My Fantasies

[RocketRaj]

My boyfriend in college once drugged me and shared me with his room mate.
I felt cheated and was obviously very furious. So I dumped him.
Now I am married, but my husband seems to be more interested in alcohol than me.
Even on a new year's day, he's out partying with his friends leaving me alone at home.
When I am lonely(which happens a lot), I sometimes wonder if I would have been happier with my boyfriend.
It has sort of become a fantasy, thinking about all the possibilities.
I know its cheating even to have such thoughts, but I don't know what to do. They are coming into my mind almost every day.
I feel trapped and confused.

You are passing thru that midlife crisis that happens to most. Somehow the mismatch of life before and after is tough. YOu seem to have had a happy free life before - and having a Boyfriend and youthful adventures are fun. Must have been a lots of sex, other than the laughs and revelry. Sad to hear that the B-tard was stupid enough to do a 3some without your consent. 
Now with married life, home bound and absent husband - the call of the past would be so appealing. 
I think you should try some adventure. If you husband is getting drunk, he may be also getting laid or maybe not. But you can find you way to get what you want.