10-12-2018, 02:36 PM
(This post was last modified: 19-01-2019, 01:34 PM by Ramesh_Rocky.)
I still remember when it all started. My ship was docked at Rotterdam. I finished my shift, returned to my room, and as was the daily routine, logged into Skype to talk to my wife Menaka back in Mumbai. It was almost midnight there.
Menaka was on time as always. We exchanged notes about each other's days, she told me about how our nine year old Ayan had scored an A in his spelling test, and complained about how hot and humid it was getting. It was well over 30 minutes into the conversation that she said,
"Oh by the way Prakash, I have something funny and embarrassing to tell you."
"What's up?"
"Hehe, it's so weird. Basically, I saw Dara having sex on the roof!"
"WHAT??"
Dara was our building's elderly Nepali watchman. A balding wiry Gurkha who lived in a small shack at the bottom of the building with another watchman. He had started working with us only a few months before.
"The internet wasn't working, and when I called the company, they said the problem might be with one of the switches near the roof's door. They said they could send someone over the next day, but if I wanted I could do it too. It was about an hour ago. I followed their instructions and reset the switch and was about to go down again when I saw the roof door was open."
The door to the roof of our building is always locked, with each resident having a key.
"I thought maybe someone had forgotten to lock it. I had my keys with me. So I decided to check no one was up there before locking it. When I walked up, I instantly heard soft sounds of moaning. Curious, I walked across the roof and there I saw them. Behind the water tank. Hehehe."
"Oh my god...hahaha....did you get to see anything good? Who was he with?"
"One of the maids who works in the building. I think her name is Vimla. She is in her early 20s. They were going at it hot and heavy."
"Were they naked?"
"Semi-naked. Bottomless. He had his shirt on. She had her kameez on. She was bent over, with her hands on the pabangt wall. And he was doing it to her from behind."
"So what did you get to see?"
"Not much. It was kinda dark. He had turned off the roof light. But from the ambient light, I got to see enough."
"That is so hilarious. Old Dara, huh. Who would've thought he was such a stud?"
"Anyway, when I saw the sight, I was shocked and just stayed rooted to my spot. I watched them for almost a minute before Dara noticed me. He stopped humping her for a moment and was about to say something when I blushed, turned around, and ran out."
"Hahaha. I wonder if they stopped or if they kept going."
"No idea. Someone like you might keep going."
"Maybe. Oh speaking of which, I won't be able to log in tomorrow."
"Why?"
"It's THE reason. You wanna know details?"
"No." the smile disappeared from Menaka's face.
There was a small awkward silence. Then she said,
"But day after tomorrow?"
"Yup, same time."
"Okay. I'll talk to you then. Good night."
"Good night."
Even after nine years of marriage, although Menaka had accepted THE reason throughout, she still wasn't entirely comfortable with it. And THE reason was that I had a date. With a particularly comely Dutch woman.
-----
I work as an engineering officer on a merchant ship. Which meant that for 6 months of the year, I was away from India, traveling various ports around the world. It's a job I had dreamed of as a child and loved it even as a grown-up. I grew up in a conservative Marwari family in Jaipur. So my days in the merchant navy opened up a whole new world to me. From being a nerdy virgin in my engineering college days, in a year or so, I transformed into a male nympho under the tutelage of my more experienced colleagues.
It started off with the relatively classy red light district in Amsterdam where a few colleagues dragged me on my first shore leave. Then shadier red light areas in other ports. Then I started learning about the singles bars and other pick-up spots around the world at every port we docked at. I picked up tips and pointers from colleagues about how to chat up women, how to read signals, how to identify the right ones to target. And even if I do say so myself, I am quite good looking and articulate.
It didn't take long until I had my first one-night stand with a woman without paying her anything. It was in Hamburg. Luisa, a platinum blond single mother in her early 30s who I met in a bar and who was quite the Indophile. It didn't take too many drinks to seal the deal and she took me to her place. She rode me like a cowgirl for hours.
