Adult/Dirty/Sex Jokes

[pastispresent]

A man heard that masturbating before sex...


A man heard that masturbating before sex often helped blokes last longer during the act. The man decided to give it a try. He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe.

On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.

Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to wank. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to the big finish, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants.

Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"

He heard, "This is the security officer. What's going on down there?"

The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."

Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."