13-07-2019, 11:17 PM
Dear Dmahi,
As I said earlier , your language is very good. You are writing a family incest story, Your plot is nice . Can I suggest few thing,
You should not bring so many characters all at a time. Reader will not be able to establish link between them, hari Singh, madhav sing, ram sing, rati, Saroo and many others are there. you should bring one or two new characters in every update , not more...as other reader has also said "THERE WILL BE LOT OF RAITA ALL ALONG" and you yourself will not be able to justify their character.
IT IS NOT A CRITICISM , JUST A SUGGESTION, BECAUSE IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO POST SO MANY UPDATE IN ONE DAY...
notwithstanding my suggestion , your story is nice..
As I said earlier , your language is very good. You are writing a family incest story, Your plot is nice . Can I suggest few thing,
You should not bring so many characters all at a time. Reader will not be able to establish link between them, hari Singh, madhav sing, ram sing, rati, Saroo and many others are there. you should bring one or two new characters in every update , not more...as other reader has also said "THERE WILL BE LOT OF RAITA ALL ALONG" and you yourself will not be able to justify their character.
IT IS NOT A CRITICISM , JUST A SUGGESTION, BECAUSE IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO POST SO MANY UPDATE IN ONE DAY...
notwithstanding my suggestion , your story is nice..
‘LIVE LIFE CHAMPA STYLE
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