The first few women I charmed and bedded were mostly white. Then slowly my repertoire started opening up. Chinese women, Arab women, South Americans, Africans and of course Indian.....I had tasted almost every race by the time I was 25.
But something was missing. I was started to crave genuine companionship. Not just booty calls and one night stands. So when one of my one night stands during a month long break in Bombay started showing signs of attachment, I jumped in too. Soon I was in a serious monogamous relationship with Neha, a Punjabi investment banker. The relationship lasted three years. But it was monogamous for only a year.
I tried my best to be faithful to Neha. And I succeeded for a year. But soon, the temptations were too much to resist on long stints away from her. I strayed, egged on by my colleagues, most of whom were married but were cheating on their wives with impunity. And strayed again. Kept it secret from Neha. But Neha was suspicious and paranoid anyway, knowing about my previous ways. It didn't take too long for me to get "caught" about two years into the relationship. This was right after I had proposed to her too.
We fought, argued, cried, yelled, and fought some more. I tried to explain to her that she was the love of my life. What I had done with other women while on assignment was purely physical and meaningless. I promised to stop. After many late night fights, she agreed to give me another chance.
But it didn't stick. After a year of recriminations, it ended with a particularly dramatic fight in which she threw the engagement ring into the Arabian Sea.
-------
Scarred by the break-up, I returned to my old ways with a vengeance. But in another couple of years, I started feeling lonely again.
My parents, still their conservative Marwari selves in Jaipur, had been pestering me to get married right from the day I started working. They weren't thrilled when I got engaged to a Punjabi like Neha, but were happy that I was at least looking to settle down. They came to love her, appreciate her finer points, made their peace with her not being from the same community. And were livid when I told them it was over.
Their pestering got particularly intense after I turned 30. And on a 2 month long trip home, I finally caved and let them start the traditional match-making process.
The prospective women they shortlisted for me all fit the same template - they were Marwari of course, and from our sub-caste. Their horoscopes aligned with mine. They were good-looking, educated but not too educated, and were "homely". Which meant they were docile, could cook and clean, and were easy to boss around. As a merchant navy engineer with a comfortable salary, I wasn't as cherished on the marriage market as an elite bureaucrat or a a banker MBA, but I was still in demand.
The first prospect we visited was insanely gorgeous. Oh man, I still get a boner thinking about her. Things progressed well with her in the first couple of visits. The families were happy. And we finally got permission to "go out" just on our own.
That's when the match ended. Based on my experience with Neha, knowing my libido, and having observed all the philandering colleagues around me all these years, I had come to a realization. There was only one way this could work. So after ordering coffees and getting some more small talk out of the way, I started my rehearsed monolog.
"I want to clarify something up front. I am in a job that has me traveling overseas for 6-9 months of the year, many times for months at a time. I am a young virile good looking red blooded man with needs. When I am on the ship, I will satisfy my needs. Just like I have been doing so far. I will be emotionally faithful to you and committed to the marriage. But I want you to know up front that when away, I will be sleeping with other women. I have seen colleagues hide it from their wives and be in marriages based on dishonesty. I don't want that. I need you..."
"Please take me home." she interrupted me, her face red with rage.
I nodded, and took her home. I didn't want my parents to know about this so I begged her to give some other reason for rejecting me.
When the rejection was officially conveyed, the reason provided was "she is not thrilled with the idea of being in a marriage where the husband is away half the time."
My parents were disappointed. Their disappointment only grew when three other matches ended the same way. Those women couldn't stomach my proposed "policy" either.
----------
And then came Menaka.
Menaka was "damaged goods" according to my parents. In fact they were opposed to even seeing her, and only agreed after the mutual family friend who brought her match started putting pressure on them.
In every other way, Menaka was similar to the other prospects I had seen. With one major difference. She was a widow. She had been married right after college at 22 to a businessman who died in a car accident three months after their wedding. Menaka survived with minor scratches. And she got tagged as "inauspicious". She was now 25, and stayed with her parents. Her in-laws wanted no part of her.
