Pakalu Papito Jokes/Tweets

[pastispresent]

My mind is like internet browser, at least 19 tabs open, 3 are frozen and i have no idea where the music is coming from.

[pastispresent]

if i blocked you on social media and you see me in the streets, the block still applies in real life.

[pastispresent]

i love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up,

because i’m still looking for ideas.

[pastispresent]

on mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. just like every Monday does on earth.

[pastispresent]

i’m not lazy, i’m on power savings mode.

[pastispresent]

when i die I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his taxi.

[pastispresent]

life is a soup and I’m a fork.

[pastispresent]

my mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth.

but unfortunately earth is round.

[pastispresent]

at the end of each day life should ask us:

do you want to save the changes?

[pastispresent]

life’s too short to remove the usb drive safely.

[pastispresent]

being an adult is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

[pastispresent]

it takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 muscles to smile.
but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

[pastispresent]

people say i act like i don't care.
it's not an act.

[pastispresent]

8 planets
204 countries
809 islands
7 seas
6,000,000,000+ people
and I'm single.

[pastispresent]

sometimes i wish i was an octopus, so i could slap eight people at once.

[pastispresent]

before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are.

[pastispresent]

don't break someone's heart, they have only one.

break their bones, they have 206 of them

[pastispresent]

the only exercise I done last month was running out of money

[pastispresent]

if i got a dollar for every time i thought about you, i would start thinking about you

[pastispresent]

my secret talent is getting tired without doing anything