an office getaway because she threw a huge fight over it , she even foight when I had to go to Chennai for a business trip but I had no chance of cancelling.
Yes I turned to pornography, but I also had some other hobbies that kept me sane like watching EPL, reading books, trying new restaurant etc but she slowly but surely made me stop all these .
Now she got new friends and then only I understood something important .she wasn't close to her family but she just wants to enjoy with anyone who is not me .
Even going to mall, she would complain she is tired etc but she went on a 3 day trekking with her friends where she walked around 20 km .
Also she has this whole " feminist vibe" or something, if i tell her to do some household chores which is beyond what our maid or cook does, she sarcastically replies why she should do , why am I pushing it to her just because she is woman etc.
I just want to divorce but I'm afraid of my life post divorce and about my 2 children aged 7 and 3 .I don't want them to grow in a broken house and also I'm not sure if she might end up showing the anger towards me to my kids.
I always contemplate suicide because I'm alone , friendlee, unhappy family , bad in career etc but I dint know when I might .
Then I noticed something, she was very protective of her mobile . She would take it even to bathroom alsi while bathing. So one day i tried to open and i found that she had changed the passcode of the mobile without informing me. s
,Post the birth of second child, she slimmed down and started wearing modern clothes. Ive seen her oubic hair trimmer in bathroom many times even though we hardly have sex in the last one year
She had gone out with her friends ( both male and female) twice . First she went for a marriage but stayed in a resort a day before. Second time it was a company sponsored trekking . Im now thinking if she had cheated on me during those times. She didn't mention the word resort the first time and just told about the wedding. Second time she just mentioned company sponsored getaway for 3 days. But didn't tell they will be trekking and staying in tents at night. Now I'm confused if my wife cheated on me because she didn't completely divulged the information
I thought to use hacking but one night I couldn't control so I tried to access her phone while sleeping but she woke up and shouted for frighten her.
I asked her to open the phone immediately and she gave after hesitation.i sent to insta and she had chatted with a guy but she said he approached her and after he started using words like dear she stopped responding.
I apologise and went to sleep. Next day she went to office and i thought there was something wrong so when she came back I asked her to show her mobile once more. She refused but I said I won't budge ybtil she gives .
I saw that one boy was always next to her in all the photos so I checked his chats and i found everything I needed.
Here are some chats
Wife: And now I know you have crush on me.. so why to hurt your feelings by calling bro and all?
3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Guy: When u did u know?
3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Wife: Yeahhh I do. Why not. I usually care about feelings a lot.. I don't like to hurt anyone ?
3/21/24, 10:30 PM - Wife: You only told me once know then I got to know
3/21/24, 10:31 PM - Wife: Otherwise also the way you look at me only I can understand ?
3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Guy: Seriously I looked at you like that ??
3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Guy: Ohhh my ????
3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Wife: Yeahhh you do sometimes
3/21/24, 10:32 PM - Wife: Not recently .. but yes you do sometimes
3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Guy: Tell me last time when I saw?
3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: May be on women's day
3/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: On lunch day you didn't see like that
3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: Yess ..
3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: Party time right?
3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Yes.
3/21/24, 10:34 PM - Guy: U looking gorgeous ??
3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: Telling now ?
3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: You didn't tell on that day
3/21/24, 10:35 PM - Guy: I told... In single word
9/25/23, 11:12 PM - MC: Yes really this night really very good day and sweet dreams
9/25/23, 11:13 PM - Wife: Is it ? What special happened today ?
9/25/23, 11:13 PM - MC: Bcoz I saw one angel, I think she directly came from Indra lokha ?
9/25/23, 11:15 PM - MC: Every time she looking aged.. but today those words are all false
9/25/23, 11:15 PM - Wife: Ohhhh... don't dream about that girl Okay
9/25/23, 11:16 PM - MC: Y is not good ?
9/25/23, 11:16 PM - Wife: Hmmmm good question. I guess you can.
9/25/23, 11:17 PM - MC: So I can dream right?
9/25/23, 11:17 PM - Wife: Yeahhh y not... dreaming is your choice na. No one can steal it and no one can question it
9/25/23, 11:18 PM - Wife: She looked aged everytime is it ?
9/25/23, 11:19 PM - MC: Okay thanks ?... but here you have the right to ask question
9/25/23, 11:19 PM - Wife: Out of all dresses, Which outfit looked good tell me now.