So you can imagine why my orthodox parents were horrified when I told them after the first visit that I quite liked her. She was pretty, carried herself well, but more than that, there was an odd kind of wisdom in her eyes, maybe the result of three years of hardship.
When I gave Menaka the same speech I gave the other women, she didn't look angry or offended. She heard me out with a patient expression on her face. Then she was silent for a minute. And then said,
"My school friend Priya's uncle was in the merchant navy. She used to tell me about how he was."
"Okay." I said.
We sat in silence for another minute or so.
"You are aware of my previous marriage? And how it......ended?" she finally said.
"Yes."
"And you're okay with it?"
"Yes."
"Your parents?"
"Leave my parents to me."
She sat silently for another minute.
"We can't really afford much of a dowry. My parents used up their savings in my first...."
"Dowry? Who said anything about dowry? I don't want any dowry. Nor do my parents."
She nodded. And then quietly said,
"Give me a couple of days to think about it."
She conveyed her acceptance a couple of days later. My mom threw a tantrum but I was steadfast. And threatened to bring home a foreigner wife if they kept objecting to Menaka. We were married a month later.
----------------------------
Nine years of marriage went by very smoothly. Within a few months, Menaka was pregnant. Ayan was born. We bought an apartment in Bombay and moved base there from Jaipur. My parents came to love Menaka dearly very soon. When I didn't die within a year of the marriage, their superstitious fears melted away.
Menaka held up her end of the bargain about THE reason. She never brought it up, never grumbled about it, and if it somehow came up during conversations inadvertently, changed the subject.
The only time we had a bit of a fight relate to the subject was about a year into the marriage. We had just finished having sex, and I said,
"You're incredible! I can't believe how easily you lost all the pregnancy weight."
"I'm still 5 kgs overweight." she said.
"Nonsense. You're voluptuous."
"You're just being nice."
"No, seriously. Any man would be happy to sleep with you."
"Shut up!" she punched me playfully.
"Don't take my word for it. Try it out."
"What?"
"I've never made it explicit but I thought this was implied. I am away half the year. You have needs too. I'm not a hypocrite. If you want to........"
"STOP!" she angrily said. "HOW CAN YOU EVEN......"
And then she started crying. I apologized and dropped the subject, never to bring it up for seven more years.
---------------------
Menaka was on time as always. We exchanged notes about each other's days, she told me about how our nine year old Ayan had scored an A in his spelling test, and complained about how hot and humid it was getting. It was well over 30 minutes into the conversation that she said,
"Oh by the way Prakash, I have something funny and embarrassing to tell you."
"What's up?"
"Hehe, it's so weird. Basically, I saw Dara having sex on the roof!"
"WHAT??"
Dara was our building's elderly Nepali watchman. A balding wiry Gurkha who lived in a small shack at the bottom of the building with another watchman. He had started working with us only a few months before.
"The internet wasn't working, and when I called the company, they said the problem might be with one of the switches near the roof's door. They said they could send someone over the next day, but if I wanted I could do it too. It was about an hour ago. I followed their instructions and reset the switch and was about to go down again when I saw the roof door was open."
The door to the roof of our building is always locked, with each resident having a key.
"I thought maybe someone had forgotten to lock it. I had my keys with me. So I decided to check no one was up there before locking it. When I walked up, I instantly heard soft sounds of moaning. Curious, I walked across the roof and there I saw them. Behind the water tank. Hehehe."
"Oh my god...hahaha....did you get to see anything good? Who was he with?"
"One of the maids who works in the building. I think her name is Vimla. She is in her early 20s. They were going at it hot and heavy."
"Were they naked?"
"Semi-naked. Bottomless. He had his shirt on. She had her kameez on. She was bent over, with her hands on the pabangt wall. And he was doing it to her from behind."
"So what did you get to see?"
"Not much. It was kinda dark. He had turned off the roof light. But from the ambient light, I got to see enough."
"That is so hilarious. Old Dara, huh. Who would've thought he was such a stud?"
"Anyway, when I saw the sight, I was shocked and just stayed rooted to my spot. I watched them for almost a minute before Dara noticed me. He stopped humping her for a moment and was about to say something when I blushed, turned around, and ran out."
