Adultery Anita Singh - Story of a Seductive Housewife

[creamydelight]

Reason?

It's just that... first there is some action, like Anita walking with more matak of her butt, then there are the lyrics of the song, then the action and description and Anita's reaction to the wordings of the song. I think I understand what you are trying to portray... that something is happening and someone is singing an appropriate song describing it. A song is continuous, but the action-description-reaction loop is breaking that seamlessness of the song. The same thing, if acted in a screen, would be much more effective, but the lagged/broken effect in writing is not letting it get there. It's a good screenplay idea, but maybe not for a story meant to be read.


Overall, I haven't been able to read and relish the last 4-5 updates as comfortably as I'd have wanted to due to extreme pressure at work and not as much leisure time. Usually I read each update at least 2 times, once for just my arousal and gratification, and then second time to notice subtler details that I might have missed the first time due to the horniness. But that hasn't happened in the last 4-5 updates, so I haven't even commented in much detail. Hopefully, will get time around or before Dussehra. Talking of that, i just had a thought if there was a festival where Anita and Hariya kr someone else could have some fun in the middle of a festive crowd, maybe right under her husband's nose. Just a stray thought.

Regarding the song in story thing.. you had once posted a snippet of a story where Anita or maybe some other woman dances to a song in front of 4-5 men who are drinking/eating. I felt the same thing there as well. That the intended effect was getting broken.

There is also the off chance that some reader hasn't heard the song you have used. It happened to me in that snippet. I hadn't heard that song. So even though I saw it once in YouTube and then read it again, it didn't seem so familiar because I had heard it only that one time. The song you used today is possibly much more famous, but still there may be that odd reader who hasn't