9/25/23, 11:19 PM - Wife: I will not question you
?10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: U r the important to me naa ?
10/19/23, 9:42 PM - Wife: For me nothing special
10/19/23, 9:42 PM - Wife: Hahahaha.. am I?
10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: Okay will see tomorrow
10/19/23, 9:42 PM - MC: Haa u only
10/19/23, 9:43 PM - Wife: Don't fall for me MC ??
10/19/23, 9:43 PM - MC: Y u will fall for me naaa?
10/19/23, 9:44 PM - Wife: Hahahaha
10/19/23, 9:44 PM - Wife: We are good as friends only ?
10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: Hey hey I'm chatting casually Wife
10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: Don't mind
10/19/23, 9:45 PM - MC: We r frnds
10/19/23, 9:46 PM - MC: Don't overthinking yaaa
10/19/23, 9:46 PM - Wife: I knowwwww
10/19/23, 9:46 PM - Wife: No over thinking ok11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: Don't angry and don't think wrong abt me ?
11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: I feel some good(romantic) vibes when u r with me I mean close to with me <This message was edited>
11/23/23, 4:14 PM - MC: Touching ??
11/23/23, 4:17 PM - Wife: Hahaha.. yeah I feel good to have a friend like you MC..
11/23/23, 4:17 PM - Wife: ?
I confronted my wife with those whatsapp chats. It led to a huge fight where she was telling the following things to defend me and that colleague.-
He is young and she felt him like some kind of puppy love exhibited by a high school student towards his school teacher-
He has gfs and roams with multiple people so she doesnt think he was serious when he was flirting and giving compliments-
She always stopped him when he tried to go overboard -
They chat at the frequency of once a week not more.-
Most importantly, if she had feelings for him.their chats would have a different turn and she might have ended up in physical
For 2 hrs she defended this guy over me and i attempted suicide. So next day her sister came to mediate . I tild the following
Whenever he steps over the compliments, why she is not stern in warning him bt give simple statements ike ""u r young"," im married " etc-
Does the words he use constitute sexual harassment in corporate culture?-
Why has she discussed things with his about certain college crushes she never discussed with me?-
Why she has never explicitly denied whenever he gave her options to hang out-
Cheating happens step by step and she is currently in the 20th of the 100 steps maybe.
He just needs a place and time and maybe some alcohol to get that.-
Why should she defend him so much instead of admiting her mistakes
.I also pointed out these chats that he is already planning for next steps.Calling her for a midnight bike ride
10/27/23, 9:57 AM - Wife: In mid night and all... interesting
10/27/23, 9:58 AM - Wife: I'm feeling something more
10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: Wt u feeling more?
10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: Tell me
10/27/23, 9:58 AM - MC: So we can also go one day. Come to Priya home . I'll also come
10/27/23, 10:00 AM - Wife: I don't have that much luxury to roam around in midnight ?
10/27/23, 10:00 AM - Wife: Yeahh may be she likes you
10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: Yes As a frnd
10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: No we can plan
10/27/23, 10:01 AM - MC: We can meet Priyas home.. one day
10/27/23, 10:03 AM - Wife: Hmmm okay nice
10/27/23, 10:03 AM - Wife: Will see .Calling for a private party with alcohol
2/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: Yup. Women friends are best
2/21/24, 10:33 PM - Wife: Yeah
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: Yes
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: We also go for party
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: We 3
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: If u and my sis fine
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Yup will do
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - MC: Drink dance ?
2/21/24, 10:34 PM - Wife: Dance is must ???
2/21/24, 10:35 PM - Wife: We danced today too
2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: But place we have to find
2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: Secret place
2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: No one will disturb
2/21/24, 10:35 PM - MC: Ohhh nice yar
Here sis is another older married colleague he calls as sis who is Priya in previous conversation.
So her sisters also joined in and said his behavior doesnt seem alright but she said she didnt want to lose friendship over some of his stupid comments . They gave him a good scolding and she now has understood the gravity of the situation. She has promised not to chat with him anymore.
She also asked sorry for all the troubles she caused for 10 years and will try to change. I too promised to get therapy for ED and develop intimacy better.Now her sisters also know her emotional cheating.
So now we have a clean slate to start our relattionship when she wont bring my porn addiction and I wont bring her chatting.
Bit now i don't know if she had cheated me as well. I didn't find any evidence of trying to organise any meeting or any photos or videos of sexual nature . please clear my doubt ob what you think of this
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