"Hahaha. I wonder if they stopped or if they kept going."
"No idea. Someone like you might keep going."
"Maybe. Oh speaking of which, I won't be able to log in tomorrow."
"Why?"
"It's THE reason. You wanna know details?"
"No." the smile disappeared from Menaka's face.
There was a small awkward silence. Then she said,
"But day after tomorrow?"
"Yup, same time."
"Okay. I'll talk to you then. Good night."
"Good night."
Even after nine years of marriage, although Menaka had accepted THE reason throughout, she still wasn't entirely comfortable with it. And THE reason was that I had a date. With a particularly comely Dutch woman.
-----
I work as an engineering officer on a merchant ship. Which meant that for 6 months of the year, I was away from India, traveling various ports around the world. It's a job I had dreamed of as a child and loved it even as a grown-up. I grew up in a conservative Marwari family in Jaipur. So my days in the merchant navy opened up a whole new world to me. From being a nerdy virgin in my engineering college days, in a year or so, I transformed into a male nympho under the tutelage of my more experienced colleagues.
It started off with the relatively classy red light district in Amsterdam where a few colleagues dragged me on my first shore leave. Then shadier red light areas in other ports. Then I started learning about the singles bars and other pick-up spots around the world at every port we docked at. I picked up tips and pointers from colleagues about how to chat up women, how to read signals, how to identify the right ones to target. And even if I do say so myself, I am quite good looking and articulate.
It didn't take long until I had my first one-night stand with a woman without paying her anything. It was in Hamburg. Luisa, a platinum blond single mother in her early 30s who I met in a bar and who was quite the Indophile. It didn't take too many drinks to seal the deal and she took me to her place. She rode me like a cowgirl for hours.
The first few women I charmed and bedded were mostly white. Then slowly my repertoire started opening up. Chinese women, Arab women, South Americans, Africans and of course Indian.....I had tasted almost every race by the time I was 25.
But something was missing. I was started to crave genuine companionship. Not just booty calls and one night stands. So when one of my one night stands during a month long break in Bombay started showing signs of attachment, I jumped in too. Soon I was in a serious monogamous relationship with Neha, a Punjabi investment banker. The relationship lasted three years. But it was monogamous for only a year.
I tried my best to be faithful to Neha. And I succeeded for a year. But soon, the temptations were too much to resist on long stints away from her. I strayed, egged on by my colleagues, most of whom were married but were cheating on their wives with impunity. And strayed again. Kept it secret from Neha. But Neha was suspicious and paranoid anyway, knowing about my previous ways. It didn't take too long for me to get "caught" about two years into the relationship. This was right after I had proposed to her too.
We fought, argued, cried, yelled, and fought some more. I tried to explain to her that she was the love of my life. What I had done with other women while on assignment was purely physical and meaningless. I promised to stop. After many late night fights, she agreed to give me another chance.
But it didn't stick. After a year of recriminations, it ended with a particularly dramatic fight in which she threw the engagement ring into the Arabian Sea.
-------
Scarred by the break-up, I returned to my old ways with a vengeance. But in another couple of years, I started feeling lonely again.
My parents, still their conservative Marwari selves in Jaipur, had been pestering me to get married right from the day I started working. They weren't thrilled when I got engaged to a Punjabi like Neha, but were happy that I was at least looking to settle down. They came to love her, appreciate her finer points, made their peace with her not being from the same community. And were livid when I told them it was over.
Their pestering got particularly intense after I turned 30. And on a 2 month long trip home, I finally caved and let them start the traditional match-making process.
The prospective women they shortlisted for me all fit the same template - they were Marwari of course, and from our sub-caste. Their horoscopes aligned with mine. They were good-looking, educated but not too educated, and were "homely". Which meant they were docile, could cook and clean, and were easy to boss around. As a merchant navy engineer with a comfortable salary, I wasn't as cherished on the marriage market as an elite bureaucrat or a a banker MBA, but I was still in demand.
