14-12-2022, 04:24 PM
I mean, it satisfied me. Apara had dropped the bombshell that she was not a virgin. She never asked me the same question, so I never volunteered the information that I actually was. Yes, until my mid-30s, I had never had sex. I was never able to get a girlfriend. And unlike some of my other friends, I never had the courage or the inclination to go to brothels or hire call girls. I was brought up being told that pre-marital sex was bad, prostitutes were unclean, and sex should only be had after marriage. So as much as I felt tempted, I ended up saving my virginity for my wife.
So until the first night I spent with Apara, I had no first hand experience of sex or of even kissing a girl. All I knew about sex was what I had seen in porn and movies and books. All I knew about sexual pleasure was what I got from masturbation. My close friends knew this about me, but it's not like they themselves were Casanovas. Some of them had only been with prostitutes. Others, only with their wives, who themselves were virgins. So before my wedding night, I got a lot of advice from these friends, but most of it was confusing and conflicting. I searched for advice online, and found even more conflicting and confusing information.
Don't get me wrong. It's not like I was ignorant of basic anatomy or what goes where. I had watched enough porn to know that. I wasn't sure exactly what to do. Like....should I just start taking her clothes off? How long do I kiss? Is it okay to touch her breasts? We are practically strangers after all. What if she doesn't want me? Do I look good naked? Does my paunch make me ugly? Is my dick big enough? So on and so forth.
All my friends who were married, had married virgins. Or at least that's what they told me. So if they were confused, so were the wives. At least they took this journey together. Here I was marrying a woman who grew up in America and had already said she wasn't a virgin. When had she first had sex? How many times had she had sex? With how many men? Even if it was just once with one man, that still made her infinitely more experienced than me. So maybe she could sort of take the lead and teach me things.
So when I went to the ostentatiously decorated bedroom on wedding night, my heart was thudding against my rib cage. I was nervous. My mouth was dry with fear. And my friends and cousins, who were coming along to drop me to the door, weren't making things easy. Comments like, don't worry man, I am sure you will make her shriek like a banshee, just follow your instincts, make her beg for more, easy on those big boobs, etc.
I finally entered the room and shut the door behind me. Maybe it's all the movies and books, but I was expecting her to be sitting demurely on the bed, with her pallu pulled over her face. Instead, she was lying down on the rose petal covered bed, one leg folded up in the knee, checking her phone. When I walked in, she gave me a polite smile, the kind an air hostess gives you when you step onto the plane. And then went back to looking at her phone. I felt less like her husband and more like an intruder. Regardless, I forged ahead. Sitting on the bed, I asked her,
"Kem chho....how are you?"
What a stupid question to ask.
"Fine. A little tired." she said, not taking her eyes off the phone.
"Yeah, I am also tired."
"It is exhausting standing so much, smiling for all those people, and bending down and touching feet of so many relatives."
"Very true." I said. And then had no idea what to say.
She took her eyes off the phone and looked at me with an inert expression. I did the same. It looked at the clock on the wall.
"It is past midnight." I said.
"Yes, it is."
"If you are tired and all, you should sleep." I had no idea why I said that. I had been insanely waiting for this moment my whole life. My first sexual experience. And I had just offered to postpone it.
"Are you sure?" she arched her eyebrows.
"Yeah...I am tired too." I said.
So until the first night I spent with Apara, I had no first hand experience of sex or of even kissing a girl. All I knew about sex was what I had seen in porn and movies and books. All I knew about sexual pleasure was what I got from masturbation. My close friends knew this about me, but it's not like they themselves were Casanovas. Some of them had only been with prostitutes. Others, only with their wives, who themselves were virgins. So before my wedding night, I got a lot of advice from these friends, but most of it was confusing and conflicting. I searched for advice online, and found even more conflicting and confusing information.
Don't get me wrong. It's not like I was ignorant of basic anatomy or what goes where. I had watched enough porn to know that. I wasn't sure exactly what to do. Like....should I just start taking her clothes off? How long do I kiss? Is it okay to touch her breasts? We are practically strangers after all. What if she doesn't want me? Do I look good naked? Does my paunch make me ugly? Is my dick big enough? So on and so forth.
All my friends who were married, had married virgins. Or at least that's what they told me. So if they were confused, so were the wives. At least they took this journey together. Here I was marrying a woman who grew up in America and had already said she wasn't a virgin. When had she first had sex? How many times had she had sex? With how many men? Even if it was just once with one man, that still made her infinitely more experienced than me. So maybe she could sort of take the lead and teach me things.
So when I went to the ostentatiously decorated bedroom on wedding night, my heart was thudding against my rib cage. I was nervous. My mouth was dry with fear. And my friends and cousins, who were coming along to drop me to the door, weren't making things easy. Comments like, don't worry man, I am sure you will make her shriek like a banshee, just follow your instincts, make her beg for more, easy on those big boobs, etc.
I finally entered the room and shut the door behind me. Maybe it's all the movies and books, but I was expecting her to be sitting demurely on the bed, with her pallu pulled over her face. Instead, she was lying down on the rose petal covered bed, one leg folded up in the knee, checking her phone. When I walked in, she gave me a polite smile, the kind an air hostess gives you when you step onto the plane. And then went back to looking at her phone. I felt less like her husband and more like an intruder. Regardless, I forged ahead. Sitting on the bed, I asked her,
"Kem chho....how are you?"
What a stupid question to ask.
"Fine. A little tired." she said, not taking her eyes off the phone.
"Yeah, I am also tired."
"It is exhausting standing so much, smiling for all those people, and bending down and touching feet of so many relatives."
"Very true." I said. And then had no idea what to say.
She took her eyes off the phone and looked at me with an inert expression. I did the same. It looked at the clock on the wall.
"It is past midnight." I said.
"Yes, it is."
"If you are tired and all, you should sleep." I had no idea why I said that. I had been insanely waiting for this moment my whole life. My first sexual experience. And I had just offered to postpone it.
"Are you sure?" she arched her eyebrows.
"Yeah...I am tired too." I said.
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