The first prospect we visited was insanely gorgeous. Oh man, I still get a boner thinking about her. Things progressed well with her in the first couple of visits. The families were happy. And we finally got permission to "go out" just on our own.
That's when the match ended. Based on my experience with Neha, knowing my libido, and having observed all the philandering colleagues around me all these years, I had come to a realization. There was only one way this could work. So after ordering coffees and getting some more small talk out of the way, I started my rehearsed monolog.
"I want to clarify something up front. I am in a job that has me traveling overseas for 6-9 months of the year, many times for months at a time. I am a young virile good looking red blooded man with needs. When I am on the ship, I will satisfy my needs. Just like I have been doing so far. I will be emotionally faithful to you and committed to the marriage. But I want you to know up front that when away, I will be sleeping with other women. I have seen colleagues hide it from their wives and be in marriages based on dishonesty. I don't want that. I need you..."
"Please take me home." she interrupted me, her face red with rage.
I nodded, and took her home. I didn't want my parents to know about this so I begged her to give some other reason for rejecting me.
When the rejection was officially conveyed, the reason provided was "she is not thrilled with the idea of being in a marriage where the husband is away half the time."
My parents were disappointed. Their disappointment only grew when three other matches ended the same way. Those women couldn't stomach my proposed "policy" either.
----------
And then came Menaka.
Menaka was "damaged goods" according to my parents. In fact they were opposed to even seeing her, and only agreed after the mutual family friend who brought her match started putting pressure on them.
In every other way, Menaka was similar to the other prospects I had seen. With one major difference. She was a widow. She had been married right after college at 22 to a businessman who died in a car accident three months after their wedding. Menaka survived with minor scratches. And she got tagged as "inauspicious". She was now 25, and stayed with her parents. Her in-laws wanted no part of her.
So you can imagine why my orthodox parents were horrified when I told them after the first visit that I quite liked her. She was pretty, carried herself well, but more than that, there was an odd kind of wisdom in her eyes, maybe the result of three years of hardship.
When I gave Menaka the same speech I gave the other women, she didn't look angry or offended. She heard me out with a patient expression on her face. Then she was silent for a minute. And then said,
"My school friend Priya's uncle was in the merchant navy. She used to tell me about how he was."
"Okay." I said.
We sat in silence for another minute or so.
"You are aware of my previous marriage? And how it......ended?" she finally said.
"Yes."
"And you're okay with it?"
"Yes."
"Your parents?"
"Leave my parents to me."
She sat silently for another minute.
"We can't really afford much of a dowry. My parents used up their savings in my first...."
"Dowry? Who said anything about dowry? I don't want any dowry. Nor do my parents."
She nodded. And then quietly said,
"Give me a couple of days to think about it."
She conveyed her acceptance a couple of days later. My mom threw a tantrum but I was steadfast. And threatened to bring home a foreigner wife if they kept objecting to Menaka. We were married a month later.
----------------------------
Nine years of marriage went by very smoothly. Within a few months, Menaka was pregnant. Ayan was born. We bought an apartment in Bombay and moved base there from Jaipur. My parents came to love Menaka dearly very soon. When I didn't die within a year of the marriage, their superstitious fears melted away.
Menaka held up her end of the bargain about THE reason. She never brought it up, never grumbled about it, and if it somehow came up during conversations inadvertently, changed the subject.
The only time we had a bit of a fight relate to the subject was about a year into the marriage. We had just finished having sex, and I said,
"You're incredible! I can't believe how easily you lost all the pregnancy weight."
"I'm still 5 kgs overweight." she said.
"Nonsense. You're voluptuous."
"You're just being nice."
"No, seriously. Any man would be happy to sleep with you."
"Shut up!" she punched me playfully.
"Don't take my word for it. Try it out."
"What?"
"I've never made it explicit but I thought this was implied. I am away half the year. You have needs too. I'm not a hypocrite. If you want to........"
"STOP!" she angrily said. "HOW CAN YOU EVEN......"
And then she started crying. I apologized and dropped the subject, never to bring it up for seven more years.
---------------------
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